New Rule: DNI (Do Not Interact) Lists are Banned

[tifa]

I feel like this whole conversation of "Block and be done!" is a little contradictory. The whole point is to not have someone interact in the first place. It is necessary sometimes, but just blocking everyone who falls under someone's discomforts is easier said than done.

-cut-

very well said, agreed with this post. i feel like it puts my thoughts into words perfectly

[Tindraake]

I didn't even know people had DNI lists on here-
I'm mostly positive towards the new update as I highly support blocking people instead (for any reason you see fit) and using other tools sites have available for curating who can interact with you.
Part of being online is curating your own experience. You can't expect others to do it for you, besides, I've seen time and time again that people either do not care and interact with you anyway, or are like me and don't really read DNI lists in the first place (mostly because it's usually incredibly taxing emotionally/mentally since they often give off very negative vibes) or straight up missed the list in the first place.
Generally, it's going to be rare that you come across someone that read your list AND decides to respect it, rendering it virtually useless anyway and in a worst case scenario leads to people with malicious intent to gain something to mess with you with.

Anyway, that was a weird ramble, please excuse me (I'm gonna dip out of this disussion now, just wanted to get my thoughts out there).

[SabrinaB]

There are many options to avoid triggers.
You can disable images, disable PMs, avoud certain forum boards...
Listing your triggers will only increase the chance of people mentioning it.
And consider how big the chance is of someone mentioning it in the first place.
On cs there is a fecent chance people will mention spiders, since there is a species of it on cs. Dont like them? Just say you dont want them in your trade rules, that helps. Dont say why, just say "i dont want spiders".

But how big is the chance of some random person interacting with me with triggers? Not too big.

I see many sigs with people's fandoms, but that can be solved by clicking the option to hide signatures.
If someone PMs about a trigger, you can block them.
And maybe (and sorry if i offend anyone) the internet isnt the place to be if you have so many triggers.

[RedAutumnLeaf]

Agree. This post and the discussion inspired me to delete my DNI from my carrd, because I realized it didn't do anything and made it easier for people to potentially trigger me by sending the specific triggering content I listed to me. They really don't do anything. If something about a person would bother you, you can block them, no hard feelings expected. If they become your friend, you can ask them about that specific thing and respond from there. Listing your DNI features only makes it easier for people to know what specific buttons of yours to push.

[alce]

[cut]…
Whether you understand or not, some people simply have triggers and discomforts that they cannot work around right now. I myself have a few due to mental health issues and trauma; therapy is not something you can put a timer on, and not everyone gets the privilege of getting help. A lot of people, especially kids, seek comfort online when this is the case. It isn't the safest, but it's all some people have, especially in the age of COVID. If someone wants to have a list, why does it matter?
...[cut]

This entire response is perfectly written and puts my thoughts directly into words. Thank you for typing this out

[Skye Fawn]

I fully support this rule. I suffer from pretty severe anxiety and depression. There are things that I have read/seen on here that have 'triggered' me and I had to step away for a bit. But that was MY personal responsibility. Listing out all your triggers and expecting people to read through hundreds of DNI lists before interacting with someone who posted on a public forum or before sending a trade is a lot of emotional labor that I, respectfully, cannot handle.

It is also adding an unnecessary burden onto the CS Staff who I imagine are already constantly busy trying to monitor the forums, PMs, and trades.

For the users listing these things out, it is extremely dangerous for that info to be out in the public. It doesn't protect you. Its inviting trouble. I don't even understand how you can have it on a list, as typing out or seeing all my triggers on a list would be impossible for me to look at without experiencing problems.

On a pet trading website with an open forum, it is to be expected that you will meet many different people of all ages, traditions, cultures, and opinions. This is a family friendly pet adopting game site! The rules in place are already decent and do an extremely good job at keeping a lot of toxicity out. If you cannot handle this website without a DNI list, then I'm going to politely say you need to step away. If this website or the users/signatures on it trigger you to the point where you cannot visit without having a DNI list, then you don't need to be on here. It will only continue to harm you.

[bluestyle]

sorry for my unannounced leaving! im sure yall missed me <3 <3

ive had a carrd with a dni for an EXTREMELY long period of time, and yes, i did link it on here, and not once did anyone come up to me and just mention my triggers? its why ive kept it up for so long- ive had no issues whatsoever with it being there

some of you are saying that you have ptsd, anxiety, etc., which im not calling you out for lying, cos i cant tell if youre telling the truth or not in the first place. you're saying that you havent had experiences that some of us had where we felt unsafe without a dni, however of course we all have different issues, right?

what i feel is that some of the things we say just aren't getting through to you- some of us will never feel safe on this site without a dni. and we can't just change that, we can't talk to an adult about our issues, what will that help with? and iirc someone said something about not being able to just get over trauma overnight, its an extremely long and difficult process for most cases (thank you for saying this btw whoever it was!)

i'm still confused how this is suddenly an issue. i've had it up for AGES and never had anything wrong happen, apparently until now when i had to take it down. [removed]

[Mouse 13]

Please, if you do not feel safe on this or any other website, you should leave. You should be safe. If you feel like you are not safe, take yourself out of the unsafe situation. No one is responsible for your safety but yourself.

[Jijing]

Whether you understand or not, some people simply have triggers and discomforts that they cannot work around right now. I myself have a few due to mental health issues and trauma; therapy is not something you can put a timer on, and not everyone gets the privilege of getting help. A lot of people, especially kids, seek comfort online when this is the case. It isn't the safest, but it's all some people have, especially in the age of COVID. If someone wants to have a list, why does it matter?

Yes, everybody has the privilege of help, and please don't lead people to believe they don't. If you have access to the internet (which you do ofc since you're on CS), you have access to hundreds of free or cheap resources to help you manage your mental health. There are toll-free hotlines where you can call in anonymously, cheap or free therapists, charity organizations, even school counselors, teachers, advisors, etc. who always want to help you. Somebody around you is willing to listen. Everybody has help available to them if they reach out. If you can reach out on CS, you can reach out elsewhere too. Please consider these things. CS and other social media are not the best places to go for emotional comfort. Please do not believe that you can only get help if you can afford the time and money. There's always a lifeline no matter how hopeless it may seem.

I hate to say it so plainly but it is nobody's job to make their profile your safe space.

I don't know why you mentioned that therapy is not a fast solution. Nobody said that and I think most people know that is far from the truth. Therapy is not the only way to get help with mental issues. Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all and sometimes, it doesn't work for people. But that doesn't mean giving up on seeking out help. Just because you can't afford therapy doesn't mean you can't get help. If you can't afford therapy, look at other options like I listed above.

If you are a young child reading this, please know there's always help! Seek out a teacher, counselor, advisor, grandparent, uncle, aunt, cousin, sibling, religious leader, etc. who you trust! Somebody is always going to be there to listen to you. There is always hope <3

[Light Bringer]

sorry for my unannounced leaving! im sure yall missed me <3 <3

ive had a carrd with a dni for an EXTREMELY long period of time, and yes, i did link it on here, and not once did anyone come up to me and just mention my triggers? its why ive kept it up for so long- ive had no issues whatsoever with it being there

some of you are saying that you have ptsd, anxiety, etc., which im not calling you out for lying, cos i cant tell if youre telling the truth or not in the first place. you're saying that you havent had experiences that some of us had where we felt unsafe without a dni, however of course we all have different issues, right?

what i feel is that some of the things we say just aren't getting through to you- some of us will never feel safe on this site without a dni. and we can't just change that, we can't talk to an adult about our issues, what will that help with? and iirc someone said something about not being able to just get over trauma overnight, its an extremely long and difficult process for most cases (thank you for saying this btw whoever it was!)

i'm still confused how this is suddenly an issue. i've had it up for AGES and never had anything wrong happen, apparently until now when i had to take it down. i'm sure lots of people did too, until you mods just started going around saying it's not allowed. everything was normal until then, so thanks a lot for disrupting that.

There's no need to start being rude about any of this. CS staff are doing their best to keep the CS audience safe, which, I feel like it is important to remember that the target audience of CS which is children. It's important to keep the younger members of CS safe by not encouraging them to use potentially harmful things.