It was a cool morning by the sea. Fog rolled in making it hard to see your own paws. The main encampment wasn’t even visible anymore from where Hella stood inside the guard tower, despite being just across the way. This wasn’t such a bad place, Hella mused. Young Valerius had chosen well. The sea allowed for them to trade easily with foreigners and their access to it, as well as the more open lands beyond the encampment, allowed them some options and versatility as they chose how utilize this new land.
She liked getting up early like this, before anyone else had risen. Without the echoes of other lions’ voices it was easier than ever to imagine herself quite hidden away in this small corner of the world. She had felt similarly in the Empire, but there had been no quiet there.
No the hustle and bustle of the busy Empire had kept Hella on her toes. Sometimes she missed the grandness of it, the way she could so easily slip away in a crowd, how she could play at being anyone because there was always someone who had never seen her before and would easily fall for whatever new persona she chose.
But those days were behind her. For all of its glory and allure, the Empire had taken something very precious from her, something she might never get back now. At least here everyone accepted her as she was. She was neither peasant nor queen. Simply Hella.
A cold wind blew in through the guard tower window and Hella shivered, wishing she’d had the foresight to bring a thicker cloak. The thin fabric she was wearing was lovely to look at but not very practical. Living out here it made little sense to keep anything that didn’t have a real use, but Hella couldn’t quite bear to part with it. She could still remember the look on her son’s face when he had given it to her…..
“Mother, come see!”
“What is it?” Hella rushed to the front room of their home, fear flooding over her at the urgency in her son’s tone. But when she found him he had a grin on his face and he reached back to pull a package off of his back.
“Here, open it.” He pushed it toward her and Hella carefully pulled the paper away to reveal a square of fabric, neatly folded. At her son’s urging she lifted it carefully and it unfurled to reveal that it was a cloak with lovely green embroidery all along the edges and collar.
“It’s lovely, but-“
“It’s yours,” he cut in excitedly. “I finally found a job, now we won’t have to worry.”
Hella felt a confusing surge of relief and concern. Goodness knows they needed the money, but where had he found a job? For months he had found nothing, and she would not allow him to take a job as a fighter for entertainment like so many of the empire’s young lions.
“This is wonderful, but where?” She questioned.
“I’ll tell you all about it later,” he promised, giving her a gentle hug. “Right now I have to go.” Giving her one last smile he turned and disappeared out the door again, leaving Hella to wonder and study the cloak. It was a fine cloak, obviously well-made and something like the noble ladies wore, not a common lioness. He had known how she admired them and her heart warmed to think of him going to the trouble to find one she’d like, even remembering how she favored that shade of green. He was a good boy, her son. Hella only hoped he would be able to find happiness here and make his way like any honest, hardworking lion.
~
Abruptly Hella found herself jerked out of the fond memory as she remembered what had happened not long after he had given her the cloak. Not for the first time she wondered what might have happened if she had not taken him away from the life he could have been born into. Even now as she gazed out over the sea she found herself wondering where he was, and if he had exacted the revenge he had become so wrapped up in exacting. It was painful to think of the angry, revenge seeking lion her son had become. Was it her fault for hiding the truth from him? Or for bringing him to the Empire where life could be so beautiful, but so brutal? Again her mind began to drift to memories even as the cold winds blew at her face, ruffling her fur. She was so lost in it all that she barely felt a thing.
~
Hella had not known when she left her old life that she was expecting a cub, well, not for sure. But she had suspected. If she had only stayed he would have been raised a prince, no need to work for his meals. He would have had the best education and lived in comfort. But Hella’s worries had outweighed the pros, so she had run.
She could still remember that night clearly. Back then she was Princess Hella, wife of Prince Chikondi and member of the most influential royal family for miles around. The family was growing all the time, as was their power. But with the growth of the family there was less power and riches to go around, and the fighting began to get worse and worse.
Now Hella was no stranger to fighting. She was called the Warrior Princess for her prowess in battle. But as such she knew when she was in the middle of a fight that could not be won.
Her husband’s family had all turned against each other after the death of the king, his father. Chikondi fought his own brothers and uncles in a game of wits and physical shows of power. Hella had hoped that perhaps things could be settled somewhat peacefully with some of them banding together and exiling those who did not stand with them. But instead they all stood alone, none willing to band together with the others. Slowly Hella began to see her husband turning into the same monster as his father before him, and she knew that before this thing was settled the family would destroy themselves.
When he began to suspect she was going to have a cub Hella really began to think. As Chikondi’s wife she was a target. Those who fought against him might try to harm him through her, and when they found out she was expecting a cub the threat would only be doubled. That combined with the madness she saw growing in him every day prompted her to run.
She tried her best to make it look like she had possibly been killed during one of the skirmished between the uncles and Chikondi’s siblings. Then she put as much distance between herself and the pride as she could. That was when she came across the Empire.
It was a kingdom even more magnificent than the one her husband had been trying to build. The emperor ruled with an iron paw and for those who found a good place in the Empire, life was good. Surely it had to be better than what awaited her if she went back home, so Hella quietly integrated herself into the Empire.
It was rough going at first. She had been unable to bring much from home, and what she did have for money didn’t last long. For a while she was able to make it by selling what few jewels she had been able to bring with her, but when that ran out she was forced to find a job. As a foreigner it was no easy task. Many lions were suspicious of her and reluctant to allow her into their households. But finally she found a placed with a noble lioness who was in such dire need of an attendant that she couldn’t be bothered with Hella’s foreign roots.
It was truly a lucky break for Hella. She had worried that she might lose the position once her pregnancy became obvious but her new employer didn’t seem to mind as long as she was still available for her in the evenings to help her get ready for the evening’s festivities.
During her time with the household Hella was able to learn much about the Empire from firstpaw experience. Things were very different from what she was used to. It was the first land she had seen where it was the fashion for lionesses to sport manes, done up in elaborate up-dos and braids while the lions tended to prefer to keep their manes short if they had any mane to speak of. And the parties, festivals, and politics were central to the nobility who almost always seemed to be rushing off to do the next thing. It was certainly elegant and beautiful in the noble circles, something Hella got to experience plenty of as she stayed with her lady.
But she also got to see hints of the less pleasant side of things. For instance the poorer lions often struggled to find jobs, or feed their families. Their living quarters were often not nearly as nice, and there were few opportunities for them to raise their station. The social hierarchy was strict, perhaps even more so than in her old pride. Or maybe Hella was just more aware of it now that she was on the other side of things.
But she remained lucky. Even once her son was born she was able to continue her job to provide for him. She thought that she would wait until he was grown, then perhaps they could raise their status in society, or move on to some other place.
Unfortunately things took a turn when her lady became ill and it seemed like she would not recover. All of her servants were dismissed, Hella among them, and she was left to fend for herself with her young son. It was then that she had to become cleverer with her money earning schemes. She began to go to different noble houses, advertising her abilities as a hair dresser. She may have overstated it a bit, and no one really knew that her only experience came from being one lady’s attendant. But luckily she had enough skill to make the scheme work and the noble ladies were thrilled to think they were hiring an especially talented hair dresser for whatever occasion it was they had need of her.
Briefly it occurred to Hella that she almost missed that time in her life. Life had been simple, but lovely. She had worked during the day and returned to her son later in the evening. And the noble ladies had been willing to pay well for a special look. But despite trying she couldn’t erase her old life forever. In time her son did find out. The Empire had already changed him. He wanted more.
With a soft sigh Hella turned to leave the guard tower. That was enough remembering for one day, but for all her efforts she couldn’t completely stop the trickle of memories that followed.
~
Hella had hear her son come into the house but before she could stand to greet him he came into the room with an exasperated sigh.
“It is useless Mother!”
“What’s wrong?” Hella studied her son’s face, alarmed by the anger she found there.
“There is no way to better yourself here, they don’t want you to! I can work and work and still get nowhere. There are always obstacles, something I can’t quite get around.”
“Then why exhaust yourself trying?” Hella questioned almost pleadingly. She could easily be content with their place here in society but her son seemed to always want more, and it worried her. Why did he have to push himself all the time when they had everything that was most important already?
“Mother, I know you are happy as we are,” he said, his tone a little gentler now as he looked at her. “But I can’t be. You deserve the best, we deserve it. It’s not fair that they make it so hard.”
“Life isn’t always fair, but we are luckier than some,” she reminded him.
With a sigh he shook his head. “You don’t understand.” Leaning down her hugged her gently with his head a moment then backed away. “You’ll see mother, I’ll make a better life than this for both of us, and they can’t stop me.”
Perhaps it was the wrong move, but in that moment, out of worry for her son, Hella was compelled to tell him the truth she had hidden. And when she decided as much it all spilled out, the whole story.
When she was done she said, “So, you see my son, we had more once. But it wasn’t worth the danger and the pain. It is better for you and I to remain unseen, unnoticed. We have a decent life here, there is no need for more.”
For several long moments her son only stared at her in disbelief before finally saying, “How could you?”
The accusation in his tone stung but Hella said calmly, “I was trying to protect us. To do what was best for our future. It was a terrible time, not a good time or place for a cub to grow up.”
Her answer only seemed to make him more upset. “I could have been raised a prince, Mother!” He shouted. “All of these noble lions who look down on me, despise me. Act so much better than me and tell me I’ll never make it, and this whole time I was just as good as any one of them!”
“You don’t need the title of prince to be better than anyone,” Hella insisted. “Your courage, your patience, kindness, and loyalty are what make you stand out.”
“I can’t believe, you have let us struggle here, and this whole time, we could have had it all.” He spoke softly under his breath as if he was still processing. Hella wasn’t sure she should speak, but just when she was about to break the silence he spun around and began to walk away.
“Wait, where are you going?” Hella stood quickly, ready to follow if need be.
“To claim what is mine,” he said in a low voice, barely looking at her. “Don’t follow me Mother.”
Those were the last words Hella ever heard from her son, and even now she wondered what had happened to him. She had tried to follow him, she had searched the Empire, then beyond, asking anyone if they had seen him. But it was like he had disappeared off the earth. Hella feared he might try to find his father, if he was even still alive. But she sought out news of her old home, and there was no mention of her son in any capacity.
When she finally had to give up looking she returned to the Empire, and when word spread of Prince Valerius’s leaving and starting a new and better empire, Hella decided to join them. Despite her own life in the Empire not being so bad, she was not blind to its faults which had only grown in past years. Besides, she thought that the change might do her good. And perhaps she would even come across her son one day.
Now as she crossed the bridge that led from the guard towers to the main encampment she felt a renewed certainty that she had made the right choice. Unlike her previous homes this was a kingdom she could support and stand behind. And who knew, perhaps she wouldn’t be here forever. Perhaps she would leave again for one reason or another, but for now she was where she should be.