Topsy Turvey wrote:I have a almost three year old girl that I raised and a seven-ish year old boy that my sister raised and was given to me.
Me and my girl Fluff have a very good relationship where if need be she will let me gently restrain her and in return I am very aware of how she's feeling and give her often breaks. It works very well for us, afterwards she always comes for a bit of comfort which I love because I need it as much as she does.
The older boy Ash however, is an absolute nightmare to have to do anything with in that regard.
Neither me or my dad have managed to obtain a close enough bond with him that he'd take much comfort from us, not that it's made any difference in the past when my sister did this. Granted it isn't usually a problem, but we had to worm them all tonight.
We made the mistake of using a paste- I'm quite panicky about the pill method (they wont take in crushed/hidden) but next time I guess I'll have to bite the bullet! It managed to get all over me, all over him, and only a fraction actually went in his mouth.
I feel really bad for him and he's going to all of his comfort places (hiding on my bed or the shower) but I sat down with him and he finally let me clean the now-dried paste off his chest, not only that but he actually started to enjoy it which I'm happy about!
I always assumed I'd just leave him with my dad but I know they'll never bond properly and it wouldn't be fair to him, now comes the part of trying to develop a genuine bond with him. We've been making a lot of progress in the past few months which I'm happy about but we've still got a long way to go.
Playing is a great way to bond with your cat, especially if you can find a game he loves. Another thing you could try is helping him catch bugs in places he can't reach, my cat absolutely loves this and calls me whenever she thinks she sees a bug.
And it might be a little harder since he's older, but you could try teaching him some tricks. I started teaching yuki some simple tricks this year, and she loves doing them.
And when he's scared of something, you might try using a blanket on your lap to make a cave for him to hide in so he associates you as a safe place. This definitely helps yuki whenever there's a "stranger" in the house.
One last thing, definitely do a lot of floor time with him. Just sit on the floor near him, play on your phone or something, maybe get out a blanket, and only pet him when he wants you to. Both my cat and rabbit love this and always come over to cuddle.
I hope these help at least a little bit, I'm not sure if you were asking for ideas or anything so sorry if you weren't ;w;