TheComfortCorner | V.8

[Total K9]

I haven't had a panic attack in two years and today was the day I relapse. I honestly hate myself.

[mossmuttz]

You’re unbelievable.
Absolutely unbelievable.

[ortolani]

you keep being with her all the time

i hate it

[hiero]

I am very shaken. This is not a new occurrence, but it is not any less frightening when it does happen.
I am not looking for a diagnosis from anyone here. I just need to let it all out. Every time it happens I can't think anything but "this is how I die, isn't it. I am going to die right now," despite the fact that what happens is not really "painful." I took a peaceful shower this morning expecting nothing more than that, but when I got out and started brushing my hair, something began to feel off. I chose to try to ignore it since there is nothing I can really do about it anyways. I continued to brush. I started to hear loud ringing in my ear. I continued to ignore it hoping it was nothing. I know what happens when this happens and I am still a fool and remained in the restroom. I started to feel intense nausea, like I was about to lose everything inside of me. I still ignored it. Haha. Nothing triggered this sort of response, why should I worry? Probably just a cold again. Then I started to worry because my vision went out. This happens every time. This is when I panic. I go completely blind for a little while. So I felt my way onto the floor so I wouldn't fall. Usually this is when I call for someone else to keep their eye on me, but today happens to be one of those (normally lovely) days where I am completely alone at home. So I sat there. Fatigue hit, I laid myself down on the floor on my side in case I might go unconscious and still throw up. Didn't, thankfully. This is when I start thinking I am going to die. I cannot describe in words the pure terror and peace I feel whenever this happens. I sat there basically blind, unable to pick myself up, and unable to hear anything but a vicious, ringing roar in my ears which rendered me essentially deaf as well. I was stuck there for quite a bit. I lost track of time. Perhaps it wasn't so long. I guess somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes.
My parents know this happens to me. This is the fifth time in the past two years, I think. That doesn't seem like much. But it sure feels like a lot when I am lying on the bathroom floor only able to think and feel. I wish I could talk to a doctor about this. But my mother doesn't want to bother.
The ringing in my ear remains now. It is not nearly as powerful; I can hear. My head continues to throb. I am shaky and weak. But I am okay. I was going to go on a walk later, but I doubt that will happen. Not in this state. I am just happy to be somewhere more safe than a tiled floor behind a locked door now.

[Winstalgia]

it's obvious I've reached my boiling point. I'm sad, and I just wanna talk to someone. (Please don't pm me). The only person I would confide in that I could reach at anytime isn't available, and won't have internet for the next 3 days.

It's stupid, I don't know why I'm sad or angry. But I guess small things piling on top of each other eventually turns into a tall tower...

And jeez, I made you a damn sandwich! You shouldn't invite us over to your house and then complain we're not cleaning! I'm going to watch tv, I spent the entire morning cleaning my own house and chores!

[Arlecchino ♡]

I hate that I can't fight her battles for her, she doesn't deserve this.

[cornspurrd.]

my grandpa is only getting worse.
I just want him to get better
I don't want him to be gone,,

[Winstalgia]

I feel bad.

I walked out of the room when he took the remote from me and he said he didn't get to spend time with us today.

If my grandpa and I shared the same interests today would have been so much easier...

But no, he's just agitated me and now I feel guilty for snapping at him earlier and walking out to go do my own thing...

[Ramona Flowerss]

Someone please pm me, I'm really depressed and i don't know why. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I don't know what to do.....

[hiero]

I said something I wish I could take back. Why do I do this to myself.