TheComfortCorner | V.8

[rover]

i visited the hospital with my mother today to see how my blood test results came out. took my weight and blood pressure(s) while i was sitting, standing, and lying down.
turns out.. i’m at a healthy weight now (hurray!) and have enough nutrients in my blood (yay!) but...
my blood pressure is quite low... it was very borderline. they said if it was any lower, they would have sent me to the er. close call!! yikes!
i guess my body is still messed up, even though it’s been over a month since i started eating well again. just goes to show how much damage i did to myself in a short span of seven months...
another appointment in two weeks, to see my progress. i hope i’m better then, because the doctors informed me that if the results didn’t improve they’ll send me to the er. :(

[mossmuttz]

you’re funny.

[rubyrocketboots13]

First day of summer semester was today. It started off so well! I thought I'd be okay, but then everything started falling apart. I wish I could talk to my friend. He always make me feel so much better after a bad panic attack or a bad bout of depression. I'll see him tomorrow, but I'm still scared and hurt now. It's too late to text him and I can't work up the courage to text him anyway. I wish I wasn't so pathetic and needy all the time. I feel like such a waste of space.

[scottermite]

just a rant, feeling pressured

im so sick of you.
you're so passive aggressive i feel like im going to puke.
stop it.
stop trying to make me feel like im in the wrong for being
traumatized after what you've done to and around me.
stop trying to make me feel like im a horrible person
for wanting them out because they keep fighting and
it makes me want to vomit and cry and punch a wall.
seems like you wont care until i do something about it.
then you care.
you dont care when i cry, or scream, or try to tell you whats
bothering me, or when im not doing well in school or getting
up in the morning or only have one friend who actually talks
to me everyday (but not everyday because the umbrella damn
academy is more important than me sometimes)
you only care when i finally act out.
i think that that probably doesn't send the best message to me.
its making me sick.
i want to leave.
let me leave.

[skyline]

vent. it's nothing.


nothing i enjoyed doing when i was younger, or exhibited behaviors turned out as a talent, or latched on to me as i grew. i used to love writing, drawing, and a bunch of other stuff that i suppose 4-6 year olds don't typically care about. yet i really don't have any unique talents, at all? i cannot draw, write, i don't even have a learner's permit yet. i'm far over the age for it. i need to get involved with something. i wish i didn't have all these issues to add on to it all. is it just because i'm lazy? i wish i could do something interesting. maybe i'll figure something out as i get older, and as i get a life.

[farewell]

I feel miserable and I need to vent. Feel free to ignore or highlight to read if you want.
(Please don’t quote this post. If you’d like to respond, PM me instead. Thanks.)

I know I’m lying to myself when I say I’ll attend university after my surgery this year. I know when the time comes, I’ll just make another excuse. I feel like I’m not meant to do anything, I’m not meant to be anything. I have nothing going for me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I’ll always be chronically depressed and never fully accept that part of me. I always promised myself as a kid that I would fulfill the accomplishments nobody in my family ever has. I’d be the first to graduate from college. I’d be the first to have a healthy relationship and start my own family. But none of that is true. I’m surprised I even finished high school. I’ve made excuse after excuse for myself on why I shouldn’t continue my education.

When I graduated high school, I got accepted into every single university I applied to. I even got accepted into one of the best universities in my state on FULL SCHOLARSHIP for their nursing program... but I didn’t accept it. I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t mentally prepare myself for the responsibility of university. I never thought I would live to see myself be an adult and now that I’ve been in this bubble of adulthood for a while, I’m so lost. I never took the time to really sit down and analyze what I want for myself. I never accepted my role in this life to be anything other than a damn fraud.

I’m too tired to deal with myself. I go everyday wondering how the hell I could let myself become so miserable. I had a horrible childhood but it’s in my hands to make my life better, isn’t it? Why haven’t I freaking done it yet?

I bounce back and forth between apathy and caring so much that it hurts. It’s killing me.

[Spearow]

ugh I'm so tired from work but
the thought of sleep makes me
anxious. really hungry but I don't
get paid until tomorrow. which was
supposed to be my day off but i picked
up another shift when i should have
taken the day to rest. ah this sucks

[Total K9]

I'm losing weight

I'm losing my appetite

I'm losing my sanity for christ sake

I need to get out of this house

My mental health is nearly gone

Someone for the love of god, encourage me to get away from here
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME, I AM BEGGING YOU, MY GOD, I NEED HELP

[risotto]

ha have a tornado warning, cats are in the bathrooms two kittens didn't appreciate being woken up

and my mom is at work ofc so my dad is messaging me from like 6 hours away and all my lizard tanks are on the floor surrounded by pillows because my bed is too short

big anxiety and i really wanna puke rn

It's been storming but chilled out and the trees are lightly shaking so fun fun

[nervousdog]

So I believe I lost a friend today . And it kinda sucks, but Im like, almost not sad about it ? Just kinda null .
She keeps doing things that me and her other friends believe are cries for help and are really self destructive and had an intervention confronting her about these problems . She denied she had any and said she was fine . Okay, topic was dropped- cant help someone who doesn't want help . But then she started telling people not to take their medication for mental health ( all bc she had a bad experience with one medication herself ) and was confronted by strangers, so when she got upset she went to me for help . I told her she was wrong and not to seek me for solace on this subject .
She has a cat, which she refuses to fix ( I wouldn't have a problem if there were certain factors, but it would be healthier for the cat to be fixed at this current time and due to the amount of ferals and homeless pets we have all suggested getting her spayed ) . We dropped the subject though because she again, refused . Can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped .
Today was the last straw ig, because she was talking about a getting a dog . She has little experience in training or owning "non beginner" breeds . She wants a wolf dog . Or at the very least a german shepherd . I discouraged this due to her lifestyle and living situation, as well as it being a breed not suited for beginners . She got upset claiming I was saying she was incompetent and that "even though she has mental health issue she was just as competent as the rest of you" . This upset me, because I also have mental health issues, but I never brought them up as a reason she shouldnt get a dog at this point in time . I guess I did push a bit too far when I asked if she was going to get her dog fixed if she got one, because thats when she wanted to stop the conversation .
I dropped the subject .
She then tried to continue the topic ??????
So I did snap a bit and tell her that if she didn't want to talk about it not to drag it on . This is all through text on discord btw, so like, there is no way to tell the tone of each other's words or anything . She ended up leaving all the discords she had mutual with me and her best friend ( my sister ) after my twin got on and said that she was being a bit ridiculous .

Idk . Its not 100% the full situation but its some of the most recent and big events that happened to edge our friendship to the end and I guess I just needed to vent about it and type it all down . It sucks to looks a friend, and I'm scared for my friend . I really am . She is in a totally abusive relationship and has such self destructive tendencies . She's honestly a danger to herself and there is nothing we can do because she hasn't really done anything to warrant us calling someone to get her the help she needs ( whether she denies it or not ) .
I love her, she is one of my closest friends since middle school . But she's changed . She hasn't grown up, just changed . She's almost toxic now i guess .
I really hope things work well for her ; (

Idk sorry for venting and writing a book . It just rlly sucks and I needed to get it out .