by actmissing999 » Mon Feb 26, 2018 5:59 pm
i don’t understand why i’m like this.
every time i make friends i feel out of place like they don’t want me.
i joined a server with my best friend and a couple of their friends in it but
i just feel out of place like i don’t belong and they all hate me or think i’m a nuisance because i don’t even do the same thing they do!
it’s my fault i have two friends out of seven billion people on this earth. i convince myself they hate me and then distance myself from them.
i have a lot of discord servers but i don’t talk in any of them in fear of being hated or annoying
i could be a popular boy, but i’m ugly and annoying, so i’m not. it’s all my fault i’m not someone i like.
my parents are terrible at being parents. do they always have to mock me and discriminate against me?
school is a disaster too and that just adds to their ammo. i wish i had parents who cared about my mental health and well-being.
if i was in a world where i was perfect and my friends liked me and i just had a perfect life, that’d be so great. i’d be so happy. but the knowledge that will never ever ever happen hurts too.
also, i’ve been thinking- do i fawn over fictional characters because i know i’ll never be loved?
i distract myself with fiction because i can’t come to terms with cold hard reality.
i shouldn’t be like this. why am i such a terrible person? deceive, unlovable, disgusting. they say to love yourself and be comfortable with who you are, but i just can’t.
also, there’s ladybugs everywhere. i hate bugs! ahh so icky
someone send help ;_;
ashton ; he/she
i no longer use chicken smoothie but i'd love to talk!
you can find my current info
here