Bok Choy wrote:I posted this a while ago and there was a new development that I need help on.
Long story short, Bella found out via a mutual friend that Daniel doesn't return her feelings but is willing to be friends. She cried for ages about it and texted me saying that she's 'in ruins'. She is really, REALLY upset about it. I tried to comfort her and tried to push her along in getting over Daniel. But I'm afraid I might have put things too bluntly. I'm the type of person who isn't very sensitive or touchy-feely and I have trouble connecting with emotional responses.
I literally told Bella this: It's going to sound easy on paper, and there's really no delicate way of putting this, but
You're going to have to move on, no matter how hard it is.
I have a feeling that I made a wrong move because she hasn't responded to my texts after that.
What should I do? How do I comfort her? I'm not very good at comforting people but she's my best friend and I want to help her. Our friends have pretty much been saying the same thing as me but I'm not sure how they put it into words.
Any advice would be appreciated :')
Sometimes being a friend means being the one person who will just comfort someone when no one else will. But other times, being a friend is saying the hard stuff that isn't being listened to from anybody else. Tbqh, I think you said what needed to be said. Don't go back on your word. Just reach out again and gently explain some more (I'm really sorry; I know you wanted this to work out, but it's been years and he's never shown any interest, and there's just honestly so many better things and people out there for you). Tell her that you're thinking of her and you want to be there for her, but you understand she needs some time to accept what's been a long time coming and that you'll be waiting when she's ready for a friend again.
Ominous Clouds wrote:[color=]I think someone i know likes me - I constantly see him staring at me, and he's always starting up conversations with me. Just recently, he's started sitting at my lunch table. The thing that confuses me, though: he has a girlfriend.
Once, I asked him why he rarely hangs out with her and he just said, "It's awkward." And apparently, his girlfriend doesn't really like him, and according to my friend, "Forgot," that they were dating. The funny thing is, he's always hanging out with me without his girlfriend; once, when it was raining, he asked me to hold his hat for him and keep it dry, despite the fact that his girlfriend was standing right in front of me. I don't want to interfere with their relationship, I'm just really confused
What should I do? I don't really like his girlfriend, as she can be a jerk, and I don't want her to get mad at me.[/color]
Deleted the color because it was a little much for the size of your post.
As you said, don't interfere. Make it clear he's a friend and act just like that. If he really wants to pursue something with you, he'll dump his girlfriend. If he's still with her, assume that he wants to be and leave it at that. I don't think you need to do anything specific unless he does (such as if he makes a move, you tell him that you know he's in a relationship and you're not okay doing that). (And honestly, if he waits to hear you'd be willing to date him before breaking up with his girlfriend, then he's not worth your time. If he's not willing to take a chance, he's not that into you.)
enthusiiast wrote:-snip- His brother ALSO got in touch with me again, since I even
distanced myself from him, but he mentioned SOMETHING like:
"My brother wants to be friends again." EVEN THOUGH I yelled
at him at some point, and ended up literally blocking him on
any big social media sites I use often.
Plus, he has been checking out my profile. USUALLY, he would
AVOID me, especially since he knows I'm kind of angry at him
for it. [On DeviantArt, he checked yesterday or the day before.]
Something like that.
His brother will not give me any reasons, which I might believe
could be my ex himself, OR he's literally trying to just avoid the
whole questions I asked him last night.
I honestly, don't know how to respond. What do you peeps think?
Am I overreacting and need to chill out?
Or do I seriously need to just, block him out the best I can?
You're allowed to feel how you feel. If you don't want to be friends right now or ever, that's your choice and it's fine, and he should respect that. You shouldn't have to tell him, but since he's not getting the picture, tell him (although I know it's hard to face someone) that you need space and you can't be friends and that he needs to back off. If you're ever ready to be friends, you'll reach out to him.
^PuppetMaster^ wrote:I'm in love with my best friend. Simply put, he helped me through the death of my little brother, the times I was so low in depression I forgot to get up out of bed, and prevented me from ending my very life. I love him, but he might be leaving, his dad applied for a job down in South Carolina, and that's pretty dang far from where we are now, he doesn't want to go, he knows I love him, but I don't know what to do. He's been the best to me, he's done so much, I know he'll only be a phone call away.. yet when I've talked to others that know about the situation, they tell me to seize the day, take the chance now before it might vanish for good. They want me to ask him out. It's been a year and a half since I've felt this way, but I still can't figure out what he really means when he says "I love you." I'm too afraid to ask, I fear it might leave us on slightly bad terms that can't be fixed over a phone call or a text message. I don't know what to do, do I sit and hide my feelings for good, or do I chance it and ask him how he feels?
That's my rant, sorry, people of this thread.
Only you can decide this. Good luck!
ᴄᴀɴᴅʟᴇs wrote:Okay, so.
I like my friend. We’ve been friends for 8 years, going on 9 this year.
I confessed my feelings towards him over text because we can’t see each other
right now. It was a little awkward but he said he’s fine with it.
We spoke about it but I’m not convinced he likes me, because I asked him if he
likes anyone and he said no. It still leaves me a chance but I don’t want to ruin
anything so I’m being extremely cautious on what I’m typing.
Should I ask him if we could catch up and talk about things face-to-face?
If you confessed to him and he didn't confess back (and told you he doesn't have any crushes), I don't think he's got a crush on you. I think it's a bad idea for you to get your hopes up trying to 'convince' him to like you back. I think if you want to pursue anything with them, you should focus on a friendship.