♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V5♥

[WastedSpace]

@WastedSpace
I am not balling my eyes out I promise :')
Your words are so beautiful, I cannot thank you enough. Your words
have helped me find my courage & I finally deleted him from everything.
You've really helped me out by telling me that my happiness does not depend
on it & telling me of my self worth ; v ;
Thank you so much, it really means a lot <3

If you're not crying, I'm definitely not.
I am so happy to hear this, and I'm so happy for you. I'm so proud of you. You did great. <3

ok so this isn't really about me but pshshhhh
so i am a tomboy.. already said on this thread,
but yeah, i am a tomboy. i make friends with
boys and they take it the wrong way. i sometimes
try to make friends with boys and they think i am
trying to date them, and they take it the wrong
way.
i don't really mind them asking me out, because i
am always going to reject. it's just the rejection.
they get really sad and our relationship, our friend
ship becomes really awkward! :c >,< i just don't know
what to do. i say no and yati my reasons and such.
our friendship is never the same. im scared as i cant
make friends with girls, i wont have any friends when
i move school.

One of my now-best friends didn't have many girls as friends in HS. I've known quite a few people who tell me they've always been wary of being friends with girls because "they're catty and love drama" and a lot of other not so nice things to hear. The common denominator with all of them was that they'd internalized a lot of misogyny. They had a hard time making friends with girls because girls picked up on this. They didn't really give girls a chance - they assumed it would end badly, so didn't reach out to girls like they did for guys. I'm not saying this is your issue. My sister, for examples, has always had trouble making friends - and in particular with girls. Part of it is because she is a lesbian and denied this for a long time. Part of that denial had her shying away from girls. But my sister is also a giant ball of anxiety. Having control helps her anxiety but it's also not too conducive to making many friends because she has a hard time compromising or doing an activity someone else suggests.

My point of all the above is that you might find more luck making friends with girls if you think about and analyze why that is. And if it's something you can address/work on, then you may be able to make friends with girls a little more easily.

Onto the issue with boys. Unfortunately, it's a common thing that a lot of guys just aren't taught that girls can be their friends (a lot of girls are taught that they can't just be friends with guys, too), and they pretend to be friends in order to get into a romantic/sexual relationship. So part of the friendship becoming awkward may be due to their inability to accept that they were enjoying having you as a friend. I just want to emphasize that this is not your fault. You just keep making friends. Eventually, you will find someone who realizes what a great friend catch you are, and they will nurture the relationship as much as you. You will find someone who is happy being friends.

Finally, moving schools is scary! Making new friends is hard! Something that can make this easier is joining some club or sport. Girl scouts, book club, mathletes, comic club, soccer, softball, etc. Chances are there's either some youth group or some school clubs or there's a community center that offers clubs/sports/games you can participate in. It can be easier to make friends through clubs like these because you're with people who have a similar interest as you and you're in a situation where it's natural to talk about that and end up getting to know each other. Good luck!

[tsuka]

So I'm wondering if this situation seems ok to any of you:

Me and my gf broke up in August but we've still stayed friends all summer. 2 days ago we had a sleepover. We held hands, got really close, we cuddled. It was perfect. Not really anything intimate but it felt really nice. She was honest and told me about how she doesn't like kissing. We didn't kiss but our faces got close. We talked all night and it was just perfect. I woke up and she was on her laptop, still staying next to me. I layed there with my head close to her. We aren't dating but does it seem like this is an ok thing to do with a friend?

[WastedSpace]

So I'm wondering if this situation seems ok to any of you:

Me and my gf broke up in August but we've still stayed friends all summer. 2 days ago we had a sleepover. We held hands, got really close, we cuddled. It was perfect. Not really anything intimate but it felt really nice. She was honest and told me about how she doesn't like kissing. We didn't kiss but our faces got close. We talked all night and it was just perfect. I woke up and she was on her laptop, still staying next to me. I layed there with my head close to her. We aren't dating but does it seem like this is an ok thing to do with a friend?

Every relationship is different. This is something you need to discuss between the two of you and decide. Is this something that both of you are comfortable with doing and labeling as a friendship? Great! If not, then you need to talk about some boundaries that you're both comfortable with.

[tsuka]

So I'm wondering if this situation seems ok to any of you:

Me and my gf broke up in August but we've still stayed friends all summer. 2 days ago we had a sleepover. We held hands, got really close, we cuddled. It was perfect. Not really anything intimate but it felt really nice. She was honest and told me about how she doesn't like kissing. We didn't kiss but our faces got close. We talked all night and it was just perfect. I woke up and she was on her laptop, still staying next to me. I layed there with my head close to her. We aren't dating but does it seem like this is an ok thing to do with a friend?

Every relationship is different. This is something you need to discuss between the two of you and decide. Is this something that both of you are comfortable with doing and labeling as a friendship? Great! If not, then you need to talk about some boundaries that you're both comfortable with.

She stated how she was comfortable with the state of our relationship, but she just wanted to be friends. Is it possible to love someone a lot but not in a sexual or romantic way?

[Firedancer77]

Hey guys. I'm looking for some advice & I kinda need to rant about a situation. I know I've posted quite a few times about it, but I would like to start from the beginning in explaining and it's rather long, so can someone shoot me a PM? I really would appreciate it.

ALSO, what do you do when a guy says that you never seem to notice the nice things they say about you, so that's why they tease you instead? He's my crush, and everyone I talk to thinks he likes me back. I do notice, however I don't have a ton of self-esteem and I'm an extremely anxious person, so I never know how to respond to the nice things. Help?

Can I get some help, mainly about the question? Although is someone wants to shoot me a PM over the first part, that's cool too. I'd appreciate either right now. c: I'm sorry I always post here, but I worry too much. ;-;

[WastedSpace]

So I'm wondering if this situation seems ok to any of you:

Me and my gf broke up in August but we've still stayed friends all summer. 2 days ago we had a sleepover. We held hands, got really close, we cuddled. It was perfect. Not really anything intimate but it felt really nice. She was honest and told me about how she doesn't like kissing. We didn't kiss but our faces got close. We talked all night and it was just perfect. I woke up and she was on her laptop, still staying next to me. I layed there with my head close to her. We aren't dating but does it seem like this is an ok thing to do with a friend?

Every relationship is different. This is something you need to discuss between the two of you and decide. Is this something that both of you are comfortable with doing and labeling as a friendship? Great! If not, then you need to talk about some boundaries that you're both comfortable with.

She stated how she was comfortable with the state of our relationship, but she just wanted to be friends. Is it possible to love someone a lot but not in a sexual or romantic way?

Yes, absolutely. You love your family in a platonic way, right? This does not have to apply just to family. Friends can and do love each other all the time. Friendships can be incredibly important. Just because society puts a lot of stress on ending up in a romantic/sexual relationship does not mean this should be or will be the "end goal" of every relationship, nor does it mean that your forged platonic relationships are any less important.

You should look up quasiplatonic/queerplatonic relationships. It basically came into existence for people who have very important friendships and wanted a word for how important these were to them. :3

Hey guys. I'm looking for some advice & I kinda need to rant about a situation. I know I've posted quite a few times about it, but I would like to start from the beginning in explaining and it's rather long, so can someone shoot me a PM? I really would appreciate it.

ALSO, what do you do when a guy says that you never seem to notice the nice things they say about you, so that's why they tease you instead? He's my crush, and everyone I talk to thinks he likes me back. I do notice, however I don't have a ton of self-esteem and I'm an extremely anxious person, so I never know how to respond to the nice things. Help?

Can I get some help, mainly about the question? Although is someone wants to shoot me a PM over the first part, that's cool too. I'd appreciate either right now. c: I'm sorry I always post here, but I worry too much. ;-;

Does the teasing bother you? I'm not really sure what kind of advice to give because I don't really understand the situation/what you need help with. Do you want to tease him back? Do you want him to stop teasing you? Do you just not know what to say either way? Do you not know how you feel?

Also, when someone compliments you, all you need to do is say "thanks" and accept the compliment. ;3

[/////]

God, I'm thinking that I will never find a girlfriend doesn't matter if it's online or in real life.):

[mossmuttz]

Haha, i'll never find a boyfriend. but, i have hope. thats all i need. I'm sure ill find the one, someday.
aha.

[eff]

ok so this isn't really about me but pshshhhh
so i am a tomboy.. already said on this thread,
but yeah, i am a tomboy. i make friends with
boys and they take it the wrong way. i sometimes
try to make friends with boys and they think i am
trying to date them, and they take it the wrong
way.
i don't really mind them asking me out, because i
am always going to reject. it's just the rejection.
they get really sad and our relationship, our friend
ship becomes really awkward! :c >,< i just don't know
what to do. i say no and yati my reasons and such.
our friendship is never the same. im scared as i cant
make friends with girls, i wont have any friends when
i move school.

One of my now-best friends didn't have many girls as friends in HS. I've known quite a few people who tell me they've always been wary of being friends with girls because "they're catty and love drama" and a lot of other not so nice things to hear. The common denominator with all of them was that they'd internalized a lot of misogyny. They had a hard time making friends with girls because girls picked up on this. They didn't really give girls a chance - they assumed it would end badly, so didn't reach out to girls like they did for guys. I'm not saying this is your issue. My sister, for examples, has always had trouble making friends - and in particular with girls. Part of it is because she is a lesbian and denied this for a long time. Part of that denial had her shying away from girls. But my sister is also a giant ball of anxiety. Having control helps her anxiety but it's also not too conducive to making many friends because she has a hard time compromising or doing an activity someone else suggests.

My point of all the above is that you might find more luck making friends with girls if you think about and analyze why that is. And if it's something you can address/work on, then you may be able to make friends with girls a little more easily.

Onto the issue with boys. Unfortunately, it's a common thing that a lot of guys just aren't taught that girls can be their friends (a lot of girls are taught that they can't just be friends with guys, too), and they pretend to be friends in order to get into a romantic/sexual relationship. So part of the friendship becoming awkward may be due to their inability to accept that they were enjoying having you as a friend. I just want to emphasize that this is not your fault. You just keep making friends. Eventually, you will find someone who realizes what a great friend catch you are, and they will nurture the relationship as much as you. You will find someone who is happy being friends.

Finally, moving schools is scary! Making new friends is hard! Something that can make this easier is joining some club or sport. Girl scouts, book club, mathletes, comic club, soccer, softball, etc. Chances are there's either some youth group or some school clubs or there's a community center that offers clubs/sports/games you can participate in. It can be easier to make friends through clubs like these because you're with people who have a similar interest as you and you're in a situation where it's natural to talk about that and end up getting to know each other. Good luck!

I used to be the kind of kid who was really shy, and so some girls wanted to be my friends. I was friends with them for years, but blindly was manipulated and talked behind my back. I am friends to about 3 girls, but that is a whole life time worth. To this day, they classify me as a "friend", but have always hurt me in many ways. I feel like that has triggered me into this thought on girls. When I moved school, I noticed many girls were exactly the same as what I had been bullied by. I made one friend at that school. But a majortity of my friends were boys, many of which had asked me out- our friendship was awkward from there.

[Firedancer77]

Hey guys. I'm looking for some advice & I kinda need to rant about a situation. I know I've posted quite a few times about it, but I would like to start from the beginning in explaining and it's rather long, so can someone shoot me a PM? I really would appreciate it.

ALSO, what do you do when a guy says that you never seem to notice the nice things they say about you, so that's why they tease you instead? He's my crush, and everyone I talk to thinks he likes me back. I do notice, however I don't have a ton of self-esteem and I'm an extremely anxious person, so I never know how to respond to the nice things. Help?

Can I get some help, mainly about the question? Although is someone wants to shoot me a PM over the first part, that's cool too. I'd appreciate either right now. c: I'm sorry I always post here, but I worry too much. ;-;

Does the teasing bother you? I'm not really sure what kind of advice to give because I don't really understand the situation/what you need help with. Do you want to tease him back? Do you want him to stop teasing you? Do you just not know what to say either way? Do you not know how you feel?

Also, when someone compliments you, all you need to do is say "thanks" and accept the compliment. ;3

The teasing doesn't bother me at all. I suppose I just don't know how to respond either way, or when he apologizes for teasing. I don't feel bad, so I don't know how to respond to it. And thank you. I tend to forget all you have to do is say thank you.