The Worst Username, Willow, nonbinary (they/them)
Personality
Willow is a soft-spoken Sheer, always fading into the background. Most other forget that they exist at all. Willow can be a bit of a drama queen, but, to their credit, they don't cry easily. They have a tendency towards mood swings and acting crabby.Willow is decently smart and kind too. Willow likes hiking, looking at nature, and swimming. They also have a few odd quirks: chewing on staples, collecting different kinds of dice, and sleep-walking.
Most of all, though, Willow stands out due to their beautiful paintings and wood carvings.
Extra (writing, sorry that it's messy and not revised)
My knees buckle under me, my heart thumps in my throat, I feel almost dizzy as the judge walks past all of the paintings in the gym. The judge is an old Sheer with a hunched pack, long grey wool, and a pince-nez framing his cloudy blue eyes.
I look back at my little landscape painting, the pretty piece I entered into this competition. It’s a watercolor landscape with big mountains fading into a purple sky, hills in the foreground, and tiny wolves running among flowers in the midground of the painting. I think it’s pretty, but is it good enough? Am I good enough?
“And…congratulations, Veronica! You are the winner! Please take this trophy and here’s a check…” the judge says. I swallow. I’m dizzy.
I just lost. What do I say? What do I do? My mind comes to a blank, and the world softens at the edges. The entire world has collapsed on me, but at the same time a huge weight has been lifted from my body. My knees nearly fail.
As the contestant three places down from me, a purple fawn with an obnoxious smile, runs away from her oil painting towards the judge, an ugly feeling punches me in the gut. I don’t notice my jaw falling a bit as my mouth moves in shapes. I try to form words, yet only small gurgles come out. “Beg your pardon, mister stupid pretentious pince-nez?” my words finally come and evolve from a soft murmur to a barely audible snarl. Now the feeling is here: failure, failure, failure. The mix of anger and sadness and the I’m not good enough feeling that all combine into a sudden urge to cry.
“I put so, so, so much effort into this. I spent hours on my painting. I looked at tutorials online, I asked my friends for critique, I took out the special watercolors I only use for very important occasions, I…” I murmur. If I talk loud enough, I’ll start crying.
The failure-feeling grows at the back of my mind. So do the sobs that slowly build in the back of my throat and threaten to rip out of me when I least expect them. Suddenly I’m gurgling, heaving, blinking back tears as I try to push the sobs down. I don’t cry; I never cry. But she put no effort into this, and I did! It’s not fair! I spent hours! “Hours! Hours…” I murmur even more.
Anger begins to surface. I almost shout, I almost yell and rage and punch pince-nez judge in the face. I almost run and put my hoof right through Veronica’s dumb still-life painting of a stupid orange. But I just can’t. I stand still like an idiot as Veronica starts chatting.
“Thank you everyone for being here, I really appreciate it! I’m so happy, oh my god!” Veronica’s eyes are bright. She clutches the little trophy close to her chest, and my heart clenches. That should be my trophy. Sitting on my shelf with all of my art trophies because I am a good artist. She is not.
I pick up my tiny watercolor and walk across the school gymnasium. I pass the other losing contestants still standing in front of their art. Bright lights flash in my eyes from the ceiling. Some of the other losers—not runner-ups, just losers—have already gotten up and dragged themselves across the shiny floor out the double doors, disappearing into the dark night outside. Probably going home to rant about this with their friends.
I arrive in front of Veronica. She smiles at me. Even though my lips are knitted together and I choke my tears back in my throat, she smiles up at me. She’s just a year, maybe two younger. The anger fizzles out. Why did I ever think of hurting her?
Failure still burning at my mind, I pull my lips into a small smile. My voice is weak as I utter one word: “Congratulations.”
Veronica cocks her head dumbly at me. “Oh, thanks! That’s pretty too,” she says as she gestures to my painting. Without another word, she bounces off out the doors of the school where this stupid contest is being held.
I look down at my watercolor as failure and my anger at her and my sadness all bubble to my lips, my eyes. I stare down as the silent tears fall on my cheeks and strangle another sob in my throat.
I walk ever so slowly towards the door with my painting held tight. Everything fades out of view as the sobs and chants of “failure” in my head become loud enough to consume me. I stand just outside the gym doors, just stop and drop the watercolor to the ground. The pretty little landscape painting flutters to the gray tiles. I finally let out that sob and drop my head down, back hunched over like that of the judge.
In a sudden spurt of anger I stamp my hoof into the painting and mash, mash, mash, dashing the painting across the tile. Various torn bits of green spread just across the ground under the water fountain. The sobs rip out of me and I spit on the green bits, cry onto them, cry like the failure I am.
Without a word, I turn around and walk slowly towards the door. I let the night air hit my cold tears as the sobs burble and gurgle out of me. I take one look back to the highschool with my stupid painting in pieces on the ground.
I turn back. I start walking. Already, it’s time to move on.