Okay, so here we go! I'm going to give the critique/feedback in order in which the forms were posted and then at the end, I shall announce the winner! :3
Just so you all know, I did bring in a guest judge because after going through all your forms, I had a really hard time deciding and needed a second opinion before I made my final decision.
Septiplier Trash wrote:♣ Username ♣
Septiplier Trash
♧ Zver's Name ♧
His name is Seán, or Seaghán, if you prefer to see it in its pre-1950s form.
Both forms are pronounced as 'Shawn' in the English language.
♣ Gender ♣
Seán considers himself to be a flamboyant boy.
♧ Biologic Gender ♧
Seán is a male.
♣ Story ♣
Seán loves St. Patrick's Day. However, it's never been for the tales of leprechauns or the searches for pots of gold. Seán travels to as many towns, cities, and farms as possible on this glorious day. You just might want to know why. Seán travels all over the world to make people happy and to give them unique treasures. He believes that if everyone in the world has something unique and special to hold on to, that they can always be happy. It seems to be like how a young child favors a certain stuffed animal, and carries it with them wherever they go. If someone were to loose their treasure, no matter what time of year, Seán would be there to retrieve and return it as quickly as possible.
♧ What objects does this Zver hoard? ♧
Seán hoards, or collects, different kinds of minerals. These minerals include gems and rocks of all kinds and textures. He tries his best to find minerals that don't resemble any he's found before, and he admires them for their unique and beautiful appearances.
Your form is absolutely lovely very festive and yet had so much untapped potential! I loved the name that you chose, it seemed so very fitting for this Zver, however I found the story was slightly lacking in detail. If you had been more detailed about the background of this Zver and why he loves St. Patrick's Day (let alone came to learn about our Earthly holiday) and also keep it true to the history of the Zvers, it would have been absolutely wonderful! If you'd also gone into why he feels the need to make others happy and to give them unique treasures, that would have been marvelous as well!
Both myself and my guest judge thought that your form was charming, especially how the way that the Zver thinks and his somewhat childlike views and idea of trying to make everyone in the world happy. It was a very sweet concept and I think that given a chance/more time, you could have done great things with it!
So your main problem is that you weren't detailed and didn't include a background that fit in with the history of the Zvers as well as include one of the points which I In future contests, I would strongly recommend that you be as detailed as you possibly can be (within the limitations of the contest). Details are always great to have and allow for judges and other users to see into the mind of the character and know what motivates and inspires them to do or act the way that they do.
Snow Fox wrote:Username:
Snow Fox
Zver's Name:
Trifolium (means clover in Latin )
Gender:
female
Biologic Gender:
female
Story:
When Trifolium was young. She always played by her self. Their were other young Zver to play with,but she found no point in playing with them. She was content with gathering stones of verity of colors to arrange in any way she wanted. She also loved to go explore and collect clovers. The others thought she was just odd. After some time they just got use to her being quite and her wondering off. Her parents did not mine as long as she was happy doing what she wanted. One day though she wondered to far and got lost. Trifolium did not know the way back to the others. She found a small meadow with several patches of clovers and a small creek running thought it. There was an old fox den in the meadow as well. This where her new home was and she liked it a lot. There where rocks in the creek and a lot of clovers. Plus the old fox den could be used as shelter if it rained or in bad weather.
What objects does this Zver hoard?:
She loves to hoard clovers, books she finds in old campsite, Jews and metals that she fines in the creek. (The Jews and metals were the colorful rocks she liked to collect.)
I have to say that your form was quite nice to read, the name was quite interesting and the story was quite nice. However, like the other contestant, your form is also lacking in details. Your story also was not true to the history of the Zvers, if Trifolium's parents were escapees from a lab or just Zvers that had managed to evade capture by the scientists after the crash, they would not be complacent with allowing her to wander off. They would be afraid that she'd be snatched up by the scientists or anyone else who might be working for them.
So your main problems are that you need to be more detailed as well, make sure to incorporate/keep in mind the history of the species when applying, and also make sure to spellcheck your work. You had a great many spelling errors or wrong words going on, I don't know if you were on mobile and autocorrect was being a problem, but it was really awkward to read that she collects Jews. X3 I know you probably meant jewels, but it was quite distracting to see a different word there. Also, the story sounded quite incomplete, I was left with a sense that you had more to write and didn't write it.
Architeuthid wrote:Username
Architeuthid
Zver's Name
Freya
Gender
Female
Biologic Gender
Male
Hoards
Any clovers or clover-like plants
that have more that three leaves.
They remind her of herself...a
mutation, often sought after,
rarely seen.
Story
Freya ran, panting, away from the town, her teeth biting into the black plastic cauldron.
It curved around under her jaw, scraping against her neck as she bounded into the woods.
Hopefully no one saw her steal the pot from the weird tiny green statue of a human. Just
in case, Freya ran farther into the forest. She stopped by a stream, and dropped the pot
so she could lap up some cool, fresh water. A brilliant patch of green caught her eye.
Freya walked over to it. As she looked closer, she saw that the green patch was made
up of small, three-leafed green plants. She caught a sharp, crisp scent with her sensors.
Freya suddenly noticed that one of the plants had four leaves instead of three. Carefully,
she nipped the plant off of its stalk. Wondering where she should put this oddity, she
glanced around the forest. Her eyes settled on the black plastic pot, which was laying on
its side. Freya padded toward it, knocked it upright, and dropped the plant in the pot. She
very carefully picked the pot up again, and walked away.
Though your story was short, I loved how detailed you were and how I'm instantly flung into the action and painted a rather detailed scene. I especially loved how you even went into how Freya obtained the cauldron, which was something that I was really hoping to see contestants pick up on and include int their forms. I would have loved to have seen more to this story, I feel as if it has such wonderful potential!
I'm a bit iffy on telling you whether you needed more details or not since it can be some-what inferred that she's running away from the labs due what you said in the Hoard section, however, not saying who or what exactly was chasing her did add to the mystery and the suspense. I think one of your problems is that for the story, you sort of lost momentum at the end. X3 All sense of urgency that she used to have is lost when you say that she walks away after collecting the plan and putting it in her pot. So continuity might also be a problem, but otherwise, this was a great story and I really enjoyed reading it! :3
Alright! That's all the feedback! Now onto what you've all been waiting for....the results! First off, I want to tell you all that this was an extremely difficult decision to make because it came down to just two forms that I really loved. They were both quite different from one another and were each just as worthy of winning as the other. I think though that I have finally come to a decision. So, without further ado...drum roll please....
....
....
Congratulations
Architeuthid! Freya is yours! I hope to see you actively using this Zver and to see them around the fanclub and I'd especially love to see any art that you ever get or make of them! :3 I hope to see you love this Zver as much as I loved designing it!
But wait! There's more! *insert Billy Mays here* X3
I have decided to give up my third and final guest artist Zver design slot in order to be able to give the other worthy user a Runner up!
However, this comes with a slight string attached, which I know that I can't really force on the user or anything.
However, I would like for this user to keep in mind a few things before accepting this opportunity to get a RU:
1) I would very much like to see them be active with the RU Zver and see them become a part of Zver community since we would very much like to see the community to grow, which is why I'm opening up this opportunity.
2) I'm putting a great deal of faith in this user because this RU will likely be my last Zver design that I will ever make, so I want to see it loved an used.
3) I will be allowing this user to make decisions on the appearance of the RU (mostly eye color and "beard" color)
4) I have yet to experience the joy of getting to see any of my designs being well loved. I haven't seen or heard from the winners of other Zvers that I have design and I really want to see at least 2 of my designs being actively used and loved.
If this user doesn't think that they could be a part of the community or doesn't wish to be a part of the community, I would like for them to be honest with me on this matter before either accepting or rejecting the RU.
So, now that I've gotten that out of the way, it's time to move on to the announcement of the winner of the RU!
Drum roll please...
.....
.....
Congratulations to
Septiplier Trash!
I was honestly torn between your form and Architeuthid's. Your forms were so different, yet magnificent in their own ways. In your form's own right, it was great even though it didn't really go much in depth into the Zver's background. I know I didn't really ask for background, I asked about what the Zver was up to, but it would have been a great insight into the Zver if you had included it.
If you are willing to accept my offer of a RU, please post here saying what color you'd like the eyes to be and the color of the "beard" you'd like it to have.
Congratulations to the both of you and I sincerely wish everyone the very best of luck in all your future endeavors trying out for Zvers! :3
