TheComfortCorner | v.6

[Herlock Sholmes]

i hate being temporary

I don't get it

[idiosyncrasy]

this one is stupid
but the main problem I want to talk about.. I just don't know how to word
so I'll go w/this one
I am super self conscious
it started more in middle school
seventh grade
I would get called ugly a lot by different people
and my "friends" would do nothing about it
they wouldn't even comfort me
like I can barely talk to them about anything because they'll either
disagree with me or roll their eye, stuff like that
anyway, sometimes I would even get interrupted in the middle
of a conversation w/someone just to be called "f**king ugly"
I didn't understand this crap
I hadn't done anything to anyone, especially not the people that bullied me
eventually I couldn't take it anymore
I hated my life
I wouldn't go out in public just so people wouldn't look at me
and when I did go out, some people stared and it made me feel really bad about myself
I would sob every night
finally my parents let me switch school
later on I found out my "friends" had become buddy buddy
with my old bullies
then I even got bullied at my new school, which I still attend...
for example, I got told I look like a pig
especially when I "laugh" which doesn't happen in the first place
I also just have a really ugly smile I hate it so much
I can't switch right now because my family can't afford it
I'm going to private school right now and they won't give us our money back(so soon the money will start having
to come out of the money saved for my future college)
everything is too expensive, so I can't get the right help
even if I do go to sessions w/a therapist
they're all the same, and they all say the same thing
I'm honestly not pretty really
even if some people tell me, I feel flattered, but the feeling goes away soon
and all of my other friends and these people are getting called beautiful
and gorgeous and it really hurts my confidence
I won't even take pictures with my family or friends in public
because I don't feel good about myself
...I took a picture w/my polaroid once and starting to cry so hard
because of how hideous I looked
I've changed my style, started buying makeup, changed my hair
basically everything but I'm still super self conscious
my parents don't understand and are constantly making me uncomfortable about it
in fact, both of my sisters have insulted my looks
even my 9 YEAR-OLD SISTER
she called me a hideous wolf in front of friends and family
it was so embarrassing and then our adopted cousin started laughing
and agreeing with her
I'm honestly afraid i'll never be happy in the future
and that no one will love me
I won't find love or anything because
no one will want to be with me because of
my awful looks.
I don't know what to do
and I'm starting to cry just typing this

Really?
Oh my god...
That's horrible!

You are a beautiful person, I know it
No, I'm not just lying to make you feel better

That's not okay if people do that
Especially if your family does it
You know this
I know this
We all know this

You need to stand up and tell them how you feel
Make them feel bad
Make them feel guilty
Make them truly regret it

You may be ugly on the outside
But your beautiful on the inside no matter what
Ignore them, because they're ugly on the inside
Which is the ugliest ugly

Keep being yourself and ignore them
I know, its hard
But you have to learn to stand up for yourself

I hope all goes well,
And that you have a great day

[.zombie]

some advice would be greatly appreciated.

i really want to get into a good college, and so far it isnt going well. I had all As and crap except one C last quarter, and im trying to get my grades up for this quarter as well. What freaks me out is that I have midterms. And I swear, I am going to fail the heck out of those tests.

Ever since about two years ago, when I was in middle school, my grades started plummeting. The problem? It was probably a mix of not knowing what was being taught and just going through puberty i guess.
I thought it was going to be a small phase, but it wasnt. And I hate myself for it. I was at the top of my class, now im somewhere in the middle of failing and barely passing. I just dont understand how other students are so smart. They juggle sports, school and social life in one sitting. I dont know what the heck is wrong with me. Yeah, I do admit to procrastinating, which is proabnbly why my grades started floppin around when they did, but my smarts,, are just gone??
to those who are at the top of their class- could you help a fellow classmate out? What is your secret?

[seventh scripture]

its just now coming to me that one day my loved ones will be gone
i mean, I've always known that, but
it just hit me hard that one day I'll have to be independent
nobody will be there to comfort me and
I dont know
ugh
why can't we live forever and all be happy

[joji]

wow im such a stupid person ,,
of course it wouldnt go the way you wanted idiot
why are you even crying its not that big of a deal
you're such an immature crybaby nobody likes

[-------]

this one is stupid
but the main problem I want to talk about.. I just don't know how to word
so I'll go w/this one
I am super self conscious
it started more in middle school
seventh grade
I would get called ugly a lot by different people
and my "friends" would do nothing about it
they wouldn't even comfort me
like I can barely talk to them about anything because they'll either
disagree with me or roll their eye, stuff like that
anyway, sometimes I would even get interrupted in the middle
of a conversation w/someone just to be called "f**king ugly"
I didn't understand this crap
I hadn't done anything to anyone, especially not the people that bullied me
eventually I couldn't take it anymore
I hated my life
I wouldn't go out in public just so people wouldn't look at me
and when I did go out, some people stared and it made me feel really bad about myself
I would sob every night
finally my parents let me switch school
later on I found out my "friends" had become buddy buddy
with my old bullies :/
then I even got bullied at my new school, which I still attend...
for example, I got told I look like a pig
especially when I "laugh" which doesn't happen in the first place
I also just have a really ugly smile I hate it so much
I can't switch right now because my family can't afford it
I'm going to private school right now and they won't give us our money back(so soon the money will start having
to come out of the money saved for my future college)
everything is too expensive, so I can't get the right help
even if I do go to sessions w/a therapist
they're all the same, and they all say the same thing
I'm honestly not pretty really
even if some people tell me, I feel flattered, but the feeling goes away soon
and all of my other friends and these people are getting called beautiful
and gorgeous and it really hurts my confidence
I won't even take pictures with my family or friends in public
because I don't feel good about myself
...I took a picture w/my polaroid once and starting to cry so hard
because of how hideous I looked
I've changed my style, started buying makeup, changed my hair
basically everything but I'm still super self conscious
my parents don't understand and are constantly making me uncomfortable about it
in fact, both of my sisters have insulted my looks
even my 9 YEAR-OLD SISTER
she called me a hideous wolf in front of friends and family
it was so embarrassing and then our adopted cousin started laughing
and agreeing with her
I'm honestly afraid i'll never be happy in the future
and that no one will love me
I won't find love or anything because
no one will want to be with me because of
my awful looks.
I don't know what to do
and I'm starting to cry just typing this

Look here.

You are an amazing person. You are beautiful, you are perfect, you are flawed -- but your flaws are absolutely gorgeous. Put on your strongest face and fight back, ignore them. You are so much more than that and you are an incredible person, and you are meant for the most amazing things. You will be happy and your time will come, and this will all pass. You are a goddess, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

The same goes to everyone else struggling with their appearance. All of you are beautiful people and there is no one in the world who can tell you no. If you want to be loved, you must be patient -- your time will come when it is right, and you will find someone who loves you. These kind of things never happen overnight and you're going to be just fine. Life is not going to be this way forever.

If you are struggling with these kinds of issues, including bullying, speak out. Defend yourself. Don't let people get to you and don't show people your hurt when they are administering it. Find someone you can confide in and talk to like family, friends, or a counsellor. Do not keep your feelings pent up and don't feel inclined to keep it to yourself. You are not a burden and you are not a waste or nuisance, and you are allowed to have a space to talk about your feelings safely and without judgement.

Keep your heads up and stay strong because you are amazing and somewhere you are loved.

[dogbrain]

anxiety. anxiety. crushing anxiety.
i seem to have nightmares about my boyfriend cheating on me.
i know for a fact he isn't, but my subconscious tells me otherwise.
yes, i am blaming it on my subconscious.
i never worry about it during the day unless i have a nightmare of it the night before.
i trust him, i love him, and i know he loves me... but my mind has a way with things.
it's also my dad's fault by saying that he was with another girl.
i just always feel like i am not good enough for boys, especially since i had a crush that ended in turmoil.
and years before that, i was told by many boys i was ugly or disgusting... or not their type.
how am i good enough for him? why now? why me? why him? he's my perfect type; how did it come to be?
what does fate has in store, or will it take him away like everybody else?

i never had any interest in boys, neither did they in me.
there has always been someone else with my friends.
someone better than me.
there are a lot of girls that are prettier than me.
why did he choose me?
i can't see why.
but, i am honored.
he is my first ever boyfriend, we almost are at a year together come the 13th of this month.

i love him and he loves me.
but, why does my self-esteem have to barge in and strangle me?
why does it do it? nobody can answer that.
why must i have trust issues? i know why, but ... why do i!?

[Swishy & Broken]

Ok, I know it's stupid. I know I'm stupid for my brain thinking like this.
But I was asking my mom what kind of computer she's looking to get me (seeing as she said way back in September that i'd be getting a new computer along with my new desk, which i still havent gotten) and she says "we might have to wait until taxes, i don't know how much my bonus check will be". That's totally understandable, but what isn't is how my body reacted. My heart broke, I was so excited to finally get to play my Sims 4 without it crashing, or to play my brand new Overwatch I got for Christmas just bc I knew I'd be getting a computer that can run it. I feel like crying, and I feel bad for wanting to cry. I feel like.. like I ask for too much and I take too much of everything all the time. Patience, money, time.. everything. Kids in poverty would be glad to have what I have, but I'm sitting her being a brat.

[aurora❅lights]

I'm in a bit of a pickle.
Okay, maybe more than just a pickle.
*sighs*
I have a fear of throwing up.
It's absolutely terrible to have
such a fear; I have to go through
everyday being nervous and
cautious about myself and everybody
around me.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
My grade is taking a bus ride to a completely different
state; as a field trip. Do I want to go?
Yes.
But the trip there is five hours long.
I can hardly make two hours without getting a damn anxiety
attack about whether or not somebody, or me, is going to throw
up.
My family hardly travels, which makes me have little to no experience with
long car/bus rides. The longest I've been on was like about 2- 2 1/2
hours.
This field trip is in May and I'm absolutely terrified.
I want to go but this fear...
It's making me rethink everything.
I really don't know what to do.
The only thing making me not want to go is the bus ride...
but I totally wouldn't mind being in a hotel with my three
best friends, experiencing new things, etc.
I'm scared because if I were to throw up on the bus, I would
completely break down and I would want to turn the whole
bus around and go home.
I'm just-
terrified.
I don't know what to do.

[.Ranger.]

Hahahahaha. That's the only way I can do it. That's the only way I can do it. I laugh. I LAUGH! I got accepted to college, applied to too many jobs, got nothing, and then next thing I know I'm the fault at fault! Lucky me wouldn't you say? It's always something with my dad. ALWAYS. Period. He treats my brother like the perfect son which isn't new to me. I'm totally used to it, when am I not? My brother does something worse than I and he gets nothing. Sometimes I'd get a tongue lashing or worse. I get I'm the oldest, but some of this has nothing to do with you! I try and I TRY. Then I just try to TALK to my mom and he yells at me. I need to go write and do a few YouTube videos before I start crying. I'll be able to move out in a year and a half. I just have to wait till next summer...whenever my freshmen year of college is over I can get out and never look back....

Sorry you guys, I just wanted to rant before I fall into my hole of anxiety and depression.