What does she protect? [7809 words] wrote:“Tell me -- don’t you ever want to change something you regret!?”
Evangeline’s hard stare had long since softened as she gazed at the desperate eyes of her latest visitor, a young viscet who had passed on after taking just one step too many in the darkness of the night. Though her physical body was not present, Evangeline could still see flecks of dirt adorning her dark brown fur where she’d collapsed in the chasm before arriving.
Honestly, she was never meant to be a mentor angel. Muriel and Raven were the best, the more sensitive or likable angels around, but there were so many souls entering the heavens anymore that every angel had to put in their due work to allow these poor individuals inside. She had tried being firm, but she had made the mistake of introducing her duty as an angel. “I am the Time Keeper of the heavens,” she had said, and thus, the conversation had twisted into ultimately what it always ended up as.
“Please. Please, just let me go back,” the viscet pleaded, and Evangeline solemnly shook her head. “I didn’t--I didn’t know it would happen this way!”
“You have made your choice,” she replied. “I cannot undo what has been done. You were given enough warning.”
“I just want to go home!!”
“You are home.” At the dawn of her creation, she had felt sympathy for these souls -- but no more. She supposed she empathized with them, felt their pain, but their call to the heavens had been answered by their own choices. No one got a second chance.
“Hey there, newbie. How about you come have a chat with me instead? Stiff-neck over here’s got work to do.” A new voice startled her, and she felt relief flood her fur as Raven nosed the viscet to her paws, urging her elsewhere. He flashed her a look - something that stunk of pity and sympathy for what she had to do, surely - and left with the brown-furred female, who glared at Evangeline before the pair were gone.
She liked Raven well enough; she supposed she respected him as well. She couldn’t recall the last time someone had outright rejected her offer to revisit their final moments -- even firmly. Their conversation had been brief and, honestly, a bit curt.
“I don’t want to see myself have to watch that kid die all over again.”He was an enigma, surely; so much so that Evangeline had observed his death on her own, startling her when the rocks that crushed both himself and another angel she had seen before - Sandalphon, it looked like - but he hadn’t died until the delicate stones adorning his tail and shoulders finally cracked and crushed under the weight of the boulders, almost like those were his lifeline instead of his actual body. And yet, seeing the pain in his eyes, like it weren’t the first time he’d seen death -- it gave her memories that shook her to her core.
“Maybe I should do it for you instead.” Another new voice. Evangeline’s ears twitched and she turned to see Sandalphon -- no, Yuri, she corrected herself (if a bit forcibly) -- sitting next to her, giving her a bit of side eye like he knew she hated having to herd in the new souls.
“Like”. She was sure it was obvious that she hated it.
“I doubt Muriel would let you. You’re such a basket case with your own problems that you’d just cry about it with the newcomers,” she replied coldly, closing her eyes and turning her head away. Just looking at him send shivers down her spine.
Still, he seemed unfazed by her words and instead stared at her quietly, like he knew something more. Of course he did; those disgustingly piercing eyes seemed to read every inch of her.
“What is it?” she snapped, and he shook his head before glancing into the distance. Evangeline knew as a mortal he had been meek, nervous and cowardly and stumbled over every word he said -- why was he so
different in this realm? Really, with her? It made her pelt prickle.
“Well-” A shrill ring swelled in the small segment of the realm, making Evangeline cringe softly, while Yuri simply twitched his ears and looked up. After a long, steady pause, he spoke once more.
“I have to go,” he said quietly. “Duty calls.”
...oh.
“Right. Off you go, then,” she replied, all too eager to get rid of him -- though she certainly didn’t feel very well with the reason being the arrival of a new soul who was far too young to be taken in so soon.
Yuri nodded and touched his nose to her shoulder softly before he made his way out. Finally, he was gone, and she was left to finally release a breath, her dried throat tightening. Her mind flickered back to the desperate cries of the viscet she'd turned away so coldly.
“I didn’t know it would happen this way!!”“Nor did I,” she said softly, ears pinned back against her head as her halos glistened, paws resting against the Pool of Memory before her. It was named quite simply, but it was a simple element of her line of work. Something the dead could gaze into to see any time of their life they wished any time they decided to reminisce, to grieve, or to regret.
Most days, Evangeline indulged in the latter.
Her jaws snapped shut as the Pool rippled without her consciously realizing she was activating it, shaking her head.
“Not today,” she whispered. “I can’t.”
But the Pool waited for no one once it began, and Evangeline’s grief-stricken eyes began to glow a soft white as it overtook her mind, throwing her back to her very first moments on Eterna’s mortal grounds.
--
The mortal world was so odd, really. The only things that seemed to matter to the peasant-like individuals walking such a ridiculous plane were food, water, and sleep. Perhaps shelter as well, but some creatures slept outright in the sun or rain or snow, refuting that idea almost entirely.
Within a day of her first Mortal-Realm Pilgrimage, Evangeline was intrigued. She hated the rain, the snow, the thunderstorms, the trees, the squirrels (
Gods, the squirrels -- dropping their stupid acorns where she tripped over them or skittering so quickly that debris caught in her fur) -- but there was nothing she could do to force herself to really dislike or fail to find interest in the realm of Eterna.
She much preferred the heavens, where business was orderly and ideal, and she could fuss over impressing the seraphim with her work ethic, but on the same coin, she found that mortals and their very different lifestyles were somewhat of an enigma to her. Definitely...something she wanted to learn from.
The idea of the Pilgrimage was a bit skewed to her; she was supposed to be an Angel of Time and Reflection, not one who processed souls, so she had not been designated to take part. She needn’t “feel empathy for the souls entering the heavens” or “understand the struggles they face on Eterna”, according to the higher angels, but she had wanted to see firsthand the daily struggle of these souls. She did want to feel empathy, whether the others figured it was “foolish and unnecessary”or not.
The first weeks of her physical existence on Eterna had been spent roaming aimlessly, absorbing every inch of land that her eyes could take in. It had been peaceful, exciting, and yet...lonely. She wanted to meet one of these mortals for herself. She was ready, surely.
Lost in the swarm of thoughtful ideas on how to befriend a mortal, she lost her footing while crossing a stream, and tumbled in -- teaching her the hard way how sensitive her physical body was.
The cold of the water seemed to seep through her bones as she fought to try and surface, her head rising above water for a split second before her body viciously tumbled down a slope of slick, algae-coated rocks, agony surging through her shoulder as something caught and dug in deep. Her jaws parted to yowl in pain, but water surged in and choked her, leaving her writhing and twisting as the stabbing pain grew worse, pulling and yanking so harshly that tears spilled into the freshwater as she tumbled toward the shore.
Her vision blurred as she gagged and tried to breathe, water still blocking her from air until she was shoved onto her side, vomiting nothing but water as paws shoved into her stomach. Was she under attack!? Would she lose her physical form so easily-?
Her vision stayed cloudy as she gasped and hacked for air, shuddering and trembling as a warm body covered her and pain wracked her shoulder once more, making a groan of misery tumble from her until it was over.
Finally, her adrenaline seemed to give out once the pain was gone, and she was swept under with a wave of unconsciousness.
. . .
Evangeline reawoke with a startled gasp, jostling to her paws before pain seared her shoulder and she stumbled, falling back onto her rump with a grunt. Wildly, she looked around, vision flashing before she spotted a purple shape hurrying toward her.
When paws pressed against her to try and ease her back to the bed, she lashed out, jaws snapping -- and the shape cringed and backed away quickly, giving the angel a moment to finally calm herself down. Panting, she looked around once more, panicked and angry.
“Where am I!?”
She stared at the other creature as she realized she stood in a small cabin, a fire crackling in the fireplace peacefully to heat up the chilly room. The purple-furred individual was...a female who looked to be in a similar age group as Evangeline’s physical form, her head down and ears pinned back as if intimidated.
The girl mumbled nervously while her braided mane fell before her muzzle, further swallowing her words -- before she repeated herself, looking up at Evangeline with uncertainty.
“M-my cabin..”
“I-I see.” Evangeline quickly tried to correct herself, tipping her muzzle up. Looking into her eyes, she couldn’t help but acknowledge her...beauty.
In the heavens, beauty was everywhere. Though simple, the vast space of white and brilliant light and even other viscets and beings were all beautiful, stunning works of higher power -- but this was the first time Evangeline had been taken by beauty of mortal standpoint. In fact, she lost her words for a moment, before she caught herself once more.
“I apologize for losing myself. What have you done to my shoulder? It appears…” She glanced down, studying the cleaned wound. Still, it was painful. “...decently dressed,” she decided to finish; she supposed it would be unwise to be so crisp and accusing toward someone offering hospitality. Not to mention how pitiful the poor girl already seemed to be. “What is your name?”
The other girl seemed taken aback by the way she was speaking (that, or perhaps she was being a bit overbearing with the questions..) but answered slowly, shifting her weight on her paws as if horribly nervous.
“M-my name is Evanlyn. And, um...I-I was fishing.” Her response was short, a little clipped, as if she’d cut herself off. She hesitated to continue, guilt flashing in her eyes. “M-my lure got caught in your shoulder. It twisted and cut you up when you started thrashing, and...I couldn’t just leave you when you blacked out.” Her ears twitched back. “I did my best to help. I’m sorry.”
Well, it made sense, then. Evangeline wanted to feel wrath for what had happened -- but mortals had no clue who or what she was. There was little reason to be angry with a misadventure that she had likely caused on her own in the first place. Besides, the poor thing appeared to be trying to feed herself...which…
“Very well. I should be the one to apologize to you, then,” she replied, bowing her head briefly. Evanlyn stared at her with confusion, and she continued in order to explain herself.
“I interrupted your attempt to sustain yourself. Had I not slipped upstream, this would not have happened,” she sighed. “Therefore, I cannot leave in good moral standing if I do not aid you in your next attempt first.”
Evanlyn cocked her head before shuffling a little more, ultimately shaking her head.
“No, that’s ok. I don’t mind; I like fishing,” she replied, but shrank back a little when Evangeline pressed forward.
“No,” she insisted. “I must aid you.”
“O-okay,” Evanlyn said quickly, as if she just wanted her personal space back. Evangeline, pelt ruffled, backed away again with a hint of embarrassment. Perhaps she
was acting overbearing. Then again, maybe it was that mortals seemed to be so...sensitive. At least, this one did. Evangeline wondered why.
“How will we perform fishing?”
“I-I can gather the things. Just, um...wait here.”
Evangeline’s ears twitched as she watched the other viscet go out the door, waiting with a twitch of her tail. A mortal experience...fascinating. Her heart leapt with excitement at the thought.
Once Evanlyn gathered the necessary materials for ‘fishing’, she led Evangeline to the stream once more and prepared two sticks with oddly thick and resilient strings. After a brief lesson on what to do, the two cast their lines and sat by the water in an awkward silence.
Surprisingly, Evanlyn spoke first.
“Um, who are you, anyway?”
Oh, right. She supposed she had to introduce herself at some point.
“I am Evangeline, the Angel of Timekeeping and Memory.”
She was confused when Evanlyn stared at her as though she were insane. What was so ridiculous about her title? In fact, it was noble. Something to be in awe of.
Evangeline found herself floundering to impress the girl, and as such, took it upon herself to explain her title and her existence as an angel, as well as how she’d found herself upon Eterna in the first place. Evanlyn had listened with a meek, yet evident gleam of skepticism in her eyes, but as soon as Evangeline revealed her wings and halos, that skeptic look had transformed into childlike wonder and fascination.
Evangeline’s heart twisted at the sight.
Their conversation turned into a back and forth multitude of questions between angel and mortal, discussing livelihoods, family, hobbies, whatever they could think of. Evanlyn had meekly asked, at one point, whether angels could have a love life.
“It just seems like a lonely life,” she had explained quietly. “I hate being alone. I can’t imagine what it must be like for you.”
Evangeline had even eased her way of speaking, finding it so much nicer to talk with a relaxed speech pattern versus the stiff-collar way angels spoke in the heavens; Evanlyn was certainly helping her find more things about mortals to enjoy.
Before either of them knew it, their quiet conversation had dragged into the early crest of sunset, the sky turning a low orange as their pile of gathered fish grew slowly, yet steadily. They had caught around five, which Evanlyn had remarked was too much -- but they had been too enthralled in talking to each other to really make the decision to stop until it was too late, anyway.
Evanlyn set the fire back on once they returned to her cabin, and while she cooked the fish, sending wonderful smells spiraling through Evangeline’s nose, she spoke softly.
“Where are you staying?”
“Nowhere. I live off of the land, as my pilgrimage instructs.”
“Well...you could stay here,” she suggested. “I like having a friend. It...it gets quiet.”
Stay with Evanlyn? But she was a stranger; they had barely known each other more than half a day at that point. Uncertainty glimmered in her eyes and she tipped her head.
“You trust me that much so soon?”
“I-I...I don’t think you’d hurt me,” she replied. “You would have done that earlier if you wanted to, right?”
Perhaps. Evanlyn’s eyes glimmered with what appeared to be hope -- and the loneliness that seemed to coat her very aura made Evangeline bend to her request far too easily. Honestly, she needed stronger self control than...this. But something about this mortal was just too enchanting to deny.
“...I suppose...I would be rude to reject the offer,” she conceded.
Perhaps she indulged herself a bit too much at how brightly Evanlyn’s eyes glimmered from her response.
Evangeline stayed for the next moon, learning more about Evanlyn’s lifestyle, her worries, her favorite things, her everything.
“What do you do, exactly? I don’t think you ever really explained,” Evanlyn remarked softly on one long trek in particular.
“I reside over the memories of the dead,” Evangeline explained. “I allow them to revisit their decisions and reflect.”
“Can’t you allow them to change those decisions?”
“Technically...I suppose I could.” Her eyes closed. “But I am not permitted to do so. I took this pilgrimage specifically to try and develop a sense of empathy for those souls, as a matter of fact. I fear I may be too...unresponsive.”
“O-oh, okay. Do you think I’m helping..?”
“...yes. I would say so.”
By the day, she grew more captivated in everything about her. The way her mane flicked over her muzzle, the way she tilted her head when she was curious about something, her laugh -- oh, her sweet, blissful little laugh -- she was enthralled.
But she had to return home.
A week before she would be permitted to stand on the soils of Eterna, Evangeline sat with Evanlyn snuggled in her bed, eyes closed as her muzzle pressed against her friend’s flank.
“Have you ever seen my father?”
“Your...father?”
“His name is...was...Yuri. When he died, I...I didn’t want to be with my family anymore.” Evanlyn cringed softly. “I-I wanted to keep my other father company, but...he had my little brother to take care of, and he was always s-so...sad. I couldn’t take it. Now, I just miss them. I miss my family so much.” She shook her head and shut her eyes, ears pinned against her head.
“Could you not return to them? It appears you weren’t cast out. I’m sure your father would be glad to see you again.” This could be good; Evangeline would feel less guilty about leaving if Evanlyn went back to her family. "But to answer your question...no. I haven't met an individual by that name."
“I...I see. Well...even if I wanted to find them by now, I couldn’t. I know my father wanted to move far away from our old home after that,” she mumbled. “I don’t know where they’d go.”
“I can help you,” Evangeline declared without thinking. “We’ll find them together.”
“What? Really?” Oh, no.
“Of course.” Gods,
no. What was she thinking?
“Th-thank you. Thank you so much, Evangeline.” Her ears twitched as Evanlyn sighed pleasantly, nuzzling into Evangeline’s mane.
Evangeline spent the night wondering just what she’d done to herself.
Throughout the week, Evangeline couldn’t help but pray that they would somehow catch a trace of Evanlyn’s family soon.
Of course, they didn’t. They’d barely trekked from the center to the eastern lands of Evanlyn’s home country by the time the eve of Evangeline’s departure arrived, when they huddled together by the campfire as the chilly air bit into their fur.
“I’m sorry we are unable to find your family,” Evangeline sighed. “I can’t imagine where they’ve gone.”
Evanlyn simply shook her head, smiling as she pressed against Evangeline. When had friend become so unabashedly close and affectionate, Evangeline wondered distantly as she nosed into Evanlyn’s mane, eyes closing as the other female began to speak.
“I’m just happy I’m not alone anymore,” she murmured softly. “I hope this never ends.”
Evangeline lifted her head, guilt twisting in her chest.
What am I going to do?“It has to,” she blurted out, unsure of how to handle such a delicate situation. “I can’t stay here forever.”
“What?”
“I’ve been ordered to return at sunrise.”
“B-but...you told me you’d help me find my family. Was that a lie?”
Hurt glimmered in Evanlyn’s eyes and she pushed herself to her paws, staring at Evangeline with disbelief. Nothing accusatory; Evanlyn had always been so soft and peaceful, so delicate -- no, her words rang of confusion. Evangeline felt purely foolish.
“I-...no. No, it wasn’t a lie. I’m sorry.” She shook her head, ears pinned back. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay with you, but I can’t. I have a duty to carry out,” Evangeline explained, her voice pleading. “I want you to understand.”
“I know,” Evanlyn said quietly, shuffling her paws. “I know it’s important. You can go. I-I know we’re only a day or so from the next village.” She refused to look at Evangeline, and the angel’s heart twisted. “I’ll be ok.”
“No, you won’t be..”
“I will. I’ve been alone before.” Why was she pushing herself away so easily? Evangeline was angry for a moment, before she realized Evanlyn wasn’t being careless.
Did she think she was less important to Evangeline than her position?
“No, I'm sorry. I won't leave you so soon.”
“But you have to,” she pressed. “Don’t you have a job to do?” Evangeline cringed at her words, knowing that she was right. But how could she just leave her like this now?
I’m such a fool. Why did I let myself grow so close to a mortal?“I don’t have to go back.” Her chest twisted. Abandon the heavens? Was that something she truly wanted to do?
On one paw, there was Evanlyn’s sweet smile, her delicate laugh and the precious way she nestled into Evangeline’s fur while she slept. On the other...there lay her livelihood, her purpose that she had been raised to understand and accept since her creation. Her entire existence had been built around her duty in the heavens. But…
“I won’t let you stay here.” Delicate Evanlyn’s voice had taken a firm tone, staring into Evangeline’s eyes with a hard gaze. “I know you can’t just say no and stay here without something bad happening. I’m not that important.”
“But you are to me!!” Evangeline cried. “How could you allow me to be so cruel to you?”
“Because it would be selfish, wouldn’t it? Leaving them for me?” Her eyes glimmered with pain, but earnest understanding. “They need you. Every angel is needed in heaven,” she said quietly. “You’re one of the most important angels they have.”
“But I…”
Evanlyn gingerly touched her nose to Evangeline’s, her eyes glowing with affection.
“...I understand. Go home, ok? I’ll find my family.”
The sweet touch of her beloved sent chills down her spine, and her eyes shut with pain as she nuzzled into her fur, whispering, “I’ll return to you. I’ll find a way.”
…
Evangeline returned to the heavens before Evanlyn awoke that morning. For the remainder of the moon without her, Evangeline was miserable, watching her every step from the heavens. Every slip, every foul bit of food eaten, every rude traveler she came across -- anything unfortunate had anxiety crawling up her spine as she watched her beloved do her best on her own, until eventually it began to conflict with her work.
“Evangeline.”
“Madam.” Evangeline jerked to sit up stiffly, eyes lifting from her cloudy perch to rest on the blue-furred form of Muriel.
The other viscet sighed softly as she approached the angel, cocking her head with half-lidded eyes.
“What’s gotten into you? You were a gifted student before you took the Pilgrimage. Now you sit and mope on the clouds all day; haven’t you seen the lines of the dead waiting to see their pasts? They have to move on,” she pressed gently. She hesitated before she added, “...
you have to move on.”
Evangeline tossed her head forth as if to refocus on her job at hand.
“Of course,” she replied stiffly. “I apologize, Madam. I will get back to work straightaway.”
“Evangeline…”
“Pardon me, but I must return.” Her voice was cold as she moved back to her station and the Pool, where the next soul lay in wait for their revisiting.
She hated this duty now. It was so, so hard to tell these poor viscets no; so many of them were like herself and Evanlyn, helplessly separated from one another because of a small detail. Most days, she was nearly swooned, if not for Muriel or a higher being not keeping watch over her to step in before she could act out of line.
It was so frustrating; if she had been blessed with the power to twist the past, why was she refused the allowance to use it!?
Not only that...it was no secret that she had grown fond of Evanlyn. Everyone in the heavens knew. So why was she not able to return? Surely, that would aid her in returning to her proper duties once more -- and yet, she had not been given permission to return.
As the days dragged on, her mind twisted insistently, until one statement made her slip out of the heavens when she was left without work for the day:
No one has told me not to.“Evanlyn.”
“...mmn..” The viscet shifted in her makeshift nest, sleepily blinking her eyes open. “...what…?”
“Evanlyn!”
She startled awake, staring up at the newcomer with shock in her eyes.
“E-Evangeline..!” The violet viscet remained frozen for another moment before she shot forward and nuzzled into her angel, utterly thrilled to see her once more. “I never thought I’d see you again!” Her voice shook weakly against Evangeline’s fur, making the latter’s ears flatten with guilt.
“I promised you I would return,” she replied gently, nosing into her mane and breathing in her soft, delicate scent. “Are you fit to travel?”
“Y-yes. I tried to keep going, but...it was too hard on my own after the first few days, so I...I just made a new home here.”
Evangeline shook her head softly, touching her nose to her forehead.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t return sooner,” she murmured. “We’ll keep moving forward little by little, starting tonight. I can only remain until dawn.”
“O-okay. The sun only just went down,” Evanlyn replied softly. “We can talk and press on until then.”
“That sounds lovely to me.”
They only had a pawful of hours to trek together once they had gathered Evanlyn’s things, but they certainly savored what little time they did have to share time. By morning, they had neared a port -- one that had been spoken of during a questioning about Evanlyn’s family. The old viscet that had spoken with them had specified a blonde viscet and a small viscling with a ‘funny-looking tail’, which had made Evanlyn’s eyes brighten with hope. They had not yet found where they may have been going, but Evanlyn apparently had her own idea.
“We’re going to find them,” she said eagerly. “I-I’ll wait for you to come back, ok?”
“I know we will.” Evangeline touched her nose to Evanlyn’s ear softly, smiling at her love with shared excitement. “And good. I don’t want you to travel alone; it’s dangerous,” she added carefully; she didn’t want Evanlyn to think she saw her as fragile, but she did want her to understand the danger of being alone in such a vicious land.
“I know. I love you,” Evanlyn said softly, and Evangeline’s heart soared.
As she faded back into her heavenly home, she murmured her own answer blissfully.
“I love you, too.”
For the following few months, it was fine.
Evangeline had often been scolded for slacking in her work, but no one had known. At least, that was what she figured; Muriel’s soulful stares during their conversations had been unnerving, but there was no way she could have known about her trips to see Evanlyn.
Right?
“Evangeline.”
“Y-yes, Sir.” Before her stood one of the most prominent seraphim known to the angels; Lucifer, one who had domain over nearly all of the angels in her sector of the heavens. Even his presence was enough to make her tremble beneath her fur, his piercing red eyes locked into hers. What if
he knew?
“Your position is one which commands respect and discipline,” he remarked, his voice deep and enthralling -- one that demanded fully listening ears. “I must request that you allow me to observe your duty in full.”
“O-observe? Why, I...I..” Oh, no. She was
terrible at her job. What was she to do!? “Of--of course, Lucifer. It would be out of my place to deny you.” Evangeline bowed her head with flattened ears, panic pulsing through her fur.
A thoughtful hum left the seraph, and she swallowed hard. Oh, no.
“It appears you may be ill prepared,” he decided to say after observing her for an extended pause. “I will allow you another moon before I observe; I understand that this may be particularly...jarring. Does that suit your needs?”
A moon? Oh, good. She had a little more time to get her act together.
“Y-yes, Lucifer. I must thank you for your kindness.”
“No thanks are needed, Evangeline. Only a decent performance.” She inhaled softly, and upon the exhale -- he was gone.
She was left staring where he had once stood, swallowing hard as she rushed back to her post; she had to start working,
now. What would she do if she left a bad impression on such an important figure in the heavens?
All the while, the reminder that it was the eve of her half-moon visit was gone from her mind in a sheer rush of panic.
…
Evangeline made her way down to Eterna, guilt throbbing in her chest as her paws pressed into the soil an entire week later than she was meant to.
What would she say to explain to Evanlyn?
“Evanlyn?” She poked around where she’d last left her mate, brow furrowed as she soon realized that she was nowhere to be found. In fact, even her scent was stale by a few days, like she’d gone on without Evangeline. “I told you to stay put,” she sighed softly, though she felt quite guilty.
At least she had more than enough time now to find her. She couldn’t have gone too far on her own.
At least...that was what Evangeline had thought.
As the hours passed, her anxiety grew, and she remembered what she’d witnessed before she’d started visiting; rude travelers, odd foods that appeared dangerous that Evanlyn had nearly ingested numerous times…
She has to be okay.Throat tightening, she followed the weak scent of Evanlyn as she rushed forward, ignoring the droplets of rain that began to fall from the sky and into her fur, chilling her to the bone with each crash of icy water.
Please, please, be okay. Evangeline pushed forward with the image of her soft-spoken mate in her mind, utterly frantic to try and find her by the time the moon had fully risen.
Throat tightening, she followed the weak scent of Evanlyn as she rushed forward, ignoring the droplets of rain that began to fall from the sky and into her fur, chilling her to the bone with each crash of icy water.
As the rain intensified, Evanlyn’s scent trail faded, until finally she was left without a trace.
“
No!! No, where are you!? Evanlyn!!” Evangeline cried, looking around wildly. Was she okay? Had she found shelter?
"Evanlyn!!"“Evangeline.” A familiar voice sounded in her ears, and she froze.
“M-Muriel?” she whispered. Oh, no. No, no, no, she couldn’t be pulled back now.
“Northeast. She’s fallen into a ridge.”A mixture of shock, relief and panic hit Evangeline all at once; she couldn’t believe Muriel was helping her, but she was glad to know she could find Evanlyn now. And yet --
fallen. She swallowed hard and hurried toward the slope she’d been directed toward, paws splashing in the mud carelessly.
“Evanlyn!?
Evanlyn!” she cried, perking her ears against the harsh sounds of rainfall and thunder until a weak moan came through, catching her attention. “Evanlyn!”
She rushed down the slope and nearly tumbled until the mud-spattered form of her beloved was at her paws, her hind leg twisted at an unnatural angle. From the dull glow of agony in her eyes, she’d been there for a few days already.
“I’m so sorry,” Evangeline whispered frantically. “I didn’t realize -- I-I was-”
Evanlyn gazed up at her with weak delirium, as if her words weren’t even coming through to her anymore.
“Please, Darling,” Evangeline whispered. “I’m here. It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry, Evangeline. She was ill-fated the moment her leg broke.”“Sh-shut up. She's fine,” Evangeline spat weakly.
“You have to know that this happened for a reason. You cannot have a life in both --”“
Shut up!!” she roared, clutching her head with shaking paws. “Shut
up!! Get out of my head, you useless
wretch!!” Agony tore through her chest as Muriel finally silenced, a sob strangling in her throat as she pressed her muzzle into Evanlyn’s chest fur.
“I’m so sorry. I should have--I should’ve-”
Evangeline gasped and lifted her head, fresh tears in her eyes as she stared down at Evanlyn.
“I can still help you,” she whispered urgently. “I can reverse it. I can tell him no.” She was muttering to herself as she bowed her head, her eyes beginning to glow a soft white -- before pain pricked her paws and she snapped out of her magical trance, her heart nearly stopping as she stared into Evanlyn’s pained eyes.
Evanlyn retracted her weakly pricking claws and gazed up at Evangeline, her eyes hollow and dull -- but she still had enough strength in her to protest in soft, barely heard syllables.
“...h..home…” she rasped. “...g-go…”
Go home? But--
“No. I can’t.” Evangeline’s voice shook. “I can’t leave you. I’ll sit here with you, ok? We can wait until the rain stops, and then we’ll talk about it. I won’t leave again.” Her voice was cloaked with disbelief as she nestled into Evanlyn’s warm fur, inhaling shallowly and furiously attempting to ignore the harsh scent of blood and infection as she shut her eyes. She tried to ignore Evanlyn’s soft rasps for her to leave.
“Good night,” she whispered. “I love you.”
Evangeline should have known that Evanlyn didn’t have much time left. By the time she awoke, Evanlyn’s fur was as cold as the rain, and her breathing had ceased.
“No!”Her mourning was harsh, agonized, as she forced herself to her paws, tears thick in her eyes. She couldn’t look at the body without feeling sick; it was all her fault. She could have still been alive, full of life and happiness, that precious, sweet laugh of hers still singing in the air -- her jaws snapped shut as she pushed down another wail of agony, tears spilling and dripping down into Evanlyn’s soft purple fur. Her mind flickered back to her words the previous night, shaking and bowing her head. What did she mean?
Go home.But…
“She’s just arrived, Evangeline. You still have time with her,” Muriel whispered.
Her voice made Evangeline’s chest twist with bitterness, but it clicked when she spoke. Evanlyn’s soul went to the heavens!
“Okay,” she whispered.
I can still change time. I can still fix this!!Hope flared in her chest and she rushed back to the heavens, panting and looking around despite looking disheveled and shoving through angels carelessly to reach the hub for new soul arrivals. Her heart throbbed as she burst through, looking around -- before she spotted Evanlyn speaking quietly with Muriel, pain glimmering in the soft eyes of her love. But why?
“Evanlyn!” She pressed into her mate’s fur desperately, all too relieved when she felt her loving touch returned. Evangeline nuzzled into the purple-furred viscet’s mane with her ears flattened, glancing up as Muriel dipped her head and slowly made her way elsewhere. Odd…
“Evanlyn, I can still change time,” she breathed. “Did you make me wait so you could tell me what day you wanted changed? That’s fine. As long as we do it before you’re processed --”
“No.”
Evangeline froze, staring at her mate.
“I...what? What do you mean, no?”
“I don’t want you to change what happened.”
“Why?” Hurt churned into helpless disbelief.
Why not!? “Were you not happy with me?”
“Of course I was.” Evanlyn’s eyes softened as she pressed her nose to Evangeline’s shoulder, gazing up at her with love brimming in her eyes. “But I can’t let you do something that you aren’t allowed to do for anyone else.”
“But--but you’re an exception…!”
“I’m not. No one like me is more important than the delicate balance of something like this,” she said quietly, bowing her head. Fury sparked in Evangeline’s chest, and she reared her head up once more. “I...I can’t even reflect with you on memories. I’ll be assigned to a different angel for that.” It hurt Evangeline so badly to hear the way her voice sounded, to see the crestfallen way she looked.
“Muriel told you that, didn’t she? Don’t listen to her. I'll fix it. She’s-”
“What does it matter, Evangeline? I don’t want this!” Despair flooded Evanlyn’s eyes and she shook her head. “My father didn’t get this. His father didn’t, either. No one else has been given a second chance without deserving it for good reason, and I don’t. Not as much as someone else might. Please, just don’t. I couldn’t forgive you if you did,” she whispered.
“Don’t you realize that we’ll never see each other again?” Evangeline cried. “I can’t live without you -- not now! I love you!”
“I know.” Evanlyn lowered her head. “I know,” she repeated weakly. “I’m sorry. I never should have left without waiting for you.”
“It was my fault!! I--I never should have-”
“Don’t,” Evanlyn protested. “Please. Don’t blame yourself. It was my choice to leave the den.”
“But your family. Y-you--you’ll never..”
Tears welled in Evangeline’s eyes, and her jaws parted once more to speak -- before they were interrupted by a quiet angel, one Evangeline had seen around a bit but hadn’t spoken with much. He’d seen bits of his past with her before, as she recalled -- but none of that mattered to her at the moment.
“Excuse me,” he said quietly, nosing in as Evanlyn recognized him. “May I have a moment..?”
“Dad?” Evangeline’s blood froze as she stared at the newcomer, swallowing hard and backing away as he had requested. Her father was an angel?
This can’t be right. It couldn’t be. How could her father have gained the right to become an angel, but Evanlyn was forced to become one of the souls lingering in the heavens with no access for angels to reach?
Their quiet, grief-stricken yet happy voices were drowned out by the despair rolling through Evangeline’s head. What was she going to do now? She’d never see Evanlyn again after this brief meeting. What was there to say? A gentle nose touched her shoulder and soft words were spoken against her fur, but her bowed head paid it no mind for the moment.
By the time Evangeline had picked her words and lifted her head, Evanlyn was gone. Her heart twisted, and she stared numbly where her mate had been standing just moments before, never to be touched by such a soft, sweet soul again. Tears formed in her eyes in disbelief, and she felt suffocated as her throat tightened.
No. Please, please tell me this is a cruel dream. Please… A wordless noise left her throat and she shook her head, tears spilling as Yuri shifted and touched his nose to her head in a way so similar to Evanlyn that her head shot up with hope before it morphed into a furious glare, backing away from him.
“I just wanted you to know,” he said quietly, “I don’t blame you for what happened. I-”
“Who said I cared what you thought?” she snarled, lip curling aggressively at him as grief overtook her. How dare he!? She wasn’t groveling for his forgiveness. Not when she refused to even grant herself that. “Get away from me, and stay away!! You have no right to be speaking to be in such a pitiful tone, like
you lost anything--”
“I did!” The furious tone that sparked her ears halted the angels around them, leaving a few staring in utter shock at Yuri, who closed his eyes and turned his head slightly. “I did,” he repeated quietly, before he rose to his paws and left her there on her own.
Bitterly, Evangeline glared after Yuri, and at the angels whose stares remained, until she found herself fumbling back onto the plane of Eterna with one goal in mind -- to at least give Evanlyn a proper burial. Someplace where no mortal would find her and stain her blessed grave with their disgusting paws.
Driven mad, she collapsed onto Eterna, her mud-soaked fur plunged into a river similar to the one she’d first fallen into. But this time, there would be no Evanlyn to fish her out. There would be no cute smile to fall for, no sweet voice or delicate scent to bathe her nose in -- a sob choked in her throat and she clawed her way back to the ridge Evanlyn had collapsed in, breathing in her fading scent a final time as she choked out the words she’d longed to say.
“I’ll wait for you for an eternity if I have to.”Evanlyn had been correct about one thing; no one was a special case. No one deserved a second chance; if her beloved couldn’t be allowed that opportunity,
no one would ever fit that criteria.
No one would ever convince her that there was a life-granting decision worth changing, whether it be at the end of a blade or through a conversation.
And when Lucifer would come to observe her, she would be as crisp and as impassive as she could possibly be.
. . .
Evangeline snapped out of her haze, gasping as her tears splashed into the pool and made it ripple once more from the force. Her head bowed bitterly and her tail twitched, shaking her head as she turned away. It had been years since then. Surely she should have been over it by now; after so long, most angels would have forgotten such a thing.
But of course, Evanlyn was much more important than some small thing to lose track of. Evangeline remembered the peaceful, delicate grave she’d left for her after spending hours burying the body of her mate; she remembered the exact hill, the valley she had to pass to reach it -- the least bit of flight to perform in order to reach it. Untouched by the world, unseen by anyone but herself. Selfishly, she supposed, even her family would be unable to find it. But guilt still twisted inside of her at the thought; she knew that her family would have wanted to see her grave one final time, at least.
It would have been nice to see Evanlyn a final time, she often then reminded herself snidely.
When Lucifer had observed her performance, he had been impressed by her crisp and cool demonstration. He had heard she’d been lenient and had nearly given in several times -- but that Evangeline was dead and gone. She’d lost her sense of mercy and empathy for mortals; all they did now was make her
sick.
He’d been so reassured that she’d been relieved of all of her watchers, and was now able to do her work alone in peace -- which was fine by her. At least then, she wouldn’t have to pretend to be okay.
Her ears twitched and she didn’t notice the approaching viscet until she was being toppled over and her muzzle was shoved into the water, leaving her gasping for breath uselessly as she struggled and gagged.
What was happening!?
She fought and managed to throw off her attacker as she spat and reared up, coughing and gasping for breath while her eyes focused on the other viscet -- the female from earlier.
“You-?”“I asked you nicely. Since you won’t listen to reason, I’ll have to beat that decision out of you!” the female snarled, charging at Evangeline again -- but this time, Evangeline was ready.
The two tumbled and fought with snapping jaws and scratches across flanks, until finally the female had Evangeline pinned once more, panting and dripping blood onto her starlit fur.
“Just change it!” she snarled. “I need to go back to my mate!! He can’t raise our son on his own!”
Evangeline glared up at the female, cocking her head.
“And if I don’t?” she asked coldly.
“I’ll kill you.”
“Then do it.”
Maybe then, I can see Evanlyn again, she thought foolishly. Would angels be reborn, or would they be granted entrance into the soul realm? But...alas. It would never be so easy. “Who will grant you your second chance then?”
“I...I…”
Evangeline threw the brunette viscet off of her, snarling low in her throat.
“You mortals are so smug, aren’t you? Always thinking I’m some fairy who can grant you whatever little life-granting wish you want just because you made the mistake that killed you. Do you think I
want to be near you revolting pups who grovel and cry over your own stupid mistakes!?”
The viscet just stared past her as pawsteps approached, but she didn’t stop.
“You can be processed like the rest of the souls in the heavens, or I can cast you into the underworld for attacking an angel. Your decision,” she snarled. “I am the Angel of Timekeeping. I don’t bend it to my will for
anyone; it would do you good to get that through your thick skull the first time around, you
insolent child.”
“Alright, that’s enough.” Raven’s voice broke in and she glared over her shoulder before slinking back off to the Pool, letting him gather his student. “Stick with me, I said, but what does she do? Goes and pisses off the big-wig,” he muttered under his breath as he nosed the viscet to her paws, a crisp look in his eyes.
“One more slip up, and you’re gone. Okay?”
Evangeline didn’t bother listening to the rest, and didn’t budge even as Raven apologized and led the viscet out so she could be alone once more. She knew that he knew how vicious she became when she indulged in that cursed pool, and to know that someone understood her so well made her skin prickle beneath her pelt rather than feel any level of gratefulness.
Instead, she curled up, glaring down at the pool and trying to ignore just how close she’d come to death moments before. In fact, she didn’t regret any of it.
For the sake of her own sanity, she would protect the past with her own life.
And if she died doing it, perhaps one day she
would see the soft glow of Evanlyn’s eyes once more.
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