[Tereziisbestgem]

username: tereziisbestgem
kalon name: aries
tell me a joke: simba was moving slow
i told him to mufasa (im so sorry)

[brass knuckles]

username: oreo
kalon name: banana
tell me a joke: i must be gallium and yttrium, because i'm
Ga Y

(sorry not sorry)

[husky.]

username: husky.
kalon name: khan
tell me a joke:


1: what’s a pirate’s favourite letter?
2: rrr !
1: aye, you’d think so, but his true love be the c !

pirates like monkeys, right ? > >

[Mimu]

username:Mimu
kalon name:Jiao
tell me a joke:
Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?"

Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."

[Meduz]

username: jellyfish.lucy
kalon name: Alva
tell me a joke:A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?" The teacher said "I don't know, how?" Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!" Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a monkey in the fridge?" The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?" Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there." Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?" The teacher a bit confused and said "The lion?" Then the student said "No,the monkey because he's still in the fridge." then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you" The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge." Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!" She laughs and walks away.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/monkeyjokes.html

[liightning]

username: salty.sweet
kalon name: Lychee
tell me a joke: I apologize if this is too long...

there was a girl who walked home after school every day and stayed home alone until her parents came home. she was a clever and responsible student who did all her work and stayed out of trouble.
one regular day, she was doing her homework when the phone rang. she was confused. their home phone didn't get many calls.
"hello?" the girl answered the phone.
a whispery voice replied, sending an instant shiver down the girl's spine. "I'm the Viper. I vill be at your house in two weeks."
confused, the girl opened her mouth to reply when she heard the caller hang up.
"the Viper" sounded quite... creepy.
perhaps it's just a prank call, the girl reasoned before turning back to her homework. still, she couldn't shake off the chilling feeling.
throughout the week, to her relief, there were no more calls from this "Viper." she nearly forgot about this call.
then, a week later, the call came again.
before she even got to say anything, the voice whispered again: "this is the Viper. I'll be at your house in a week."
this was getting quite comical. someone had decided to prank call her twice.
a few days later: "I'm the Viper and vill be at your house in 3 days."
now the girl was getting a little suspicious. that eerie feeling had returned and she was beginning to wonder if any of her friends would be this determined to prank her. she'd asked them in school and none had confessed or shown any sign of knowing about this.
they weren't very good liars and it was unlikely the could keep the secret for long if they managed to pull it off the first time she asked.
"I'm the Viper, and I'll be at your house in a day." the girl's head pounded. who was "the Viper?" should she be worried about him?
that night she tried to ask her parents but they dismissed her worried explanation, encouraging her to ignore these calls.
the next day, the girl ignored the call. there was a voice mail: "the Viper will be at your house in 3 hours."
3 hours. this would be before her parents got home. she would still be alone.
there was another call and she picked up this time, forgetting to ignore it. "the Viper will be at your house in 1 hour."
50 minutes later, she was informed by yet another call: "the Viper will be at your house in 10 minutes."
and the final call came. the girl had gathered a plastic baseball bat in case she needed to protect herself. "the Viper is outside your door."
heart pounding, she crept downstairs and opened the door. outside was the Viper!
puzzled, the girl found herself staring at a normal man. he was holding a spray bottle and a towel.
"hello. I'm the Viper. I'm here to vipe your vindows!"

[ℋoney]

username: (ωнιѕρєя)
kalon name: Bango (bang - go)
tell me a joke: Q: How do you make the number one disappear?
A: Add the letter G and it’s “GONE”

[~The Original Alice~]

username: ~The Original Alice~
kalon name: Kimchi
tell me a joke:
There was this building and in the building there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

(I'm so sorry xD I'm blonde an I love making blonde jokes, I hope no one takes offense)

[hashtag]

username: hashtag
kalon name: Tag
tell me a joke:
Alright so 3 people die; a brunette, a red head, and a blonde. They all meet God, and he says "You must climb 100 stairs, and on each step I will tell you a joke. If you laugh, you don't go to heaven. But if you make it all 100 steps, you may enter." Everyone nods their heads and start climbing.
The red head fails at step 33, the brunette at 79, which then leaves the blonde. They make it to the 99th step, then burst out in laughter. "You almost made it! What was so funny?" God asks. "I just got the first joke!" says the blonde.

(No offence to anyone, love you all <3 cx)

[LivingLethal]

username: LivingLethal
kalon name: Regis
tell me a joke: To whoever took my Microsoft Office: I will find you. You have my Word.