[roelian]

username: katzuvo
kalon name: Taz
tell me a joke:
There once was a train conductor. He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.


Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed.


Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.


"You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.


The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."

[alyxmin]

username: pebs
kalon name: shard
tell me a joke: pro tip: if you stir coconut oil into kale, it makes it easier to scrape it into the trash

[SilentMelody]

username: silentmelody || kalon name: yúchǔn (meaning "silly" in chinese)

my wife and i decided that we don't want to have children anymore.
so anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

[Discter]

username: Discter
kalon name: Momo
tell me a joke: A snake walked into a bar, and the bartender said,

"how'd you do that?"

[Softballpup12]

username: Softballpup12
kalon name: Toimo
tell me a joke:
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

[Artimorca,,]

username:Yeti-Clawz
kalon name:Chimes
tell me a joke:

Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?


-


A. They can’t stand fast food.

[dragonstars]

username:Dragonstars
kalon name:Squirrel
tell me a joke:A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

[canary.]

username: canary.
kalon name: Davis
tell me a joke: He drove his car into the tree. Guess he found out how his Mercedes Benz!

[jolteon]

username: jolteon
kalon name: Iwa
tell me a joke: Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!

[Auvember]

username: Auvember
kalon name: Jackie
tell me a joke: So there was once a boy who really liked a girl, and he wanted to ask her out to prom. He worked up his courage and asked her; and she said yes! So then he had to get ready for the big day. First he went to rent a tux - but when he got to the shop, there was an extremely long line of people waiting to rent tuxes. He waited in the line, and finally got his tux.

Next he had to get a corsage for his date. So he went to the florist, and here too, there was a very long line! But he waited patiently and eventually got his corsage. Next he wanted to rent a limo. So he went to the limo rental place, and lo and behold there was a line out the door! But he still waited in line, and finally got to rent a limo.

Evening arrived, and he picked up his date and drove her to the school in the limo. He went to go buy the tickets to get into the dance, and there was an extremely long line! But he waited and waited, and eventually got the tickets. He and the girl went into the dance, and he decided he should get her some punch. So he went to the refreshment table, and there was no punch line.

Hope it made you laugh! crossed fingers cause I love this design