Hello. I'm here to tell you the story of a pirate. Who has sailed the seven seas, faced hardships, that you could not imagine, and went through it all with her strength, dignity, commitment, and of course, her monkey. If you'd like to begin reliving these stories, please understand that on the ship there will be no talking, and that you may have to survive off of anything you can find. Now lets go!
Your captain tells you to get in a quick single file line. Everybody obeys, and all march into a narrow boarding dock. At the end, there is a wooden boat, with red and white striped flags. It's not that big, but big enough to hold a crew. You all march inside, and go downstairs under the boat. Some are already slightly seasick. But, you are not. As you are walking down the dark , creaky stairway, you begin to smell mold. A rat scurries next to your foot. The rat was dirty, and it was very easy to spot his bones since he was so skinny. You shake your head as if this was a terrible idea, and as you do this, the stairs stop. Everybody stays in line, and is against the wall except for the captain. "Here is the grub compartment. This is the only time you will be down here for you whole rest of time here, my mateys. Unless, of course, you are me, or of higher rank, which I doubt will happen since all of you dumb dog's get any smarter soon." He says. You will soon get used to the new pirate terms. Dog is a mild insult. Now, he takes you back up in the sea air. By now, one person has already thrown up. But you feel fine. Like this was the place you were meant to be. Everybody is now on the main deck. " Well, here we are. One last stop. Follow me. No speaking or questions until later." The captain opened up a grand hatch in the middle of the main deck. It led to a ladder, which led to a little cramped hallway. Filled with pictures of this pirate we were gong to cherish and look up to. Did she live on this ship? Is she alive? Dead? Does she live on the ship? My mind was swirling. " There she is. The legendary lady pirate, Ramona the bold. Don't you ever say her name without the end. Always show respect to those higher up then you." He showed us a light blue, sloppily painted door. This is my bunk. We walked all the way back to were the ladder is. " Up we go." Everybody shuffled up the rusted ladder. I knew somebody else was living in that hallway. " That's the tour. Questions?" I was the only one healthy and not seasick enough to raise my hand. "You." He pointed to me. " Does anybody else live on this ship? Like Ramona the Bold?" " Possibly. Now, here is your comfy room. All will be sleeping here." He pointed to all of the deck. I dreaded a night of no sleep.
I'm guessing that you would like to know a little more about this mysteriously intriguing " Ramona the Bold". Lets begin on just that. Now, this story will lead you through everything she has been through. So, what you are going through right now is what she came through when she barely knew what a pirate was. She just didn't have every member of the crew wor-shipping her like some pirate goddess. They all thought it was strange that a female wanted to be a pirate. Soon, they began to treat her like any other pirate, and she fit in well. Captain will describe her personality.
" Ram, she is an interesting pirate girl. Ram is tough. Not like I can survive one day without getting seasick tough. Real tough. Tougher than most of my men. She cold live for weeks, in a cold room without water or food. She'd come out breathin'. She could get her arm cut off, and still have a smile on her face. Not like, a creepy smile, like, a ' don't worry about that' smile. She is very selfless, and loves most unconditionally, just watch out if your on her bad side. She is a trickster, though. She is very talented in the art of lying, trickery, and weirdly enough, gymnastics. She can do a flip, and land with a split. Get back up with a back bend, then smack you across the face. She once tricked a kiamara to give her all of his doubloons. She is a very interesting gal. If ya call her gal, be in for a beatin'. But, of course, because of the laws of the universe, and just like good ol' Miley Cirus says, nobody's perfect. Ram can be awkward, and at a loss of words in weird situations. When she is relaxing, or not worrying about who is around her, she is quite the clumsy little lady. She is not elegant or lady-like in anyway. I mean, we treat her like a regular pirate, because she really is. When somebody asks her a deeply personal question, instead of being shy, she has a meltdown. This no hissy fit. She whips out her sword, and we got to get her to cool down before one of our crew gets beaten up so bad he can't move. She is hard. To understand. Maybe one day, someone'll understand her.
Now, how does this Ramona look? Is she beautiful? Is she horribly ugly? What is the deal with this girl? Cap'n, can you show us a picture of Ramona the Bold?
Sure, and no need to call her by her full name, I was just jokin' with the new crew earlier.
Here is the most recent drawing we have of her. She is quite beautiful. Very sorry it is only her head. Soon, you will get to see full body. It is by a fellow named hasuki. He did it for free. Thank you, hasu.

Wow, she is stunning! Does your crew know, yet? She is a beauty. Does she live on the ship? Is she hearing us right now, is she eavesdropping?
My dear man, all those questions will be answered, soon. Now, the crew needs to learn a little more about Ramona and her great adventures across these here seven seas. Now, join me. This ought to be fun.
Me and the Captain walked towards the crew. Now, groups, like social cliques, have formed throughout the new crew. You were left alone. You walked to the railing, and looked at the horizon and thought of water. Thoughts of Ramona swirled like soup in your head. How did she look, is she still alive? You put it all to the side. Out of nowhere, Cap'n screams "ATTENTION!" All the chitter chatter of the cliques stopped. " I will now perform a song. This song is dedicated to Ramona the Bold, and is sung every morning before the first meal of the day. You'll get used to it.
⚓ As sweet as the light,
⚓ That shines on our wood,
⚓ The beauty of somebody,
⚓ Specialll
⚓ Pum, pum, pum, pum, pum,
⚓ All day long!
⚓ All day long!
⚓ Mermaids, and sirens and sea monsters,
⚓ All sail away!
⚓ Ramona!!!!!!!"
" That was the song of hers. And after every time we sing that song, somebody comes. Get in here Rammy!"
There, from out of the darkest corner of the ship that nobody knew about, came strolling, the Ramona. Then it hit me. Cap'n did not call her by her full name! It was always a joke. Wow, we got fooled good. That song did not seem pirate-like, either. Was it a joke, too? All I could really focus on was Ramona. Such beauty in such a strange form!
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Everyone on the crew went into awe. Her markings were putting everybody in a trance. Ramona grinned. " Hello, new crew. I'm Ram. Heard of me? Hahaha. Well, stop lookin' at me, and get to your own darn work." She said it with a sarcastic ring to it, and from that moment on, I like Ram. She was not like anybody else I had ever met. Cap'n and Ram were speaking to each other in hushed whispers. I trotted up to them bravely. "Hello Cap'n, Ram. What is my job?" Everybody around you had already known where to go and what to do. " Looks like we got another. Ram, just like you!" You see, before the crew boards the ship, each person or kia is counted for. There, is when you know you job and are informed on what you need to do to accomplish it. " This here Rammy was uninformed, too. Come on dog, lets get you to work. Follow me." Obeying, I followed Ram and Cap'n down the hatch were his bedroom is. We walked all together in the stillness and tranquility of your own private room. He opened the door. " Now, young fella, don't you be going telling every dog you know about this. quiet is key." Inside, was not a bedroom, but an office. Wooden table, faint yellow lamplight, and a couple chairs. A chest lay against the wall nearest to the desk. The only thing modern, was a laptop. What types of pirates have laptops? " This here doohickey is a laptop. Ever heard of one?" I nodded back to the Cap'n. " Shows videos of Ramona, and the old crew, sometimes. Well show ya that later. This is the meeting room. Nobody to know. Ya hear that newbie? NOBODY!" Then I realized it. A weird thing I could not believe I had not noticed before. Ram had a monkey on her shoulder. " What's your monkey's name, Ram?" Cap'n looked frustrated because I was changing the subject. Rammy turned around, and looked me straight in the eye. Her and I stayed like this for a while. " I like you. My monkey's name is Marlo." She said, breaking the silence. " Is that all of the meeting room?" I asked, turning to Cap'n. " Yup, sure is. But, since we have not even done anything exciting yet, we better get up to main deck. I think a fight's broke out." He replied, straining his ears. Up above on above the wall, there was some skirmish breaking out. Tumbling noises could be heard. All three of us rushed up the hatch. In the farthest corner of the ship, two men were on top of each other, throwing punches, kicks, smacks. " What is going on?" I screamed to a crew member next to me. " Fighting over a spot to sleep, again." Again? I thought. Rammy went up to the two men, and kicked both on the side. Really hard. They both sat up and looked up to Ram like a goddess. " Stop it you two. Or well have to banish ya, and ya'll don't want that." They shook there heads very nervously. Run along, fellas.
I don't want anybody stealing my story idea.