by kanadensis » Wed Jan 24, 2018 1:36 pm
Name; Sparrow
Gender; Female
What do they think of themselves?;
Sparrow was born in the wild - at least, that was all she had ever known. Amongst the fauna of the great boreal forest lived a small, unassuming creature with soft white fur and a halo around one ear. Weaving through the trees and dipping into snow drifts as she made her way around, she would chortle and whistle greetings at the other animals. Sparrow had never seen another creature like her, nor did she know how she had come to live in the forest, but she had an energy about her, a raw, benevolent spirit that drew all of the other creatures to her. They thought of her as a gift from the great Mother, from Nature herself, sent to protect them from harm. Her whole life she was told that she was a great gift to the forest, and Sparrow, as soft and sweet as she was, gladly took on the responsibility. She enjoyed having a purpose, and her presence never failed to cheer others up.
While she came off as a happy go-lucky girl, Sparrow did not have divine powers that could save her from the self-doubt and fear that grew inside her. She loved the other animals dearly sought to do everything she could to help them, yet no matter what she did she never felt like it was enough. When she joined the squirrels in gathering for winter, helped a mother cardinal teach her chicks to fly, or cleared the branches from a tired bear’s den, she could never shake the feeling that they expected more of her. Or perhaps it was her who expected more from herself?
Sparrow’s fear and self doubt as it brewed within her over time became stronger and stronger. No matter how many of the other animals reassured her of her helpfulness and strength, it seemed to go in one ear and out the other. How could they possibly know what she was capable of? What had she done to gain their trust in the first place? She was just a special-looking creature, nothing more. They would all see it if the time came for her to truly help them - they would all see her ineptness. And what would they think of her then?
As the winter turned to spring, Sparrow grew more distant from the creatures she had once been so close to. In turn, the other animals drew away from her; the ravens who would normally give her wake up call in the morning would fly off without a word, and the young rabbits she would run through the snow with had found others to play with. In a world so teeming with life, she began to feel more lonely than she had ever felt before. Everyone had left her, and she thought, this is when she felt she needed them the most.
That day Sparrow left, bounding through the trees as fast as she could. No one would miss her, she was sure of it. They had only wanted her when she was happy and high-spirited - they only wanted the positive side. For hours she ran until her legs were too tired to carry her and night began to fall. The wind howled through the trees, bringing with it foreign sounds and smells. Where was she? It didn’t matter.
As she settled down for the night with no plan for the next day, she began to feel the true fear set in - not fear of being unwanted, but the true, raw fear of being alone and helpless. Was this supposed to be better than her life back home? Would the judgment of the others feel different from this cold, foreign emptiness?
The night was long and Sparrow could hardly rest. All she could think of was her old friends, her old memories, and the joy that she had once felt being among them. Why had that joy gone? Why had her self-doubt, so stealthily and without notice, crept up on her and stolen it? She shivered as the frosty mist of dawn began to settle on her fur.
Sparrow was awoken the next morning by the frantic commotion of the animals around her. It was her friends - the rabbits, deer, foxes - many of them she had not spoken to in months. They nudged her awake and pleaded her to return home. And something in that moment, surrounded by the bright sunlight and warmth of her friends thawed the cold insecurity and freed her joy. Another chance at joy was all she needed, and another chance is what she now had.
![Image](https://orig00.deviantart.net/80f0/f/2018/032/d/7/sparrowart_by_kanadensis-dc1vdlu.png)
Last edited by
kanadensis on Fri Feb 02, 2018 11:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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