About Me
My name is Smolder
I own 2 Kiamaras
c:
Nick.
The first impression you get of the fellow is probably somewhere along the lines of "awkward
hillbilly". Though with his lack of a southern drawl, and his urban upbringing, he appears to be as
much of an outsider as one could be, that's always how he's lived his life. As an adult, he's grown
to realize and accept the fact that yes, he is different.
And that no, that is not always a bad thing.


As a young lad, Nick wasn't your typical kid. He always seemed to act just a bit differently than others his age. He was clumsier, for starters. While every kid has their occasional scrapes, Nick would take a tumble in many situations; be it falling off various playground equipment, crashing full-speed into walls or other kids, or just stumbling over his own paws.
Another struggle was simply his lack of social knowledge. He first attempted to mimic the other schoolkids, though that backfired when he was noticed and called a copycat. He then tried to just mind his own business, but the other kids delighted in teasing him, some playing "harmless pranks" and others full-scale taunting. Eventually, Nick decided to just avoid the other kids, and feigned illness to stay inside and read, rather than face the others at recess.

While at first reading was simply something to do in the boring classroom, he eventually picked up an interest in it; reading all of the books the classroom had, including ones beyond his grade level. By sixth grade he was at a high school reading level, picking up an intense vocabulary throughout. He took a special interest in old legends and fables, as well as books about dragons. In fact, he became obsessed with dragon books; relentlessly sifting through every book in the library for a new and fascinating tale.
art by wolvesgorawrAs Nick grew older, his differences became a bit more apparent, and Pocky eventually came to the realization that there was something up with him, and took him to be checked out.
Nick was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of twelve.
He grew to hate school. He hated the fact that the other kids would tease him just because he was different. He was already inconsistent about doing his homework; but as the stress and sadness began to eat at him, he almost never completed his homework, oftentimes lying about it, in a vain attempt to not disappoint his fathers.

Freshman year of high school brought Nick's hopes up for a better life. Unfortunately those hopes were shot back down by more bullies and backstabbing "friends". Nick attempted to change himself and his appearance to better fit in. They never seemed to work well for him.
He distracted himself by dreaming of better days in his future. However, they were muddled thoughts, as he simply couldn't imagine staying in the city, but having lived his whole life there, he couldn't imagine differently.
When junior year rolled around, about halfway through Nick stopped caring what people thought of him entirely. He wore what he wanted, carried himself how he wanted, and found that without the stress weighing him down, his grades improved. They weren't stellar due to his rough beginning, but they were much better than before. Senior year, he graduated with straight A's, baffling his parents, his teachers, and many of his peers.

After he graduated, he desired for a change. He packed up his things and headed west, to the wilder lands and stretches of untouched forests and mountains. He settled himself into a small town, and ended up going to college for two years and landing a job as a park ranger for one of the national parks in his general area. Now it's just him and his dogs, and though he misses his family, he loves his new, though branched-off, wonderful life.

Nick now lives in a big, forested area, his lands covering merely a small portion of a huge expanse of mountains and forests. He doesn't have many friends there; as there's not many others around in the first place, but he's happy. He never did need the social interaction anyways, throughout the entirety of his life he'd preferred being alone. He works most days at the local national park, though he also works part time at a 60's style diner in town. During his weekends and other free time he hunts with his dogs, he owns nine dogs but will often take trios out, as some are better suited to hunting his chosen quarry for the night. His first dog was a redbone/collie mutt he found, skinny and flea-ridden, hiding in the woods. As she didn't have an owner he named her Rose and she turned out to be a surprisingly fine hunter despite her mixed blood. Her usual companions/fellow hunting dogs are Sandy and Dragon, two pureblood redbones. Despite the large number of animals, Nick loves them all deeply and babies them as if they were his children.

In case you haven't figured it out by now, Nick is as different as
one could be. He sees the world differently, and this often leads
to some unusual ramblings about said viewpoint. His mind is
a balance of daydreams, observations, reality, and imagination.
He sees things as they are; and due to this has a sharp intuition
and an excellent sense of understanding. He looks at both sides
of the story, loves to stop and think things over instead of making
rash decisions or developing over-quick opinions based on one
person's tale.
He spends a lot of his time thinking, pondering over things people
said that day, or just thinking over the mysteries of life itself. He
often appears aloof, his head in the clouds, appearing unfocused,
as if he had lost himself in some blank space somewhere. But this
is not always the case -though he does zone out occasionally- but
rather, it is him blocking out the real world for a moment to think
uninterrupted.
Nick may be clumsy in most cases, but when he is concentrating
on where he puts his paws, he's near as graceful as the finest
dancer. This makes him a swift and silent hunter; and it means
he can be pretty great at startling people! He can navigate
without use of his eyesight, which suits night hunts well; he
can't afford to be smashing into trees or crashing through
thornbushes.

Nick has faced many different thoughts on his behavior. Due to his "high functioning" behavior type, he was often never offered help where he needed it most. "You can handle it!", they said. Yet in other cases, he was shadowed by the teachers who are convinced that he needs extra help.
Very convinced. He grew to be stubborn and held a general dislike of teachers due to this behavior. Only his nature of not wanting trouble kept him from becoming an argumentative "problem student". He still highly distrusts authority figures, and prefers to function independently.
Despite Nick's general distaste for his peers, he never did have the attitude or confidence to rebel completely. But rather, he would rant to himself and vent his anger through writings and music. Though he had quite poor writing skills due to his scattered thought processes, he liked simply getting it down somewhere, through a variety of literature types including short stories, "novels", journal entries, and poems. He liked quite the variety of music as well, consisting of a little bit of everything, though he tended to like alternative rock the most. Though he almost always left this out when talking about music he likes, he quite enjoys pop, too.


Nick isn't so much imagination or reality, as he
is a mixture of both. This creates quite a bit of internal
conflict, as the dreamer side of him will say one thing, and
the reality side will contradict it. He has a fair share of
imagination, however though his head's in the clouds, his
eyes are focused on the ground. He makes realistic life
plans with a touch of wishing, a bit of dreaming. To him,
too much imagination clouds one's head; and too much
reality makes one dull. His scattered mind means these
ideals are never truly "in balance"; but rather, some
days one side of this internal "battle" often outweighs
the other.
Due to his "touch of imagination", Nick's
reality is brighter and just a bit more optimistic than
those who see it as it is; though this often can lead to
disappointment when he realizes it's not as bright and
sunny as he made it out to be. Though this does
encourage him to reach farther, take more risks, to
get to where he's happiest.
Amaranthine -- Nick and Anders were originally classmates with a bit of a rivalry between them, all through high school. Anders always knew exactly how to get on Nick's nerves, despite Nick's attempts to keep calm. They loved jabbing at Nick's closeted sexuality, flirting heavily with him during both their feminine and masculine days, embarrassing and frustrating him. Anders always thought it was great fun, though due to Nick's insecurities the taunting was hurting and upsetting him more than they originally realized. Some time after their graduation, Anders did some thinking, called him up and apologized for how they acted. Nick begrudgingly forgave them and after a while, though their separation makes hanging out impossible, they continued to stick together as good friends.
Draven -- They met when he was 14, and she was 18. Nick never took an interest in sticking around home when he had free time to be spent, so he'd hang around town; where one day he quite literally bumped into Draven. They had seen each other around before that point, but never spoke beyond polite greetings. They got talking, and as neither of them had anything to do that day, they hung out for several hours. They became friends almost instantly, and would take walks together almost every day, having conversations about random somethings-or-other. She helped him figure out what he wanted to do with his life, and gave him quite a bit of life advice. By the time he moved away she saw him as the little brother she never had. They still call each other at least twice a week to catch up.
Laurel -- Nick never officially "met" Draven's mate, Laurel. It was during one of his and Draven's video calls that he saw her for the first time. After a bit of an awkward introduction, they all had a long conversation about the usual randomness together. Nick found that he could get along with her quite well, even if she's a bit feisty compared to his laid-back nature. The three occasionally chat as a group, and he has grown accustomed to her being a part of him and his "other big sister's" little familial group.
Locien -- Nick doesn't recall when he first met Locien, it's been such a long time, but it was likely not the most pleasant of encounters. Their polar opposite personalities makes getting along difficult to impossible. Any time one of them speaks, there's bound to be an argument. But what they did enjoy doing was compete. Despite Nick's "passive cupcake" -as Anders would probably put it -personality, he is athletic and competitive, loves being up and moving, the faster the better. He and Locien would compete in various one on one, or sometimes two on two versions of sports, or have intense sparring matches after an argument, to settle who the boss really is. It's an even match; Nick isn't quite as strong as Locien, but Locien is younger, meaning Nick has a bit of a size advantage. They have had this kind of rivalry for years, and though Nick has left, he still remembers these past "battles" and their victors.
Pocky -- Nick and Pocky always had a bit of a distant relationship when he was younger due to his apparent issues with schooling. They still had a reasonable amount of interaction due to Nick's intense interest in reading. Nick would always beg his father to read to him the stories with the words too long for him to decipher himself. Nick always showed an eager interest in spending time with Pocky due to their many shared interests, though the interactions occasionally became strained and awkward when Nick started struggling or questioning himself. His very poor homework schedule only made things worse, and he often felt like he could never live up to his father's expectations.
However, despite the troubled times, Nick has learned a lot from his father through good and bad about keeping his eye on the ball; and his head (mostly) out of the clouds.
Khajiit -- Nick and Khajiit, despite having similar detached personalities, always struggled with relating to each other due to their many differences. Nick's initial admiration wore off a bit as Khajiit wouldn't read to him when he was little, and he would have to go to Pocky instead. Despite this, Nick always preferred talking about his future plans with Khajiit, as he was a bit worried about Pocky's reactions to his decisions. Nick found he could catch a break easier with his father, and despite their differences the two shared a close bond.
Cooper -- Nick has a mixture of admiration and distrust in terms of his older brother. Though he doesn't know of his older brother's specific path, the way he carries himself invokes all kinds of ponderings to Nick. Though he would never want the stress of carrying himself so princely as his brother does; he enjoys imagining what it would be like; what kind of life his brother leads. The two aren't close, in fact they never really were. Nick does his best not to look fearful, though he is almost certain Cooper knows. Despite these unusual means of getting along, they are brothers, and have a familial bond all the same.
Tovitaan -- If there is anyone in the family Nick can truly relate to, it's his eldest sister. Her quirky nature and complex views on when to dream and when to look straight ahead are shadowed by him quite a bit. Like her, he is competitive and sharp, loving the challenge and the rush at the end of it; be it win or lose (though when it comes to these two, he's often on the losing end, though he'd never admit it!) He tends to make the best of his attempts to adapt by mimicking her mannerisms, which occasionally works, and sometimes it fails miserably. It's simply an endless game of trial and error, one that she often made attempts to help him through.
Tiki -- Nick and Tiki get along with a simple air of cooperative existence. Nick does his best not to get in the way of her socializing or embarrass her with his unusual mannerisms, and in turn she will help him with his schooling if he's really struggling; which happens more than he prefers to admit. He always acts in the role of "little brother", though being twins, they're technically the same age. Though Nick refuses to ask for help from anyone else, he sometimes will "admit weakness" and ask it from her.