Reserved.
Me and Tanya <3
Rexodus wrote:
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By Myself, Rexodus
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Username:
Kaden
Name:
Polaris
Relationship With Vega:
I hate him so much; he's a mister goody two shoes. He treats me just like he does everybody; only being kind, caring, friendly.. That's all I am, now, one of them. Just a friend to him just as they are... what happened to us being brothers? When we were younger, when it was the two of us, we spent all our time together; every second of it. That all changed when he wandered off to see what some noise was that was close by. It was a festival; a change of the suns. He wandered closer and met a few others and started too converse with them. And that's when my jealousy grew and my friendship with him turned to hatred. All those times we used to spend together seemed to have been forgotten in the smiles he shared with the others, a smile that would falter every time he'd see me. I can't help it that this pit of jealousy has turned into hate - I just wish he could see that, but does he? Not in the slightest. He doesn't see that behind my scowl is a cry for his attention, his love again. I just want to go back to how it all was; just him and I, no one else. Where he just focused on ''us'' and not ''them''. It's hard; adapting, that is. Having one sole friend for all of your life only having to share them with others... I just want to be the center of his attention,for him to be the Vega I used to know., the brother I used to have.
Something tells me that we will never go back to what we use to be. To a point, I feel like he's leaving me out of everything he does now and it hurts beyond anything that's happened to me before. Ever since he started socializing with other's, I've grown distant with him, only keeping to myself. I tend to dwell in the good memories of what we use to be; hoping that someday it would change. Every time he tries to talk to me, my jealousy takes over and I start to ignore him or just tell him to 'leave me alone' because I just don't want to hear him say that he's sorry. Is he truly sorry though? I told him not to go to that festival but he didn't listen. He broke the one promise that meant the world to me. Since that promise was broken, I haven't had the courage to forgive him. I hate him but I love him. My mind cannot settle on just one feeling for him and it's killing me on the inside. Why can't I just choose one emotion and settle on it? It will be the death of me. I do want him back but at the same time, I want to stay as far away from him as possible.
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Username:
Rexodus
Name:
Vega
Relationship With Polaris:
I don't know what the status of the relationship between Polaris and I could be called any more. We used to call each other brothers for we had a bond so strong we couldn't just settle for being best of friends. But now? Now that is a title I use no longer. He has grown bitter, angry, and he always tends to keep his distance from me. I do not understand why for I have no knowledge of what I have done to deserve such a cold treatment. I have always put him first, no matter what. Even though I mingle with other Flox nowadays, I'm always so curious about how he is... I'd check on him if it wasn't for him always pushing me away; constantly he'd tell me to ''leave him alone,'' or say that ''I don't care about him''. But he is blind in the fact I do care.
I look back at the days when we would laugh at each other's jokes, talk from dawn until dusk, or simply bask in each other's company. We didn't need anyone else, just one another. I guess that's one of the reasons he doesn't talk to me nowadays, perhaps. Ever since I made that stupid mistake of venturing to the festival and conversing with others, I've been talking to more than just him. I share my smile with my other Flox friends; we laugh, we play, we just bask in each other's company just like he and I used to, but... It's just not the same without him.
Now those memories of what him and I used to be haunt me like a never-ending nightmare of grieving and sorrow. The colour from those memories drained; only leaving a grainy monochrome image of their former self. And who is it I am to blame? Am I to blame him for getting angry over the fact I have other friends? Or am I to blame myself for going to that festival in the first place? Or perhaps, we're both as bad as one another. I was so naive to think that broadening our horizons on the matter of friendships would be good for us when really it was the thing that broke us apart.
If I could turn back time and just have listened to Polaris, to agree and just stayed with him instead of following the bright lights I would in a heart beat. He was my only friend; he never hurt me, or lied to me, and he kept all the promises he made to me. But I couldn't keep the one he held dear to him; that we'd always be together,no matter what. If only he'd listen when I tell him that I'm sorry, that I want to make amends. But his bitterness keeps me wondering; does he want to take me back, so once again we can be friends?
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Art:
All art by myself, Rexodus.
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