━━━ ● ● ● ━━━
“it is beautiful, it is endless,
it is full and yet seems empty.
it hurts us.”
― jackson pearce, fathomless
━━━ ● ● ● ━━━
username cheeb
name rei
gender agender
xxxxxi hated water.
xxxxxwater hated me, too. it's taken everything i've had: puddles have taken my homework, the pond has taken numerous books, and the ocean... the ocean took my parents.
xxxxxi was young when i learned. it wasn't granpda's fault that i found out, but the obituary hung on the refrigerator was enough to let me know that "a fatal boating accident" caused their demise. i refused to swim, and i hated even being near water.
xxxxxgrandpa kept a koi pond in his backyard, starting long before i was born. he claimed they kept him company. i never understood the appeal: they were fish. he always tried convincing me to feed them, but i refused to go anywhere close to the pond. "it's too dangerous!" i would yell shakily.
xxxxxhe would sigh. "oh, rei. the waves are very unpredictable, dear, but it was not their fault." i protested this notion -- even as a child, i wasn't willing to give up -- but he wouldn't let me have my way. "someday, you will join your fellow fish and learn how to swim."
━━━ ● ● ● ━━━
xxxxxinstead of worrying about falling victim to the waves, i spent my time gardening. it was calming to watch a little seed become a magnificent, blossoming plant. grandpa always tried to help me as best as he could, but he was better at maintaining his pond. we would be in the yard at the same time: i'd water my plants, humming a tune to myself, while grandpa would skim leaves out of the pond. this was our way of bonding. we would have little talks while doing our own thing.
━━━ ● ● ● ━━━
xxxxxit had been 16 years since they'd left us. at midnight, i crept out to the pond. i don't know why i did.
xxxxxi sat on the pond's bridge, gazing into the deep blue water. my face was reflected by it. i saw myself quiver as the koi's sleek bodies came dancing past. hovering over most worst nightmare, i had never been more scared, but i was entranced by the koi. i wanted... to be like them.
xxxxxwithout hesitating, i climbed over the railing of the bridge. "i can't be afraid all my life," i murmured, taking one last breath. i dipped a foot in, causing small ripples and the scattering of koi. i couldn't wait any longer.
xxxxxi finally found the courage to join the fish and swim.
(400/400 words)