Write a Letter You Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[uro]

Dear Alex
I feel so strained talking to you every day, and I'm sure you feel the same way. I'm sure the feeling is very mutual, we both feel extremely tired and bored. I got it, you were just using me, and i was just using you because we were both so bored and we even had the nerve to call it "love," listen, this isn't love. Its a toxic relationship, and I've gone so long I'm thinking of just letting go at this point. There are so many reasons to do it, I'm running out of hope as well as reasons to stay with you. And i hope you're fully aware that I know what you're hiding. You've been hiding it since day one, and I've been kind of scared to confront you on it, but I know who you are. I'm kind of upset that you kept it from me, it's not like that would really effect how i think of you. The past is the past. Nonetheless the fact you kept it from me hurts. Doing the things you're doing, i bet you think I'm clueless. I'm not lol, I'm extremely skeptical and observant and I have very very good memory, and trust me, I've picked up on things. I kind of wish I was clueless, then i wouldn't have to deal with the jealousy, sadness, and conflicting thoughts you haunt me with. What I'm trying to say is I want us to disassociate. It's too painful and i feel selfish but talking to you is a literal inconvenience. I'd even compare it to a chore. You're probably very shocked, I've been keeping this in for so long. This isn't just a spur of the moment petty thing I've come up with, I've been having these thoughts for a very VERY long time. What's the point? To be blunt, Let's disassociate , I feel like we could both benefit.

[Pinesong]

Dear S,

Gosh, I care so much about you and sometimes all I want is just to sit with you in the sunshine and talk and talk until the night catches up with us. I wish we could go on road trips together and play our favourite music and have picnics by the waterfall. But we could sit in the prettiest park or eat by the gentle roar of water and it'd never cross your mind the way that I feel about you.
We walk by the river with little cups of coffee in our freezing hands and chat by a fire. We read at the library and research while the scent of old leather bound books surround us. No matter how many precious, fragile memories that we share, they'll never be ours. They'll be yours and mine. I just want you to be happy, whether it's with me or not.

[Astrola ~]

Dear jwb
I've missed you dude, I can't wait to see you again. Love ya c:

[shadowloversmothie]

Dear, Lin Manuel Miranda. Can we get more good musicals?

Sincerely, YOUR BEST FAN

[Kaesung]

Dear You,

Right now, I wish more than anything that I could send you this letter. That I could make you understand, no, maybe it's so I can understand myself. I have never understood my own emotions, heart or mind, maybe you were right when you said I never gave you a chance but more than anything I know I never understand something until it's gone and over. Even after then I understand so little that it really can't even be called "understanding", it's only regret. Regret for everything. They say hindsight is 20/20, but it's all just as blurry to me, so let me express what I mean by that. I can't tell if I ever loved you, all I know now is that before the end the world started weighing on me and I have never been able to fight it. I hurt you on the days when I let the world hurt me too, all that time you were probably thinking it was you. But you're the only one who many me smile. When I look back I can clearly see, the last time I was happy was when I had you by my side. I laughed, and smiled, and enjoyed so many things, as long as they were with you. But I haven't done any of that for so long now, it feels like a lost memory. And all I see is you, every time I play a game, or enjoy a meme, or feel what could be a smile tug at my lips you are the first thing that comes to mind. Tell me, why is that? Why is it that I understand only now how important you were to me, and how much of my day was filled with you. Tell me, if it was like that this whole time, why would I say those things, why would I let you go? How could I sit there and say I didn't love you, isn't needing someone and caring about them what love is in the first place? But ignorance is all I've ever known. I didn't know myself, now I don't most of all and I don't think I will again. All that's happening in my head and I just wonder... Would it hurt so much if you weren't gone too? Would I be a stronger person if I had been able to keep you by my side? It's ridiculous I know. Being too dependent on someone isn't supposed to be a good thing, but I think with you perhaps that just happened without my even realizing it.

I only listened to my friend because I saw it too, you were overly attached and so dependent. I knew that wasn't good for you, it couldn't be. You needed something other than clinging onto someone, that was part of the reason yes but. I think now maybe that was just an excuse. I think I'm more selfish than any other person can be, because I don't even know what that would be an excuse for and I still think I was using your well-being to avoid or get away from something. Which is sickening, because I did care, yet, still not enough I suppose. Yet now I miss you so desperately, I haven't touched a single recording with your voice, because I think hearing it would break me. Hearing you laugh and enjoy things, hearing me be the same way. I can't have that back, I can never hear you again or say a single thing. But I want to, more than anything. I want to know that you are okay, I want to hear it with your own words because now more than ever I'm not, I'm really not. And I don't know if I desperately want you to know that, or desperately never want you to find out. Even now I could come running to you, but I can't, I won't let myself. I know I've become a shell of the person you knew only three months ago. I know I'm a monster who's broken herself. You deserve better than to have a person like that in your life, even though I miss you so badly. You left without a word and blocked me, and you know what, it hurt so bad, so so so bad. But I couldn't say a word, how could I? This was my fault. I couldn't take back what I said, even if I was wrong or didn't mean it. I gave up any right to comfort you, or call your name. And I can't tell if I hate you, miss you or love you. It hurts too that I'll never find out. I'm so sorry, for being such a fool. Such a bad friend, such a selfish, careless, horrible person. I just hope you are well, I hope you can live your life happily and surround yourself with better people than me.

I miss you. I'm sorry. But please never come back for me. Please never see me like this.

[Clarrissa]

Dear CS,
I swear I will never understand how one site can contain the nicest and kindest users I've ever met, while also housing the most greedy, rude and selfish people on the internet.
Wow.
~me

Dear Nobody in Particular,
I feel so stressed right now. I have just over a month to revise for four exams and finish two essays. Yay.
I have no idea how I'm going to manage to scrape a 1st class for my first year.
If this is the easy year how on earth am I going to cope with the next two?
But at the same time I really just want to relax and take time off. I know I can't but I wish I could take a week to just try to recooperate before throwing myself into this.
~me

[Scourgeface0]

Andrea,

. . . . . .What did I do to deserve this... horrid note? You say "I need more positive friends and a more positie look on life," but you don't explain what I did that made you write this. Not only do you explain nothing, but you wrote too formally, but misspelled so many things. Not to mention at the start of your note, you wrote "goodby" and at the end you wrote "goodbye." You didn't care to spell check this at all, nor did you say this all right to my face. I watched you write this letter, not knowing what it was. You could have explained to me what you meant if you said this to me. I know you're not a shy person, but this is pathetic. You don't give someone a note, let alone at the end of school on the last day, to end a friendship. I thought we were friends, I thought I knew who you were. Looks like I was wrong.
-Scourge

Franny,
. . . . . . .I'm sorry for what I said about you and your school. I just don't understand. Sure, that school means a lot to you because you got in by mere chance. The school's expensive and filled with rich kids. I guess not all rich kids are bad since you like it there. I wish we could be friends again, hell, I wish I never said what I said. Just know, that without you and Alex, I'm nothing. Sure, I have the people of Pirate Software, but they're not the same. I can't go out and see them face to face whenever I want. I can't go out to the Netherlands, California, Oregon, New Mexico, Portugal, Utah, Canada, Australia, Texas, or anywhere else, just to see my friends. With you guys, we can just say, "Hey, wanna come over my house on this day?" and we'd be there. I will never forgive you from the fact you guys ignored me over your Halloween costumes and Stranger Things. You could've invited me into the conversation, but you didn't. I don't expect you to forgive me after what I said in October, but just know that I cried that day. The Halloween before was the first and only Halloween I went out with my friends; you guys. Times before I'd just go with my dad, since I had no friends or siblings to go with. Sure, I had friends, but not as good as you guys. You were the best friends I've ever had and I've had for the longest time. Two and a half years. That may not sound like much, but to have awesome friends like you guys and keep you around for that long, that's a hell of a long time.
-Scourge

(note, if theres anyone on CS with usernames like the names i said, i am not talking about them. i am talking about people outside of CS and as far as i know, none of them have an account on here)

[rancidram]

dear ts,
thanks for being here for me. i don't think i thank you enough. you're amazingly supportive and i love you so much! can't wait to see you someday!
love,
ryu

[peppermints & poetry]

dear m&d,
leave me alone.
you're so insensitive,
and self-centered,
and you don't really care.
if the truth sets people free
then you're both locked in cages
with a thousand pounds of reinforced steel.
so open your eyes so i may leave.
it's not worth talking to you anymore.
you don't know me.
from
the one who doesn't want to be

dear k,
please tell me i didn't hurt you.
i want to apologize, to speak, but i can't.
i don't think i'll ever get closure from this, and
i'm sorry i can't open up to you or be yours.
you probably don't care since you've obviously moved on,
but i'm haunted. i hope it didn't seem like flirting.
i hope i wasn't too callous.
we just don't work in that way.
thanks and no thanks for this.

dear d-fg,
i hate you because you know me so well.
because you think i'm so innocent and sweet
and know nothing of the world's darkness.
your protection is nice and all, but let other
people apologize for their mistakes, and let
other people reveal what they know.
you have no idea what i've been through before,
so don't you dare show only light
where the night should be.

again
dear m&d,
why do you have to make everything so difficult?
i felt a little ray of sunshine, and you have to do
everything in your power to make it dark, to make it disappear,
to never let me feel the light, while you claim
to walk in the light yourselves.
i do my very best to be honest, but even as i tell truth
you twist my words until i am the villain, until
i'm so frustrated and hurt i want nothing to do with you.
i'm so sick of both of you.
you blow everything out of proportion,
taking something that is honest to goodness
small and innocent, and blowing it up
to be bad and nasty until a cloud circles
my head and i can no longer enjoy
what's supposed to be my time, my moment.
you force your jaded perspective onto mine, and
wonder why i can't stand either of you.
you wonder why i don't bother talking to you.
it's so useless, what's it going to achieve?
your preconceived notions have no concept
of right and wrong.
i'm just going to do my best now
to make sure you don't steal this from me.

[zant.]

Dear M,
You'd think even a close-minded person like you would at least somewhat understand what your son is trying to tell you after so long.
Its been 8 years.
8 years since I started wanting to wear the more feminine items in the store. Since I tried out some makeup and loved it.
Those entire 8 years I've been telling you constantly, I'm not a girl. I'm not wanting to be a girl. I'm a boy. I know I am, and I'm happy with that. I just happen to be a boy who feels more comfortable in skirts and makeup.
And its not like its excessive??
I only occasionally wear actual feminine stuff (skirts and dresses) and my makeups never that noticable.

But when you tell me that if I don't stop, people are gonna assume I'm a girl, it hurts.

or when you tell me to "stop acting like a girl, youre a BOY" I know I am. I never said i wasnt.

Or when you constantly ruin every conversation we have by bringing it up, and trying to convince me to stop,

I mean, dad knows, he understands, why cant you?

I hate it.
It makes me feel bad about who I am.

I'm trying to like who I am.
And this is helping me greatly.
Youre not at all.

Don't you want me to be happy?



-



Dear A,

Thank you, for being a great friend 😂
Thank you for dealing with me
And for being there at my lowest moments and for sticking around all these years
Thank you for making me happy
i dont know what id do without you.
Gods this sounds like some cliché love letter.
Nah bro, youre one of my bestest friends and you're amazing.
Thank you