[Yuri_the_botfly]

As Insectoids, we are naturally pretty different from humans, which results in a lot of misconceptions forming about them. That's why we here at Athasian News have enlisted the help of gygfreas yopolus, a xenobiology professor from the former university of athas (may the victims of the carnivoran first encounter of 1324GY rest in peace) who specializes in human biology. Without further ado, here are the top ten most common misconceptions about human.
Number 10: humans are the most venomous species in the galaxy, but won't bite us because their teeth are too short to pierce our exoskeleton
You may often hear this shared as a fun fact about humans by a low level Insectoid Resistance member attempting to look smart in an ill-advised attempt to make friends in the underground bunker. However, this idea is false on so many levels. For one thing, the main reason humans do not bit us is that unlike most meat eaters, humans evolved to use tools to hunt their prey. If you for some reason are attacked by a human(as many mahou shoujo recruiters are when first attempting to recruit new humans into the resistance)
they will most likely try to grab something nearby with their hands. Unlike us, most humans use their hands to manipulate objects, instead of psychokinesis or their mouths. For another thing, humans don't even have venom. The main danger in getting bitten by a human is the enormous amounts of deadly bacteria they store in their mouths. If you are for some reason bitten by a human on a softer part of your exoskeleton, First wash the wound, and then seek a healer-type mahou shoujo or doctor immediately.
Number 9: Humans prefer freezing temperatures at all times, and cannot survive in the heat
This one is a bit more understandable, given that humans seem to do poorly in the hot overworld sands of Athas, but can survive in their often-snowy homes. But the truth is, humans do not really like either of these conditions. As warm-blooded animals, humans are able to heat their own bodies naturally, allowing them to survive cold climates. But this doesn't mean they necessarily like those conditions. Just like us, humans are living things that feel pain and discomfort, and joy and pleasure. Humans want to live comfortable lives in nice climates, ideally those of around 21 to 26 degrees Celsius. Also, when given proper amounts of water and shade, most humans can survive long periods of time on the overworld of Athas.
Number 8: Humans are all on the side of the Carnivorans because they are genetically related
You often hear many of the more cynical recruiters say this sort of thing offhandedly after a long and unsuccessful day of attempting to recruit humans to become mahou shoujo and being rejected and then attacked. For one this is a huge insult and disservice to the humans who have graciously decided to join our side and help to save Insectoids, and the universe at large, from the genocidal aspirations of the Carnivorans by becoming mahou shoujo or mahou shounen. For another thing, the superficial and tenous physical resemblance between humans and Carnivorans does not mean they are genetically related. For one thing, humans are made mostly of carbon, whilst Carnivorans are made of silicon. Thus it is not possible for them to have reproduced together now or at any point in the past. Just because humans are bipedal and have fur does not mean that they are evil. There also are many Insectoid species of people with chitinous "fur" and who are bipedal or stand upright, and this way of thinking ostracizes them and helps to continue speciesism amongst ourselves. If we are ever going to unite together and defeat the Carnivorans, we must put species aside. Not discriminating based on the looks of species alone is what separates us from the Carnivorans.
Number 7: All humans are the same
Now this one is a bit understandable, given that Earth in general has far fewer intelligent species than Athas, and that humans are far more superficially similar to each other than most Insectoid species. However, just because they may look similar to the untrained eye, does not mean they are all the same in terms of personality and ability. Just like the non-hivemind species of Insectoids, (and no disrespect to hiveminds, they are quite nice) humans are all very different in terms of personality. For another thing, there are ways to tell the difference between your human colleagues. All mahou shoujo team outfits are designed to look different from each other in order to make differentiation easy, but most humans can be differentiated in terms of coloring(for those who can see color) sound, general shape and outfits. Be advised that in some parts of Earth differentiating by smell is not recommended, as humans in these areas consider natural smells to be "smelly" and regularly cover themselves in chemicals to hide said smells.
Number 6: Humans are some of the fastest animals in the galaxy
This myth originates from a gross misrepresentation of an essential fact about humans: they are persistence predators. What dos this mean? It means that before they developed civilization, in order to hunt, they would persistently pursue their prey across the savannah, waiting for them to tire out. In order to do this, humans must have a lot of both physical and mental stamina, which they do. If a human in top shape is chasing an animal, generally, the human will be able to run for a longer distance due to their increased stamina. Humans today are not normally in top shape and so you shouldn't really expect them to do this though. In short distances, humans are also very slow, due to their bipedality and lack of wings.
Number 5: Human parents must incubate their children inside themselves for 18 earth years, or 6 G.T.U.
While it does take 6 G.T.U for humans to fully mature, they spend most of this time outside of their parents, in the nymph stage. Due to the resistance's extreme shortage in members, some older human nymphs have been recruited as mahou shoujo. It is regrettable, but we must do what it takes to survive.
Number 4: All humans are very superstitious and primitive
This myth probably originates from recruiters. And I can see why'd they'd believe this. After all, after being constantly attacked by humans who think that you are some sort of evil monster out to kill them when you are actually just trying to recruit them, who wouldn't? But you must remember that humans are unused to aliens being on their planet, given that they have not yet developed interplanar travel and that most human transportation methods are very slow. This does not mean that they are stupid however, just that they have spent their time doing other things. Most of human science is based around 2 things: how to better kill each other, and how to better heal each other. Now, would they have better weapons and healing skills if they focused more on other things? probably. But given the limitations of their resources, it's amazing what humans have come up with. Without plasma rays, and without even discovering the magic powers of the soul that all sapient creatures have, humans have managed to create many incredible weapons and healing techniques which don't rely on magic, which we are currently trying to understand to help counteract the strong magic powers and technology of the Carnivorans.
Number 3: Humans have tails/abdomens
You often see this in drawings and art of humans. Given that this is such a basic fact, this is quite an embarrassing thing to get wrong.So why then, is this so common? I've even seen drawings in official Insectoid Resistance materials that do this! In most Insectoid species, and indeed, most animals in general, tails are an essential part of the animal. They help to balance us, store our eggs and organs, grab things, and be more agile. Thus, this makes it harder for us to understand that in humans, tails are a vestigial trait. Only a small few bones exist from the tails they once had. It's weird, but many of us have traits that humans would also consider weird. After all, that is the main source of human-Insectoid conflict. But even if we think that we are very different, we must remember that to the Carnivorans, we are both exactly the same thing: vermin that must be exterminated.
Number 2: Humans have no sense of smell
Since the last few entries in this list were rather serious, let's end it off light. This is quite silly. What do you think human noses are for if they can't smell? they just can't smell very well. Honestly, there's not much to say about this one.
Number 1: Learning about humans stops once you pass the recruiters aptitude test and are assigned to the field
This is the number one mistake I see recruiters making. You must remember that humans are very mysterious and poorly understood. Not to mention extremely unpredictable. Even after the 25 Earth years we have known about humans and studied them and their planet, many things are still unknown. Personally, despite my Constant research on humans, they still always manage to surprise me. You must remember that life is one big learning experience. Besides there are some things we may never learn about humans and Earth. For example, why are their magical powers so strong? and since they are so strong, why were the humans unable to utilize these powers until we showed them how? And what allowed their planet to stay hidden from view despite being in the middle of a densely populated galaxy up until 25 Earth years ago?

And that's all folks. Thank you to professor gygfreas yopolus for taking the time to help educate us all about the fascinating topic of humans. Tune in next week and subscribe to our newsletter to make sure you don't miss any of the latest news about humans, and all sorts of galactic events. Be sure check out some of our other articles here on AthasianNews.sand, Athas' number 1 most trusted news resource on the sandweb

[deathhiccup]

This is amazing, I love it

[ICantHandleChange]

So cool ! Thanks

[Yuri_the_botfly]

aw shucks, you guys

[ObscuredThicket]

I don't think I've seen anything like this before, you put a whole lot of time into the writing and I love it!!