TheComfortCorner | v.6

[fika.]

I honestly feel like most american kids don't appreciate what they have, living in a largely accepting and supportive country, when that's just something I could never even dream of.

I'll never be able to come out of the closet and I just have to suck it up and deal with that. :')

why do you feel that way? that's not a fair comment to say, because
i am sure a lot of people appreciate what they have because they
also go through a lot. if you feel so strongly about your country
and how they don't treat people in the LGBT+ community fairly,
move away when you're 18. nothing is stopping you from your dreams,
nothing whatsoever. just do what you want, do what your goals in
life are. good luck!

But I never actually see any of them appreciating any of what they already have, and to me that's so bizarre and even a little infuriating when I'd give so much to have even a tiny fraction of what is part of their daily lives..

Yeah, nothing, other than money and family and anxiety, language bareers, having nowhere to do in general, not even having a job or a finished education that could help me get a job, not to mention actually getting the permission to stay in a different country.. There's a lot stopping me, really.. It's never been as simple as "just leave", nor will it ever be, as much as I would like that..

listen, i'm only trying to help. the only thing stopping you is yourself.
yes, anxiety is a thing and it damn sucks, but i've learnt to suck
it up. i've moved around my whole life, creating anxiety that haunts
me every corner i turn. what's the language barrier? english? because
it seems like you can already speak it if you want to live in america.
there's also nothing stopping you from learning a language. ten years
old i was forced into a swedish school not knowing any of the language,
but i managed. you will manage. money may be a struggle, but learn
how to make it. sell things. create things. do whatever. make ideas
and sell them. there's limitless ways of earning money, so there's no
excuse for it. family, what's stopping you there? they should support
you on getting your dream. family put you before them. to put it
nicely, you're making up excuses. you just make up excuses because
you're afraid. there's nothing to be afraid of. it's your dream, your
ambition, the only thing stopping you is your excuses.
your country isn't the only thing dealing with problems to do with
the LGBT+ community. racists and homophobes exist everywhere.
people are too afraid to go to the gay prides because of bombing.
if you want a good place to live, live in the netherlands. i lived there
for three years, and they are probably the most supporting country
towards the community, holding a gay pride every year AND they
had the first legal marriage (everyone also speaks english very well).
no matter where you are, you'll encounter people who don't like people
that are different than them, and trust me it exists so much in America.
just good luck in life, and follow your dreams.

[britneyrox]

I honestly feel like most american kids don't appreciate what they have, living in a largely accepting and supportive country, when that's just something I could never even dream of.

I'll never be able to come out of the closet and I just have to suck it up and deal with that. :')

why do you feel that way? that's not a fair comment to say, because
i am sure a lot of people appreciate what they have because they
also go through a lot. if you feel so strongly about your country
and how they don't treat people in the LGBT+ community fairly,
move away when you're 18. nothing is stopping you from your dreams,
nothing whatsoever. just do what you want, do what your goals in
life are. good luck!

But I never actually see any of them appreciating any of what they already have, and to me that's so bizarre and even a little infuriating when I'd give so much to have even a tiny fraction of what is part of their daily lives..

Yeah, nothing, other than money and family and anxiety, language bareers, having nowhere to do in general, not even having a job or a finished education that could help me get a job, not to mention actually getting the permission to stay in a different country.. There's a lot stopping me, really.. It's never been as simple as "just leave", nor will it ever be, as much as I would like that..

I think that the important thing to remember is that bad, unaccepting people exist everywhere. I live in America and was too afraid to go to pride this year because of the bomb threats and the extreme religious organizations who placed themselves around the festival with signs threatening the LGBT community. Although I wasn't even at the festival, I avoided going outside my home when it occurred for personal safety, because there are bad people here, and everywhere in the world.

I don't think being infuriated at Americans who don't appreciate what they have is going to help you ultimately, being angry doesn't help anyone. The reality is that my friends here in America get kicked out of their houses and forced to support themselves at much too young an age just for their identities. Before marriage equality was legal, I worked for the bill and interacted with voters and legislators who disagreed with it, and the way some of those people reacted was demeaning, homophobic, and downright inappropriate. It happens here, it happens everywhere. I hope you'll realize that those people aren't worth your time and stress.

Yes, we in America are very lucky because, despite those hateful individuals, we also have supportive ones - and I don't know many Americans who don't appreciate that. I'd try not to generalize people who live here, that's pretty hurtful. But while you may not be able to see it, you have people who love and support you, too. With the glass-half-empty mindset you're in, you aren't going to be able to see that support through all of the negativity. My best advice is not to assume that everyone is against you. You're arguing with and pushing away blink, who is trying her best to help, so my guess is that you argue and push away people in your life as well. Let people support you, there are good and bad people everywhere, and if you see only the bad ones, you're going to have a tough time finding happiness no matter where you are located.

[Arthur Morgan]

Straight into it. Today my mum called me a "little rotter" because I wouldn't go to the vet with my dog and her. She said that I'm "a calming influence" but my dog is a dog. She doesn't think like that. I said that and she started with the "you're rotten", "you've been there since the beginning", "you're a little rotter". This wouldn't normally effect me so much. I'm generally thick skinned but today I was having a bad day (depression wise) and when I'm like this I take everything to heart. It also makes you just want to stay in and do nothing, which is why I didn't go, but my mum's got the mind set of "just go out anyway it'll make you feel better" which is something you really don't want to hear. When she left (with my sister instead) I started getting thoughts like "I am just a rotter. I'm a horrible, disgusting person." It just made me feel terrible. I sent her a text saying that it made me feel bad and I thought that if she read it when she was out she'd calm down (she gets kind of angry when I say things like that. "Disrespecting her") before she got home and would maybe even apologise. But she read it when she got home and went off her head. "Don't be so stupid. So I'm not allowed to say anything to you? Why are you so sensitive?". I told her to just use her head and think of what's she's going to say. If it sounds insulting, don't say it (thinking back it probably wasn't the right thing to say). At that, she started yelling and in the end decided that she just won't talk to me anymore.
I came up to my room and listened to music as I normally do to calm down and feel better but it didn't work so I went to bed and slept for the last few hours. I do this because when I sleep I have no emotions. However, when I woke up I had a huge headache and my jaw was sore.
Normally I would meet up with my friend after something like this (I wouldn't tell her but hanging out takes my mind off things) but she went on holiday yesterday morning and I feel really alone. I would talk to my two online friends but one has anxiety and gets stressed and I don't want him to stress. Then I'm not close enough to the other and when I used to talk to him about things like this, he didn't like it. I don't want either of them to think I'm looking for attention or lying or that they have to treat me like their walking on eggshells. As I said, normally I'm fine but it just wasn't a good day. I just want a hug and someone to talk it out with.

[coën]

Okay, I don't know where to start, so this might be a bit confusing to read.
Also, I don't know if I really need comfort, more like advice or something.
Here we go;

I just really want to leave this country.
Every time I come back here, I feel incredible discomfort and the need to leave.
Just cut all ties and travel.
But I can't and there's a real reason for it.
Finnish laws.
I can't leave, because I still have one year of mandatory education.
I know, it sounds like a piece of cake, but I can't go back there either.
Classrooms give me so much anxiety, because I can't leave.
I have to sit there for an hour or two and it's extremely scary for me.
It's not like I wouldn't want to finish my education and even study further, I just can't.
And yes, I am in therapy, but so far it hasn't really helped.
The only thing I've found truly helpful is traveling.
Last Thursday, immediately as I sat down on that seat in the airplane, I felt comfortable.
For the first time in months. Since the last time I left.

And I don't even have a problem with money. It's just that one year of school left.
I want to punch myself in the face for not being able to just go there and do it.

Like, there's so much to see in the world, but then there's one meaningless little thing holding me back.
I don't even know what I'd do for a living without a secondary degree, but I honestly don't care.
I'll find a way, do art or write a book or something.

I don't know if this made any sense, I just needed to rant a bit I guess.

[twisti]

Straight into it. Today my mum called me a "little rotter" because I wouldn't go to the vet with my dog and her. She said that I'm "a calming influence" but my dog is a dog. She doesn't think like that. I said that and she started with the "you're rotten", "you've been there since the beginning", "you're a little rotter". This wouldn't normally effect me so much. I'm generally thick skinned but today I was having a bad day (depression wise) and when I'm like this I take everything to heart. It also makes you just want to stay in and do nothing, which is why I didn't go, but my mum's got the mind set of "just go out anyway it'll make you feel better" which is something you really don't want to hear. When she left (with my sister instead) I started getting thoughts like "I am just a rotter. I'm a horrible, disgusting person." It just made me feel terrible. I sent her a text saying that it made me feel bad and I thought that if she read it when she was out she'd calm down (she gets kind of angry when I say things like that. "Disrespecting her") before she got home and would maybe even apologise. But she read it when she got home and went off her head. "Don't be so stupid. So I'm not allowed to say anything to you? Why are you so sensitive?". I told her to just use her head and think of what's she's going to say. If it sounds insulting, don't say it (thinking back it probably wasn't the right thing to say). At that, she started yelling and in the end decided that she just won't talk to me anymore.
I came up to my room and listened to music as I normally do to calm down and feel better but it didn't work so I went to bed and slept for the last few hours. I do this because when I sleep I have no emotions. However, when I woke up I had a huge headache and my jaw was sore.
Normally I would meet up with my friend after something like this (I wouldn't tell her but hanging out takes my mind off things) but she went on holiday yesterday morning and I feel really alone. I would talk to my two online friends but one has anxiety and gets stressed and I don't want him to stress. The I'm not close enough to the other and when I used to talk to him about it, he didn't like it. I don't want either of them to think I'm looking for attention or lying or that they have to treat me like their walking on eggshells. As I said, normally I'm fine but it just wasn't a good day. I just want a hug and someone to talk it out with.

Don't worry! You are perfect the way you are. Try to tell her that you do take things to heart sometimes and express how you feel. If she gets mad don't get mad back or walk out or give up. Let her express her feelings along with yours. Everything get better. As a sensitive person I do relate to you and know how you feel. You're not alone.

[Arthur Morgan]

Straight into it. Today my mum called me a "little rotter" because I wouldn't go to the vet with my dog and her. She said that I'm "a calming influence" but my dog is a dog. She doesn't think like that. I said that and she started with the "you're rotten", "you've been there since the beginning", "you're a little rotter". This wouldn't normally effect me so much. I'm generally thick skinned but today I was having a bad day (depression wise) and when I'm like this I take everything to heart. It also makes you just want to stay in and do nothing, which is why I didn't go, but my mum's got the mind set of "just go out anyway it'll make you feel better" which is something you really don't want to hear. When she left (with my sister instead) I started getting thoughts like "I am just a rotter. I'm a horrible, disgusting person." It just made me feel terrible. I sent her a text saying that it made me feel bad and I thought that if she read it when she was out she'd calm down (she gets kind of angry when I say things like that. "Disrespecting her") before she got home and would maybe even apologise. But she read it when she got home and went off her head. "Don't be so stupid. So I'm not allowed to say anything to you? Why are you so sensitive?". I told her to just use her head and think of what's she's going to say. If it sounds insulting, don't say it (thinking back it probably wasn't the right thing to say). At that, she started yelling and in the end decided that she just won't talk to me anymore.
I came up to my room and listened to music as I normally do to calm down and feel better but it didn't work so I went to bed and slept for the last few hours. I do this because when I sleep I have no emotions. However, when I woke up I had a huge headache and my jaw was sore.
Normally I would meet up with my friend after something like this (I wouldn't tell her but hanging out takes my mind off things) but she went on holiday yesterday morning and I feel really alone. I would talk to my two online friends but one has anxiety and gets stressed and I don't want him to stress. The I'm not close enough to the other and when I used to talk to him about it, he didn't like it. I don't want either of them to think I'm looking for attention or lying or that they have to treat me like their walking on eggshells. As I said, normally I'm fine but it just wasn't a good day. I just want a hug and someone to talk it out with.

Don't worry! You are perfect the way you are. Try to tell her that you do take things to heart sometimes and express how you feel. If she gets mad don't get mad back or walk out or give up. Let her express her feelings along with yours. Everything gets better. As a sensitive person, I do relate to you and know how you feel. You're not alone.

I'll give it a go. Thank you <3

[Thalassic]

listen, i'm only trying to help. the only thing stopping you is yourself.
yes, anxiety is a thing and it damn sucks, but i've learnt to suck
it up. i've moved around my whole life, creating anxiety that haunts
me every corner i turn. what's the language barrier? english? because
it seems like you can already speak it if you want to live in america.
there's also nothing stopping you from learning a language. ten years
old i was forced into a swedish school not knowing any of the language,
but i managed. you will manage. money may be a struggle, but learn
how to make it. sell things. create things. do whatever. make ideas
and sell them. there's limitless ways of earning money, so there's no
excuse for it. family, what's stopping you there? they should support
you on getting your dream. family put you before them. to put it
nicely, you're making up excuses. you just make up excuses because
you're afraid. there's nothing to be afraid of. it's your dream, your
ambition, the only thing stopping you is your excuses.
your country isn't the only thing dealing with problems to do with
the LGBT+ community. racists and homophobes exist everywhere.
people are too afraid to go to the gay prides because of bombing.
if you want a good place to live, live in the netherlands. i lived there
for three years, and they are probably the most supporting country
towards the community, holding a gay pride every year AND they
had the first legal marriage (everyone also speaks english very well).
no matter where you are, you'll encounter people who don't like people
that are different than them, and trust me it exists so much in America.
just good luck in life, and follow your dreams.

Its.. not an excuse.. and it honestly hurts so much to hear that every single time I try to talk about my problems..
I know you're trying to help, but anything along the lines of "suck it up" when it comes to mental illness really does not help, and I'd really appreciate if you didn't say that. It might have helped you, but I'm not you and years of trying to "suck it up" have just lead me to falling even deeper into the hole that is mental illness.

I don't understand how you can't see how money is an issue, because it's really the largest one. I don't have an income, I never have and my family of 5 are living off of a single person who works at a little under 3$ an hour. And I can't work due to school, and I can't quit school since that will mean I'll never get a degree to get anything more than above-minimum wage..
And I do try to sell stuff. I'm an artist, but if you've heard anything about "starving artists", you'd know that no one wants to buy our stuff for what its worth. If I try to sell work that took me over 8 hours to do, for more than 20$, hardly anyone would want that. It's just not an option, and it's not like I haven't been trying for years now.

The language barrier is that I live in an european country, and many other european countries aren't at all kind to people who don't speak their language fluently. Heck, many restaurants in my own country purposely make foreigners pay more just because they aren't local. It's a real problem. And going to america even for a short visit would cost thousands of dollars that I don't have. And staying there would need a visa and all that.. I don't see how any of it is simple at all.

Moving at all would mean leaving my family, and they would not support this. And I'm someone who really needs the support of others, so them denying this support for me would basically deny me the opportunity to just.. leave.

The problem isn't that there are a couple racists and homophobes here and there, the problem is that there are no support groups, no support anywhere. No acceoptance at all. No one supports he LGBT here. No one. I would say a good 95% are vocally very anti-gay, and the other 5% just don't care either way.. I really don't have anyone who would support me here. And it's not a matter of me not seeing them, it really is just that everyone here is anti-LGBT.

@britneyrox
I'm not assuming everyone is against me.. That's the reality here.. I'm convinced the only reason why I can keep my dignity, and along with that, my home and family and everything, is because I'm in the closet with no intention of coming out, as I don't want to be harmed.
And I'm not trying to push away blink.. I'm trying to explain that they misunderstand my situation. I'm not making up excuses, I'm just trying to explain where I'm coming from, but if that's all that my posts will be interpreted as, then please don't even bother replying, because now I feel even more hurt than before. It's just really not nice feeling like I'm not allowed to feel the way I am, or being made to feel like I'm making something up, or making up excuses or whatever, when that's not at all what I'm doing.. I want support, I've never wanted anything more, but when the support offered is not applicable to my situation, then what kind of support is it really? I want to be supported for what I'm experiencing, not being told that I'm making up excuses and that "it's not so bad", when you can only see it from an outside perspective..

[fika.]

listen, i'm only trying to help. the only thing stopping you is yourself.
yes, anxiety is a thing and it damn sucks, but i've learnt to suck
it up. i've moved around my whole life, creating anxiety that haunts
me every corner i turn. what's the language barrier? english? because
it seems like you can already speak it if you want to live in america.
there's also nothing stopping you from learning a language. ten years
old i was forced into a swedish school not knowing any of the language,
but i managed. you will manage. money may be a struggle, but learn
how to make it. sell things. create things. do whatever. make ideas
and sell them. there's limitless ways of earning money, so there's no
excuse for it. family, what's stopping you there? they should support
you on getting your dream. family put you before them. to put it
nicely, you're making up excuses. you just make up excuses because
you're afraid. there's nothing to be afraid of. it's your dream, your
ambition, the only thing stopping you is your excuses.
your country isn't the only thing dealing with problems to do with
the LGBT+ community. racists and homophobes exist everywhere.
people are too afraid to go to the gay prides because of bombing.
if you want a good place to live, live in the netherlands. i lived there
for three years, and they are probably the most supporting country
towards the community, holding a gay pride every year AND they
had the first legal marriage (everyone also speaks english very well).
no matter where you are, you'll encounter people who don't like people
that are different than them, and trust me it exists so much in America.
just good luck in life, and follow your dreams.

Its.. not an excuse.. and it honestly hurts so much to hear that every single time I try to talk about my problems..
I know you're trying to help, but anything along the lines of "suck it up" when it comes to mental illness really does not help, and I'd really appreciate if you didn't say that. It might have helped you, but I'm not you and years of trying to "suck it up" have just lead me to falling even deeper into the hole that is mental illness.

I don't understand how you can't see how money is an issue, because it's really the largest one. I don't have an income, I never have and my family of 5 are living off of a single person who works at a little under 3$ an hour. And I can't work due to school, and I can't quit school since that will mean I'll never get a degree to get anything more than above-minimum wage..
And I do try to sell stuff. I'm an artist, but if you've heard anything about "starving artists", you'd know that no one wants to buy our stuff for what its worth. If I try to sell work that took me over 8 hours to do, for more than 20$, hardly anyone would want that. It's just not an option, and it's not like I haven't been trying for years now.

The language barrier is that I live in an european country, and many other european countries aren't at all kind to people who don't speak their language fluently. Heck, many restaurants in my own country purposely make foreigners pay more just because they aren't local. It's a real problem. And going to america even for a short visit would cost thousands of dollars that I don't have. And staying there would need a visa and all that.. I don't see how any of it is simple at all.

Moving at all would mean leaving my family, and they would not support this. And I'm someone who really needs the support of others, so them denying this support for me would basically deny me the opportunity to just.. leave.

The problem isn't that there are a couple racists and homophobes here and there, the problem is that there are no support groups, no support anywhere. No acceoptance at all. No one supports he LGBT here. No one. I would say a good 95% are vocally very anti-gay, and the other 5% just don't care either way.. I really don't have anyone who would support me here. And it's not a matter of me not seeing them, it really is just that everyone here is anti-LGBT.

listen, you understood the first part of my message completely wrong. i'm sorry if i made you feel worse in any way because all i want to do is help people, because no one helped me when i struggled. i never told you in any shape or form to suck up your anxiety. i said i learnt to suck it up. learning to suck it up does not mean it's gone. it will always be with me. there will always be a part of me that doubts everything, overthinks everything, and i certainly still get panic attacks just from meeting up with a friend. i get anxious over walking into a chip shop and ordering a portion of chips. i get anxious walking past people on the opposite side of the street. i have anxiety, i will always have anxiety, and i have never gotten rid of it, i've just learnt to deal with it. i've learnt that i can't control everything, that i can't determine my future.

i've lived in europe for 10 years of my life, i've visited so many countries, and being an english speaker never have i been disrespected in any restaurant i've been to, and i've been to too many to count. everyone is friendly, everyone welcomes me and other tourists into their country. yes, i may be visiting the wrong parts of the continent since you say your country is rude, but many countries (the netherlands, sweden, norway, denmark, spain, germany, and more) are very supportive of it all. america isn't your only option, there are nearer and friendlier countries which will be cheaper.

you act as if i don't think money isn't an issue. i do see money is an issue. my own family struggled (and some even struggle) with money. i was fortunate to live abroad for 11 years of my life. it sucks that your family live off of a single person, it does, and i'm really sorry about that. it's good you make an effort. and it's good you've been trying. but don't give up. that is all i'm saying, and that's all i've been saying. do. not. give. up. on. your. dreams. try looking at a site called etsy, you're able to sell stuff there. look on many sites on ways to sell it. go to a very popular tourist attraction, some may want to buy your beautiful art work.

i get that your family may not support it. my uncle has done bugger all to stay in contact with me, or his own sister (my mother obviously). he's got such a low life he blocked her on facebook. he's jealous. that's it. but my mum managed it. she had such a close bond with my uncle when they were growing up, they were inseparable. but she left him, and she has gotten a better life out of it. she's returned. our family is as strong and as happy as ever. please talk to your family about it.

you can't just make up a random percentage. the estimate is 1 in 10 people are in the lgbt+ community. you're not the only one in latvia. in 2016 studies show that there are around 1,955,742 people living in your country (excluding any immigrants). if the studies are around correct that there are 1 in 10 people in the community, around 195,574.2 people are in that community beside you. you're not alone. people may be afraid to come out thinking the same reason, but you're not alone. 195,574.2 people. that's a hell of a lot. people all over the world are fighting for our community's chance in showing who we truly are, so hold on and sit tight, stay strong.

you are allowed to feel the way you are, you're not making things up (except the percentage). i'm supporting you. i'm giving you advice. this whole community supports you. millions and millions and millions are struggling just like you, but we're all fighting for the same thing. i no way ever meant to come across as rude or to hurt your feelings. i'm only trying to give you support. good luck, once again, i'm sorry if i made you feel worse. i'm only trying to help.

Okay, I don't know where to start, so this might be a bit confusing to read.
Also, I don't know if I really need comfort, more like advice or something.
Here we go;

I just really want to leave this country.
Every time I come back here, I feel incredible discomfort and the need to leave.
Just cut all ties and travel.
But I can't and there's a real reason for it.
Finnish laws.
I can't leave, because I still have one year of mandatory education.
I know, it sounds like a piece of cake, but I can't go back there either.
Classrooms give me so much anxiety, because I can't leave.
I have to sit there for an hour or two and it's extremely scary for me.
It's not like I wouldn't want to finish my education and even study further, I just can't.
And yes, I am in therapy, but so far it hasn't really helped.
The only thing I've found truly helpful is traveling.
Last Thursday, immediately as I sat down on that seat in the airplane, I felt comfortable.
For the first time in months. Since the last time I left.

And I don't even have a problem with money. It's just that one year of school left.
I want to punch myself in the face for not being able to just go there and do it.

Like, there's so much to see in the world, but then there's one meaningless little thing holding me back.
I don't even know what I'd do for a living without a secondary degree, but I honestly don't care.
I'll find a way, do art or write a book or something.

I don't know if this made any sense, I just needed to rant a bit I guess.

one year. one year left. you can do it. we're all rooting you on. it's hard struggling with mental disorders (as i slightly mentioned above). do whatever your heart wants. do not give up. you have the support, you have the dreams to do it, so you can. i'm glad you felt comfortable, but i'm sorry you feel uncomfortable. but you only have a year left. you can hold on until then. try talking to teachers about your situation, maybe you can sit in a smaller and quieter room. good luck <3

[leverage]

I get horribly panicked when I can't find things that are important to me, and of course I managed to misplace my music, which I desperately need right now. It's my biggest escape through my daily life, and I have no clue where it is. Which means my anxiety is acting up. I've looked everywhere I can think to even look, and it isn't anywhere. With my anxiety I'm beginning to drive myself to a panic over this. It's stupid, I should be able to handle myself, but there's no where I haven't looked yet and it's not anywhere.

[fika.]

I get horribly panicked when I can't find things that are important to me, and of course I managed to misplace my music, which I desperately need right now. It's my biggest escape through my daily life, and I have no clue where it is. Which means my anxiety is acting up. I've looked everywhere I can think to even look, and it isn't anywhere. With my anxiety I'm beginning to drive myself to a panic over this. It's stupid, I should be able to handle myself, but there's no where I haven't looked yet and it's not anywhere.

i have loads of things (breath with it) that can help with your anxiety and panic attacks.

take a deep breath. i'm sure you will find it soon. ask others around you if they've seen it. i hope you find it soon! good luck <3