Hitori's story - To The End of Emptiness

[SilverSamurai]

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Ch 1 - The Meeting
Ch 2 - Capture
Ch 3 - Change
Ch 4 - Hitori's Journal
Ch 5 - Truth
Ch 6 - Come What May
Ch 7 - Rebirth

　　"Zimri-" he spoke calmly. He took a slow step forward and ran his paw through my fur, just like he had when I was young. "I'm just doing what's best for you-" "Best for me? What do you know about me?! You don't care about me, you never have!" "Zimri, please. Just hear me out-" "Why should I? You're just a-" "I know, I know. But we're running out of time." "out of...?" The world blurred, and my legs became unsteady. I grip my head tightly, letting out a low growl in frustration as I try to control the painful throbs in my head. I can't follow...Why is this happening...? "Tragic, isn't it~?" A sing-songed voice echoed from across the clearing, and Hitori jolted upright at the familiar voice. He turned to grab me tight, staring wild eyed into my own. The only sound I could hear was his hushed and frantic voice close to my ears, "Zimri... I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner, just maybe..." He jerked away suddenly and pushed me forward, and I ran. I wasn't sure where I was going, or what was happening, but I knew I had to get away. My mind tried to keep up, but the throbbing in my head only got stronger. Soon the world started to cave in around me, and I was fading. Falling. I'm falling. My conscious soon followed.

[SilverSamurai]

　　I was a normal viscetling. I bounced and stumbled around, causing trouble for my parents without a care in the world. Climb this, touch that, occasionally learn from experience that some berries shouldn’t be eaten. It was a normal childhood, and as I got older my parents began giving me more freedom to wander our territory. Oh, how great that felt! To be able to run free and see the what the world had to offer with my own eyes. It was a cool evening in mid summer when I first saw him. A large viscet who was my opposite in every way. He was several years older than myself, and his fur was dark and unmarked. I would have mistaken him as a shadow if he didn’t have a red silk tied around his left arm. And his eyes. His eyes contrasted his appearance completely. They were bright and reflected the suns glow, and the first time I saw him I was caught by those bright glowing orbs. He noticed me, but moved along and I had to tell somebody. My parents weren’t too thrilled to hear about a strange viscet wandering about our territory, and Father would often patrol the make sure he wasn’t a threat to our family. But of course, the dark viscet was never seen. Not by my parents at least, but I saw him. Every time I went out, I would see him watching me, but I wasn’t scared. I didn’t understand the feeling, but he didn’t seem dangerous to me.
　　As I got older and my legs got stronger, I began going out more and more, sometimes purposefully looking for the dark viscet. My parents warned me about it, but I just couldn’t shake those eyes from my memory and only sought them out more. I tried to explain the feeling to my parents, but they would’t listen and only tried to keep me from going out. I knew they were only trying to protect me, but I couldn’t shake a strange feeling I had about the dark viscet. I got into a fight with my parents one morning, and I ran off blindly in anger. And that’s when I met him. In my fuming state, I tripped and slid into a clearing. Coughing and shaking dust from my fur, I looked around and he was there, observing me from across the clearing. I was shocked, and the other seemed to be even more so, but didn’t move an inch. We stood in silence for a few moments, unsure of where to begin, and his voice startled me when he spoke up, “Zimri” he began, “that was careless of you. You shouldn’t run off like that.” I felt a chill down my spine, but I couldn’t find myself to be scared of him even in this situation. I tilted my ears back and got to my feet before I responded to him, “How do you know my name...?” “I’ve heard your parents yell after you a few times. That’s you, isn’t it? Zimri?” I was stunned. I didn’t think my parents had ever yelled for me, but I could have just blocked them out, not wanting to listen to them. I nodded slowly and took a step forward to get a closer look at the dark viscet, but he only took an equal step back. I stopped and pointed my ears forward towards him, “Who are you...? I’ve seen you around plenty of times.” “Hitori” He was quick to answer, in a sharp voice that echoed throughout the clearing. “And what are you doing here, Hitori?” My reply was quick as well, and I hadn’t meant for it to come out that challenging. “That, young one, I can not tell you.” And with that took his exit, merging with the bushes and becoming a mere shadow in the forest. I was confused, but at least I knew his name now. He didn’t seem threatening, but something was off about him that I couldn’t grasp...
　　

　　We met again a few days later. He was sitting quietly in the shade of a tree, and I almost missed him entirely. “Hitori!” I called over to him, and he perked up immediately. Shocked to have been found out so quickly, Hitori took a few steps from the shade to expose himself to me, but said nothing. “There you are! I’ve been looking for you.” He seemed stunned, his eyes went wide and his ears twitched. He looked down at me and offered a calm voice. “Why were you looking for me, young one?” It was my turn to be confused, and I looked away from him to try to think of a clever response. I couldn’t think of one, so I just shrugged and mumbled, “Because I wanted to see you”. Stunned, Hitori only stared down at me before letting out a gentle chuckle. He turned to leave, but looked over his shoulder and responded in a low voice, “I’m not someone you go out looking for, kid.” and he was gone as quickly as he had been found. My fur stood on end as I tried to process what the other had just said, but his words only made him more of a mystery. A mystery for me to figure out! I rushed home early, to my parents’ surprise and relief, and began to think of all the things I was going to say to him the next time we met.

　　It was close to a month before we saw each other again. Well, since I’ve seen him anyway. Hitori seemed to be dozing off in a thin stream of light, the cool light seeping into his dark pelt to provide a bit of warmth in the chilled evening. I carefully wandered over to him and sat a few feet away from his body and looked around. Nearby, there was a small bag with a few items in it, and there was what looked to be a journal sticking out the top. I assume that Hitori travels with them, and my gaze shifted back to the dark viscet at my feet. Leaning down to sniff him, he definitely smelled different from other viscets I’ve met, so I assume he’s from far away. But why is he wandering around here? I lifted my head to the sky and watched the sun hanging in the sky, its soft light turning everything it touched a light orange as the moon began to steal its place in the sky. A yelp startled me and I jumped to my feet and looked down, Hitori was wide eyed and staring at me, and he was breathing hard. “What are you doing here?!” he rasped out between breaths, though his voice didn’t seem threatening. “I...” Why was I here? “I’m not sure.” I admitted and hung my head. The other calmed down but still backed away from me. His mouth opened but quickly closed, as if he was about to say something, before slowly saying, “were you looking for me again?” I nodded and he let out a heavy sigh and laid down again, his head resting on his paws and his tail wrapped around his body protectively. It was times like these when I wish I could do the same, but I wasn’t born as lucky. “Why are you here” Hitori tried again, his voice low and quiet. I laid down myself and rolled onto my back, flailing my arms and legs into the air like an excited puppy. I grinned, “’Cuz I wanted to ask you a few things!” “Don’t expect a straight answer from me, kid.” came Hitori’s quick and cold reply, but I ignored him. “What are you doing out here? This territory belongs to my parents, so it’s not a surprise that I’m here, but why are you here then?”
Hitori didn’t move, but answered after a long moment of silence, “There are some things I need to do here.” came his slow reply. I rolled to my stomach and looked over to him, confused, “like?” “Once again, I can not tell you,” And the conversation was over. He didn’t try to move away from me as I inched over to him, and I nudge him with a careful paw, “Hey, Hitori?” He sighed, “What?” “Can we be friends?” He didn’t respond immediately, but opened one eye to look at me. I offered a kind smile and he raised his head to give me his full attention. His response was sharp and calculated, “Is that what you really want?” I was confused about his question, doesn’t everyone want more friends? I really should take my parents advice about his guy, but I just can’t seem to get him out of my head... “Yes!” I was practically bouncing in place, yet he remained emotionless. “Then...” He began and continued only after a moment of thinking, “We shall be friends, if that is what you want.”

-_-_-

　　I grew older and my parents saw less and less of me. My hind legs were strong and fully supported me, and soon it would be time to move out of the den completely. That was one the the things that scared me. Where would I go? Where should I go? My mind throbbed from the thought and I shook my head. I called out a good bye to my parents for the day and set out towards wherever Hitori was. I was much older now, and the more I thought back at my younger days, the more I realized I should have listened to my parents about that viscet. He was the very definition of suspicious, and if I didn't know him now, then he would definitely scare me away. As a few years went by, we grew closer. Well, I tried to offer friendship but he only ever nodded and even occasionally nudge me with his nose or his shoulder. I spoke my mind to him and felt comfortable around him, though he never did the same on his part. Rather, he seemed as distant and cold as the first time we had met. Shouldn't he at least try to get along with me?I've told him so much about myself, it feels kinda weird to know so little about him... I called out when he came into sight, and he glanced over his shoulder with those piercing eyes of his. "What now?" He said dryly, flicking his tail towards me. I stopped a few feet from him and worked to catch my breath, desperately thinking of something to say to him. I thought back to my earlier problem, and decided to test my luck. "I want to live with you." Hitori's eyes went wide and he froze, like a deer in headlights. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, no words coming out. There were no words to say. Hitori flattened his ears and took a step towards me, "Why would you want to live with someone like me? you hardly know me!" It was true. I hardly knew him, and yet... "I-I feel myself drawn to you..." I could only tell the truth. I looked to the ground, my face felt warm and I wasn't quite sure why I was so embarrassed. After a few moments I stole a glance upward and saw the other viscet staring off somewhere, his eyes distant and cold as always, though now they seemed... different. I couldn't explain it, but there was a different kind of look in his eyes. Would I dare describe it as 'warm'?

[SilverSamurai]

　　Once I was old enough to live on my own, I quickly said good bye to my parents and started traveling with Hitori. We don’t have a ‘home’, but home is wherever we make it. We’re constantly moving from place to place and only settle in one spot for a week or two at a time. It’s comforting in a way, but it’s tiring. When we settle down in a new spot, Hitori always takes out his journal and jots some things in it before quickly putting it back into his small bag. I always wonder what he’s writing, but he always shoos me away or ignores me, and it only makes me more curious. But I drop it and eventually forget about it until the next time I see him writing something in it. He’s an artist, too, and he often draws our surroundings and other funny looking viscets. It’s for memory and travel markers, I think.
　　Hitori always curls up at the base of a large tree, overlooking the rest of the small area we call home for the next week or two. I’m not sure why, but he always seems like he’s looking for something, or perhaps watching and waiting for something. It hurts to see him so tense and on edge all the time, but I never bring it up to him. I assume he wouldn’t tell me anyways. We’re relatively quiet around each other; we have a general understanding of each other and only talk when we need to. But I want to get to know him better. I tell him everything, yet he always keeps everything to himself. How many secrets does he have? Will I ever know a single one of them? I often drift into sleep thinking about the day Hitori will finally open up to me.
　　We’ve been traveling together for a good 3 years, and I’m no longer a short and innocent viscetling, but an almost full grown viscet with markings that would make anybody jealous. Even though I’m no longer a child, Hitori always keeps an eye on me and is even somewhat protective over me. I don’t want to be thought of as a child, but in a way it’s kinda... Reassuring, to know that someone has your back. Though something kept coming up in the back of my mind, something that only Hitori could answer. I wasn’t sure how to go about the question, but I’m sure he would brush it off as usual if I didn’t say it right. But I had to try...
　　“Hitori,” I called over to the dark figure near by one night. I waited for his hum of a response before I continued, “Do you mind if I... ask you a question?” Hitori was laying in the middle of the clearing, brushing the knots out of his dark fur. He looked up at me with a curious gaze and slowly nodded, adding after, “I can’t guarantee you an answer though.” I chuckled, “Of course”. I moved closer to him and sat down a few feet from the other male. I shuffled my paws nervously and my mind raced. how do I go about asking him something like this...? “Zimri, you ok?” His voice jolted me out of my mental simulations and I sighed. Better be straightforward and honest, I guess. I started slowly, not looking at him, “Why do we have to keep moving? Can’t we just stay in one spot and have a real home?” “No” came Hitori’s immediate response, “we can’t”. “Why not?” “Nothing you should be concerned about, young one.” I puffed my chest at his comment and huffed, “I’m not that young anymore! I’m an adult now and I-” He cut me off with a sharp voice, “An adult who decided to leave his parents to live with a stranger he hardly knows anything about.” I opened my mouth to retort, but I was speechless. I hung my head and allowed him to continue, “You wanted to live with me, and now you are. But living with me means moving about constantly, you chose this life for yourself.” He slowly got to his feet, but I didn’t look at him. I didn’t have anything to say, and I could feel my eyes growing watery. He’s right... I shouldn’t have... His warm embrace shocked me, and I tensed for a second before giving into him. I hugged him back and sobbed lightly into his shoulder, and he let me. His voice was soft and close to my ear, “Just live, Zimri. Live and be happy.” Live and be happy? That sounded like a cheesy movie line, but I couldn’t care less at this point. I gripped him tighter and he stroked my fur until I calmed down.
-_-_-
Time went on, and we continued moving. I've lost count how many different places we've made our 'home', but I still had an uncomfortable feeling about this whole situation. Hitori would lead the way to a small hollow or clearing and quickly inspect the area, then he would jot down a few notes in his notebook before laying down and resting for the night. We would hunt and store food for the week, then we would get up and move again. It was an endless cycle, and it was tiring. Not that traveling wasn't nice, it was actually amazing to see this much of the world, I just wish I knew why we were traveling so much. I never brought it up after that one night though, afraid I would get the same snap of an answer. Though after that night, he's been acting different. I can't really put my paw on it, but his movements are a bit slower, and he always seems to have an eye on me. Not that that's any different than before, but after 5 years of knowing each other I'd think he wouldn't have to watch me so much. Doesn't he trust me? At least a little bit? It hurt, and I wanted to get to know him, but the closer I got to him, the farther he distanced himself from me.
　　Though as I became an adult, we did eventually become closer. Hitori disappeared for a few days, and I was scared. I wasn't scared that something happened to him, I knew better than anyone else that he could handle himself in any situation, yet I worried that he had finally snapped and left me. I was actually afraid to be left alone. Where would I go from here? He was all I've every had, all I've ever known... But he did come back a few nights later, and he looked the same as when he left, though his actions were different. He would welcome me and offer conversations, which was strange coming from him. He seemed more open and less tense, and I couldn't help but notice the red ribbon on his arm was gone. He looked strange without it, but I didn't ask him about it. The rest of the week that we spent in that clearing was relaxed and comfortable, and we would often daydream and drift into sleep together.

[SilverSamurai]

　　I awoke to Hitori frantically calling my name. "Zimri! Come on, we've gotta get out of here!" I yawned and blinked the sleep from my eye, but made no immediate effort to get up. Hitori hurried over to me and nudged me to my feet and continued to gather our few belongings. I was used to it, in a way. We moved around so much, and even though I still didn't know why, it felt normal to me. As long as I was with him, I felt ok. I watched as the dark viscet hurriedly shoved his journal into his small bag and tied it shut before looking over the clearing with a careful gaze. His fur was a mess, he probably woke up a few moments before myself, but I said nothing and suppressed a laugh at his hair sticking out in every direction. It was a chilly morning, and a cool breeze sent a shiver through my body. The days have been getting colder, and the evidence was the crunching of leaves as the dark viscet continued to rush about the clearing. I looked up to the sky and sighed, how long has it been? How long have we been together like this? Hitori's voice startled me out of my thoughts, and I turn my attention towards the male who was now standing next to me, his fur lightly brushing against mine.
　　"Where are we going this time?" "Away" Hitori was quick to answer, as always. "Can't we just stay here? We've been in this spot for about a month, it's nice here." I offered him in a calm voice, but he only looked down at me and shook his head, "We've gotta go," was his only response, he took a few steps away before waiting for me to follow. I hesitantly follow him, unsure of his sudden rush to leave our clearing. I was used to it, spending a week or two in one place before moving to another 'safer' place, but this time felt a bit different. Hitori seemed more frantic to leave this spot, distancing himself more than usual. I didn't hate this lifestyle, but I at least want an answer. An answer more than Hitori shrugging his shoulders and saying 'because it has to be like this'. By the time I had finished that thought, the dark viscet was swishing his tail impatiently and scanning the clearing for the last time, making sure there were no traces of them left behind. I caught up to him and he let out a huff of approval, and we set off to find another place to call home. We usually didn't speak when we traveled, well, he didn't. I would occasionally offer a conversation, only for Hitori to either ignore it or make a few monotone comments and let it drop. I was happy, though. I was always happy when I was around him.

-_-_-_-

　　About a year after that, I felt myself drifting farther away from him. Well, I loved him, but he has never shown any sort of affection towards me, hardly even friendship. It was true that he was overprotective of me, but were we really friends? It was a chilly spring evening, the warm breeze carried the songs of hopeful birds and breathed life into the wildflowers that littered the sides of the clearing they currently called 'home'. I glanced over at him where he lay on his back in a streak of sunlight, his dark pelt absorbing every ounce of warmth the pale sunlight offered him. I stood slowly and walked over to where he lay. My hind legs were strong from the years of traveling, but I still wasn't as tall as he was. And I was thin. Not a bad kind of thin, but I had a narrow frame that I use to maneuver myself to my advantage. Years, I thought, still not quite believing that I've spent most of my life traveling with Hitori. Realization hit me as I look over his sleeping form, and I felt scared. I've spent nearly my whole life with this viscet, yet I know so little about him. Where did he come from? Why is he always running? Why doesn't he wasn't to get to know me? This viscet knows every detail of my life: where and when I was born, my parents, my experiences, my strengths, my weaknesses. Yet, he couldn't care less about my favorite foods, my past times, or even who I really am. I took a step away from him, my mind suddenly racing from my bottled up thoughts unexpectedly surfacing.
I carefully wandered over to our pile of things near the base of a shady tree. We didn't have much, but it was little things like a little crystal I had found in a cave, a stick that no matter how much Hitori denied it and rolled his eyes, I knew was a magic wand. A broken comb that Hitori had found near a human village a while back. And the journal. I knew he had always kept a journal, I've seen him sketch in it and take notes, and I'd always assumed that he was keeping track of the weather or the places we've stayed for long periods of time, but e would never actually let me see it. 'you wouldn't understand', or 'it's classified' was his responses when I would ask about it, and it hurt. "But we're best friends!" I would say, something in me hoping that he would give in at least once, "you can tell me anything!" but despite all my desperate pleas, he would only shake his head and say lowly, "you'd understand some day". His eyes were always distant and empty when he said things like that, and I could never bring myself to continue the conversation after seeing him like that. But now was different. Hitori wasn't around to tell me otherwise, and I've been living in silence for too long. I glanced over my shoulder at the dark form in the clearing, the sun now hung low in the sky and tinted everything it touched in an orange glow. I had to hurry. I grab Hitori's journal and expose all of its secrets.

[SilverSamurai]

Entry #1
I've just left to find subject 226. I haven't been given an exact location to his whereabouts, but it shouldn't prove to be too much of a problem.

Entry #2
Subject 226 has been located and found. He is's still young, but testing his limits already. With him wandering like this, capture should be easy.

Entry #3
226 has noticed me and continues to seek me out. As long as I keep my identity a secret, minimal contact should be fine.

Entry #4
226 spends more time with me than he should. I tried to warn him off, I don't think he'll listen. He never does.

Entry #5
226 has snuck up on me and and almost found out my identity. He seems oblivious to his situation, and only seeks out friendship. Is that allowed? I guess it couldn't hurt...

Entry #6
I hate to say that I'm growing rather fond of subject 226. I'm not sure if I will be able to finish the mission if he continues to manipulate me like this.

Entry #7
Subject 22- er... Zimri is growing into a fine young viscet. He is still oblivious to his condition, and I'm not sure I should tell him at this point.

Entry #8
I give up. I thought this mission would be easy, but I miscalculated my own feelings. Mission has failed, and I will not be returning to The Lab with Subject 226. I will leave tonight to update the council of the mission status.

Entry #9
I managed to escape with my life and am deemed a traitor among my colleagues. The Lab still wants Subject 226, but I won't let them take him. When I returned Zimri seemed relieved and happy to see me, though I was met with no questions from him.

Entry #10
The Lab has located our position, and we barely managed to escape the area in time. They're hot on our trail now, and we will have to move farther and more often to stay safe.

Entry #11
Zimri seems to have grown rather fond of me. I'm not sure why he sticks around, but I doubt he has figured anything out yet. As it should be. He shouldn't have to get tangled up in this mess. Yet...

Entry #12
I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Zimri is strong and not by any means dumb. I don't want to leave him, but I'm only tying him down at this point. I will leave at dawn.

[SilverSamurai]

　　I dropped the journal, my paws shaking. I stand in shock, not knowing what's real anymore. Is that all I really am? An experiment? I grab my head and feel the warm tears running down my face. "Zimri?" Hitori's voice was soft and a bit sleepy, but it echoed in the quiet, now dark clearing. I lift my head, my thoughts hazy and my eyes blurry from the tears. I didn't know how to confront him, how to ask him about any of the things that were now running wild in my head. But I felt alone. And above anything else, I wanted answers.
I turned to face him, and he tilted his head when he saw my expression. "Zimri?" He tried again, but froze when he saw his journal at my feet. His eyes narrowed and I felt a wave of anger wash over me, and I lunged at him to pin him to the cold earth. "Explain yourself Hitori! Who am I? Who am I to you? I-" He cut me off, his voice rising above my own. "Calm down, I understand that you're upset and I should have told you sooner, I just.." He trailed off, and I challenged him when he said nothing. "You were just a coward! Always running away and never facing your problems-" "You wouldn't understand! I was never-" "Then tell me! Explain yourself until I understand!" I was overcome by another wave of tears, and I felt my breath catching into sobs. I release the dark male from my grasp, yet he made no immediate attempt to get to his feet. "Zimri..." He slowly got up and reached out to me, but I turned away. His voice was calm, and he started his confession, "Listen, you deserve to know this. I'm sorry... I really should have told you sooner.-

　　"It was around the time you were born, a viscet research group caught wind of a viscetling with a rare genetic mutation along with an extraordinary coat pattern. The group wanted to capture the viscetling and bring it to The Lab to run some tests on its genetic structure, and to use it to further their understanding of genetics of mutations and marking inheritance. The Lab has tried several subjects with no success. My mission was to retrieve Subject 226, child of Avis and Ezio, Zimri. The viscetling had a rare mutation inherited from neither of its parents, and The Lab wanted answers. I was sent out by The Lab to observe the viscetling and eventually capture it and bring it back with me, and nothing more. But over time, you grew on me... You were persistent and nothing like the other missions..." Hitori paused and looked down, a tear threatening to fall from his eye. He wiped it away and looked into my eyes, and for the first time since I've known I'm, the bright crystal orbs were full of emotion. I, on the other hand, was still fuming. How could he? I was just a number all along? My chest felt tight, and I thought I was going to throw up. My mind raced with questions and insults, but I was speechless. My mouth was dry. And above everything else, my heart ached. Hitori continued, "Seeing you keep coming back to me stirred something deep within me, and I knew I was slowly losing my resolve to finish the mission. I couldn't. I quit the mission and was deemed a threat by The Lab, and now they're after both of us..." I had heard enough. Something still wasn't right, and I didn't want to be in the dark any longer. "Leave" I said quietly, almost to myself. My voice was shaking, and I wiped my now puffy eyes with the back of my arm before I stood tall in front of him. "Leave," I repeated in a firmer, steadier voice. Hitori stood wide eyed at me, not moving a step forward nor back. I continued in a level voice, "You were planning on leaving in the morning, right? Good riddance." I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. Part of me wanted to take it all back and embrace the dark viscet, but the other part of me knew the other male was dangerous and didn't deserve to be be forgiven.
　　"Zimri-" he spoke calmly. He took a slow step forward and ran his paw through my fur, just like he had when I was young. "I'm just doing what's best for you-" "Best for me? What do you know about me?! You don't care about me, you never have!" "Zimri, please. Just hear me out-" "Why should I? You're just a-" "I know, I know. But we're running out of time." "out of...?" The world blurred, and my legs became unsteady. I grip my head tightly, letting out a low growl in frustration as I try to control the painful throbs in my head. I can't follow...Why is this happening...? "Tragic, isn't it~?" A sing-songed voice echoed from across the clearing, and Hitori jolted upright at the familiar voice. He turned to grab me tight, staring wild eyed into my own. The only sound I could hear was his hushed and frantic voice close to my ears, "Zimri... I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner, just maybe..." He jerked away suddenly and pushed me forward, and I ran. I wasn't sure where I was going, or what was happening, but I knew I had to get away. My mind tried to keep up, but the throbbing in my head only got stronger. Soon the world started to cave in around me, and I was fading. Falling. I'm falling. My conscious soon followed.

[SilverSamurai]

　　I awoke in a cold, dark room. There was a thin stream of light coming from a small window near the ceiling, and I was scared. I sat up slowly, the throbbing in my head coming in steady, shallow thumps. I grab my head and my body jerks forward, a realization coming over me. Hitori. What happened to me? Who was that viscet who startled Hitori so badly? "You've finally woken up," came a voice from the doorway. It was hauntingly familiar, and I immediately recognized it as the one from the night before. "Where am I?" I spat out, trying to sound intimidating but failing miserably. The other viscet remained hidden in the doorway, but spoke out in a steady voice. "Not even a guess? Haven't you been informed about your condition? Surely Hitori must have been useful for something." At Hitori's mention, my blood began to boil again. Emotions rushing through me and I wasn't sure what exactly I felt, but I snarled and growled quickly at the other, "Where's Hitori?" The other viscet let out a barking laugh. It startled me, but the echo faded and he replied in a sing-songed voice, "Ah, was he your friend? I tried to warn him, but it really was his downfall in the end~."
It felt like a weight had hit me square in the chest, and I repeated his words in a shaky voice. "was...?" My head throbbed painfully again and I felt unsteady. I laid down again to steady the queasiness in my stomach. My throat felt tight. My mouth was dry. And I didn't know what would happen. The other viscet's voice rang painfully in my ears before he took his leave, "I'll be back in a few hours. I have to finish... Disposing of some things that are no longer needed." My stomach lurched, and darkness engulfed me once more.

-_-_-_-

　　I woke up feeling a bit better. The throbbing in my head had stopped and my stomach settled. The only thing that stayed was the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I sat up again with better luck than before, and managed to look around my surroundings more clearly this time. The room was pretty small and smelled damp, but not crowded. There was a small metal desk on the far side of the room with a few papers scattered on it, and a metal folding chair knocked over not too far from the desk. The door had a narrow frame and upon further inspection, was bolted shut. I got to my feet and stumbled a bit, they were still a bit shaky but I steadied myself quickly. I carefully make my way over to the metal table and glance over the papers, not sure of what I would find. 'Subject 226' was scribbled on the tops of the papers and there were a few notes and checks, but overall it was pretty jumbled. I sighed and looked at the metal door in any hopes of escaping. Locks were firmly bolted and there was no hopes of budging even one of them. I heard footsteps approaching my room, and I quickly scramble back to the bed to pretend I was still unconscious. There were a few high pitched button noises and a click, and the bolts loosened and the door creaked open. I heard two viscets discussing something as they walked in, one of them I recognized as the one who had encountered a few hours before.
　　"-but we have him now! We should start the tests immediately!" "Not when there is so much adrenaline in his system. It could throw off some data, but soon." The second voice was deeper and more calm, but equally as cold as the first viscet. "What did you do with the body?" "The traitor?" "yeah" Traitor? Were they talking about... "I've disposed of it. Unless I should have kept it for research as well?" "No need, though his sudden emotional imbalance would have been interesting to look into." There was a chuckle, and the footsteps got closer to me. "And what should we do about Subject 226 right now?" "Leave him to wake. We will start the tests afterwards. Come, would you like come coffee?" Footsteps exited the room, but the door remained open. I slowly opened my eyes and pointed my ears towards the door, and when I was sure there was no one in the room I raised my head towards the door. Quickly scanning the room, I scrambled to my feet and quietly rushed to the doorframe. I peek my head out the door and see the two large viscets striding down the corridor in white lab coats. I did notice the red silk tied around their left arms, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with the memory of Hitori. I shook my head to clear the thought from my mind, and made sure there were no other viscets around before dashing out of my room and hiding under a table across the room. I pressed myself to the floor in attempt to hide myself further, but I knew with my fur, I could never really hide anywhere. I had a moment to recollect my thoughts, and part of me wanted to go looking for Hitori, but part of me knew that he was gone. I didn't want to accept it just yet, and my chest tightened at the thought. After glancing around again, I ran into the opposite corridor, in search of an exit. I stayed on all fours, and even though it's sightly uncomfortable, I'm more balanced like this due to my tail, or lack of for that matter, and I can stay low and hopefully out of sight.
Muffled voices and light clanging noises filled the halls, and I flatten my ears. Adrenaline rushed through my veins once more, and my mind raced with the possibility of getting caught. My fur stood on end and I could hear my heart thumping in my chest, but I couldn't stop it. I can't stop. Not now. The voices got louder the farther I ran and my fir stood on end, but somehow I felt like I would get through this. I grasped onto that shred of hope and turned the corner. I found myself in front of the control room, and I suddenly knew exactly what I had to do.

　　Slipping into the currently vacant room, I stated myself in front of the fancy screens and keyboards. Like this, I could overlook the entire facility and control some of the machinery in various rooms. My heart dropped as I saw the two scientists in lab coats slowly approach my room. What would they do when they find me gone? I have to stop them. But how... Without thinking, I scanned the buttons littering the desk and click one of them. A door shut. I wasn't sure where, but it wasn't the one I wanted. Pressing another one, a flash from another room, but still not my room. Growing frustrated, I scan each room displayed to me and run out into the hallway, seeking out one room in particular. The incineration room in the basement. My claws skid on the slick floor, and I bounce off the wall from my speed. Not bothered in the least but it, I continue to run faster than I ever have down the stairs, passing several scientists who merely glance over at me. I burst through the doors, thankful that it was empty. I didn't have time to look over the buttons, but I pressed every one of them I could reach. I switched every setting to high, and I could feel the room already heating up. I dashed out of the room and back up the stairs, not daring to look over my shoulder at the crackling and sizzling coming from the room I had escaped seconds ago. The fire alarm startled me and rang in my ears, the flashing lights disorientating my already limited vision, and I felt light headed. My muscles ached and screamed for me to stop, but I knew I couldn't I wouldn't. I had to live. Live and be happy, just like Hitori had told me to. But how could I be happy without him now..? I wasn't going to think about that right now, and I focused on escaping. I heard voices rising and shouting from various rooms, but I couldn't make out any words. Just frantic yelling to one another and shuffled feet running throughout the building. The building shook suddenly and a shockwave of air knocked me off my feet. An explosion, and then another. Scrambling to my feet and continuing to run, I pass the two scientists who were in my room earlier. They were too busy running to notice me, and I shoot past them in a flurry of fur. Another explosion, this one stronger, and the building's temperature was rising by the second. Turning one last corner, I crash through the exit and narrowly escape with my life. Tumbling into a nearby shrubbery, I sprawl myself into the cool earth and watch as a few other viscets in lab coats scrabble out of the rubble of the now destroyed building. My breathing was heavy and ragged, the dirt swirling at each breath I heaved, and my heart thumped frantically in my chest. I could feel myself shaking, but I wasn't scared. Not yet. My muscles throbbed painfully and I couldn't move them, not that I wanted to. My ears perked as I heard some of the scientists mumble to each other.
　　"Years of tests and results, waisted! What are we supposed to do now?" The voice was fast and frantic, but the other much more calm, but still laced with fear. "We wait. Wait for more survivors to crawl out and devise a plan from there." "But we just captured the traitor and Subject 226! We worked to hard for them, and now all the effort is waisted!" "Then take this as a sign. Not all viscets are meant to be captured. We will have to keep that in mind the next time around." "Should we look for their bodies at least? We might still be able to-" "No. They are both dead and there is no reason to risk our own lives to retrieve some corpses. There will be more chances in the future, but for now we just have to wait."
I held my breath as they walked past my hiding spot, and my mind was racing again. They thought I died? Maybe that's for the best... But what do I do now? I don't want to leave Hitori behind, but if what they said is true, it's too late. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes and my heart clenched. I would have to go on without him, but there are a few things I want to do first. A few things that need to be done before I can restart my life. A life without him.

[SilverSamurai]

　　It's been a few months since then, and I still can't believe it. So much has changed and I've grown so much since then. I've come to terms with Hitori's death, and have even realized a few things in his absence. I understand why he was so protective over me, he was just trying to protect me the whole time, even if it meant abandoning himself. It's too late to tell him now, but I'm truly thankful for him. Everything he's done, and everything he's shaped me into be. I didn't notice it when we were traveling together, but he made sure I was strong enough to protect myself and to rely on myself then the time came. Perhaps he knew his fate all along, and didn't tell me the truth to keep me innocent until the very end, or perhaps he couldn't bring himself to admit the things he'd done in the past. Either way, I'm thankful for my innocence. When he was alive, it bothered me and I felt the need to know, but if I knew the truth back then I'm not sure if I could bear that weight on my narrow shoulders. He loved me, even though he would never admit it. I know he did. The first thing I did when I regained my senses after escaping the lab was hurry straight to our home. Our last home. I found it just as we had left it that evening, but evidence of struggling and many footprints indented in the ground still haunts me. I found his journal, right where I had dropped it. I picked it up and felt the emotions rush through me once more, and I couldn't help but to cry myself to sleep the first night back. The next few days I spent flipping through Hitori's journal, carefully looking over anything I might have missed. And that's when I found it. The note at the back of the journal that changed everything.

　　In the back of the journal was a picture. It wasn't very good, but I could easily make out our forms on the page. We were close together, his tail wrapped around my thin frame and he was smiling. Beneath it was a few a few scribbled words that read "You'll always be in my heart. Live and be happy.". Of course I broke down at the sight of that page, and that was the moment I knew he was right. I had to live on, start my life over and be happy. For him. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but if he wanted me to be happy, then I'll live on for him. I ripped out that single page and keep it in a journal of my own. I don't sketch or write reports in it like he did, but instead I write poems and short stories. It's soothing, to write out all of my thoughts on paper and let my emotions flow freely and unconfined.
　　I also made the decision to change my name. With a new life comes a new name with a fresh start. The Lab thought Zimri, Subject 226, to be dead. They killed Hitori. There was no longer any evidence of either of us alive. I thought for a while about a new identity for myself, and only came up with one situation in which I could be happy. I took Hitori's name. I couldn't think of a way in which I could be happy without him, and I feel like Zimri really did die back in The Lab. I was empty; a hallow shell of my former self with no direction in this new life I was supposed to carry on. Hitori wanted me to live on, so I would live on for him with his name. I would follow in his footsteps and live a new life for him, to make both of us happy. It took me a while to get used to the new name, and it felt weird at first. But it was reassuring, as if he were still with me, living how he wanted to live all along and free from the haunting missions and his past life.

　　With my new name, I now stay in one place most of the time, the clearing where we spent out last moments together. It's the place where I will always call my true home, but I do still travel occasionally. Not as much as we used to, but enough to satisfy my urge for adventure. I carry a journal of my own on my travels, writing poetry or short stories in it as I go, and sometimes try to sketch. I'm not very good at it, but I got a little better over time. The nights are long and my dreams haunting, and sometimes I can still hear his voice whispering in my ears. I ignore them, as I know the past can not change and won't help my state of mind to dwell on things that aren't real. Though deep down, no matter how much I try to deny it, I wish my delusions and hallucinations were real. If even for a moment, imagining that things were okay. Sometimes I can still feel his warm fur curled around mine as I drift into sleep.

[SilverSamurai]

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Roughly 8,284 words and 17 pages on Word. sorry ;o;

from Shiveren

[SilverSamurai]

'What may come, I wonder?
I often ponder the limits of the sky,
so soft and vast, who am I to lie?

As the nights get longer, my own heart longs
Longs for what? Surely, I'm a goner.

O how vast the water runs!
Where does it start? Where does it stop?
From where I am, all I see is the sun,
I should head back, before I drop.

I ventured to my parents territory for the first time since I've left all those years ago. I can't bring myself to face them though, but I knew they were there from their scents. I often look up to the stars and wonder what my life could have been.