- I've been gone from this thread for, like, forever, so I figured I'd pop back in with a question:
- Code: Select all
[b]If you could say one thing to yourself when you first started writing (or started writing diaries), what would you say?[/b]
If you could say one thing to yourself when you first started writing (or started writing diaries), what would you say?
If you could say one thing to yourself when you first started writing (or started writing diaries), what would you say?
Double-check - no, triple-check - Your grammar, spelling punctuation, all of that! It is atrocious! And slow the plot down, you are moving it way too fast. You need so much more imagery and your posts should be longer, if possible. Try to be more consistent with your characters because they change too much - I understand there is supposed to be character development, but not THAT soon!
As for editing my first entry... Oh boy, here we go. (Omg kill me I am attempting this on mobile.)
Ahem... hello! My name is Isabella, and this is something my mom gave me. It's supposed to help me "let go of my feelings," apparently, but I know it won't work for I have no feelings. What was that? "Everybody has feelings?" Ah, don't worry, I'm only kidding. Feelings are OK and totally normal. Be sure to have feelings, but if you somehow don't, congratulations: something is very wrong with you.
So, I don't know what to call you. I mean, doesn't every "normal" diary have some sort of name? Hmm... I'll call you... GRASSHOPPER!!!!! No, that's too buggy... PINEAPPLE!! Darn, that's already taken... Oh, I know! TREE!!! Yes, that sounds good. I like it. So now you're a tree. Well, I suppose I should introduce my family, since that's tradition or something... Oh wait, that's right... I have no family. Well, I mean technically I do, but they never do anything for me, so I don't really consider them my family. Too bad for them, they don't know what they're missing out on.
OK, so, I suppose I should say what's going on in my life right now. This would be a rather boring entry if I didnt tell you about something other than my family. Today is Saturday, and Monday is my first day of seventh-grade at my new middle school. I had moved over Summer Vacation so my dad could get a new job, but I hate moving. I had to leave behind all of my friends and lost my reputation. Oh, and I hope you like sarcasm, because you're going to get a lot of it. I seriously mean it.
You know, seventh-grade is probably going to be like in the movies; there's the total brat popular who picks on the nobody who eventually takes down the popular and is really cool and all the guys like her. Nah, that's too cliche. I don't like cliche.
Well, II kind of forgot to write in you for a day, so I extended this entry and it is now Monday. This is my outfit for the first day...
I look horrible and am probably going to make a horrible first impression. Oh well, I'll write some more at lunch.
OK, so there's this guy named Mace and I'm definitely crushing on him. This is what he looks like.
Isn't he HOTTTT?!?!?!?! Yeah, I thought so. Wait wait wait, WHAT'S THIS I AM SEEING RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! IS MACE TALKING TO ANOTHER GIRL?!?!?! OK, keep calm. They're probably just friends. This is what she looks like.
Alright, this is good, nothing suspicious... yes, they must be just friends. Of course, how silly of me to freak out like that!
???&Mace: *kiss kiss*
WHAT?!?!?!?!?! SO THEY'RE NOT JUST FRIENDS?!?!?! I WILL KILL HER!!!!!! Well, that would be illegal... so I won't kill her. So what if my crush is taken? That only means it will feel better to get him after they break up, right?
Alrught, alright, I'm jealous. I'll admit it. Mace probably won't even notice me, anyways. Why would he? He's a big, strong jock, and - oh, wait, I'm drooling. Hang on.
Uh-oh, looks like it's time for the classic sorting ceremony...
???: Like, hello everybody! For the, like, one person in this room that, like, doesn't know me, my name is, like, Kathryn and my HOT boyfriend is, like, Mace!!
I think I'm going to barf...
Mace: *Glances at me then looks at his paws*
Kathryn: OK, so, this is, like, how this is going to, like, work. You will, like, tell me your name. Then you will, like, tell me what you like to do. There's, like, many social groups and you will, like, be in one. There's the, like, populars, the emos, the, um, nerds, the jocks, and the *shudder* outcasts. Let's move on - what's your, like, name?
Me: *mumbles* Isabella...
Kathryn: I can't, like, understand you! Speak clearer or I'll just throw you into the outcasts without any, like, questions!
Me: Fine, my name is Isabella and I like-
Kathryn: WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!!! DID YOU JUST, LIKE, CONTINUE WITHOUT LETTING ME ASK MY NEXT QUESTION?!?!?!?! UGH, YOU ARE SO, LIKE, IGNORANT!!!! OUTCASTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, did she seriously just do that? What a jerk...
Me: Hey, I was only trying to save time by continuing earlier.
Kathryn: Ugh, fine, because you are, like, new to this school and don't, like, understand the standards, you may continue with the sorting process. NEXT QUESTION!! What do you, like, enjoy doing?
Me: Reading books, making art, *mutters* trying not to look as bad as you...
Kathryn: WHAT DID YOU, LIKE, JUST SAY YOU, IGNORANT FOOL?!?! OUTCASTS NOW!!!!!!!!! NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS!!!!! LIKE, NOW!!!!! Ahem, now, everybody, like, continue your meals.
Yeesh, talk about anger management issues... I walked over to the outcast table and sat down. Well, what else would you do at a table, stand? Alright, so then I met another new person - well, I was the new kid, but shut up - and this is what they looked like.
Me: Hello, what's your name?
???: My name is Grace, and you're obviously Isabella.
Me: How did you- Oh, yeah... Kathryn did ask for it... so, what's up?
Grace: Umm the ceiling??
Me: Haha, you know I don't mean that literally, but in a joking manner.
Grace: Um, yes, definitely knew that. So, umm, homework? Yeah, homework.
Me: Homeowork? On the first day of school? That's messed up.
Grace: That's actually normal here. *pauses* You know, what you did was very brave.
Me: Huh? You mean insulting Kathryn? Not really, it was more like words coming out of my mouth and she took it the wrong way. Well, I gueeeess she took it the way I meant it, but she over-reacted.
Grace: Uh, yeah, of course.
Me: So... how did you end up in the outcasts?
Grace: I got here because of my wings. OF ALL THINGS, MY WINGS!!! *Cliche look into space* It all started on my first day here... The sorting ceremony started and I walked up to her.Flashback wrote:Kathryn: UGH I DON'T EVEN, LIKE, NEED TO KNOW YOUR, LIKE, NAME OR INTERESTS!!! YOUR WINGS LOOK, LIKE, HORRIBLE!!! BONES SHOULD, LIKE, NEVER BE OUTSIDE OF YOUR, LIKE, BODY!!! Right Mace-y poo?
Mace: *blushes and mumbles* Of course... Whatever you say.
Grace: *Cliche flashback look ends* So yeah. WANNA BE TOTAL BEST FRIENDS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Me: YEAH DEFINITELY!!!!!!!! So umm... what do you want to do?
Grace: I don't know... hey, you know what, I was researching wing replacement surgery and found someone who is awesome at it!!! Isn't that AWESOME?!?!
Me: Totally! I think you should do it if you think that's what's best.Besides, then you can show Kathryn who has ugly wings!
Grace: You know what, I think I'm going to do it; I've been saving up the money. I really like your wings, so I think I'm going to do yours but with a different color.
Me: OK!
Grace: Will do, my number is 222-2222! Haha, that rhymed!
Alright, so apparently we have all of the same classes, and so does Mace!! <3 Oh my gosh, I just realized we have the same wings, just different colors!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!
Grace and I finished up school for the day and then about four hours later I got a text from her. I'm IsABellRinging and Grace is GracefulAsASwan.
GracefulAsASwan: Oh my gosh, you have to come over to my place NOW!!! EEEEEK!! My surgery just finished up a half hour ago and you just HAVE to look at my new wings!!!! They were even able to change my fur color!!!!!!!
IsABellRinging: OK OK OK! I HAVE to come! Whats your address??
GracefulAsASwan: Oh lol yeah you may need that. Im at 123 Pawsome Lane.
IsABellRinging: Got it, be there in a few!! I can't wait!!!
GracefulAsASwan: By the way, I completely changed my look!! I want your opinion.
IsABellRinging: OK!!! Can't wait to check it out!!!
So apparently we live on the same street. AWESOME!!! I'm at 128 Pawsome Lane, so we are practically neighbors!!!!
Alright, I'm at her house now and she's been standing right behind her door waiting for me. CREEPY!!!! Oh well, I do suppose that's how the whole BFF's thing works...
Grace: OK, come in! Come in! You HAVE to see! My bedroom is this way!!
OK, coming! Coming! Wow! You have a really nice room!
Seriouslly, she does!! Everything is so neat and organized!!
OK, here we go... *Takes off jacket that she was totally wearing the whole time*
Me:
Grace: Thanks!!
Me: OK well, I have to go back home now. I haven't done my homework yet and we have school tomorrow, so yeah. Plus, I didn't tell anyone I left so I might get grounded. See you tomorrow!!
Grace: OK, see you at school!!
Alright, I think that's all for today. I just got done with my homework and I really need to get to bed. I hope tomorrow isn't quite as crazy...
Anyways... Goodbye, Tree!!!!!!!! See you in the next entry!!!!!!!!
- Improvement: 6273936/10, that entry sacked when I first wrote it.
