celestine. wrote:"at least heteros aren't the ones who get upset because someone won't accept their sparkle-fairy-cinnamon-bun-star-gender"
"tbh hetero kids aren't nearly as whiny and entitled as the lgbtqasisjfjlsjdflwxyz+ kids"
okay buddy. whatever you say. like we havent heard that one before, like i havent heard that one before lmao. this kid, man.. that's what i call edgy teenager™
i might just reclaim "sparkle-fairy-cinnamon-bun-star-gender" and "lgbtqasisjfjlsjdflwxyz+ kids" for myself :^)
ahh just ignore them!
we all know what each one is like
neither is whiny
metta. wrote:guess who's getting no sleep tonight
its me!!
guess who's just about ready to give up
its me!!
nooo you'll be fine!
sorry i'm a bit late on this, i just woke up
try listening to asmr
it has saved my life
good luck <3
Lily wrote:Why is it that my heart is always broken?
On the internet and in real life?
Why can't I just maintain a stable relationship?
I always choose the wrong (?) people. They always leave me, and break me, and then they ignore me. I know I don't deserve this, and that they don't deserve me if they just keep hurting me in every way, but its gotten to the point were I'm fake texting with my ex boyfriend. And getting fake pep talks from my fake best friend.
Why can't anyone understand that I'm broken, and that they don't need to crack me more, or that I'm a human being with feelings?
I'm just so lonley.
If I get a pm, its a answer to a comfort corner post, or a question about some event I'm holding. People only pm me when they see one of my posts, and pity me. I hate it. I appreciate it, but they only stick around for two messages. It kills me.
And my real life "friends"? Don't get me started.
According to the universe, I am only capable of making friends who are 10+ years younger than me.
According to everyone who think they know me,
I am a retarded person and have to go through 3rd grade math again.
Does anyone know how much that hurts me? To be insulted, jeered, and made fun of every day?
No. I've never complained about this.
I've never been pushed over my breaking point.
But that fake texting, it made me realise that if I can't find a distraction fast, I'll shatter.
I'll shatter into millions of itty-bitty pieces, and who will care?
No one. No one on earth.
He's gone,
She's gone,
He's gone,
She's gone,
I'm gone, repeat.
That's the pattern I live by.
Death, heartbreak, betrayal, destruction.
Getting kicked in the head/neck region by my brother everyday.
Being Naive and stupid, letting him walk away, letting him go.
Being called " Retarded, Mean, Ugly."
By my parents every. Damn. Minute.
I am retarded? I'm mean? I'm ugly?
Sorry for bothering you. I'll be in my room crying now.
Its scary, I'm beginning to believe those things are true.
Maybe that's why everyone dislikes me
Maybe my crush of 6 years dumped me and ignored me because I'm imperfect.
Maybe that's why I'm at 10 year old math level.
I can't do this anymore. And if anyone PMS me out of pity, I won't answer.
You've got to understand.
i don't understand
i mean i do but i've never been in that position
you aren't imperfect
you're not at 10 year old math level because you're stupid
if you're thinking that.
we all have our own ways of learning, some are slower
and some are fast. you just take your time
on understanding math, and don't give up.
you deserve to be on this planet, because one day you
will find someone that will protect you with the snap
of their fingers
good luck <3
MythicalSkill wrote:I just made a huge mistake. A HUUUUUGE mistake. I was talking to some people on another site, the topic turned to something with quite a few moral issues attached, and since I feel very strongly about the issue I started talking and voicing my opinions and talking some more. A few of the staff from that site even got involved and I spent probably close to an hour talking to one of them. I guess I just didn't realize how bad the stuff I was saying was, however, until one of the people started swearing at me and stuff like that. One of the site staff cleared the chat and told us all to drop the topic, but I guess I hadn't done enough stupid things in one day so I sent a private message to the person who swore at me trying to apologize. Mere moments later I found myself permabanned from the site with a chilling message related to the topic we had been discussing as the ban reason. I don't even know who did it because multiple staff from that other site were involved in the conversation but I instantly realized just how badly I had messed up and quickly ran to the attached forums section of the site to apologize to the staff member who cleared the chat along with the user who had swore at me. Not long after I sent the message, way too fast for them to have completely read it and understood it, I was banned from the forums too. Now I can't even make an appeal or try to publicly apologize. I truly didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings or insult anyone. Honestly, I don't even know what one, specific thing I did that ended up getting me permabanned twice. I just know that I made a huge mistake and now I will never be able to apologize. I don't even really care about all the things I've done on that other website or all the time/effort I've put into it. I just want to be unbanned, even if it is only for as long as it takes for me to apologize properly. I don't even care that this is the first time I've ever been banned from anywhere and it completely ruins my record and leaves a permanent stain on my username there, which just so happens to be the same one I use here. I just want everyone to know how much I regret every word that I typed today. It's not about the ban. The ban I could deal with, since I deserve it (even though I think I should have gotten a warning or at least a valid, understandable reason for the ban before it happened) but the one thing that is killing me right now and leaving me here crying all over the forums of a completely different website is the fact that I never got the chance to properly say sorry and ensure that they understood just how sorry I was. There is nothing on that other website that I wouldn't give just to be allowed to apologize and possibly get the chance to go back another day. I want to be allowed to tell everyone just how ashamed I am of what I did, and I want to be able to fix my mistakes, if that is even possible. The only thing on my mind right now is saying sorry to those who I've hurt without knowing I was hurting them at the time. Either way, I guess it doesn't matter now. What's done is done and I'm banned forever, no matter how many good things I've done in my time on that other site. I'll never be able to speak to my friends on there again and I'll never be able to tell them just how badly I feel about this whole situation. My best friend in real life, who only recently joined, will never even know what happened to me or why I'm banned. I hope he doesn't ask to get me unbanned, in case he gets banned too. Either way, it's over now. I'm sorry Art if I ever insulted you or those you care about. Shim, I'm sorry that I didn't pick up on all the subtle hints you left for me telling me to shut up until it was too late and I'd already obliterated our friendship. To everyone else who was involved in that conversation, I'm sorry you had to read what I wrote. It was completely idiotic of me to even consider writing it. And to those like my friend who will never know what happened to me or those who were there when the ban hammer fell, I'm sorry. I wish you could know how much I liked each and every one of you and I wish you could understand exactly why I was banned and why I'm not coming back. Finally, I wish to apologize to the spirits of those who's jobs I misunderstood and quite possibly insulted during my insane hours-long rant. I thank you for all you have done and I wish you good luck in the afterlife, if you believed in that sort of thing when you were alive. If not, may you rest in peace anyway, and may your numbers never rise. You and others like you who are still alive today don't deserve to suffer because of the ignorance of those like me. I'm not a pacifist. I'm a monster.
For those of you who figured out what the controversial topic was, please don't ban or report me. I do not plan on ever thinking about or repeating the things I've said unless it is to apologize for them and I will make sure to stay away from anywhere on this site that may directly reference the topic just in case I feel tempted to chime in. My views are sick and wrong, and I see that now. I am never going to talk about it again.
If you are a mod or other Chicken Smoothie staff member who is reading this, please feel free to delete this post if you find it to be in any way offensive or in violation of Chicken Smoothie rules. I understand that you don't need my permission to do this (and please don't be upset because I added this) but if you feel that there is even the slightest chance that someone could be upset by this, please remove it. I wrote it without reading what I wrote and I may have said some things I should not have said. Please forgive me for my ignorance. Although my record is no longer clean I am trying very hard to redeem myself, if that is even possible.
hey it's okay you were just voicing your opinion,
sometimes just sit back and reread, act as the other person and see
if you would like to receive that message or not
sadly i've had many argument and they've blocked me before i could
apologise. it's just something we have to live with.
are you able to make a new account? maybe you could do that and
private message them through a new account, even if that one
gets banned c:
good luck <3
AutumnClifford wrote:Oh how blissful it seemed, when I was confused about myself.
Part of me wishes I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind, like I did with most things.
But no, I had to question it. Had to question identity.
And of course I identify with a gender that's not the "social norm".
I'm an androgynous demigirl.
I can't tell any of my family, not after their constant cracks at Caitlin Jenner jokes. But that also means I can't be myself; I can't wear the guys clothes I want to wear, I can't act like a stereotypical guy - I have to be "ladylike" according to my mother -, I can't get the piercings and tattoos I want. And if I do want to do that stuff, I have to wait until I'm out of their house to do so, or at least hide it from them. Which is impossible.
Things were so much simpler when I was just a girl. But I'm not just a girl anymore, I can't identify with that.
maybe tell them?
my brother and father make thousands of jokes about
the topic of that, but they love me and if i ever told them
stuff like that they would support me no matter what
just be yourself
maybe slowly bring it on?
get that hair cut
slowly ask to pierce your body
slowly go into guy clothes
good luck and i'm proud of you <3
Belzul wrote:Why do I hate people..? I hate people, but at the same time I can't seem to live without interacting with them. I hate when I think about people and the glares they give when my girlfriend asks me to go to the skate park or something with her.
Is it because I'm sick and tired of being judged?
Probably.
I'm ashamed to go out much in public anymore because of some things people point out. I've been called ugly many times, to my face and in writing. (Don't sugar coat things. I know i'm hideous.) People call me emo because I wear so much black clothing. I'm not emo. It's called I don't pay attention to color and just wear what is comfortable, and that just so happens to be a black pair of sweatpants and my Monstercat sweatshirt.
People think I'm strange. I adore anime, video games, food, and hate sports and anything active.
Someday my body isn't going to stay thin and it's just going to give out I'm going to end up obese and get diabetes like everyone else on my mom's side.
It's so hard to smile. I plaster on this cheesy, cheeky grin like I always used to have and act like everything is fine and try and get people to focus on my personality and not my features. Yeah, I know I look like a raccoon with the bags under my eyes. I've never been able to get a good nights sleep and stress is killing me. (Lol look at me, blabbering at 1 o'clock about never getting sleep.) My girlfriend notices my mood changes and helps me but my friends never even seem to care, and when they do notice they do stupid things to try and cheer me up but it only makes me mad. I'm literally the center of this squad and if i'm not around or happy, the who dynamic is off. Oh god, she's not grinning or she's not joking around like normal, better ignore her or make her get upset because we are doing stupid things! I have people fighting over my attention. Half of my circle of friends don't know I've got a girlfriend and all that..
Ontop of that, i'm being told that I have to go to this academy or I won't get rich and live happily.
Maybe I don't want to be rich. Yeah, a lamborgini would be nice, but how many of those do you see? I come from a tiny, middle class family.
I'm the mood controller, defender, therapist, and a whole ton of other things within my friend group.. Just.. ARGH.
Na...
I hate people..
I hate my friends..
Halp..
people are crueler than dinosaurs
we're nasty, i won't lie
but we're not all like that! now i'm going to give you advice i gave to someone else:
look in the mirror and act as your best friend.
all those cruel things you say to yourself, you would never say that to your best friend,
right? look in the mirror and say all the nice things.
your body is your best friend, you are your own best friend and you deserve
frinedship.
just act like yourself
you must get that a lot, i know
but being yourself is the only way you'll be happier
good luck and i have faith in you <3
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