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by ever changing » Thu Dec 31, 2015 2:20 am
I'm on the verge of tears right now. My father is (once again)
on my case about being broke all the time. He brings home
upwards of $1k a week. I'm a measley cashier that only gets
around $130 a week and my fiance doesn't even work.
So what does he expect? It isn't a "maybe you should actually
go to college and get a better job" deal, either. He actually
expects that small amount of money to cover everything and
me still have money left over.
He mentioned that I've been here at their house all week and
shouldn't have had anything to spend it on. Are we forgetting
that Christmas just passed?
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ever changing
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by fika. » Thu Dec 31, 2015 2:39 am
hipster; wrote:i can't stop crying
i can't focus on the positive things
i keep going back to the negative things
it's okay to cry, just let it all out.
it's fine to feel that way, and whenever i felt upset
i watched my favourite movies and cried some more over it.
i also look at this site here which helps me out!
good luck <3
CommanderOfLaserCats wrote:You know what's great? Knowing that you can't do anything without medication.
That you can't keep up a hobby
That you can't keep on top of things
That you can't find the motivation to keep going
That you can't do your homework without waking up at 2:30 AM the day it's due.
I'm not against getting the medication, and am kind of looking forward to it, as I'll finally be able to do the things I've been putting off.
I just hate knowing that's what I need.
We're all human.
Don't beat yourself up over it. You're not the
only one who needs medication. It'll help you, and that's
what you need to remember. Just think of it as a daily thing,
such as getting dressed for example. You need to get dressed,
you can't walk around with no clothes on!
You'll be fine and I'm proud of you (: <3
.Rise. wrote:I just went through my old email,
and found 19 emails from a toxic/abusive friend
I don't understand how we aren't friends
This makes me miss her
I know i was kinda miserable with her but
It feels weird not hanging with her.
You can find new friends! A relationship
like that is not healthy, and you're better off without them if
they made you miserable. You can find friends in the most
unexpected places.
Do you know if she is any better now? If she is, you could
always try emailing her again.
comical sans wrote:yep im fine just living the dream i have a self esteem and confidence and self-worth yep just fine definitely dont cry a lot and over everything :')
the most beautiful of things have a fragile surface.
self esteem and confidence are a pain, and mine on a scale of 1-10 are -100000. not even joking.
if this keeps up for long, maybe you could go seek proffesional help? after
months of having this anxiety i am finally going to go check it out in January/February.
There's a list of things to help you get through your self esteem and improve it:
1. don't compare yourself to others
2. celebrate the small stuff
3. do what you enjoy
4. surround yourself with people that love and care about you.
good luck <3
CommanderOfLaserCats wrote:Oh god I can't breath. My head hurts, my nose is clogged, and my throat hurts so bad that I can't talk. I don't know how I got sick, but I feel miserable. I'm supposed to be going to Star Wars...
wheeey welcome to the club!
sleep sleep sleep. i know i should be doing that right now, but i've
already had too much sleep today.
drink plenty of water! medicine! cough drops!
warm drinks (mmmm). try sprite + lemon + honey, microwave it for 1 minute. it's the bomb diggity.
go have a shower, you'll feel more fresh.
star wars can wait! health is way more important than a movie.
good luck!<3
The Shiny Mew wrote:Stop telling me how I act just because Im a furry oh my god
ignore them! you do you!
you're the most important thing in your life so live the way you want!
Ellijah wrote:I'm on the verge of tears right now. My father is (once again)
on my case about being broke all the time. He brings home
upwards of $1k a week. I'm a measley cashier that only gets
around $130 a week and my fiance doesn't even work.
So what does he expect? It isn't a "maybe you should actually
go to college and get a better job" deal, either. He actually
expects that small amount of money to cover everything and
me still have money left over.
He mentioned that I've been here at their house all week and
shouldn't have had anything to spend it on. Are we forgetting
that Christmas just passed?
christmas is a time to spend with family! explain that to him.
as with the job part; keep your job. while doing that job,
look for other jobs that you think you may enjoy and may more than that a week.
that's still a good price though!
you'll get through it if you're motivated and happy enough!

to anyone out there needing a hug! you've all got this. <3
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fika.
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by leverage » Thu Dec 31, 2015 4:24 am
I apologize for this rant, which will likely be vague and awful, but I need to get it out so badly...I need to know that someone has read it and understood, that someone has been there for me...
Why is that I'm always the one ignored and forgotten? Why me? What have a possibly done wrong in my life to deserve this? I spend so much of my time trying to make everything right. I hate seeing things go wrong more than anything else. I constantly try not to anger or hurt anyone, and yet I'm the forgotten one. I'm the one who is worth absolutely nothing to no one at all. I work harder than most everyone else and yet I'm the one blamed when things go wrong. I'm called lazy and impatient when I am neither, I am blamed and wrong and everything else.
I'm not trusted or liked, even online. I have a few good friends in my concert band, and that's nice. I have a few good online friends who I need more than anything. And one of my closest online friends hides something from me, something major. I don't know if they just didn't want to bother with me, or didn't care, but it was upsetting to find out months after the fact and know that really, I was just not worth their time. I mean, maybe I should accept it. They have better friends than me, closer friends, people that are just all-around better people than I am. Maybe I deserved to be pushed into the dirt this time. Maybe it was all my fault. But just because I held the knife doesn't mean I don't bleed.
There are so many things I just am inadequate at. Socially there's no contest, I suck at anything to do with people no matter how hard I try. So I work on other things. Schoolwork, art, saxophone. I have amazing grades in school, I've made it into a few upper-level bands on my saxophone. What I can't do it art. Every time I finish a piece I look at it and all I see is how bad it is. No one likes me art, my guess is half the time people look at my art and wish I'd just go away. I'm worthless at it, and I just never get better. The same goes with my writing skills, especially in roleplays. I feel like I'm a burden to my roleplay partners, or anyone who bothers to commission me for art.
On top of all this junk, sexuality is a pain in the you know what. I wish I could say that I identify as asexual without people giving me a weird look, hence why I don't bother with anyone but a close friend of mine. On top of that I have a completely different romantic orientation and I can't even say that one, because of all things in the world people think you're for, it's for things like that. That's why I shelter in sites like CS and advanced scribes, because I don't feel so alone. But whenever I'm away from the computer, I know I'm a freak. I'm a weird asexual person who isn't generally happy with being called a girl but can't say anything about it, who has a bad knee and a scar on their face and is too smart for their own good. I don't belong anywhere. I know I don't. I keep saying that maybe it'll get better, but I still only have a few close friends. And though those friends mean everything to me, I wish I had more. At least at home I have my lovely cat, who has been there for me for years though everyone else in the family dislikes her, and the golden retriever who is always there when I'm having a hard time and need a distraction.
I know this whole rant is daft and pointless, but there were just a lot of things I needed to get out. Thank you to anyone who reads over this, and maybe sends some good vibes my way...I really do need it, and I appreciate it.
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leverage
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by Pudd; » Thu Dec 31, 2015 8:08 am
I've been really depressed lately. I usually just ignored it and blocked out my sadness but now with everything going on, I feel like just being alone. I feel like I'm about to lose my best friend, not losing them as a friend, but them completely. I just don't know how to feel anymore.
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Hi, I'm overbearing, cringy, and loney : )!
I've been on this site, sadly, for almost 4 years.
Lmao, and I still have no friends on here, or people
i know. When I joined I liked warriors (idk why),
but I've changed a lot. I used to play on here all
the time, but lately, no. I'm never on here.
So if for some reason you send me a message,
it probably won't be opened quick.
Anyways, I like every type of music.
I like lava lamps too, they're pretty cool.
I'm pretty cool too.
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Pudd;
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by fika. » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:09 am
ultron wrote:I apologize for this rant, which will likely be vague and awful, but I need to get it out so badly...I need to know that someone has read it and understood, that someone has been there for me...
Why is that I'm always the one ignored and forgotten? Why me? What have a possibly done wrong in my life to deserve this? I spend so much of my time trying to make everything right. I hate seeing things go wrong more than anything else. I constantly try not to anger or hurt anyone, and yet I'm the forgotten one. I'm the one who is worth absolutely nothing to no one at all. I work harder than most everyone else and yet I'm the one blamed when things go wrong. I'm called lazy and impatient when I am neither, I am blamed and wrong and everything else.
I'm not trusted or liked, even online. I have a few good friends in my concert band, and that's nice. I have a few good online friends who I need more than anything. And one of my closest online friends hides something from me, something major. I don't know if they just didn't want to bother with me, or didn't care, but it was upsetting to find out months after the fact and know that really, I was just not worth their time. I mean, maybe I should accept it. They have better friends than me, closer friends, people that are just all-around better people than I am. Maybe I deserved to be pushed into the dirt this time. Maybe it was all my fault. But just because I held the knife doesn't mean I don't bleed.
There are so many things I just am inadequate at. Socially there's no contest, I suck at anything to do with people no matter how hard I try. So I work on other things. Schoolwork, art, saxophone. I have amazing grades in school, I've made it into a few upper-level bands on my saxophone. What I can't do it art. Every time I finish a piece I look at it and all I see is how bad it is. No one likes me art, my guess is half the time people look at my art and wish I'd just go away. I'm worthless at it, and I just never get better. The same goes with my writing skills, especially in roleplays. I feel like I'm a burden to my roleplay partners, or anyone who bothers to commission me for art.
On top of all this junk, sexuality is a pain in the you know what. I wish I could say that I identify as asexual without people giving me a weird look, hence why I don't bother with anyone but a close friend of mine. On top of that I have a completely different romantic orientation and I can't even say that one, because of all things in the world people think you're for, it's for things like that. That's why I shelter in sites like CS and advanced scribes, because I don't feel so alone. But whenever I'm away from the computer, I know I'm a freak. I'm a weird asexual person who isn't generally happy with being called a girl but can't say anything about it, who has a bad knee and a scar on their face and is too smart for their own good. I don't belong anywhere. I know I don't. I keep saying that maybe it'll get better, but I still only have a few close friends. And though those friends mean everything to me, I wish I had more. At least at home I have my lovely cat, who has been there for me for years though everyone else in the family dislikes her, and the golden retriever who is always there when I'm having a hard time and need a distraction.
I know this whole rant is daft and pointless, but there were just a lot of things I needed to get out. Thank you to anyone who reads over this, and maybe sends some good vibes my way...I really do need it, and I appreciate it.
The imperfections in your mind is what others find beautiful.
I bet your art isn't bad, any art is beautiful. Honestly.
People care about you. We all love you. I actually found this amazing tumblr post that I reblogged
and hopefully that changes your view on people not liking you.
Also, do things that make YOU happy. Don't do something to make others happy, as you are
the only important thing in your life. You only live once, this is the only time
for you to be alive, so why waste it on something you hate/dislike?
You are not ignored, and if you ever need to talk my inbox is always open <3
I Don't Love You wrote:I've been really depressed lately. I usually just ignored it and blocked out my sadness but now with everything going on, I feel like just being alone. I feel like I'm about to lose my best friend, not losing them as a friend, but them completely. I just don't know how to feel anymore.
you can't ignore the way you feel. and it's okay to want to be alone.
i'm an introvert so i prefer being alone.
as for your friend, try and talk to them. try and distract the both of you from this painful world.
i'm always here for you.
Makdoodle2008 wrote:Ugh. is anyone here a rat lover who can express this? I hate it when people go to a pet store or even when someone mentions a rat/rats and says: "Ew, they're disgusting!"
;-; what is WRONG with you?
Can you not love a rat like you love a hamster? Is it because of their tail?
HNG
anyone that doesn't like a rat i find weird. THEY'RE ADORABLE ???
i find their tail the cutest part!
i guess a lot of people think of them as nasty rodents with diseases, but they're honestly not.
i guess some people you just can't change their mind 
to anyone needing it:

my inbox is always open to anyone.
good luck<3
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fika.
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by modern » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:13 am
I severely messed up the first part of my life.
I went through hobby after hobby, ditching each
Due to my lack of focus. I dont feel like I can focus
On one thing, and my stress is skyrocketing. Now
That im in early high school, i have few options left
For an after school hobby or activity to do. I feel really
Lazy and useless compared to my friends.
Im just the weird looking kid with no life, in my mind.
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modern
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by fika. » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:16 am
Modern.Vintage wrote:I severely messed up the first part of my life.
I went through hobby after hobby, ditching each
Due to my lack of focus. I dont feel like I can focus
On one thing, and my stress is skyrocketing. Now
That im in early high school, i have few options left
For an after school hobby or activity to do. I feel really
Lazy and useless compared to my friends.
Im just the weird looking kid with no life, in my mind.
join the club!
i have zero hobbies. i mean, i adore photography but i beat myself up over it
because i have the most gorgeous camera but i rarely use it.
i can't focus on anything! sometimes you have to go with the flow in life.
maybe you like acting! or baking, cooking even! reading is a hobby, do you like that?
you don't even have to do an after school hobby.
i used to do choir but it's ended now, so i don't have an after school hobby. i'm quite thankful
for it really, it gives me more time to focus on homework/studying.
don't worry!
you have your WHOLE life to figure out a hobby and what you enjoy.
you got this in life. <3
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fika.
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