| TheComfortCorner | v.5

[hakuu]

okay. so I haven't been doing so well or feeling so well. and my best friend suddenly had a new friend at the beginning of this school year. all I've thought of is that I'm a side friend and she doesn't really care about me anymore. keep in mind I met her in first grade and we've known each other for 9 years now. she barely even talks to me and when I try to talk to her new friend, I get ignored, talked over, or speak too silently. of course they do include me, but the new friend is having a birthday party today. I honestly had to ask to be invited. but I decided I didn't want to go because, well, im sick of being ignored. sick to the point I want to claw my skin off. my best friend just texted me asking if I was still going, so I lied and said I didn't get a present and was stuck home alone with no ride. I honestly don't want to go. I feel so alone, left out, and ignored. on top of all this my boyfriend won't even text me first at all anymore, and I have no idea why. I don't know what to do. I do feel bad for not being about to get the girl something for her birthday, but yet, I don't know if I should. no one even cares about me anymore. and I get going into loops of depression. why am I so hurting to hurt, most of all? I don't even know if I belong on this planet anymore.

I have no other friends besides her, really. all I want is a friend who loves black butler as much as me. someone who actually would care. what do I do now? go sob in the corner like I do every single time I feel this way? go shove a knife into a block of wood? i just don't know what i did to deserve any of this...

[philophobia.]

So tired of getting yelled at for things that arent my fault or things i didnt dom

Are you the oldest in your family?

Yup. And the one who gets yelled at for everything.

Same. And when my siblings do what I get yelled at for my parents are fine with it. *hugs* I hope things get better for you!

[ghost queen.]

they left me. well, they barely talk to me anymore.
the last time was to tell me they couldn't roleplay
with me anymore because they could never find the
muse to write a response. but that's not what i care
about. what happened to helping me through every-
thing? did all the late night conversations trying to
talk me out of doing things that i promised i wouldn't
do get old? am i that much of a disappointment that y-
ou won't even talk to me anymore? obviously i don't m-
ean as much to you as you said i do. i'm sorry.. i did try.

it's okay. i don't like me either. don't worry. i'll be fine
in the end. its not like i matter to anyone anyway.
.
i wouldn't talk to me either. don't worry, if you dont
want to, you don't have to, i understand. i'll just go
over here so you can go on with life. you know what,
better yet i'll just leave completely. that way no one
has to talk to me, or act like they like me. it's okay..
bye.

[sparrow;]

I'm really stressed about having to organize this thing my friend was supposed to be in charge of, but she just left everything for me to do and now we have two days to get it done.

[starry palms]

too tired to do anything
too many moodswings
now all i do is lay in bed and feel sorry for myself
sigh

[arabella !!]

I'm really stressed about having to organize this thing my friend was supposed to be in charge of, but she just left everything for me to do and now we have two days to get it done.

aw, i'm sorry she did this to you. can you tell her how you feel? i'm sure she'll understand and try to work it out with you, if she still wants you to do everything then i would do it but tell the person who's in charge of the organization. good luck with everything! <3 -huggles-.

too tired to do anything
too many moodswings
now all i do is lay in bed and feel sorry for myself
sigh

-hugs tight-. stay strong, we all have those days where we all feel down. you'll get through it! <3

[Bruxelles37]

I'm always left out by my friends because they have other friends. I'm so awkward so I only have 6 friends, soon to be 4 because two are moving far away this year. And so my friends are always making plans without me and TELLING ME ABOUT THEM. It tortures me because I'm not just gonna intrude and say "can I come to town with you?" Because I'll seem desperate. It seems as if I was the center of the group (not like queen bee or anything) a couple months ago and then everyone started getting boyfriends and stuff and I don't like anyone so basically their leaving me in the dust. And I can't just go make new friends because 1) they actually are good friends most of the time and 2) I'm an awkward person I haven't made new friends since the third grade and trust me that was quite a while ago. So what am I supposed to do wen I'm home alone all this time because they're all out having fun. I have to pretend I don't care and sometimes that's the worst part because then they think this is okay and I'm not gonna confront them because they'll just be like "oh sorry" and not mean it. Ugh. All I'm feeling is ugh.

[rockosaur]

I'm always left out by my friends because they have other friends. I'm so awkward so I only have 6 friends, soon to be 4 because two are moving far away this year. And so my friends are always making plans without me and TELLING ME ABOUT THEM. It tortures me because I'm not just gonna intrude and say "can I come to town with you?" Because I'll seem desperate. It seems as if I was the center of the group (not like queen bee or anything) a couple months ago and then everyone started getting boyfriends and stuff and I don't like anyone so basically their leaving me in the dust. And I can't just go make new friends because 1) they actually are good friends most of the time and 2) I'm an awkward person I haven't made new friends since the third grade and trust me that was quite a while ago. So what am I supposed to do wen I'm home alone all this time because they're all out having fun. I have to pretend I don't care and sometimes that's the worst part because then they think this is okay and I'm not gonna confront them because they'll just be like "oh sorry" and not mean it. Ugh. All I'm feeling is ugh.

its not a bad thing to want to be included feeling "out" of a confutation can be very upsetting and you may feel very lonely. i know this might sound rude or not nice of me but friends can unattached, and used to something and not like it anymore, and it hurts it can make you feel as of the world is against you but just remember if they were your true friends they would let you in on hings and not disclude you. Friends are suppose to be there for you but how can they when their not there, how will they comfort you in your time of nee if they are leaving you behide. Friends do come and go and believe me its extremely hard to get over the lost and i wish you good luck even though these tough times.

i hope i didnt sound harsh...i am kinda new to this...

[caf.]

i've been slowly losing my cool all day because i can't handle this and it isn't getting any better
i have two best friends, 'r' and 's'. and...how do i explain this... 'r''s had a bad week already (one of her friends nearly had to be hospitalized, mean relatives, etc), and i've been trying to be gentle with her, but 's' doesn't know this and started blowing up the group chat between us three with embarrassing photos of 'r'. and since 'r''s super insecure about her body image she got briefly upset and then just left.
(just to add on, she usually gives some indicator that she's upset and forgives within a few hours, especially if someone apologizes. but she's been acting strangely normal while completely turning her nose up at us - something she never does unless something is really off)
so last night i sent her a huge apology about how i should have stood up for her and how 's' was really sorry and how we both really care about her and she just read it and ignored it. and now it's been 24 hours. i promised 's' i'd get her forgiveness, but more so i need it so much myself. it hurts me so much, i'm so worried she's going to up and leave just like i've been worried she would for the past four months. i can't deal without her, literally - she's the only thing i have left that i can trust, and the only thing that really and truly makes me happy no matter what. i love her, so much, and now i realize i never even told her that. we've been on-and-off fighting all year but i'm worried sick that this is more serious. because i broke her trust twice. this already happened once and i chickened out and didn't apologize, and now i stood by and let it happen again and i feel awful. and my apology text, looking it over, was awful - it doesn't even sound like i'm that sorry, even though my heart is falling to pieces because i've wronged her so badly. literally the worst thing that could've happened to her and her self esteem i let happen. i've been checking my texts all the time in some sort of mad hope she'll give me something - anything. i've even been liking things on her tumblr in some sort of pathetic attempt to catch her eye.
my sense of reality is really screwed up right now, too - i'm having such a hard time discerning between what's my imagination and what's real and what's a dream. even things that happened months or years ago are resurfacing as though they happened yesterday. i want to see my therapist but i can't 'til monday and i'm not sure i can hold out that long.
i need her. i don't think she understands how much i really care about her, or how close she is to me. i know her feelings towards me aren't nearly so strong, but that's okay. i just need an indication, something, so i can put myself at ease.
i really want to send another message, just an 'i'm so sorry', but i feel like that'd be too desperate and pathetic. not that i'm not already, i guess. i just want something, but maybe that's too selfish.

edit, sorry for bothering you guys and making this even longer, but she just tagged me in a tumblr post as if nothing ever happened??? just a casual funny post, nothing special. i'm so confused right now; i got something, but of course it's cryptic and dismissive.
then again maybe i'm just freaking out over nothing as usual, yay anxiety : )))))

[ghost queen.]

they left me. well, they barely talk to me anymore.
the last time was to tell me they couldn't roleplay
with me anymore because they could never find the
muse to write a response. but that's not what i care
about. what happened to helping me through every-
thing? did all the late night conversations trying to
talk me out of doing things that i promised i wouldn't
do get old? am i that much of a disappointment that y-
ou won't even talk to me anymore? obviously i don't m-
ean as much to you as you said i do. i'm sorry.. i did try.

it's okay. i don't like me either. don't worry. i'll be fine
in the end. its not like i matter to anyone anyway.
.
i wouldn't talk to me either. don't worry, if you dont
want to, you don't have to, i understand. i'll just go
over here so you can go on with life. you know what,
better yet i'll just leave completely. that way no one
has to talk to me, or act like they like me. it's okay..
bye.

okay. it's okay, no one has to try and see if im okay.
it's alright. i understand, don't worry about me. :)