Snowclan ~Warriors roleplay~ New; always accepting

[canadianhowl]

"I-I don't know." He muttered now feeling comfortable with Jadeheart around. He scored closer to her before nuzzling into her fur now acting like a kit and its mother. He just wanted to feel loved and the medicine cat have him just that.

[PenguinQueen]

Jadeheart smiled a bit. She wrapped her arm around Mousepaw, as if she could protect him from all of his worries. She knew she could never have kits, so this was the closest she would ever get. She wanted the moment to last forever, but she knew it couldn't. "It's okay." She whispered.

[canadianhowl]

The small apprentice soon let out some purrs feeling safe and happy now. He knew he could now trust Jadeheart and only her. "J-Jadeheart, have you ever been overshadowed by your siblings?" He then asked in a calm and quiet tone.

[PenguinQueen]

"Why yes, for a while." Jadeheart said quietly. "Shadepaw was always outstanding in training." She added. "I was training as a warrior before the medicine cat realized I was useful elsewhere." She added. "I was never one to put up a good fight, so I was always beaten by him." She added as her eyes clouded. She might have been angry at Shadepaw when it happened, but after her brother's death, she regretted ever feeling jealous.

[canadianhowl]

[[ Have this post I typed up.... Feels ]]

❖ m o u s e p a w ❖
━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━
mood;; mixedXrank;; apprentice
X'tagged;; jadeheart X
crush;; openXsexuality;; questioning
━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━

"O-Okay. Well when me and my sister were kits, father and grandpa always favored Birdpaw more then me. Grandfather kept saying he wouldn't have a favorite in a million moons but I could tell he adored Birdpaw. All cats loved her and she always seemed to overshadow me. She was better at everything, even this weird thing you do with your voice that sounds really pretty." Mousepaw admitted before he started to cry a bit. His grandfather was dead and so was his father. He never met his mother because she died while giving birth to him and Birdpaw. That was he stopped as he went into deeper thought. Mousepaw could honestly say out loud that he hated himself. When was it the last time he actually felt loved? Truly loved, and not forgotten and left in the back of someone's mind, left to wither away and collect dust? Was he ever remembered as someone special? Or just someone annoying, rude, and worthless? How many times has he looked at his twin and felt envy and jealousy at his little sister Birdpaw, who was always so happy and bright around everyone? His sister was the first one that came up in a cat's mind when they saw the two together. It was always her and never him. Even his own grandfather never cared about him. It was always 'Birdpaw~ this' and 'Birdpaw~ that'! Not once has he ever heard his grandfather praise him or tell him how proud he was of him. Not that he cared. It was just another slap in the face that he was named after the great warrior Mousebreeze when it was obvious who his grandfather favored more. Mousepaw remembers once, a conversation he had with his grandfather. It was just a passing statement, but Mousepaw could never forget the hurt that stabs him when he remembers it.

"Ah, Mousey! What are you making in the soil?" Mousebreeze knelt by his older grandson as the kit continued to make shapes in the soil with a stick. "A tree," Mousekit replied, looking up at the male with a rare shy smile. 'Maybe he'll like it and say something!' Mousekit thought, hope shinning in his hazel eyes. "Oh that's nice," Mousebreeze didn't even glance at the picture and was instead looking around the place. "Have you seen Birdkit around here? I wanted to take her somewhere for a little bit." Mousekit shook his head no and ducked his head so that his grandpa would not see the tears that threatened to fall. 'What about me?' He could feel his heart dull, but not shatter. No, it wasn't until years later did he realize why it wasn't broken. It was because it was never healed to begin with.

Mousepaw wasn't stupid. He knew perfectly well his grandfather died while spending his last moments with Birdpaw, the only grandson he ever bothered to call his own. "I hate you." Mousepaw stared at the ground now talking to himself. "I hate you so much. Why are you so pitiful?" Nothing. Not even a feeling passed through those eyes. Mousepaw hated it. He hated this. This feeling of darkness was overpowering him, rising up his throat and threatening to choke him. He screwed his eyes shut, effectively blocking his view of those dark eyes. "Foxdung...." Mousepaw could feel his shoulders shaking and he leaned his forehead on the ground. It felt cool against his flushed face and it calmed him somewhat. "Why in the name of StarClan is this happening to me.... What did I ever do?" As he wasn't expecting an answer. He soon remembered what he looked like, so much like his grandfather. His fur and voice, so much like him too. Heart... What heart? He was the side-kick to Birdpaw. The bubbly-she cats' sour brother. The guy that shared blood with the adorable, loving, perfect Birdpaw. How can he have something so innocent like a heart when his sister was the one that was obviously loved by everyone and anything? "I hate you." It echoed all around him.

[PenguinQueen]

"I can't say I understand completely. It was basically just my brother and me." Jadeheart said as she gently wiped Mousepaw's tears away. "But you won't ever be alone again, okay?" She said as she groomed his fur like his mother might have, have she been alive. "I don't believe your sister is better at everything." She said. "Think, what can you do that she can't." She said in a soothing tone.

[canadianhowl]

❖ m o u s e p a w ❖
━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━
mood;; mixedXrank;; apprentice
X'tagged;; jadeheart X
crush;; openXsexuality;; questioning
━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━

He gave an eye roll when she told him to think of the things he could do that his sister can't. Nothing came to his mind but he didn't even think anyways. "I have something! It's nothing!" He laughed with hurt in his tone. He calmed down once more and continued to purr as the she cat now licked him in a comforting way. He never had a mother, this was going to be the closest he would ever get. Well, he thought about it more and the male could think of something. Whatever tabby thing one could do with their voice he could do pretty well. He even got a female attracted to him one time for doing it but it was a rouge so he could stay with her. Mousepaw forgot about that anyways knowing he probably lost his touch. He glanced up at Jadeheart with soft but mixed with emotion hazel eyes.

[PenguinQueen]

"You're smart." Jadeheart said. "Smarter than your sister, I believe. You know it's not safe to trust every cat right away." She said. "Not every cat has good judgment." She added.

[canadianhowl]

[[ writers block ]]

❖ m o u s e p a w ❖
━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━
mood;; mixedXrank;; apprentice
X'tagged;; jadeheart X
crush;; openXsexuality;; questioning
━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━ ━━

"Then why did my sister catch prey on her first attempt and learn tricks and skills so easily while I'm overheard fumbling with my paws? I ain't smart and after all this, I vowed to never get close with a cat again. They would only just see how disappointing I am." Mousepaw sighed before he rested his head on the she cats shoulder.

[PenguinQueen]

"You aren't disappointing to me." Jadeheart said. "You are very strong, and warrior training doesn't prove one's strengths within." She said. "You've handled everything you've been through, which proves how strong you are. Birdpaw will probably never be as strong." She added. "Have you ever seen a kittypet, who's had a perfect life, take on a fox and win? Or is it the warriors, who have struggled to survive, who take on the beasts and win?" She asked.