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by hiraeth + hound » Thu Nov 05, 2015 9:44 am
you'd think I can think manage just a simple, normal 'oh he can have other friends even if i dont like the friend i know he's important and they were really close and im still important to him and everything is all okay'
that's all i want to feel, im tired of stressing and getting jealous over this stupid crap
im screaming im just such an idiot that cant talk to the one man i love the most and care for the most and worry about more than the world and just bring up a little 'hey im jealous as frec k can you just tell me im being dumb and give me a hug' but no. no of course not that would be way too damn easy wouldnt it be!! hah!! im pulling my hair out i hate the way i feel like why do i care so much over this??? i literally know nothing is going to happen but im screaming because i cant just be content knowing everything will be okay and i wont be completely forgotten because he has his old friend back and instead im just tortured that deep inside im panicked and worried that something will happen and im just going to be left here in the dust.
im tired of crying over this, im tired of not being able to just say something in fear that he'll hate me, im tired of this always being in the back of my mind. im tired. i cant do it anymore and im this close to just quitting cs just so i stop torturing myself and reading these posts that make me want to cry because i take them the wrong way
Im a horrible friend, and im completely messed up wad of trash that should crawl back to the hole i came from because im not even able to function properly and thinks everything has to be about me. he's not mine, he can do what he wants because it's his life and im the one dragging him down
im not important to anyone, and im tired of trying to tell myself i am. i thought i felt something, i was truly happy less than 24 hours ago and now i just feel like everything is a lie. everything is invalid and im not worth anything more than a speck of dirt. why! cant i just! be happy!
i have reached my breaking point, its over
i cant do it anymore
i tried and im sorry, this is all my fault and i have no reason to continue burdening the world and you with my existence. im so sorry. it's all my fault that i cant control my emotions and be normal. im sorry. im so, so sorry. you're the best friend i could ever ask for and the only person i've ever genuinely felt in love and close with. and im sorry.
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hiraeth + hound
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by getting deleted.. » Thu Nov 05, 2015 10:18 am
a bundle of emotions tbh.
literally, today i've been so lucky and i feel so happy??? i got a really good grade on my math test and i'm physically and mentally bad at math and i never really succeed in that subject so i'm really happy for that. i also presented during my science class and i stuttered just a little but it was alright!! - -
now i just feel a little bit confused and REALLY tired,, i just can't wait for friday to be here...
lol i'm so done......
this account is going to be deleted for good.
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getting deleted..
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by hiraeth + hound » Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:09 am
even when im ready to lay on my deathbed, he's all i can think about.
i cant leave yet because i know right now he needs me
i love him, and i'll be here for him until im not needed anymore.
im sorry im so broken, but ill here until the end. I promise.
♥
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hiraeth + hound
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by toodee » Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:10 am
stressed out.
*twenty one pilots plays in background*
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2D - she/her - friendly
gorillaz - the neighbourhood
childish gambino - drake
indie music - rap
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shane dawson - cowchop
immortalhd - uberhaxornova
elijha and christine - mytoecold
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hey there! i am 2D,
i am currently looking for
one x one roleplays
i am very friendly and am
always looking to chat!
pm me any time c:
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sweatpants - childish gambino
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toodee
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