Insanity's Child wrote:Oh, an Audio book? I've never listened to one of those before. They are pretty interesting, though! C;
hi, i'm sivir. let's be friends.
was I created
to question
everything
or just
to question
you ?
please don't break my happy mood
( i'm afraid of ruining your pretty face )
Red.
It was the same old nightmare, playing again and again like a cheesy showtune, dancing in her head like the red butterflies in her stomach, the red moon over head painting the horizon red. All she saw was red. When she closed her eyes to try and end the torment that the images brought, they simply became magnified and sharper, her eyelids creating the perfect screen, just designed specifically for her so she could destroy herself with the shadows of the past. Sivir couldn't tear herself away from it, and she writhered in pain, the unfortunately familiar feeling of a desperate urge to run away choking her, making her hack up an uncomfortable amount of blood. Her mind swirled as she struggled to read the incomprehensible carvings on the binding of her brain. She had no idea of what was going on anymore, there were nothing but memories, and her thoughts became scattered as Sivir slipped into the blinding sea that was black fury.
She hears nothing but screaming, everywhere, and she feels as though it is the only thing she has ever heard before- the gurggling, the shrieking, the gagging, the whimpering. It is obscene and it is digusting. She cannot tell who is screaming or why, but she knows that it is misery. Perhaps she is the one screaming. The thought disappears when she takes note that you cannot scream without air. Her whole body shakes and her stomach flutters and twists. The nausea that has been her constant companion over the past few months grows until she's worried about turning inside out. She can't think with all this noise! She can't stop her shuddering breaths, can't stop her chattering teeth, can't form a coherent thought.
She looks down, or at least struggles to make the action happen, but feels as though there are tight chains that are binding her neck, twisting it so she cannot move an inch. Her throat is tight and she can only release a restricted wheeze. Her bony fingers are wrapped, no, locked,around something, and she wishes she can just peel away from the invisible collar for just a moment to take a tiny peek. The answer strikes her in the head like a bolt of lightning, and suddenly, she feels like crawling away to vomit up bile and blood, and bits of brain.
She has slipped back into the state of incoherent thoughts when she feels like she is opening her eyes for the first time since the day she was born. Her fingers are pulling at dark, shiny black hair, hair she wishes she had for herself, still attached to the body of a dead girl, Patient, her white wings folded neatly, but forever stained with the bitter colour of battle. At the mercy of her other hand, under her iron grip is her knife, one she has always had with her. It is just as coated in horror.
It looks like it has been used in a slaughterhouse for months.
She is making herself sick, extremely sick, and she decides that everything hates her, even herself. Especially herself. The scene around her isn't nothing but gore, and it all burns her eyes. Which she can just picture in head, the scene in which er rotting corpse dances with the satisfaction or flames licking at her skin. She does not wish to look at her own face, because by the feeling of the flaking dryness on her cheek and forehead, she knows it is just as disgusting as everything else. Under her broken, worn-out boots are puddles of dirt, filth, flesh and blood, and it sloshes around with an unappealing noise. She tries to focus on something, anything else, like walking, or possibly breathing, and not puking or the awful stench if death hanging in the air.
Suddenly, she is warped into a moment in time that she knows all too well. She is twelve again, the silver in her eyes dull and rounded with anguish, tinged with raw and tearful grief she had learned to control and swalow until this. This. This. THIS. She cannot squirm away- she is simply met with the terrifying beast that can only haunt her more than her own being. It is the essence of terror, and it floods through her body, through her nostrils, fills her veins, mixes with her blood. She wants to scream, to cry for help.
She doesn't. She only watches quietly in fear as the world ends.
There is nothing to describe it. Nothing. Only that her brother dies and his dead eyes are open as he is tossed to her feet. He is dead, dead like the turkey set at her table, dead like the silence tearing through her sanity, dead like the night, dead like her soul, dead like the world. He is dead. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. The word is numb on her tongue, and she reaches down to shut his eyes. Rolls him over with great care and gently crosses his arms against his (dead) chest. Takes off her plan white sweater and covers him, thinking about how unfair this is, how wrong, how inhuman.
The moment expands like an overinflated balloon as the monster stalks towards her petrified mother. She refuses to let it end like this.
So she gets back up and grabs a knife.
Her heart pounds, her face flushes. Every hair on her body stands at attention. Tremors shimmy and rattle through her in jarring fits and starts, like muddy water through rusted pipes. Her jaw clenches so hard it squeaks, and it is so high pitched she shivers. Anger and instinct team up and scream at her to take action. Her mother sees her as she raises the knife in a synchronized motion with the beast, shadows casting over shadows. But she is faster, much faster. This beast will die, die die die die die. The girl is suddenly grabbed by a strong urge to kill the monster, and a force that can only be described as evil.
The balloon bursts and the world explodes into a frenzy.
But in a flash it is gone, and the images drown away.
((I'm really just writing for the darn heck of it. I really wanted to just write about Sivir and all her conflicting thoughts and nightmares, so here it is. Blood blood everywhere! Hahah. I hope this stays alive, I really like this RP even if some think it's too slow. If you leave it'll never pick up, you know! Excuse my typos, I did this all in my iPod notes. I proofread this a couple times though, so yeah.))
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