♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V5♥

[Lincoln]

I have something short to say.

I just finished school, and my ex-boyfriend has a couple years of school left.
The other thing is, he's only my ex because his mom despises me, and won't let me talk to him AT ALL.
She got hold of his phone, and deleted and blocked my contact. And since I'm not allowed to talk to him, I can't give him my number. He also thinks the relationship is over.

[thunderofthedrum]

I have something short to say.

I just finished school, and my ex-boyfriend has a couple years of school left.
The other thing is, he's only my ex because his mom despises me, and won't let me talk to him AT ALL.
She got hold of his phone, and deleted and blocked my contact. And since I'm not allowed to talk to him, I can't give him my number. He also thinks the relationship is over.

I'm not sure why this is reposted.
Are you looking for advice? You simply said that you have something to say and I don't see any questions.

[NopesaurusRexx]

hes super sweet and i really like him

when ever we are out in public he gets jealous and really mean towards any guy i talk to or laugh with

He doesn't sound like he's super sweet. That kind of possessive behavior would be a red flag for me, especially since you're not even dating and therefore he doesn't have the right to get jealous in the first place. Next time it happens tell him sharply to cut it out. I wouldn't think he's ready for a relationship until he can act his age.

I half agree with this. Yes, it is possessive and it can be bad, but many times when people act this way they don't always realize it. Yes, the next time this happens tell him to cut it out, that you aren't dating, and even if you were he has no right to act that way. If it continues after you tell him to stop, or grows worse, it could be a sign of someone abusive. You would definitely want to reconsider anything with him at this point.

what is love?
i'm terrified. i know a month is too soon to confess after dating, but i'm terrified i won't grow to love my s/o. i care about them so so so much. it's really healthy in the sense of communication, and the fact we remain independent unlike my previous relationship. but i don't feel a fire, a magic, pangs in my chest from being overemotional, anything. i'm just content and euphoric when i'm with them, like i'm grounded and they bring me down from my mania. i don't want anyone else to have them, bc i'm jealous like that, and the thought of losing them terrifies me so i haven't told them any of this. and i sometimes crave someone else's touch bc they're not here with me (it's an ldr). i just want them here. i want to love them, i do. i want this to be right. but i overanalyze and overthink and ruin everything.
like i said, i know a month is too soon, but i'm just terrified it won't change.

Yes, love is described as fireworks, a deeply beating heart, and a ton of emotions. But love is also being at home with them. Love doesn't need fireworks to be love. What you have described is love. If you've only known them about a month, then yeah, it may be too soon. If you've known them a while before you've started dating, a month is not too soon at all.

[val.]

S asked me out!
I said yes cx
I'm sooo excited! I've liked him for about 3(?) years now, and he said he has too, but we've been too shy to admit it.
He texted me today and said it was a dare about asking me out and to say no, then I told him I liked him but was too shy
to say. Then he said he liked me too a lot, and hadn't had the (inappropriate word here) to ask me out.
So he did officially and I said yes :3 Then I asked why he had helped me with my ex and another boy at school I wanted to talk to
and he said it was to help him get over his jealousy ;-; <3
Sweet boy oh my cx

My best friend/ex is pisssssed though. I told him straight up, you faltered in our relationship so don't be saying he was a butt (another word used but worse) to you and stuff. You broke my heart and he stood up for me ;-; Well I'm gonna try and sleep cx I'll see him
and school tomorrow! c: We are going on a date Saturday, I'm excited.

[thunderofthedrum]

what is love?
i'm terrified. i know a month is too soon to confess after dating, but i'm terrified i won't grow to love my s/o. i care about them so so so much. it's really healthy in the sense of communication, and the fact we remain independent unlike my previous relationship. but i don't feel a fire, a magic, pangs in my chest from being overemotional, anything. i'm just content and euphoric when i'm with them, like i'm grounded and they bring me down from my mania. i don't want anyone else to have them, bc i'm jealous like that, and the thought of losing them terrifies me so i haven't told them any of this. and i sometimes crave someone else's touch bc they're not here with me (it's an ldr). i just want them here. i want to love them, i do. i want this to be right. but i overanalyze and overthink and ruin everything.
like i said, i know a month is too soon, but i'm just terrified it won't change.

Yes, love is described as fireworks, a deeply beating heart, and a ton of emotions. But love is also being at home with them. Love doesn't need fireworks to be love. What you have described is love. If you've only known them about a month, then yeah, it may be too soon. If you've known them a while before you've started dating, a month is not too soon at all.

I definitely feel that a month is too soon! There should NOT be pressure to feel such intense feelings for someone you have only been dating for FOUR WEEKS. My friend has been dating a guy for that long and she doesn't even know if she'd want to kiss him yet! Sure she likes him but she takes things slow and that's fine. Heck, my own boyfriend has felt intense passion, just losing himself to other girls, but is that good? Not necessarily! With those other girls came other intense emotions - anger, impatience, stress, etc. With me he feels somewhat like you described - grounded, calmed, comforted, content. He feels at home with me, he feels equal and supported and honest with me. I trust him and rely on him and feel safe with him.

Did that develop within one month?
Absolutely not.

Also - craving the physical side of a relationship is completely normal. But, that said, if they were here with you and you feel as you do now (unsure about things), would you really want them doing that physical side? Kissing you, touching you, etc? Would you feel ready? Would you feel okay with them putting themself out there when you are unsure? I just feel that jumping to saying that you 'crave someone else's touch' after just a month is a bit soon to be so concerned about that. Lastly, would you ever even get the chance to meet up? If you worry that you will get involved but never get to meet up and never get to try out the physical side of being with each other, then maybe that IS something to think about. Teens often don't have the means to meet with their LDR partners but as an adult at least, it's really important to be able to have that goal, that light at the end of the tunnel that you guys are working towards. For example, my relationship is long distance as well, and my boyfriend is being deployed in a few days. I can't even tell you how much it sucks and how much I dread it. However, he will be back next year and I am very determined to be there upon his return (even that is across the country). I have that goal to work towards and save money for, to count down the days until.

[kay.]

hes super sweet and i really like him

when ever we are out in public he gets jealous and really mean towards any guy i talk to or laugh with

He doesn't sound like he's super sweet. That kind of possessive behavior would be a red flag for me, especially since you're not even dating and therefore he doesn't have the right to get jealous in the first place. Next time it happens tell him sharply to cut it out. I wouldn't think he's ready for a relationship until he can act his age.

I have to agree with this since I've been through it myself. Me and my crush aren't in a relationship, never were, and once when a guy just came over to me in class he pinned him down to the wall saying not to go near me. That was when we were incredibly close and I found it sweet, but it really isn't. A few months later we started to argue badly, but he was still very protective of me and any time I spoke to another guy or even went near one, even if we had been friends for ages, he would get protective and threaten them either in front of me or behind my back, or when we were alone speak about it and talk really badly about it.

Though it probably won't end that way to you, I suggest not to risk it. Please tell him that not every guy is a threat, especially since you aren't even dating, and that you are able to take care of yourself and don't need him to get possessive or jealous. Being mean is never a good thing.

[Casistrophic]

hes super sweet and i really like him

when ever we are out in public he gets jealous and really mean towards any guy i talk to or laugh with

He doesn't sound like he's super sweet. That kind of possessive behavior would be a red flag for me, especially since you're not even dating and therefore he doesn't have the right to get jealous in the first place. Next time it happens tell him sharply to cut it out. I wouldn't think he's ready for a relationship until he can act his age.

I have to agree with this since I've been through it myself. Me and my crush aren't in a relationship, never were, and once when a guy just came over to me in class he pinned him down to the wall saying not to go near me. That was when we were incredibly close and I found it sweet, but it really isn't. A few months later we started to argue badly, but he was still very protective of me and any time I spoke to another guy or even went near one, even if we had been friends for ages, he would get protective and threaten them either in front of me or behind my back, or when we were alone speak about it and talk really badly about it.

Though it probably won't end that way to you, I suggest not to risk it. Please tell him that not every guy is a threat, especially since you aren't even dating, and that you are able to take care of yourself and don't need him to get possessive or jealous. Being mean is never a good thing.

Yeah, my freshman year roommate had a boyfriend who was possessive, and she considered it "sweet" at first too...then it became less sweet. He would accuse her of cheating on him and call her names if she so much as spoke to another guy in class. He told her she was only allowed to wear sweatpants and loose clothing out in public because form-fitting clothing would be "advertising herself" to other men. Told her she needed his permission to dye her hair and even had a specific set of rules for what colors he would permit. Told her she wasn't allowed to bring her swimsuit to college because, once again, "advertising herself" to other men, made her transfer out of an elective that involved swimming and take a different class. By the time I realized that he was abusing her he had a stranglehold on her and had pretty much convinced her that his behavior was normal and that she didn't deserve anything better.

I'm not trying to be alarmist at all but because of that experience of seeing my roommate go through what she did, possessiveness/jealousy is my biggest red flag and I absolutely slam on the breaks when I see it. The two questions I ask myself are always 1) Will I still consider this behavior "sweet" six months from now? Or am I hoping that he will stop acting this way once we are in a relationship? and 2) Am I depending on this behavior staying at the level it currently is? What happens if/when he becomes even more possessive?

[Casistrophic]

Man, this long distance thing is such a drag.

My last relationship began on the internet and was long distance 100% of the time. There was never a point where we could regularly see each other, every time we got together was just a visit. Having now been with my current boyfriend for almost a year at this point, most of which has been spent just down the road from each other, I don't know how I did it. Now we're long distance for the next year because he is finishing up his degree and I am practically counting down until I can see him on a daily basis again x_x

He's definitely worth the wait, I am just sad that I can't see him whenever I want. He used to stay over in my dorm room with me every weekend, now we've seen each other 3 times since May and the frequency of his visits are going to drop off sharply now that the school year is starting up again.

[Beebs]

Man, this long distance thing is such a drag.

My last relationship began on the internet and was long distance 100% of the time. There was never a point where we could regularly see each other, every time we got together was just a visit. Having now been with my current boyfriend for almost a year at this point, most of which has been spent just down the road from each other, I don't know how I did it. Now we're long distance for the next year because he is finishing up his degree and I am practically counting down until I can see him on a daily basis again x_x

He's definitely worth the wait, I am just sad that I can't see him whenever I want. He used to stay over in my dorm room with me every weekend, now we've seen each other 3 times since May and the frequency of his visits are going to drop off sharply now that the school year is starting up again.

Bah, I know the feeling. Unfortunately, I can't legally drive alone nor do I want my boyfriend to drive three hours just to visit when we both have marching band which takes up a good chunk of our time over the weekends and we both have radically different schedules on the weekends. Not to mention it was pretty dangerous just for us to visit each other constantly when we were five minutes away. Haven't seen him since the end of May, and while I don't mind waiting, there's a part of of me that's being really dragged down by the whole thing.

At least you have a set date until he should be coming back, our long distance is practically indefinite for the next two years. :'D

But hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

[Casistrophic]

I can legally drive, but I am a pretty bad driver. I can get myself to Applebees and back without dying but I don't trust myself on the highway, especially for 3 1/2 hours.