by apollo. » Wed Jul 01, 2015 5:36 pm
Ugh my mother. I'm so frustrated right now.
She finds every excuse possible to yell at me and make a huge scene. There's no such thing as the right choice with her, whatever I have done, she just needs to me to do the opposite of. She tells me to make my own decision, and then will correct me immediately after and tell me to change everything. Maybe she thinks that if she yells at me enough I'll become her perfect little daughter, one who has lots of friends and straight A's in school. The one who isn't afraid of talking to people, or of trying out something new.
Unfortunately, I'm just me. I don't know why she thinks she can change me into that person, but she's always trying and making me miserable as a result. She's just always in a bad mood and takes that out on everyone. A few weeks ago she wanted to have a nice shopping day with me, which is really uncharacteristic, so naive me thought it was her way of apologizing. Nope. The day started off "great" when she implied I needed to loose weight because I looked fat in the shorts I was trying on, and got even better when she yelled at me for taking too long, and was grumpy and unwilling to talk the whole day.
She micromanages everything i do and when I look back at everything I wanted, but let go of because she disapproved it really upsets me. I don't know why I let her push me around like that, but It feels impossible to stand up to her. I don't know what to do about it.