O F F I C I A L _ P A R O D Y
Sora's Diary
KARMA'S DEATHCAP
KARMA'S DEATHCAP
here's to luck number three!
THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS!
THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A VENUS FLYTRAP!
^^ read these two first! Everything here will make so much more sense if you do! This is the third book!
THE FANCLUB!
^NOTE: I didn't start that fan club, and am not in charge of it
THE DIARY HEADQUARTERS
THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A VENUS FLYTRAP!
^^ read these two first! Everything here will make so much more sense if you do! This is the third book!
THE FANCLUB!
^NOTE: I didn't start that fan club, and am not in charge of it
THE DIARY HEADQUARTERS
Dear book that is property of KARMA,
Heeeyyyy derrrrrrr. I suppose that you are now hopelessly confused as to why your empty pages are now being filled by an angsty, flighty, over-all psychotic awesome teenage girl like me. Don't worry, it will all become obvious to you soon. All I have to do is give you a name... oh, I got it! You're a Deathcap! It's kinda like a mushroom, but infinitely cooler, deadlier, and non-hallucinogenic.
So, I'll fill you in on everything that you missed (Your older brothers the CACTUS and VENUS FLYTRAP already know what's up, but you don't, little Deathcap.) Anyway, my name is Karma. I go to Avian high school. For some reason, I'm a dog that writes a diary (and I have a rather impressive armada of colored pens for all the dialogue). I really HATE writing diaries, but I'm somehow on my third one... funny how that works.... Anyway, I have four annoying siblings, two clueless parents, one homicidal boyfriend, one fluffy cat, one kick-sass bestfriend, four best friends that aren't as kick-sass, one clique of epic outcasts, and.... ugh... I feel like I'm forgetting something.....
Oh yeah! I just woke up from a coma.
And I know you're saying, WHAT?! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!! But it's true. I have *sob* had my second coma without the past year. Is it healthy for a fifteen year old to be unconscious so often? Probably not. But heck if I know, I'm not a doctor. You know, sometimes I feel like comas are my excuse for everything in life. It's - like - the ultimate answer for anything...
Exhibit A: Friends: KARMA! WHY DID YOU DISAPPEAR WHILE THE ENTIRE SCHOOL WAS BEING OVER-RUN BY A POPULARITY CULT!
Me: Sorry, guys! I was in a coma!
Exhibit B: Friends: KARMA! WHY DID YOU MISS THE ENTIRE SECOND SEMESTER OF SCHOOL?!
Me: Sorry, guys! I was in a coma!
Exhibit C: Mother: KARMA, WHY HAVEN'T YOU WASHED THE DISHES?
Me: Oh my Avian! MOM, FOR THE LAST TIME, I WAS IN A COMA! Get off of my case >.>
Apparently, I kept a diary while I was in a coma, and I hear what I wrote was pretty messed up. Something about being a fallen angel? Wow, now that is REALLY crazy. My doctors handed it over to some nice professors in white coats to study, and now my parents insist on sending me to a psychologist. Why, I have no idea. It's not like I KNEW I was subconsciously writing the world's next best-selling supernatural YA novel.
They say I've been in a coma ever since those people broke into my house - it wasn't school students, by the way, just some random burglary by an intoxicated homeless man - and they think I hit my head when I went to go hide in the crawlspace. I had called Raven on my way down there, and when he got there, he found me unconscious and called 911. (You see! Take that, parents who think my boyfriend is homicidal! HA! Not that they KNOW he's my boyfriend... unless someone told them.....)
Anyway, it's summer now. The last day of school was yesterday. (Good news! For some illogical reason, I don't have to repeat the 10th grade, even though I slept through half of it! Apparently, I didn't miss anything important!) I'm going shopping with Layna, Lexi, and Hollie tomorrow. We're going to get our summer style on B)
Oh, and I probably should mention this: no one has seen Raven since the day I went into a coma.
COINCIDENCE? I think notI'm sure he'll reappear now that I'm conscious though. He usually does.
Next part: LET'S GO TO THE MALL!
