A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With it

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A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With it

Postby Rooster Cult » Thu Jun 04, 2015 11:28 am

Plot:
Jeremy, Landon, Rachel and Jax are young geniuses who have never actually done anything with there lives, that is until Jeremy has a working theory for a time machine. But what no one knows is that time can only travel backwards, and soon Jeremy, Jax, Landon and Rachel find themselves not only permanently stuck in the past, but they also find the past rewriting itself; so that they were never born in the first place.

Okay okay I am very sorry. But I have to make this story. I've had alot of interesting plot lines, but if I don't start on this one I am going to explode. I will try not to neglect every other project I'm working on.

so The way this is going to be written is going to be kinda confusing so I'm going to explain it here.
This will be written in first person POV form, but for four different characters. so it's kind of a journal where they each put their own entry.
here is a key so you can tell who's writing

Jeremy will be writing in normal script like this
Landon always pushes his pencil down too hard
Rachel has a more elegant style of writing
Jax's writing is indiscernible from Jeremy's, so he uses a blue pen'

CAST:
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Last edited by Rooster Cult on Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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entry one

Postby Rooster Cult » Thu Jun 04, 2015 3:53 pm


Day: 17
Month: March
Year: 19??

It's been a while since the incident. Since we screwed everything up. It was my idea that we should write this to warn future generations what not to do, and how to deal with the problem once you make it.
Your idea my butt! It was your idea to build the time machine, it was all your idea. Come on, give the rest of us some credit you narcissistic jerk.
Landon! Stop stealing the journal!
:p
Anyway... I was going to start with a nice introductory paragraph or two, but since Landon screwed everything up and you can never erase what he write, maybe we should just skip that.
How about we just stop bickering and introduce ourselves
FINE~
Great dude, you just scribbled on the journal
that's because you took the journal before I was done writing
G guys, can we stop fighting please?
AH HA HA, you even have a stutter when you write?
I made a mistake and couldn't erase it.
SHUT IT! If you have a problem, actually talk about it, don't use the journal to text. We are gonna drive the readers away.
Anyway, I guess I will set the example since the boys can never do anything by themselves
My name is Rachel, I'm the only girl in this whole group and the only one with any manners or common sense
You can usually tell when I'm the one writing because I actually try to write nice.

I'm smarter than you and you know it
alright then mister bigshot
As you know, my name is Landon, I'm Rachel's younger brother, by only a year though, and you can usually tell when I write because I write pretty dark

My name is Jeremy. I'm the one who first came up with this whole time travel idea.
I'm Jax. I write With a pen because I have indiscernable hand writing. And uh... I like coffee
Booo. Lame.
Stop picking on me T_T
ok, new rule. From now on, one person writes an entry. And we can not respond. Got that
Fine
YOU'RE A BUTT RACHEL
ok, now that I've said that I'm good.

Thanks Rachel.
Last edited by Rooster Cult on Fri Jun 05, 2015 2:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With

Postby Woogwoo Wren » Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:19 pm

:lol: this is going to be awesome.
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Re: A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With

Postby Rooster Cult » Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:25 pm

Thank you
I'm glad you though it was funny and not just annoying
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Re: A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With

Postby Sperophim » Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:49 pm

Super excited bro!!! This sounds fun.
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Re: A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With

Postby Rooster Cult » Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:59 pm

It should be really fun. Very very funnn
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Re: A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With

Postby Woogwoo Wren » Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:59 pm

It better be. :twisted:

Jk.
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"An eye for an eye
Hello! I'm Wren! I'm in my mid-teens and live
in New Zealand. I enjoy writing, reading, watching videos,
cosplaying, and drawing occasionally! I'm a Christian,
and always up to meeting new friends!

~ P ~ M ~ A ~
| Stories| A03 | Wattpad |
| RWBY | Merlin | Doctor Who | HP |
| 🐦| 🐺 | 🔬 | 🦊 |
|

and the world goes blind."
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Re: A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With

Postby vigilante » Thu Jun 04, 2015 10:25 pm

    I hope this gets better, I for one find it quite annoying
    although the plot is somewhat interesting
    Also, may I just ask a question, is it a given that the main character always has to be the generic, 'normal' person?
    It would've been much more eye-catching if the focus and the idea of time-travel belonged to Landon, however eccentric he is.
    In fact, his eccentricity would probably the reason why it'd be so captivating.
    One - or a few - more thing(s);
    I do not understand why they are bothering to make this guide, how do they expect anyone to find it?
    The conversation at the beginning with Jeremy and Landon makes no sense either, Jeremy said it was his idea to create the journal while Landon asks him to give the rest of them credit for the time travel idea
    it has no link to each other. To be honest, it actually makes no sense at all.
    It would also be better if the G in Jax's mistake could be crossed out, instead of him just leaving it there.
    Another thing that doesn't make sense is that they're all writing to each other on the book instead of talking since they'd have to be right next to one another.
    In my opinion, you should think things through before putting them in action.
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Re: A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With

Postby Rooster Cult » Fri Jun 05, 2015 2:15 am

Thank you for your critique it is very helpful
But I would like to say that I did think this stuff through and I will explain everything the best I can.
When it comes down to it, the main character/time traveler is actually all four of the characters, none of them take the total spotlight
Like in Heroes of Olympus or Scorpion, no one truly knows who the main character is.

They are making this guide in the hopes to publish it as a "fiction novel" so that when people read it they will hopefully not make the stupid mistake that they made.
The conversation in the begining was meant to be ambiguois and it would later be revealed that Jeremy has a habit of saying that everything was his idea, when it actually took the four of them to come up with it/pull it off. Also Landon put in the Time machine comment to point out other times when Jeremy has said the whole thing
Landon was reading what Jeremy was writing, and since he knows that Jeremy would never really rewrite that part, he took the notebook and wrote down that comment so that the readers would be able to see how wrong he was.
And then, Well one thing led to another, so then they started to use the journal to write instead of actually talking.
As you can see from Rachel, she also thought that was stupid and continiuosly told them to stop

I hope this clears some things up for you
And yeah, I knew I was taking the risk of being annoying instead of funny. But what I realized is that comedy usually attracts more readers.
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Re: A Time Traveler's Guide to the Past and How to Deal With

Postby vigilante » Fri Jun 05, 2015 7:27 am

    I see, perhaps next time you should make things more clearer? But you don't have to reveal it later, it's already quite evident that he always says it's his idea.
    Maybe adding in a simple 'Just like before when you did this...'
    You should also be careful when using sarcasm, in things like this, sarcasm can usually only be used when it's blatantly obvious.
    Also, Rachel only asked them once to stop, not continuously
    If you have thought these things through as well as I assume, your next step should be reviewing your writing and asking yourself, 'Will this make sense to the reader? Or does it only make sense in my head?'
    The fact that you have to explain this to me is also another sign that you haven't properly carried out what was supposedly in your head, too consumed by excitement I presume?
    But since you have mentioned the 'later revealed,' I will offer my comments once you are finished, if that is alright with you.
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