Pinnacle -Lock please-

[DRdoctorlady]

but the part that didn't make it through due to CS retardedness, included bullets, rotten lettuce, and an abandoned china buffet.
:D

[DRdoctorlady]

I absolutely hate Chicken Smoothie.
Period.
Oh well, I suppose I should rewrite AGAIN the part Chapter 1b.
*slowly begins pulling all hair out*

Chapter 1b
--------> Continuation
Compulsively I twist out of the way, disorientating myeslf as I roll away, keeping low to the ground. I can hear the sharp crack of a gun, a soft outtake of breath, and a shrill scream. Trying to pull myself together I come up on my knees, with both palms pressed into the concrete ground. I hear another shot and feel a slight breeze as something whizzes past my arm. Fearfully I tuck into a ball and roll a bit more before popping up and taking in my surroundings dizzily.
I see Ralf standing slack-jawed, his gun loose at his side. I dare to take my eyes away for a moment to look at Coon.
He's biting his lip and his eyes are filled with tears. He's clutching his shoulder, and in between his fingers, small rivulets of blood trickle out onto his pants. His captor looks shocked, though he's still holding Coon in a stranglehold.
I'm startled when I hear the gun-man start to chuckle. Whipping around I glare at him. He stands there laughing as if almost killing me and Coon were funny.
"These are some feisty kidlings! Almost hit 'chu Willis! Dayumn, that girl's a quick one," He says, slapping his knee. Mystified, I watch as Willis laughs, though he keeps a strong grip on Coon. I could've spit in his grimy face.
"If only they'd been part of the Regime Change, we 'could've put them to work in the fields! But 'chu know the rules, the RC don't take no strangers, 'specially ones in RC territory. We just kill 'em!" Willis says, tightening his arm around Coon's neck, still chuckling.
I snapped.
Without a second thought, right when Ralf was about to reply, I sprang at Willis, and knocked right into him, sending him sprawling with the combined weight of me, Coon, and my pack. Ralf shoots his gun in surprise at the ceiling, which unleashes a cloud of dust that quickly obscures the air. Without a second glance backwards I yank Coon to his feet and we sprint towards the exit a few feet away. I hear another bang and the concrete frame around the door gets hit, sending up a puff of powdered concrete.
Once out of the building, I run faster as another bullet whizzes past from the warehouse. I instinctively crouch, though that still wouldn't have done any good had the man shot just a little more accurately. I hear loud cursing and heavy footsteps along with the unmistakeable sound of a gun being shot. Tumbling around the corner, I set my sights on the knot of derelict restaurants ahead, singling out the nearest one, an old Chinese Take-out.
Hurtling across the parking lot, I drag the barely keeping up Coon inside, breathing heavily while I thrust open the doors and head for the back of the restaurant, jumping a small table to get to the kitchen in the back.
Inside the abandoned kitchen I quickly scan for a hiding place. An island counter is in front of me and I go around it to crouch behind, Coon knocking down a heavy iron pan on his way.
I breathe in sharply as it makes a loud clatter, not daring to move. A ball of rotten lettuce falls dully down on the pan and stosp some of the movement, though my heart is still beating on overdrive.
And so began the hardest wait of my life.

[Ser'reth]

w00t! This day just keeps getting better and better! <3<3<3<3
I can't stop listening to 'Shadows' by red now x]

Stupid CS, and its stupidity....

[AngelInWaiting]

Wow, that was intense 0_0 You write suspense and action very well

[DRdoctorlady]

XD thankie much
I'm sure if Jarrah was here...
She would mug you for all your food.
But thats besides the point :3
And for deh Serreth, I would say most of the lyrics don't apply to Jarrah at this moment in time but right as she's on her deathbed-
heh heh heh I suppose I'll stop spoiling too much

[DRdoctorlady]

XP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRehZJbg ... 60&index=3

[DRdoctorlady]

I have too much trouble with tenses -_-"
But without further ado, my hyperactive mind presents yet another part to the storeh for you guys putting up with me for so (at least in my mind) long :D

Chapter 1c
--------> Continuation
I waited and waited, not daring to move an inch, while Coon rocked slightly. His face was contorted in pain, and he kept on sucking in his breath. I felt like slapping him, but that would've made an even louder noise. I was in a lose/lose situation here.
I crouched in that uncomfortable position until my legs felt like they were on fire and my mind was reduced to singing "Elmo's World" over and over again. Coon continued to make that face, and I noticed his shoulder was still bleeding. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.
"Get up," I hissed. Coon seemed to take a while to register what I said before he got shakily to his feet, swaying slightly on his heels. I wish I could say I jumped up to my feet, but really, I rustily stretched upwards, wincing as my muscles protested against moving at all. With a violent popping noise I stood up completely and stretched, knowing that if the adults were still out there, I'd likely be peppered in bullet holes in a minute. Instead I stayed wonderfully whole.
I looked around carefully, then gently tried to peel Coon's fingers away from his shoulder. He started crying again, but didn't say anything, as I pried his fingers away from the wound with a wet squelch. Holding back some vomit I steeled myself and took a look.
It was a mess. There was congealed blood and some fibers from his shirt and ughhh all around it. I swallowed back the bile and reached downwards to get my water bottle.
"Are they gone?" Coon whimpered in a small voice.
"I don't know... Do you think the bullets still in there?" I said truthfully, pouring the water on his wound to clear it up, not wanting to touch it. I forced myself to rub some of the excess blood away. Coon shouted and ripped himself out of my grip, unleashing a long strip of expletives. I winced and said sorry.
"Ughh, it hurts," he whined, convulsing a little. I made soothing noises and rinsed away as much as I could with the remainder of the bottle. After a while, a small bit of metal dropped, not big enough to be a bullet, but probably one of the fragments. This could be worse than it already looked if there was too much fragmentation.
"Okay, so we needed to get this clean so it wouldn't fester but... Yughh!" I pulled back my hand when the wound spurted some fresh blood on my fingers.
"God **** it Jarrah!" He yelled, as his wound started pouring out more blood. "Geezus that hurts!"
"Calm down, your heart is beating faster and pumping out more blood," I said quickly, remembering that little tidbit.
"Calm down? Calm down!? What the h*** Jarrah! I'm not gonna calm down," he said, hopping up and down. I grabbed him and held him down forcefully on the dirty tile floor. I watied for his ragged breathing to slow down before I let him back up, cautiously watching him. He glared at me but stayed calm.
"Now, without basically letting everything in the city know where we are, let's check your wound," I said calmly. Muttering, he turned his shoulder to me.
It wasn't pretty.
It looked like the bullet had gone through his arm, creating a furrow of exposed, blackened muscle fibers. If it had gone in a little lower, it would've been a straight hole through his arm and probably would've hit his bone. I sucked in my breath through my teeth, unsure of how to deal with this beyond cleaning it.
"What?" Coon asked, panicking again. Immediatley I tried to calm him again before more blood came rushing out.
"Its okay, we just need to get a bandage on it... And get you to Laurel before it gets infected and attracts flies."

[Ser'reth]

Hurgh, blood *faints*

*flails* Yaaay-ness. I love this story owo

[DRdoctorlady]

:D I SHALL BASK IN THE LOVE
And now for the salsa.
*pours salsa over everything*

[AngelInWaiting]

Ugh the blood was so realistic that I'm grossed out xD Good job?... haha