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by Amethysts » Tue Mar 31, 2015 9:58 am
Amethysts wrote:Meh. So its back again. My room mate is aware and he's worried. He seen me do things and cry myself to sleep half the nights.. I lost my best friend too, but apparently its not phasing her hard enough since I am in love with her. She knows.. Sadly, her mate thinks otherwise. He cheats, treats her crap and isn't even in love with her. All her friends hate him, and he lies about me, so now everyone is beginning to phase me out over this. All the friends i've ever had or have, were really never my friends.. I met someone two days ago just like me and I clicked amazingly well, because she goes through chronic depression and I go through severe depression. She does everything I do. Down to the crying. I've opened up to two of my friends about a "secret" I had and I tell no one. Including my parents. They don't know either. No matter how hard I try to forget I can't. Its indented in my brain. I cringe at the thought of everything. I never thought i'd be back on this thread, but apparently i was wrong. My mother is aware of this. She knows. I've spoken about it before with her, but not recent. So she practically doesn't know. Only 3 people know. Maybe 4 or 5. But only 3 I trust most. I lost everyone. If it wasn't for ny room mate, I would not be here typing this today. I knew somewhere I'd figure out that I am worthless all over again. Like I am just taking up space, and time of others for them to even know I exist. Maybe back then when I was being cyberbullied for lying so much, maybe I was suppose to be gone, but sometimes people change. I know I did.. but was it a positive change? I dont even know. I barely eat or even sleep. I just want people to understand and not walk away, when i need them the most.
I need to teach myself to not fall easily in love with anyone.
Especially your best friend ... It's killing me I can't talk to her anymore.
I love her so much ..e.e
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Amethysts
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by ProudHufflepuff » Tue Mar 31, 2015 11:27 am
So tomorrow a new student is coming to my school and I get to be a host for her, like walk her to all her classes and stuff. I wouldn't normally wanna do stuff like this cause I think I have social anxiety but my guidance counselor asked and I didnt wanna say no so I kinda have to now. It's kinda good cause I've been trying to push myself and get over this stuff and I've always kinda wanted to do this kinda thing, like be a new persons first friend, make them feel welcomed....but I'm kinda really nervous I know nothing about her all I know is I'm meeting her at guidance in the morning and she's gonna be in my lunch...I just hope she's nice
Like I'm hoping maybe this is gonna be a surprise and it's a good friend that I haven't met yet but I doubt it, and I'm kinda terrified that it's gonna be this girl who threatened to kill me in 3rd grade and moved away after she got in trouble. Idk what I'd do if it was her, but I couldn't just cancel on them. I mean it most likely won't be either of them but idk I'm nervous....but kinda really excited too
QUITTING! PETS FOR ADOPTION TO LOVING HOMES
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by BrainOnSka » Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:19 pm
Sorry I just need to rant... And maybe a hug. Woke up sick to my stomach at two in the morning.. As I was falling back asleep a weird dream left a nasty taste in my throat.. Literally.. Then only two hours later my box of nice'n'Clean eye glasses wipes fell off of the shelf, waking me up and probably my roommate, too. Go back to sleep, my phone died before my second alarm went off and woke up at 8:00. My first class was at 9.. Fast forward to one o'clock, the strange taste returned, bearing with it a feeling something bad would happen.. Then my laptop got a blue screen and shut itself down... That would have been all well and good, except that I can't remember my password.. So now I'm locked out of my laptop...
We wish you a merry Christmas
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by deerloverr » Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:19 pm
I just feel like curling up in my room and never coming out. My mom is quitting her job and we're gonna have to move into an apartment. I love my house and I have lived here for 9 years. Now I can't work for my moms boss for my spring break and earn money which I was really looking forward to. I was gonna go to disney in the summer and see my grandparents but now we don't have the money to do that. My life is falling apart my cat who is my only friend is dying and doesn't have much longer to live. I'm getting really bad grades in school cause I can't focus. I have moved schools almost every year of my life and this year sucks. No one likes me and I have no friends. They are all super rich and fancy and now here I am moving into a one bedroom apartment. Someone please help me I can't take life anymore. My whole family is depressed so I have no one to lean on. I hate life.
its almost my birthday!

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