at the mental institution

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at the mental institution

Postby Beyoncé » Thu Dec 18, 2014 3:19 am

Backstories
vivian morit
vivian is a 29-year-old female therapist who works at the mental institution. she dosen't necessarily want to work here, but she loves the people, and because of her more-than-spoiled childhood she feels that she needs to help others. she has been known to get too attached to patients, in a bad way, making her peers think lower of her. as said before, she was very spoiled, as her parents started Channel Seven, the biggest news channel in the world. although this should have made her a popular girl, she always had her head in a book. she was teased relentlessly. moving on to college, she got her masters at Princeton, and went straight to the institute.
hieght: 5'8
wieght: 125
eye color: gray
hair color: dirty blonde, dyes black with blonde streaks
sexuality: straight
attitude: happy-go-lucky, whimsical, caring
build: skinny, agile

jack remna
jack is a 30 year old lost cause. he got into the institute by starting a fight with a tree, and his parents seeing. he was put into solitary confinement when he tried to kill one of the other patients. he has been known to be very flirty with his therapists, and that's another reason why he was put into solitary confinment. He had a concussion when he was 19 so he does not remeber his childhood.
hieght: 6'5
wieght: 137
eye color: hazel
hair color: red
sexuality: bi
attitude: sarcastic, rude, flirtatious
build: tall, clumsy.
Last edited by Beyoncé on Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:52 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: at the mental institution

Postby Beyoncé » Thu Dec 18, 2014 4:21 pm

Chapter I
vivian walked through the empty hallway, red heels making a clacking noise, not looking around at the potentially deadly people in the cells surrounding her. she finally arrived at cell 32.18, and fished her key card out of her brown, silk jumpsuit. Look at it, she sighed. "mental institute worker 42.13, therapist." she read aloud before scanning the card and walking in to join her patient.
Chapter 2
"hello, jack!" Vivian said cheerily. she sat on the cold, metal chair and grabbed the clipboard neatly placed on top of it. nearly writing all the needed information, she asked the most important question, "how are you doing?" "well… the food here tastes like fish barf, there is no books, and the toilets not a luxury either, so I guess it's pretty crappy, babe." he replied, with a quick comment at the end , "I will sue." "Sure you will" Vivian laughed, before getting serious again. "But remember, I'm your therapist, not your girlfriend."
Chapter 3
After finishing all the questions, Jack asked an unusual question to say the least, "When am I getting out?" Vivian looked at her paper and raised an eyebrow. "you can leave now if you want to. I think that you have met your requirements. I'll go tell the head doctor." she walked out, with a slight sadness. he was always her favourite patient.
Chapter 4
"okay, Jack!" you're all ready to go. Vivian said, handing him his release papers, and records. she gave him a brisk hug, with him squeezing a bit too tight for her skinny figure "that's too tight!" she whispered. he came out of the hug, with a slight blush. he was about to leave when Vivian remembered, she ran up to him, and handed him a buisness card, which she had scrawled, 'in case you need help :-)'
later that week…
after a stressful day, Vivian's phone started to ring. "Hello?" She asked "um… hello, is this Vivian?" a voice asked from the other side. she automatically knew it was Jack.
------------////-------------
Now what do you think happens next? post, and I will post the next chapters once 4 people post, so this is kindva interactive .3.
Last edited by Beyoncé on Sun Jan 04, 2015 12:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: at the mental institution

Postby mermaidva » Thu Jan 01, 2015 8:56 pm

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *-*
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Re: at the mental institution

Postby Beyoncé » Sun Jan 04, 2015 5:14 am

Bump. Would love some critique and ideas for the next couple chapters
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Re: at the mental institution

Postby LYKOICXDED » Sun Jan 04, 2015 10:26 am

Characters; The characters can use a bit of development, as I have a hard time visualizing both of them. Perhaps post tiny backstories for them, as well as descriptions?

Grammar; Overall Grammar was really well. Although these small paragraphs shouldn't be seperate chapters. What you've written so far could be one chapter.

All in all, I'd like to see more so I can see how you improve upon this writing.
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Re: at the mental institution

Postby Beyoncé » Sun Jan 04, 2015 12:28 pm

Salt 'n Pepper wrote:Characters; The characters can use a bit of development, as I have a hard time visualizing both of them. Perhaps post tiny backstories for them, as well as descriptions?

Grammar; Overall Grammar was really well. Although these small paragraphs shouldn't be seperate chapters. What you've written so far could be one chapter.

All in all, I'd like to see more so I can see how you improve upon this writing.


Okay doing now.
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Re: at the mental institution

Postby Beyoncé » Mon Jan 05, 2015 12:53 pm

Chapter 5
"Yes, Jack?" She asked, wondering if there was a reason why he called her.
You decide why he called her. Post to say why .-.
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Re: at the mental institution

Postby Beyoncé » Thu Jan 08, 2015 5:56 pm

Up
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Re: at the mental institution

Postby Woogwoo Wren » Mon Mar 30, 2015 7:30 pm

He is locked in his basement, and can't get out. XD.
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