by A*Viola*Named*Steve » Thu Mar 26, 2015 3:07 pm
Dear Me,
Get a hold of yourself. You know the material. STOP FAILING YOUR TESTS. New schools are hard, especially when it's not organized as well it should be. You're doing well in Math again. So stop failing other subjects' tests!
And stop feeling awkward when you can't find a partner to work with. You work better on your own-you don't have to worry about being overbearing or a control freak or scheduling times for working on projects. And quite a few of the kids in your classes can be jerks, anyway. And stop being scared about telling a teacher if someone's cheating. You can give the culprits dirty looks, but that won't do anything.
And put the past in the past!! It's over, you can stop feeling bad about something you did. You can stop feeling the need to apologize after you've already done so. Multiple times.
And quiet your mouth every once in a while. If you want to say your opinions, do so where you won't be judged for them...
On second thought, it doesn't matter. You have unpopular opinions, and that'll get a LOT of people mad at you. Just know when you can say them.
Write a lot. Draw a lot. Read a lot. Do whatever it takes to keep you sane-you have a bunch on your plate, and the colossal amount of responsibility on you is crushing-just do what you like every once in a while. Do, read, and watch things that make you happy more often than make you sad. This goes for the depression you're beginning to slip into, too. Keep doing your hobbies, and stop letting your friend's problems put a stormcloud over your head. You can try to help them, but part of the mess is their own free agency, and you can't help them if they won't listen. Stop feeling guilty that you won't be there for her, physically, when she needs it most-you moved. It's not your fault.
Start following your own advice.
And get more sleep! Your grades are suffering because of it.
Keep going,
Me.
Dear MF and NM,
Thank you so much. You guys actually listened. You two let me unload my own emotional baggage. Most of my other friends would expect me to listen and give advice to them when they had problems. They either couldn't or wouldn't listen when I had some secrets that were weighing me down, and I admit, some of that was my fault-I either didn't want to burden anyone or get them thinking that they were guilty of something wrong when they were already unstable mental/emotional-wise. But others either wouldn't hear it or didn't have the attention span and would keep interrupting me when I was trying to talk about them for anything. But you guys would listen to my griefs in exchange to me helping to lift you through yours.
MF and NM, though you'll probably never read this and I'm too shy and awkward to tell this to you two outright, I think you guys are probably my two closest, and maybe even truest, friends. You didn't let me become the back wheel.
Thanks,
Viola
And let me just say you're kinda cute in your own little way, kinda reminds me of one of my old friends in 4-H.
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