Riptide | Posting Open

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
Forum rules
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.

Riptide | Posting Open

Postby the force awakens. » Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:26 am

Vance Joy - Riptide wrote:I was scared of dentists and the dark
I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations
Oh, all my friends are turning green
You're the magician's assistant in their dreams

Oh, and they come unstuck


Synopsis wrote:In which a young teen boy finds love in what he fears most: The idea of conversations and the dark.


Here is the link to the new story I'll be working on here, as in Chicken Smoothie.
The title and story will be based off of the song Riptide by Vance Joy, and I hope you guys take the time to come here and critique when the time comes and I allow it.
Last edited by the force awakens. on Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image
WILL FINISHWILL FINISH
Image
▓▓▓▓▓
WHAT YOU
┌────────────────┐
xxxstarlit queenxxx
hi! my name is star
and I really like sta
r wars and cats c:
the mcu, harry pot
ter and books are
pretty cool as well!
pm me if you want
to be friends! <3

└────────────────┘
Image
coding // somni
Image
User avatar
the force awakens.
 
Posts: 9251
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:10 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Characters and Setting | Updated as Story Proceeds

Postby the force awakens. » Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:34 am

Main Characters wrote:Daniel Bravis | Fifteen | Male | Face Claim: Dylan O'Brian
Kacey Linda Macas | Sixteen | Female | Face Claim: Shailene Woodley


Reoccurring Characters wrote:Lucy Bravis | Twelve | Female | Face Claim: Johnny Sequoyah
Xavier Grandale | Seventeen | Male | Face Claim: Ashton Iwrin


Setting wrote:The setting of the first portion of the story is set in Daytona Beach, Florida, where the world's most famous beach stands and the story begins.
It's early spring as the story starts, however spring break season has ended for the locals and all of the college students. The setting is in 2015, and the weather is beginning to reach eighty degrees or higher in terms of Fahrenheit.
Image
WILL FINISHWILL FINISH
Image
▓▓▓▓▓
WHAT YOU
┌────────────────┐
xxxstarlit queenxxx
hi! my name is star
and I really like sta
r wars and cats c:
the mcu, harry pot
ter and books are
pretty cool as well!
pm me if you want
to be friends! <3

└────────────────┘
Image
coding // somni
Image
User avatar
the force awakens.
 
Posts: 9251
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:10 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Reserved

Postby the force awakens. » Mon Mar 09, 2015 9:34 am

This is a reserved post in case I decide to add any other portions of importance.
Image
WILL FINISHWILL FINISH
Image
▓▓▓▓▓
WHAT YOU
┌────────────────┐
xxxstarlit queenxxx
hi! my name is star
and I really like sta
r wars and cats c:
the mcu, harry pot
ter and books are
pretty cool as well!
pm me if you want
to be friends! <3

└────────────────┘
Image
coding // somni
Image
User avatar
the force awakens.
 
Posts: 9251
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:10 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Chapter One

Postby the force awakens. » Tue Mar 10, 2015 3:37 am

April. It's an average month in Florida, and there's nothing of importance to me. I just know that standardized tests have concluded thanks to earlier test times, and that all remaining tourists are northerners who have spring break tremendously late. It's the perfect time for not feeling crowded.
Of course, I work across from the beach; in one of its busiest areas where I'm pretty much doomed to feel crowded if any tourists decide to look around. It's a beach supply store, and that's where I sit right now, flicking a guitar pick and mentally acting like I'm playing a large, acoustic guitar. I quietly sigh, and check the clock on the computer where I check out anyone whom purchases anything. It's four-twenty-six. Just four minutes, and then I can go home. My younger and only sister Lucy should be home by now, as if she didn't have to attend school from seven in the morning to one o'clock in the afternoon because it's required that students attend six hours of school during weekdays, and the county school board doesn't own the money to pay teachers any longer. It's actually quite sad, and a little irritating because it means all of the high school students are forced to wake up at five in the morning in order to look presentable for school. I've personally ceased trying; it gives me an extra half hour of sleep when I don't do my hair in some crazy format.
I look at my hair through the reflection the old and dusty monitor shows me; my reflection shows my bulged, rectangular glasses and short, light brown hair.
I sigh once again, this time louder, and I notice the time on the bottom of the screen reads four-thirty exactly. Thank goodness, I mentally think, knowing that it is a Friday and I know traffic will increase quickly if I don't get out sooner. I begin to use the feature of the computer software to time out, and I walk to the back of the store where my boss stays, knowing he'll wonder where I went otherwise. He's older, and I'm pretty sure he has all of the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease, although I won't be the one to tell him the latter. He acts his age, and even then a little bit older. "Daniel, you're still here, correct?" He speaks, not knowing I just informed him I was in his presence. "Yes, I am here," I respond.
"Could you possibly tell Xavier that he is to work an extra hour tonight? I'm pretty sure he needs punishment for showing up late today," my boss responds. "Him and his odd colors of hair. Teenagers these days..."
"Yes sir, I will get on that," I respond. I find Xavier, who went on break ten minutes ago. He and I are acquaintances at school; we've only talked a handful of times both here and there, and I'm quite thankful for that. He's kind of a punkish person, and he's a prime paragon of that stereotype. I find him in a closet in the back of the store, where inventory normally stays.
It's dark, and I normally fear the dark. This isn't an exception. "Ashton, just to let you know this, our boss told me that you have to stay here for extra time for showing up late, and besides, I'm out. Later."
I walk out with a small smirk on my face, ready to ride my bike home. It's been quite a long, tiring day, and thank goodness it's Friday.
Image
WILL FINISHWILL FINISH
Image
▓▓▓▓▓
WHAT YOU
┌────────────────┐
xxxstarlit queenxxx
hi! my name is star
and I really like sta
r wars and cats c:
the mcu, harry pot
ter and books are
pretty cool as well!
pm me if you want
to be friends! <3

└────────────────┘
Image
coding // somni
Image
User avatar
the force awakens.
 
Posts: 9251
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:10 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Riptide | Posting Open

Postby the force awakens. » Sat Mar 14, 2015 9:52 am

Bump - looking for feedback on this!
Image
WILL FINISHWILL FINISH
Image
▓▓▓▓▓
WHAT YOU
┌────────────────┐
xxxstarlit queenxxx
hi! my name is star
and I really like sta
r wars and cats c:
the mcu, harry pot
ter and books are
pretty cool as well!
pm me if you want
to be friends! <3

└────────────────┘
Image
coding // somni
Image
User avatar
the force awakens.
 
Posts: 9251
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:10 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Chapter Two

Postby the force awakens. » Fri May 29, 2015 1:54 am

After a rigorous bike ride home based off of the heavy sea breeze, I slam the brakes of my bicycle as I reach my house, one of the houses nearest the lighthouse. I take a breath of fresh salty air as I finally walk my standard bike into the two-car garage, ready just to take a break and prepare myself for whatever I decide to do later.
Inputting the correct code, the garage slowly rattles as it opens its mouth like structure. I walk my bicycle into a back corner of the garage. After that, I take off my olive green helmet, only using it because it came with the bicycle for free when I first bought it. Besides, in order to buy the bicycle I needed my current job, which made life expensive enough elsewhere.
I walk inside, and the first sounds I hear after I enter the kitchen from the garage is SpongeBob Squarepants's obnoxious, annoying laugh. Clearly my sister, Lucy thought it would be the perfect show to watch, as if there is enough reruns of the show every day of the week, and every week, in fact. "Lucy, can you please watch something else?" I moan.
Lucy either puts the show on pause or muted the sound, although I'm unsure what exactly happened because the television is out of my vision at the very moment. "Why can't you just accept that SpongeBob is hilarious already?" She yells back. "I'm watching one of my favourite episodes, you dork!" She turns the show back on, and I can only hear a 1980s Van Halen song playing now. It's the band episode. I can't even get close to winning against her in this situation.
Knowing I'll lose otherwise, I walk to my bedroom upstairs, the perfect room for watching the waves clash with each other. In the fight against Lucy for this room, I had luckily won based off of my parents' advice because I'm the older one. They thought I would deserve it more and treat it much better four years ago, and luckily, I believe that's the case. Lucy's Barbie collection pieces still coat all over her room.
I put my third generation iPod touch into its charger as a part of my music player, and I turn it on shuffle. A popular Coldplay song comes on, and I begin tuning out any television and ocean noise by yelling the lyrics in somewhat tune. It's one of my favourites at that, and I'm just pretty excited for the weekend to be here, which makes it even better, as the song describes happiness in my opinion.
And somehow, happiness means freedom.
Image
WILL FINISHWILL FINISH
Image
▓▓▓▓▓
WHAT YOU
┌────────────────┐
xxxstarlit queenxxx
hi! my name is star
and I really like sta
r wars and cats c:
the mcu, harry pot
ter and books are
pretty cool as well!
pm me if you want
to be friends! <3

└────────────────┘
Image
coding // somni
Image
User avatar
the force awakens.
 
Posts: 9251
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:10 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests