❝☇❞ A Beauty we Can't Afford ❝☇❞ Pᴏsᴛɪɴɢ Wᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ

[girl with wifi]

I place the needle into my neck and wait for the dizziness to kick in. I can do this dumb simulation practice myself. I don't need my dad to risk his life for it. I close my eyes.

↬

when I open my eyes, I am blinded by a bright sun. I feel the wind blowing my hair in my face making it harder to see. Where am I? I look down and notice I am standing on a beam with no rails. Below is what is left of the crumpled city I live in. I try to move but with every movement I make the beam shakes. Its rusted at the sides and is probably not going to hold me. "Calm your breathing and steady your heartbeat." My dad's words echo my mind as I decide whether or not I should jump. Jumping would show I'm Divergent. I remember my dad saying that he would have to walk across the beam and get to the other side.

I can do that. I use my hair tie and tie my hair back in to a messy side braid. I inhale and exhale. Once I'm ready I place my arms out like I'm a bird flying in the air but terrified of falling. I press my left foot forward and continue to keep my arms out. The beam shakes but not as much as before. I inhale and exhale and step forward again. I continue to do this until I reach a building. Once I'm there I enter and find myself trapped in a cold metal box.

Oh god what is this now? The box starts to close itself on me as if it wants to squish me in-between its walls of metal. How would I stop the box? I push my body against the box but it only makes it shrink more. I find two screws on the bottom. Now I could die in here or I could use the screws in some way to make it stop. I decide to go with the one that will let me live. The screws. I find and edge of on the walls and jam the screws between it.

Immediately the box resizes back to its normal size. My breathing slows and my heartbeat steadies more. I stand up and see a gun on the table. I pick it up knowing I have to. Its heavy showing me that its loaded. I swallow hard and wait for my prey to walk in so I can shoot. As expected a man and a woman walk in wearing normal clothing. They are holding hands and have pleased expressions on their faces. I squint my eyes making it easier for them to adjust to the light.

I drop the gun and my expression of ah is placed on my face. These are not just regular plain citizens of Chicago, they are my parents. The parents I love and trust the most. Tris and Tobias. "Its okay honey you can shoot." My mother says while holding on to my father.

"No." I say bitterly. I won't. I will not shoot my parents. I don't care if it is a simulation. I am not going to murder them.

"But you have to or they'll figure it out. Do it." My dad says in a deep voice. Almost as if its an order. With shaky hands I pick up the gun and shoot, but I look away so I wont see their bodies fall to the ground in a mess of red. This time I see a little girl. She looks to be the age of five or six. She picks her head up and watches as her father is beaten with a belt. Her eyes find mine and then I can tell its me.

I hear the girl shout a name but its muffled and sounds weird but then she shouts it again and this time I can understand who it is beating my father. Marcus. Immediately I walk up to Marcus and kick his throat. He makes a gagging sound and drops the belt. My dad runs and grabs me. Marcus makes a move to stand up but I stop him. "Move and i'll kill you."

Now I'm in a grey room with lots of windows. A boy my age stands in front of me. I squint my eyes again to see who it is. I flinch. Its Max. Why would Max be in one of my simulations? I hear a gunshot and then see him fall to his knees. Oh that's why. "Bex!" He shouts in a weak tone. I try to run to him but I can't. Someone or something is holding me back.

"LET GO OF ME!" I kick and scream at whatever is holding me back but its no use. Max falls to the floor and holds his chest while groaning in pain.

"Max!" I shout trying to get to him. The figure tightens their grip on me. Max let's go of his chest and I watch as his eyes roll behind his head. His body lays lifeless on the ground next to another puddle of red. The figure let's go of me and I run to him. Tears staining my cheeks.

↬

I awake to find someone's hands holding mine. Their skin cold but soothing. A face appears in front of me. Max. He backs up so I can sit up and catch my breath. "I'm not going back in there." I say breathless. He hands me a cup of water and helps detach the wires from my head.

"But you have to. Its the final test for getting into Dauntless, and an instructor has to administer your test." My head falls back against the warm wet chair. Was I sweating that bad? I must have been if the back of my shirt is soaked.

"Come on, let's go back to the dorms." Max helps me off the chair figuring I'm still dizzy from the serum. I keep my weight on him knowing I could fall at any moment if I chose to because of fear.

↬

When we enter the dorms people are either sitting on their beds panicking or they are running around like idiots. Well Kam's death either affected people or it didn't. Or just the fact that Jax is our new instructor probably affected them.

"Are you trying to get yourselves killed?" I sit cross legged on my bed as Abbi comes over to discipline me. Max is distracted by a group of boys as they pat his back saying it's brave how he saved a girl and how he's dating a girl during initiation.

"No, I'm just trying to do the opposite actually." I respond. Abbi rolls her eyes and walks off. It's not something to wonder why she asked me that. I snuck out in the middle of the night, almost killed a man, and went against the "faction before blood" motto.

"Wow, you're really a rebel now." The boy who cut my wrist says in a mocking tone. He's up to something and I can tell. Whatever it is, I don't want to be a part of it.

"Thanks stupid." I say as he walks off. I'm not sure if he hears me as he walks off.

"What did HE want?" Max says bitterly. I shrug. I honestly didn't know nor did I care what Jayden had to say after he made it clear on the train that we weren't going to be friends if any type. It was also sure that after he cut me Max didn't want to have anything to do with him.

"He just told me that now I was a rebel." He nods and sits down on his bed with his feet touching the floor.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about the chasm incident before it happened." I sigh. I did happen to go a little over board.

"It's fine I was just stressed about everything. And it's just you know terrifying being-" Max puts a finger on my lip. I can't tell if he's being sincere or just trying to keep my Divergence a secret.

"Hey it's fine. Everyone is a little on edge right now thanks to Kam's death." He says smiling.

"I just wonder why he jumped. Was it because of me? Did I say or do something wrong?" if I had dine something wrong, I wanted to know what it was so I could fix it, even though it wouldn't change what happened to Kam.

"You did nothing wrong. He was protecting you. Instead of showing the screens to Jax he got rid of them and then killed himself so Jax would ask him about it." Max assures.

"You're right. Let's just go to dinner and carry on with our normal lives." I say slipping my boots on my bare feet.

[girl with wifi]

I can't fall asleep. I can't. I would be very thankful if sleep welcomed me into their embrace but not tonight. It's as if sleep doesn't want me near it. I wouldn't blame it. I look over at Max who sleeps peacefully on his side. His face facing mine.

I close my eyes and turn sideways so i can see his face. I smile and burrow my head in my pillow.

↬

My while body jumps when I hear a terrifying scream. I look around the room, the lights are already on and Jax is standing in the entrance way of the dorm. "Get up and meet me in the pit in thirty minutes." I see Max prop himself up on his elbow and yawn. I do the same but instead of yawning I cuss.

I slip my phone under the covers and check the time. 3:45. Now why the hell would Jax be waking us up this early? Training isn't supposed to start till 6:30. I place the phone back under my pillow and turn it off. It would be a bad thing is Jax caught me with my phone. Kam would've been better but not Jax. He'd probably toss me into the pit. Saying that killing me in the start was probably better since Dauntless didn't need weak people like me. I shake the thought out of my head and stand up.

I slip a black v-neck and a tight pair of leather leggings. I find my combat boots and slip them on with a pair of socks. I quickly brush my hair and place my hair in a side braided bun.

↬

a tall woman stands next to a tray of knives. Each placed onto of silver cloth bags. Jax stands against a target that's taller than him. A few boys stifle a laugh but stop when Jax gives them his death glare. "Today you're going to be learning how to throw knives at a target." He says.

"Eris would you mind showing these initiates how to properly throw knives at a target?" The female who is now described as Eris picks up a knife after sharpening the blade.

"Now I'm going to stand in front of the target because I'm not afraid to get cut like half of you are." Eris twirls the knife in her hand and waits for Jax to stand still. She throws the first knife. It hits the wood surrounding the target by his left thigh.

"You can get closer than that." He says bitterly. Eris picks up another knife and aims it for his head. It doesn't miss instead it Knicks the top of his ear. He doesn't move or cry out in pain like I probably would.

"Even closer." He says in a mocking tone. She grins evilly and aims for his hand, it also doesn't miss. The blade goes right into his hand. Jax reaches over and pulls the knife out of his hand. He doesn't even whine. He looks like he's done this millions of times, which he probably has.

"That initiates is how you throw a knife at a target." Eris and Jax walk away so we can pick up the knives waiting for our presence of the tray.

I swallow hard and walk forward. I pick up four knifes. I sharpen their blades just as Eris had done. I look at the target in front of me and aim. It hits the head. I look over at Jax who doesn't seem impressed. I pick up another knife and throw it again. This time it hits the stomach part of the target.

Jax still doesn't look impressed. I look over at Max who seems to be struggling with his throwing. Crap. "Here, close one eye while your aiming so all you see is the target in front of you." I say handing him a knife. He nods and does as told him, but he still misses. I look over at Jax. He was watching me the whole time I tried to help Max.

"That was horribly pathetic." Jax says walking up to Max. I don't look over, I just continue to throw knives at my target which I haven't missed.

"I aimed wrong." Max says reaching for another knife. Jax's hand stops him. Immediately a fire of hate rushes through me.

"Well then, go get it and try again." He says in a mocking tone. The color leaves Max's face and is replaced with fear.

"While they are still throwing?" He immediately asks. Jax nods. Max makes a move to but then stops still holding the knife in his hand.

"No." He says coldly.

"No? Everybody stop!" Eris shouts. And they do. I still keep my knife in my hand in case Jax has any plans.

"Go stand in front of that target." Jax says with his hands across his chest. Without protesting Max does. My breaths turn into pants I grip the knife even tighter.

"Now your gonna stand still while I throw knives at you. If you flinch, you're out." He walks over to the tray and picks up four knives. He sharpens the blade then twists the knife with his finger.

"Stop! Anyone can stand in front of a target and it doesn't prove anything." I say bitterly. Jax laughs.

"Well then perhaps it would be easy for you to take his place." I am not going to let Jax kill Max. I know what he is capable of doing.

"Fine." I walk over to the target and press myself against it. Immediately I can feel my heart pound in my chest. I watch as Jax picks up his knives but instead of aiming them himself, he hands them to Max.

"Same goes for you. You move, you're out." Max's hands tremble as he holds the knife. "He's not the best at throwing knives he's not going to hit me" I say over and over in my head.

He closes one eye and aims. It hits the would beside my right ear. I swallow hard. "Closer." Jax says staring hard at me. He's trying to break me and I can tell. Max swallows and then throws. It hits an inch above my head. How did he get so good at aiming so fast?

"Cut her." Jax bitterly orders. He closes his eyes then opens one and throws. I feel a tight pain in my left ear. I see the knife. It landed right beside my head above my left ear and cut it. My mouth opens and I place my hand to my ear. Blood covers my fingers when I remove it.

"Good job. Now watch yourself. We train fighters, not rebels. Everyone dismissed." Jax and everyone else leave the room leaving me alone with Max.

"How did you get so good?" I ask as I walk away from the target.

"I did what you told me and Jax's pressure was getting to me. It made me angry and gave me strength to actually hit the target." I take a cotton ball and place it to my ear.

"You cut me." I say coldly.

"I meant to." He responds picking up the knives he droped.

"You meant to Max?" I ask still holding the cotton to my ear.

"I had to, he wouldn't let you off without a scratch and we both know it." He hands me a few more cotton balls and place the knives on the tray.

"Let's go to breakfast." He says walking towards me.

↬

"We should get tattoos." Abbi says during breakfast. This was a normal thing the dauntless did. Damage their skin by putting ink and jewelry in it.

"What?" Max says dropping his fork on his plate.

"You know, a tattoo. The thing you get on your skin that's permeant and is ink." Max rolls his eyes.

"Yes, yes I know what tattoos are." He responds.

"Let's go get some." Abbi says excitedly.

"Okay." I respond. Maybe getting a tattoo could prove I'm really Dauntless material. Max raises his eyebrows like I'm insane.

↬

The Dauntless tattoo parlor smells of ink and sweat. Like the Dauntless born come here after a long work out. A row of glass hangs on a shelf with different designs. I'm guessing designs for a tattoo. "I want this one." Abbi says holding a long piece of glass with the words "fear is dumb" with a knife under it. I'm guessing she had a fear of knives.

"We should get this one." Max says pointing to two pieces of glass that each had the Dauntless symbol but each said different things.

"Okay. I call dibs on the one that says 'be brave'." I say taking the other piece of glass in my hands.

"Guess that leaves me with the one that says 'Dauntless the brave'." I look around for an artist and see a woman cleaning the needles she probably used for tattoos.

"Can I help you?" She asks eyeing Max and I in the doorway.

"We want this one." I say holding up the pieces of glass.

"Where do you want it?" I hadn't thought about that.

"on my collar bone. The right side." She takes the piece of glass of my hands and looks at Max.

"Collar bone, left side." She takes his and tells us to sit in the lounge chairs where a tray stood beside them.

"I'll do yours but someone else will have to his." She says pointing to me. That was fine as long as we got them at the same time. I nod and lay my head down so she can see the collar bone better.

[girl with wifi]

Jax takes the needle and places it in my neck. I bite my lip to keep from cussing at the pain but then I see Max and the pain goes away. Instead of feeling dizzy like I normally would when given simulation serum I feel normal like I wasn't just injected with sometime of fluid. "Now this is just some experiment the Dauntless are trying with a new serum, it lasts for twenty-four hours." Jax walks off with an evil grin on his face. Something about that grin tells me this is not ordinary Dauntless serum. It tells me that it could be from the Erudite.

"That was weird." Max says walking over to me as Eris dabs his neck with a needle. I nod and brush my hair back with my hand.

"Think he's up to something?" He asks watching Jax as he continues to walk away, the empty vial he poured in the syringe in his hand.

"Deffinatly." Jax has shown many signs that he is up to something and I don't think I have enough time to tick them all off my fingers.

"Do you know what?" He asks dabbing a cotton ball onto my neck which is strange considering the other needles I used didn't leave a mark and make me bleed like this one.

"Something with Erudite." I respond keeping still.

"I think we should talk to your parents." He says with a sad look of worry on his face. No. I don't want to get them caught up in all this. If I do then what happens when something bad goes wrong?

"Max no. I don't want to get them into all this like you already have." I say bitterly. I want him to know I'm not trying to be mean i'm trying to be protective.

"Your not getting them caught up into anything, they're trying to protect you. I'm trying to protect you!" He's shouting now while he still hold the cotton ball.

"I said no! I think we should just go to Erudite and have a little talk with my uncle [A.K.A the traitor]." He rolls his eyes.

"Bex, we are telling your parents. You know why? Because they can help. They've gone through things like this before so they have knowledge that can help us." I sigh.

"Fine. I'll tell my dad to come here tonight." He throws the cotton ball and reaches for my hand.

"Bex, your not doing anything wrong and I want you to know that okay?" I look at him and I can see he's being serious.

"Okay." I respond.

↬

the rest of the morning was hecktic and insane on so many levels. we either spent our time dealing with mood changes or sickness due to the serum. I was the only one who had no reaction to the serum. "Is there something wrong with me?" I ask Max as he sits on his bed and wraps his arms around my torso.

"Its your Divergence. They can't fit you into a category which means they can't control you. Meaning you can chose to fight simulation serums like this one. For me since I'm not Divergent I can't." he responds. I smile but stop when I see jax walk in the dorm with a curious face. His eyes find mine. Crap.

"What's wrong?" Max asks when he sees me starring hard at nothing. I bring myself back into reality. Was I imagining Jax there? Or was he actually standing there but just left before Max could see him?

"Nothing. Just thought I saw someone."

"Okay." He kisses my neck where Jax put the needle in. It feels sore when he touches it which also wasn't normal from the other simulation needles. They usually hurt but for five seconds then stopped.

"I love you." I whisper softly so only he can hear it. He chuckles softly and smiles.

"I love you too." He says. I kiss him and he tastes of sea salt once again. I jump when I hear my phone go off. Cussing leaves my mouth as I take it out to realize its from my dad.

"Max, I need to go." I say standing up.

"Let me come with you." he says standing up to stretch.

"No, I need to go alone." I inform. He ignores.

"Let me come with you. Bex who knows you could need someone to hold you after the conversation." I roll my eyes and place my silent [not so silent] ringing phone in my pocket.

"No. I don't want somebody to follow me." I grab my jacket and walk out without Max.

"You need to be protected!" he shouts from the dorm.

"Not really!" I shout back. Being Divergent makes me stronger and probably smarter than he is.

"So help me god I will go out there and shoot you!" He shouts in a cold tone. I'm guessing this was one his mood swings that the serum was causing. I want to kill Jax for this.

↬

"Dad?" I say into the speaker. I'm breathless due to running far deep into the Compound. I wanted to go where Max wouldn't find me. I needed to be alone to hear what my dad had to say if he called me before I called him.

"Becca? Listen to me! You and Max need to get out of there. The Erudite are working with Dauntless again." I'm not shocked what he says. I was thinking the same thing when Jax walked away after inserting me with the "new serum".

"How?" I ask even though I already know.

"Serum. Caleb created another serum to control the Dauntless. You need to get a certain serum for Max to make him come out of the one Jax gave him. You'll have to come here to get it, unless you want me to go there." I feel a tight pain in my neck and clench my hands into fists to keep from crying out.

"Meet me at the train platform. It will be safer." I say unclenching my hands.

"You have to get this serum to Max before the Erudite serum takes full affect on him and he wont want to snap out of it. He may never be the same if you don't hurry."

"Wait dad, I thought this stuff was supposed to last for a day and then end." The line is silent for a few minutes but then my dad's voice fills the speaker.

"Its not. Jax was lying. He didn't want you to know." So if I don't head down to the platform now my boyfriend may turn into a killing monster thanks to Jax and the Erudite? That just makes me want to kill them even more.

"I'm leaving now." I say grabbing a knife and placing it in my pocket.

"What?" My dad asks as if I'm insane.

"I'm leaving. Meet me at the platform and don't forget that serum dad."

"I'm already here and its in my hand waiting for you." I laugh.

"I love you dad." I wait for him to respond and then hang up the phone. I look around and wait to see if any Dauntless soldiers jump out in front of me and then take off in the direction of the train.

↬

I find my dad standing with the serum on the platform. He hands me a navy blue box with a lock on the side, then he hands me a small key. Trying not to cause attention to myself by the factionless, I open it quickly. Two vials are in my sigh. "What's in them?" I ask staring at the one with black liquid.

"That one is peace serum and the other is death." Death serum? Why would he bring me-oh nevermind I know why. He thinks if Max got to crazy I would have gotten the nerve to just kill him. Never in my rightful mind would I kill him.

"Why do you honestly think I would want to kill Max?" I ask closing the box and placing the key in my pocket. My father swallows and shifts his weight to the right. He's struggling on giving me an honest answer and I want to know why.

"Thought maybe you had even of his mood swings from the serum. Do you want me to take it back?" He offers reaching for the box my hands still hold.

I pull my hands back. "No, I can use it on Jax." I respond. He clams up his lips and nods.

"Alright then, i'll go so you can get back to Max on time." He hops off the platform and runs leaving me alone in the train with the box of life and death and the burden of my thoughts on my shoulders.

[girl with wifi]

I find Max sitting at the edge of his cot holding a deck of cards in his hands. Oh god what has he been doing since I was gone? Abbi stomps up to me and gets in my face. Anger is all I see in her eyes. Mood swings. "Oh my god, get that thing in him so he shuts up!" She snaps and walks off. Answers my question.

"Hey I'm back." I say sitting on my bed with the box placed on my lap. Max turns to my direction and gives me the look of shock.

"Who the freak are you?" But he did not say freak he said something else. I was shocked. I had never heard Max cuss at all. It was a rule not to cuss when you were with Max at his house. If you did, his father would take a rag full of vinegar and soapy water and place it into your mouth until you told him why you had said that word.

"Give me your arm-" But I stop when I remember my dad telling me it had to be injected into the neck but I don't remember why. I take the key and open the box grabbing the vial of pink liquid. I find a syringe in the box as well. To me it looks more like a staple gun than a tool doctors used to place medicine and serums in you.

Without questioning he moves his arm over to the side where I can reach but I push it away. I place the empty vial in the box and place the syringe in the side of his neck. He finches and groans but then stops once I take it out. "You're really pretty." he says looking into my eyes. Then I remember that peace serum makes you happy and peaceful. Whatever its better than constant mood swings.

I place the syringe back in the box and place it under my cot where it won't be seen. "You should get some sleep and where this serum off." I say walking away. I see Abbi enter the room again, this time she looks relived.

"Did you give it to him?" I nod. She sighs a breath of relief.

"Good, I thought we would have to deal the mood swings all day." I wonder why she isn't bashing on me right now like she would be on the serum.

"I know what you're going to ask. And the answer is I'm Divergent. That's why I'm awake." Suddenly my eyes go wide. Abbi as a Divergent? I couldn't see it.

"You're kidding?" I say in a fake susceptive tone.

"No. And I know you're Divergent too." She says whispering the last part into my ear so no-one will know.

I feel my throat clamp up and my palms begin to sweat. "Pssssh, no." I say looking around. For me it honestly was hard to lie since I looked to the left every time. That's why I had Max do it for me.

"You are Bex. Trust me, that's why you're always gone and why you 're awake at this very minute." Fine she broke me.

"Fine, I am Divergent but you cant tell anyone." I say in low whisper.

"I swear on it." She says stomping her foot and giving me an honest look.

↬

"Are you still moody?" Alarmed Max sits up and turns to face me with his feet touching the floor. Mine barely touch. They hang just above the floor. Its always been this way. Max has always been taller than me but to me it was much easier to kiss him.

"Nope, I'm back to normal." He responds. His voice doesn't sound as high pitched as it was when he was on the Peace Serum. Now it sounds deep like the way it always was.

"Good so what are you doing?" I ask sit cross legged on my bed. My eyes dart to the stack of playing cards in his hand. A king and ace are on top.

"Oh its a card game called Jin. [A.N. If you know what this is or how to play it you are amazing c:] Abbi taught me how to play it while you were out. Apparently its a new game the Dauntless have started playing in the dorms." He says smiling.

"Cool." I say taking my leather jacket off. It smelt of fire smoke, and the way a doctor's office smelt when you first walked in. It burnt my nostrils. It had also gotten hot in the dorm since I've gotten back.

"You wanna play? I'm sure I could teach you." I nod and with the slightest movement he shuffles the cards and then deals them.

↬

Max holds my hand as we walk to lunch. Our footsteps match in unison. I feel like nothing could bring me down and destroy as I walk with him. He's always made me feel better after something bad happens to me. Immediately I see a tattooed head in the crowd in front of us. That immeditaly gets my attention. crap.

Once Jax's head pops up to where I can see its actually him, I freeze. My heart beat echoes in my ears and feel like I'm walking faster. I walk a step behind Max hoping he won't notice me. "What's wrong?" Max asks suddenly, placing his hand on mine to get my attention.

I jump. His touch is cold to my warm hands which are usually cold. "Nothing." I lie. He places his hand back in mine and we continue to walk with the assumptions on why Jax was looking at me in my eyes.

[girl with wifi]

"Ah if it isn't the Dauntless rebel, Bex." Jax says as Max and I enter the dining hall. I ignore him and continue to walk but Jax's hand stops me. Max's eyes find mine and he immediately goes into kill mode.

"Oh no. You're not going anywhere." He scoffs. This makes Max even angrier.

"Yes we will be." Max punches Jax in the nose and picks me up bridle style and runs. I watch as Jax stands up and places a hand to his nose. Blood drips down from his left nostril slowly. Its a strange color. Crimson.

"Don't let them escape!" Jax shouts while holding his nose. Surprisingly I thought he'd be able to take the blow since he could take getting a knife thrown into his hand. Several guards circle us. They hold their guns firm and tight. Their barrels aimed at us. Max sets me down on my feet and rolls up the sleeves of his jacket. Its only then when I see his hood I realize he isn't wearing black.

"Funny that you thought I'd let you escape. I wonder why a Dauntless member would want to leave so soon. I get that this serum makes you have side effects but this isn't one of them." Jax says standing in front of us. I see that his hands are covered in red and so is his nose.

"But there is only one thing we can do with you two." Now he steps back behind the guards. He whispers something to the one in front of him and nods.

"When I tell you to run, run." I whisper into Max's ear. He nods.

"Fire!" Jax shouts and immediately the guards start to fire. Max takes a knife from his pocket and aims it at the guard's hand making him drop the gun. Dodging the bullets aimed at me I grab the gun and Max's hand and run.

↬

I sprint as fast as my legs will carry me. The weight of the gun my hands now hold for protection weighs me down. "Don't let them escape!" I hear Jax shout but its muffled by the sound of gun shots aimed at Max and I. I look back in front of me and see Max is far ahead. Damn was he fast. I admired his passion for running when I myself didn't much care for it even though I've found myself doing it a lot lately.

"Get to the dorm and under the bed!" I shout to Max. If he wants us die, then one can stay behind. Max nods and runs faster keeping his grip tight on the knife he holds as a weapon. I slow my speed down and aim the gun at Jax and whoever else is behind me and against my side of rights.

I hear a gunshot go off and feel a warm liquid trickle down my arm. Blood. I've been shot. Biting my bottom lip and aim at Jax again and this time I don't miss. It hits him in the chest making him fall over in cries of pain. The guards who were running after me now surround him on the ground.

I let my legs carry me again but faster after dropping the gun. I feel a tight pain in my shoulder and ignore it only thinking about Max to get me farther.

↬

"Max!" I shout once I get inside the dorms. I look around and see Abbi by his bed with a crunched up paper clenched in her hands. Her face is pale and her knuckles are bloody and bruised. I let myself collapse on my bed knowing he probably just went somewhere else figuring I wasn't coming back.

"Abbi what's wrong?" I ask once she starts to grip the paper tighter.

"Max. He left and told me not to let you see this." Immediately my curiosity comes back for a visit after I haven't seen it for a day.

"Abbi where did he go?" I ask standing up. She drops the paper and points to the door.

"He left. For good." For good? Does that mean he just walked out of Dauntless and became factionless? He wouldn't do that. He said he'd stick with me in Dauntless to protect me [not like I needed it] but he said he would.

"I'm going to find him." I say reaching under my bed for the syringe with death serum and a knife. I'd pick up a gun in the weapons lab on my way out. I'm surprised she doesn't stop me and tell me it no use that's he's probably already gone but she doesn't so I muster my strength and run out of the dorm.

↬

I feel a cold hand on my shoulder and jump. When I turn around a hand is placed on my mouth, making it hard to breath. I find the hand with my eyes and bite it so the person let's go. They do and cry out in pain as if I hand just shot them in the most painful place as possible. I find the person who hold me and kick them in the gut. They to let go and cry out in pain on the ground. I take my gun and shoot both of them. "You're a bunch of cowards." I say with gritted teeth.

I place my gun back over my shoulder and walk off. I notice I start to limp as I walk which is strange since I wasn't shot in the leg but only my shoulder. I bite my lip every time I pull a muscle in my shoulder that would affect the wound. I hear footsteps behind me and stop. I turn around keeping a tight hand on the gun in my pocket.

When I see nothing I turn back around and continue to walk but when I hear footsteps again I turn back around and shoot the gun so it alarms the person/thing I know it's there. "Come on! Fight me!" I shout shooting again. I feel a chill spread through my body causing it to go numb. Immediately the lights flicker on and off and then they stop. Then I am left alone in the darkness with sweating dripping on my forehead making it hard to grip my gun with my hands.

"Sure we'll come out!" A voice says I loose it. I shoot again not even aiming. The last thing I feel is a hand pressing up against my stomach and then one on my mouth, again not being able to breathe.

[girl with wifi]

A bright light is all I see. Then I see faces but they are a blur. I can hear voices but they are muffled by the ringing in my ears. "Welcome Bex, we've been waiting for you." A male with a deep voice says. I can't make out who it is. I blink once and then twice and I can see again.

"What?" I say confused. The male steps forward, closer to me so I can see him well. There is only one figure to have that face I know so well. My father.

"Welcome Bex!" A male with a voice not deep as my father's says. Again I have to blink my eyes. All I can see is a neon green hood.

"Huh? Where am I?" I ask starring into the male's coffee brown eyes.

"Somewhere." Then the figure that had first introduced me makes the other sit down.

"Be quiet Max and don't speak till I say." The second figure defined as, Max. My eyes go wide. Max. My Max. My Max is here in this room with my father and I have no idea what's going on.

"I get that you got her for us so we thank you for that but please don't speak until we say." My father says in a calm voice but his face gives it away that he wants to tear him up and toss him.

This time its a female that speaks. My mother. "Yes Tobias but he did with violence." Immediately my head turns. No wonder my entire body was sore. He kidnapped me. Immediately my hands go to my pockets. My gun. Its gone. Its not even in my pockets, same with my knife. That too is also gone.

Again keeping a straight face my father says, "Right well. I'll give you two some time to talk. Come on Tris we should load of the trucks."I watch as my mother walks over and places her hand in Max's face.

"Try not to hurt our daughter while we're gone." And with that she walks off with her hand entwined with my dad's and a gun in the other. Not just any gun. My gun. The gun I got from the weapons lab in the compound.

Once there gone my anger sets in. This time I don't try to hide it like I normally would do in Dauntless. "Is that true?" I ask standing up.

"Is it true that you violently kidnapped me and brought me here?" He doesn't answer he just keeps his shaking hands in his hoody. He looks at me his eyes glassy looking and lip trembles a little.

"I'm sorry." He says softly. So soft I can hardly hear it.

"What?" I ask. I can feel my blood boiling in my skin.

"Yes! Yes I did Bex!" He shouts with tears streaming down his face. It pains me whenever I see him cry. But it hurts me more that I'm the reason he's crying.

"Why am I here? Where am I exactly?" I ask in calmer voice.

"A secret room under the compound. And you're here because we are fighting against the city."He wipes his face with his sleeve and motions for me to sit down so I do.

"Why did you leave me back there?" He looks down and sighs.

"Your mother knocked me out and brought me here told me I had to do the same with you." I pinch my eyebrows together.

"Then what was with the note Abbi said you gave to her?" He raises an eyebrow like he doesn't have a clue what I am talking about. Smart enough I brought it with me. I reach into my back pocket and hand it to him. He skims through it slowly making sure he gets the spelling errors.

"It's Jayden." He says handing it back to me.

"I didn't write that. It's not my hand writing. Bex look." He hands me the letter which I didn't even look at in the dorm. Now I can tell. The words are scribbled and hard to read. There's to many errors that it's to hard to read it. Max's hand writing is easy to read and it nice unlike the scribbles in front of me.

"I'm sorry." he says placing his lips to mine.

"I am too." I say finding his hand that now holds the letter.

"I promise to never do that again." He says kissing me again.

"I promise as well." I say curling the edge of his hoody in my hands.

↬

"Did you two make things right?" My mother asks as we walk over to the trucks that are being loaded. I nod. I look over at my dad who stands beside her with his knife hanging halfway out of his pocket.

"Now I guess we can tell you our plan." Max looks at me as if the word 'plan' doesn't seem right. What plan? Was this all a plan? Was kidnapping me a plan?

"What plan?" My voice comes out small and shaky as if I had said something I shouldn't have.

"Escaping the city, taking down Erudite. That plan!" My father says with excitement in his eyes. I'm not sure if I should believe it as sarcasm or actual joy.

"You and Max are going back to Dauntless. And during the night where going to sneak you out. Someway we will get into Erudite and attack Caleb but we must be cautious and smart since he is an Erudite on a serum." I'm handed a gun and a kiss on my cheek.

"You must carry on the day like its normal and that you suspect nothing." And with that my parents board the trucks they were packing.

"Do you think Jax will suspect anything with our absence of eight hours?" Max asks placing a knife in his right hand.

"Probably, which is why we best play dumb when we get back." I respond. I place a few more knives in my pockets just in case we're attacked on the way back.

"And what do we do if he breaks us?" I drop the bullets I was loading into my gun.

"He's not. And if he does, we shoot him." I say angrily.

↬

I look at the scenery as we make our way back to the compound. Turns out we weren't under the compound for Dauntless, we were under Erudite. We found that out when we had to borrow clothes from an innocent man and woman to escape. I didn't at all regret it since they took a gun and tried to shoot us like most of the people in this city have. I'm pretty much used to it unlike Max.

Who freaks out and aims his knife at whatever enemy is lurking. So you could say we used all of our knives for nothing or you could say that we didn't use them at all even though the stained blood made that hard to believe. So far we hadn't encountered anyone from Dauntless that could've possibly been sent out to spot us and kill us. That's what I feared of for when we got there.

I hear the sound the train makes when its close. the rattling of the loose metal on the back and the horn the conductor used to signal. I place the knives [but one] back into my pockets and wait for Max to catch up.

[girl with wifi]

the compound is cold and humid when we enter. at first it looks like its been disserted but then you can hear the screaming and chanting coming from the dining hall. I keep the grip on my gun tight at all times knowing just one stupid mistake could blow our cover of sneaking back in.

I'm surprised there wasn't a group of guards waiting for us when we got back in the compound. I keep my gun held in a tight hand and a knife in the other. I look behind me at all times and make sure I'm still with Max. We don't need to get separated again. I see a dim, soft light on the concrete floor inside the dining hall. Dinner is still going on this is a perfect time to make it back to the dorms and get ourselves in a casual position as if we haven't been missing for some amount of time.

I hear the sound of a fork drop the concrete. It sounds hard and metal. I think it bent the fork. I jump and run to the training room quickly.I don't want to be caught sneaking back in. It gets harder to run with the knives and bullets in my pockets which are weighing me down. I look around noticing the stained blood on the training room floor. At first it alarms me but then I remember shooting Jax.

I haven't seen a single sight of him since we've entered which must mean he's in the hospital and probably wants to kill the living daylights out of me. I look away from the blood and keep walking with Max at my side who occasionally looks over at me to make sure I'm okay then looks behind him to make sure weren't being followed.

Finally I see the dorms with of course, the lights on. I ignore the anger in my head after telling Abby she needed to turn the lights off since that's what Jax wanted and of course nobody wanted to disappoint him. Keeping a tight grip on my gun I kick the door open with my foot. It creaks then stops before it can hit the brick wall where it already has caused a dent to form.

Cautiously I enter. I look around and see unmade beds and clothes everywhere. Some electronics are out on beds. Which surprises me due to the fact Jax banned any electronics along with having any connection with our families. I didn't listen and I had a reason to that only Max knows about.

Figuring no one is inside I lower my gun and loosen my grip. I hand Max the knife that was in my other hand and walk over to my unmade bed. Mine is the only one without electronics and clothes laying all over it. I place my gun under my mattress and my knives in the small black box my dad gave me with the peace and death serum for Max. The death serum was the other weapon we had against Jax. I would use it.

I slip my jacket off and sit down on my bed. I feel like I'm in my own world when it's just Max and I alone in the same room but keeping our distance. No instructors or initiates to bother us. Pretty sure Jax is going to bother us later though. "I shot him." I say trying my best to break the large amount of silence that has grown between us since we left Erudite.

"Who?" Max says coming at attention as he sets his knives down.

"Jax. I shot him once you were out of sight. Then I ran back to the dorm where after that I was kidnapped by you." I hate it how when one conversation can lead to the start of one topic maybe you know you both just don't feel like discussing. He sets the knives in the box and hands it back to me. He sits on his bed facing me.

"I'm sorry I did that." He says thinking I brought up Jax to lead to this topic which I didn't. I wanted to tell what I did when he wasn't there to see it.

"Its fine. I already told you in Erudite that it was fine." I hug my knees to my chest keeping the thought that we have to act like nothing is up for the rest the night leading to when its lights out. I have no idea how that is going to work. I don't do well with these situations. I usually come to breaking point where its too obvious what my plan is.

"What are we going to do?" I ask watching as he shuffles his small deck of cards. Its small because the red hearts and diamonds are the ones missing. Yet he still claims its easy to play Jin with them, but really I don't think it is.

"About what?" He asks throwing a card in my direction. I don't catch it in midair I let it fall to the ground where it rests against my shoe.

"You know, acting like we know nothing tonight?" He drops the deck and stretches so his feet touch the floor. I'm surprised he doesn't pull them back since the concrete makes it cold like ice.

"Acting like the normal Bex and Max that's what we do." He responds using his foot to pick up the fallen card.

"But the normal Bex and Max would know what's going on and blow the whole thing getting one or both of them killed." I respond. Come to think of it weren't going to survive tonight. Just watch. Jax will ask some question or say something and our cover will be blown thanks to me.

He stands up and plants a kiss on my forehead. Its light and soft but it has meaning. "Not the ones I know. They would keep they're cover hidden have a plan on what to say when possible things are asked. They think fast. They're not the ones that make the mistakes." I smile. he's right. They would do that because that's who we try to be. That's who I try to be everyday. Someone who does their best on not screwing their life up more than it is thanks to the factions. If I did mess things up more than I would be killed or factionless but if it was in the words of Jax, I would probably be killed.

He see's the troubled look on my face and says, "Just try not to think about it. Trust me it will naturally come to you when it happens. Now come over here so we can play Jin." He pats the spot across from him on his bed where a stack of ten cards lay facing down. I hop of my bed and cross my legs as I sit on his. He picks up his cards and I pick up mine. Fitting the ones together that go. The threes with the threes, and the nine and ten spade with my eight.

He places the remaining cards in the deck facing down on his bed in the middle and takes the top card and faces it up. A clover Queen. I look at my deck. Not one I need. It would certainly cost me points if I took it ad never used it. Face cards normally did count as ten points. I frown at the card and take the next top one. I take it in my hand and look at it. A spade seven. I could use it with my eight, nine, and ten. I give the clover Jack I wasn't planning on using.

Max looks like I just gave him a second ticket to living again. He takes the Jack and places a three clover. I look at it. I have a four clover. Could I use it with that and get a five or a two? Yes I could and I will. I take the three and place down a king clover. I try to eliminate all face cards I haven't used as quick as possible. Max takes the king with a smirk and lays a six spade down which I take. I can try for a five next. "You better stop helping me or your gonna loose." I say pointing to his small deck of cards he holds in his hand.

"Same to you." He says taking the card I set down. I look down at my deck. I have only one ace and two face cards left.

"You know me, I like to eliminate all the face cards before anything." He laughs.

"And you know how I like to start with the face cards." To him since he had played the game longer than I had, he knew ways of getting a face card to work without the same type. I didn't know how but I wanted to or else I wouldn't be throwing them away first try. He continues to hold his cards while giving me a smirky smile. He's got something up his sleeve and that smile tells me its a trick.

"Tsk, tsk." I say kissing him.

[girl with wifi]

I watch her as she lays on my chest with her eyes closed. I've never noticed how peaceful Bex looks whenever she sleeps. I should be sleeping as well, but I can't seem to find the way to lead me into it. Its dark in the dorms and there's no sign of life at all except for me: blinking my eyes when needed and Bex breathing on my chest.

I keep hoping that Jax will somehow forget Bex shot him even though it will leave a mark. I swear I will kill him if he tries to go anywhere near her. I need to go to sleep but I can't find the energy to do so. I have so many thoughts in my head that are making it hard. I look at Bex again. She's changed her postion so now her chin is on my rib. Her hand is entwined with mine that is hanging out the bed.

I look over and see Abbi roll over in her bed. The tarp blanket barely covers her. Only her left side is covered. I look at my own blanket and see that it is tossed onto the floor in a large crumpled ball. I feel something vibrate under me so I dig my hand under my pillow to retrieve Bex's phone.

The screen glows a bright shade of white and her father's contact appears on the screen. He's calling her and I have no idea what to do. I don't want to wake her up from her slumber when she's probably happier than she is outside of her sleep. I decide to let it go to voice mail and wait for him to send her a message instead.

When it doesn't it feels like something is wrong and that I disrespected her because I didn't answer her phone while she slept. I place it back under my pillow and lay my down. I'm playing the thoughts and questions Jax asked us over and over in my head but it doesn't tire me like it normally would. Thinking about questions and thoughts tends to send my mind into sleep which is what I wanted but apparently that's not what it wanted.

I bend over a little and kiss Bex's forehead, then I lay my head back down on the pillow and close my eyes.

↬

I'm awakened by someone shaking me violently. Their touch cold and stiff, nothing soft about it at all. I blink my eyes once and see that Bex is standing next to my bed and she has a look of worry and anger on her voice. "Bex what's going on? Is everything okay?" She clams her lips together and sighs heavily. Something is wrong and I can tell by the way her sigh sounds.

"Just get up." She says in a whisper. Its a quiet one that only I can hear. It's time. her parents have come to get us out so we can take down Erudite. I won't get up. Not until I undertstand why the lights are on and everyone is up.

"Not until you tell me what's going on." I say quietly but it sounds fierce and not quiet and desperate like I wanted it to. She groans and rubs her temples. I see her phone vibrating in her pant pocket.

"My parents are here and they are waiting for us in the training room, so come on. Try not to be noticed." She says slipping her foot into her boot. It doesn't quite go in all the way so she stomps her foot on the ground making it go in. I slip on my boots and my leather jacket. I've been sleeping in my Dauntless clothes since our problems with Jax happened. I feel it gives me a better way to escape in the middle of the night if I need to.

Bex reaches under her mattress and takes out the small black box her father gave her. She hands me four knives and keeps the rest for herself. She takes her gun and hands me one with the needed bullets. I don't take my time loading it. But its not as easy with my hands shaking. "Ready?" She asks once her gun is loaded and hidden in her jacket. I nod.

We don't even take the time to make our beds and put something under it to make it look like we are still there.

↬

[girl with wifi]

I'm cautious as I dash through the compound. Making sure not to make a sound or else the alarms will sound. Their shouldn't be if I were to trigger one since it was my parents jobs to shut them down. I can feel the spare knives in my pocket, the vial of death serum in the other. It would be a stupid move to drop it and inhale it when I'm in the same room with Jax as it kills him slowly. Do I want to die too? "Bex, where exactly did they tell you to met them?" Max asks keeping his gun low but both of his index fingers on the triggers.

"The pit." I respond quietly. Jax could be roaming the hallways just waiting for a good chance to strike me down.

↬

"Bex!" My mother says when we see her and my dad loading their guns. A few of the dauntless lay dead or unconscious on the ground. The sight of blood makes me gag. Max drops his gun and reaches for me just as im about to fall. I'm glad they were able to get into dauntless without getting killed. But why else wouldn't they? They are the ones who became known as the hero's of Chicago in their days. Now I'm guessing they're the bad guys trying to get rid off the factions and protect everyone they love. Its a good priority and one day it will be mine.

a few bullets lay on the ground and roll up against my dad's shoe as he loads in a fresh set of bullets. I'm guessing to kill Jax, unless that's my priority. is it? I am the one after all who shot him in the leg in a chase, sent him to the hospital twice. He knows I don't like him and I know he isn't fond of me because I'm the daughter of an Eaton.

"what now?" Max asks. I'm glad he asked it because I was about to ask the same thing myself only in a much different word choice. My mother sharpens a few of her knives and then looks at my father who aims his gun a wall and shoots to see if he placed the bullets in right. He did if you were wondering.

"Now, we go to Erudite and demand to Caleb that this stops right now. Show him that box if we even have to." My mother wraps her arms around his arm and stands on her tip toes looking into his eyes. She looks afraid. She doesn't even look like the mother I know just another woman claiming to be.

"But Tobias, I'll have to go through those simulations again." She pleads. My drops his gun and places his hands on her shoulders. Max and I just watch.

"I don't think I can go through with having to see my mother in another simulation." What is this box they are talking about? What are these simulation too? I stand up and walk over to where they stand. Giving them a few inches of space so my dad can still see the fear of lose in my mother's eyes.

"What is this box you keep talking about?" I ask. My dad let's go of my mom and inhales then exhales slowly. Whatever it is he must not want to talk about it.

"The box Becca, is a special box the people outside the fence created with a special message inside. The thing is only divergents can open the box. Only one divergent can open it. That divergent is your mother. She pure divergent. Anyways in order to open the box you must go through the simulations of all five factions: dauntless, amity, erudite, candor, and abnegation. So many people because of Jeanine died trying to open that box." Max stands up and entwines his fingers with mine. But the thing is I thought that box was destroyed.

"But dad wasn't that box destroyed?" I ask.

"Not really no. All erudite did was bury it so Jeanine could still be in power and no one would remember what the message said. Your mother and I do." But where is it buried? If an erudite buried it, then it must be somewhere in erudite.

"Caleb was also there, so he too heard the message." My mom says. Then why would he want to bring the faction system back to life when everything was perfectly fine? That is unless he's being controlled by someone through a transmitter like the uprising that took place years ago.

"The question still remains: is it dangerous?" Max asks.

"No. It was the reason we lived without the factions after it was opened and Jeanine was killed." So then its not a weapon erudite can use against us. That's good.

"Who's there?" someone shouts in the distant hallway not to far away. Max and I pick up our guns.

"We need to move." My dad says with his instructor four mask on. He grabs his gun and runs in the direction the voice didn't come from.

↬

the gun is heavy from the weight of the new bullets my dad loaded in but its a lot easier to fire now that its loaded. here we are: running away from dauntless to erudite on a mission to fix whatever little society we have left, that is unless Caleb destroyed it all. it still doesn't make sense to me that even though he was there to hear the message about divergents being good he still brought back the faction system in the power of erudite.

"Okay your mother and I will go up top to find Caleb. You and Max, find that box." I nod. Although I have no idea where to start my search for a box I barely no about.