Write a Letter you Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[RedWingBranch]

Dear S,

You have always been an awful person, haven't you? You make my blood boil. You are ruthless and heartless. Just because you have big chocolaty eyes - people excuse you for acting the way you do. You can't paint a rock green and pass it off as an emerald. The same is true with you. Just because you are "Good" and stand on the side of justice doesn't mean you are just and good. You are the real wolf is sheep's clothing... not your old friend in the stories they told as you said he was. I will never forget what you put my through that week. The fury that raged within, and determination I felt to see you fall, to see you pay. You left wreckage and turmoil in your path because your eye was on that prize. Oh that fateful week in Fall 2013. I didn't let you win. I made sure you didn't.

In a separate incident, you barged in unexpected to that house, and acted justly in the name of goodness, but you only carried out evil deeds. You didn't care who was in your way... you wanted to make D pay. Jealousy consumed you. You couldn't handle not being the special one could you? So many people would do just about anything to be you, to have what you have. Nonetheless you went after D's family, and you harmed someone who later became a close friend of mine, A. You took it out on the innocent and uninvolved.

I knew these things when I encountered you in person for the first time, face to face. You were so charming; the introverted, aesthetically pleasing scientist who smiled at the things I said and gave me "looks" of support, like we were in something together. I could tell you never held it against me that we were at odds that one week during Fall 2013. I heard others tell of your stories when you were a boy, and of your father; how great he was, and how smart you were. We sat together at meetings giving each-other knowing looks; never friends but always mutually respecting one another and what we offered. I could never truly approve of you, not after what you did. But you made me forget. I became one of the many people who made excuses for you; who passed you off as being a fish out of water who the others just didn't understand.

The next competition we competed in, I was in a bad way. I came to you with a deal to help both of us. I offered you something priceless to me. I did it out of desperation to save my partner D, in that challenge, to keep him safe. You agreed. I was fascinated to know if you would carry out your end of the bargain. To my pleasant surprise, you did. You acknowledged me thereafter - but that was it. You seemed unenthused about our deal. As weeks went on the deal we made started to come to light. Your team turned on you, but it was too late. One by one they fell. I should have taken this as sign - you betrayed your team to get ahead. You would do anything to get ahead, wouldn't you?

We stuck together but as time went on, I got more and more weary. There was nothing I could do - the chips were always in your favor. Luck was on your side. KK was dead set against me. He whispered in your ear that I would be traitorous, that I would get you out. Did you stand by me? Did you get my back? You knew I wasn't traitorous, so why did you give him that power? Why did you end up sending me packing? Why did you get me out? Did you back-stab me? Was I rook who was no longer useful to your strategy? I told you to your face afterwards that you would lose without me. You wouldn't have a chance at winning. You told me that never wrote my name on that ballet. You said you never did. You always voted to keep me in. What does that matter? It's not like you have a shred of honor. Why do you bother with me? You know that I won't pick you over my friend A, surely. Nonetheless I went home.

On my way out I was given the power to help someone do well in the game. In order to do so the person who needed help needed to ask for it themselves. A was who I was going to help, and I helped him, indeed. You asked me for help, and I hesitated for a while, but said no. The second time you asked, you asked so sincerely. You asked me again, not my partner, me... again. I did help you, that one time. You were clearly surprised, and made it to the end; you and KK against A. I told you that without me, you would for sure lose. When you tried to win people over you got careless with your words. You opened up about our deal but instead of including truths you included partial truths and filled in the rest with falsities. It didn't matter though, because in the end, you lost. Remember my words. Let them burn in your mind over the next week.

After your behavior, where do you get off saying that we have chemistry? That you might be interested in me as more than what I am to you now? As a romantic possibility. You pinned us, "Naughtier than Nice." What does that even mean? You are frustrating. I don't want chemistry with you. I don't want you to write catch phrases for our relationship, or stare into my eyes with those sweet looks. You are not sweet, and I want you gone. Stop weaseling your way into my life. You are trouble; just as much trouble for me as D. Trouble is the last thing I need. I had enough trouble after me last relationship.

- H

[r.ddler]

Why did I have to convince myself I had
feelings for someone I didn't truly know? I mean, I know
I do that a lot, but why? What is the purpose. He was sixteen for Christ's sake!
Why did I think I could possibly leak attention out of him? Is that what I am?
An attention whore? I mean cause if that's what it really is, I can tell myself to stop that
to. But there are other things that could link to my behavior, valuable things that could
just cease existing. Then again, wouldn't I have known about them if they meant so much to me?

Why do I chase romantic ideas when all they do is leave me feeling empty,
or ceasing with emotion. I don't get it, should I just categorize it under the gender
I'm under? I know females can get bad when it comes to romance, and fantastical ideas, but
this is bad for my standards. And I don't think I can blame the stereotypes I don't agree with,
or fall under half the time!

I seriously care for you, as a friend.
I have no idea if you're a 50 year old man on the other side
of the screen. But you've been fun to waste days on. No matter how terrible the consequences,
and I'd like to thank you, and apologize for the lack
of logging on now a days... well I still get on once a day... just much less then at least
fifty times a day if you ask me. But it has been fun the two years I've "known" you,
please don't take offense to the fact that I'm not sure if I should trust your age,
but seriously, better safe than sorry. Although I will have you know,
I think of you as a 16 year old, not a 50 year old bored man.

Sincerely, Kelso.

[city of angels;]

dear boy with the glasses and the gauges,

I liked you the minute I saw you in my class on the first day of school. I've been drawn to the bad ones, because I know the bad ones are broken. Brokenness...well, brokenness has always been my strong point. Maybe that's why I want to be a psychologist so badly. I'm weird, I know.

Anyway, I know you don't like who you are. I know you hate your life. I know they tease you thinking you're okay but you really aren't and it hurts. Yeah, I've watched you. Yeah, I've concluded that from the way you act when you're with those people you call friends, and when you're alone. And your Twitter account helped some, too. I know I don't speak to you. I know I'm just the girl in the back of the class who keeps her mouth shut, but I believe in you. You've got a dream, kid, go for it. Don't let them take you down. Don't call them friends, either. A friend loves you and supports you no matter what you do. If they make fun of you, if they hate you for it, they aren't friends.

Why are you so ashamed of yourself? Why are you so lonely? Is that pretty girlfriend not enough for you? No, she's not because you're really broken and I don't know why.

I don't know you. I've never spoken to you. But we've caught each other's eye before. And the next time we do, I hope you know I'm there for you.

love,
the girl in the back of your sixth hour

[garnet.]

Dear TB

yeah its me again hello
Its been four months now... and yet I dont feel like wearing a damned birthday hat....
its getting harder now... the highs are getting higher, the lows are getting lower and I just cant deal with this dang feelings!!
We were in a different room today and dammit I was dissapointed because couldn't sit near you and I miss you so much right now I just want you to feel this too so that I can just hug you and feel like its going to be okay
I dont know what you feel
I just wish I did
I mean
im so confused
I read somewhere once that after liking someone for four solid mobths you can say youre in love with them and people I have told seen to think it's true... that I am in love with you but I dont want to be
its just...
damn it
I love you
so much it literally hurts and im trying not to cry and its all your fault... ALL OF IT
not that you know
not thwt youll
ever know

Much love and care
X

[widowed]

dear _______ and ______,

thank you. you guys are true friends and i thank you for being there for me. what you told me today gave my heart a little joint to know that i actually have more than one friend that isn't fake. thank you, and i hope you know the same goes for you two.

love,
pinkie.

dear _____,

oh my gosh, i was worried sick about you. i really wish i would've known what happened, so i didn't have to worry about you. i thought something really bad was going on. you didn't answer your phone and i didn't know where you were, or else i would've came to you. i am so sorry. also, you're really adorable. i love you so much.

love,
pinkie.

[Sakura Kyoko]

Dear Mother's boyfriend;

Any traces of leftover respect I should've for you are now gone. You're a good for nothing man and even though I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, it's now gone. I'm going to show you that your way of thinking is wrong, I'm going to make you eat your own words.

E V E R Y S I N G L E O N E O F T H E M.

Maybe not now but just you wait. You'll be sorry you said such stupid words.

[is da chik-in]

Dear Math teacher,
You completely suck at teaching math, you'll never be good at it, I could teach WAAAAAY better,
From your Haters,
THE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!

[oodles]

h -
what happened to our friendship? what happened to you calling me every weekend, wanting me to come over? what happened to our crazy adventures? what happened to you? the last time i saw you was at my birthday, and you were only there for a mere 10 minutes... i told you i wanted to come over and you said yes. i called you that night i was supposed to go to your house, but you never answered. i realize that we go to different high schools, and we have totally different lives, but what about what we had? we've known each other since early 2nd grade. i came over to your house everyday after school, the weekends, and vacations. i called your mom my mom, too. i know everything about you, and so do you. i completely understand that you have other friends, too. i respect that. but i have been there by your side for almost 10 years now. i barely, barely see you. i see you having fun with your friends on twitter, and it makes me sad because that used to be us. we used to be the ones going on vacations together, having crazy 3 am adventures, and countless other things. i have cried about you, because i honestly think you don't think of me as your friend anymore. the next time you try talking to me again, make it count. don't play my feelings by talking to me for a little bit, then totally ditching me for your other friends that probably won't even be there for you in the next 5 years. but i'll be here, waiting for you to come back and apologize. except this time, i'll be the one to leave you, so you can know exactly how i feel. i honestly don't know how long this friendship will last.

s

[Nanashi]

Dear ----

I am not sure if you would see this letter but I am sorry that I cause you trouble all the time. I am sleepy but never able to sleep even now as I am writing this quite late after staying up late for the past week. Anyways I am sorry that I am weak and you have to carry my issues. I'm sorry that I am ill that makes me worried about my health a lot. I'm sorry I am messed up, it makes me sick too. I'm sorry that I am pathetic and depressed all of the time sorry about everything. Most of all sorry if I am making you feel bad, I feel as if I am messing up everything but then again I am not sure about my own thoughts anymore. Well I am going to attempt to sleep this headache away...

Love,
Silvy

[iHolli]

Dear Lawrence...
You know what it's like. Internalizing. Keeping everything you feel locked away inside so you don't get yourself in trouble or end up being a burden. You know how hard it is to pretend everything is okay when it's not. You know how to act.
Haven't you figured out that I'm doing the same thing now? Don't you understand how lost and broken I really am? How hard it is to pretend day in and day out?
I don't think you realize, but I was being honest when I said I don't hold it against you. Yeah, you said it, but it was my fault you had to. You only went there because you thought it was best for us both.
Or did you?
We've talked very briefly only twice since that night almost two weeks ago. I can tell that it's at least a little hard for you, judging at least from how bad you say you feel about it. Yet here I am, not wanting to tell you how much I'm hurting or even talk to you at all just because I don't want to risk making you feel worse.
I promise you I only want you to be happy. If I was preventing that, then things are better this way. I know that loving someone sometimes means letting them go.
I don't know if you even miss me at all now...but I do. I miss you more than I should. Suddenly everything's a reminder that I can't shut out.
It's killing me.
But what can I do? I'm only able to pretend I'm fine. I can only wonder if things could ever return to normal, or even come close.
So...are you happy now?
I'm sorry I messed up...and I'm sorry I don't know how to be something you miss.
Funny how a song can describe life.

It's stupid, but I still love you...
--Holo

Dear ___,
I'm sorry...
We finally chatted for the first time in two years. It seems you haven't changed too much. That's all right. I liked you when we were best friends.
But things are different...just...what happened?
I don't know. I mean, yeah, our friendship was kinda fizzling out, but...it just ended. Just like that. I thought you'd stopped talking to me because of school, but now I see that you still talked to me even afterward. Was it actually me that stopped talking? Have I been wrong this whole time?
Everyone says I'm better off without you...but am I really? I miss the old days of you and me in all our hyperness. It was fun. Now I just miss it.
I miss my best friend. What can I say?
If only things hadn't come to this.

That girl who used to be your BFF,
--Holli.