Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[Insignia.Peril]

So... I have recently developed a major crush on my best guy friend, although I know he doesn't feel the same way about me.
I don't know what to do because I don't want to lose his friendship but I also don't want things to be so awkward when we hang out.
Does anyone have any advice?

[r.ddler]

So... I have recently developed a major crush on my best guy friend, although I know he doesn't feel the same way about me.
I don't know what to do because I don't want to lose his friendship but I also don't want things to be so awkward when we hang out.
Does anyone have any advice?

These situations are always hard. And you have to
make the decision yourself in the end. If you ask him about it, or tell him, he might just take
your offer on it. He might develop his own feelings... maybe he's had feelings for you he's been hiding.
The first thing you want to ask yourself is, do you want to know if he will accept your affections?
If not, you'll eventually have a very minor crush, that may flare up randomly, but eventually it'll be forgotten.

[Kajaru]

My boyfriend is so cute but I just can't...
He's helping me so much with the money right now but I rly feel bad about it, because I can't make something to thank him..
He is always the one paying or food and helping me out if I have problems with the money. He even bought me Pokemon Omega Ruby!
Man.. I'm feeling so bad right now.. I'm always asking him if he wants something in return but then he always hugs me and says "I just need you."
But I WANT to do something for him. I don't want to be the girlfriend that just sits there and does nothing. But I really don't know what I should do for him.. Any advice? You can PM me too.

I think I can relate to the situation you're in, but our roles would be reversed. In my case, not just with my date but my friends as well, I'm the one to help out if anyone needs anything but can't afford it at the time. They always want to try and pay me back, but I'll refuse because I really just enjoy helping them out when I can. If he says all he needs is you, then maybe that really is all he needs?
At the same time, if you're really determined to get him something then I'd suggest going for something that's a shared experiance. Maybe there's a movie he wants to see and you could offer to take him and buy the tickets for you two? If he tries to pay for the tickets anyways you could insist that this is something you're doing for him and that he's not allowed to pay for his own gift. I know you mentioned you're having some problems with money, but movie tickets aren't too expensive (at lest they aren't where I'm from) and it's a nice guesture to show him how much you care, along with a subtle way to pay him back indirectly through the form of a gift.
That's just one suggestion though of something you could do. My end advice here would be to aim for something simple and personnel to him that you know he'd enjoy and appreciate if you really want to get him something.

Thank you!
I guess it's really it that he enjoys to help and I will totally take the plan with the movie since cinemas aren't that expensive here either.
You helped me a lot. I feel way better now because I know what to do. ^-^
_____________________________________________________________________________

I feel like my relationship revolves around my bf's depression....
I just feel like medicine he takes whenever he feels bad, not a real girlfriend.
I want to help him, but I'm starting to have second thoughts on our choice to start dating.

I have depressions too and I'm mentally ill so I see how he and you are feeling.
My boyfriends helps me a lot with my illness too (because I have it since I was born) but I still love him very much.
But on some times I just have a feeling that I really need someone right now to discuss my depressions.
So is he only really talking to you if he's having his depression? And after that he doesn't really care about you? because I saw that a lot when I was at a psychiatry where like most of them only called their boyfriend/girlfriend just to discuss their feelings.
I guess you need to talk with him about that. You are a couple and you need to discuss your things out and if you can't then it'll not hold that long.

[vvoland]

I need help ;-; Really, really badly. This isn't about me having a crush, but rather, someone having a crush on me.

Before I rattle on, here's some quick history:: one of my old best friends liked me, and one of my really close friends has liked me for a few months. I've tried to wait these things out and they never fade.

My best friend is absolutely great. Love him to death. Don't know what I would do or be without him. We stay up all night talking, talk almost every day after school and talk every day on break. We hang out a lot outside of school too -- ice skating and the likes. I'm not sure how long ago but at some point, he admitted to liking me. That wasn't a huge surprise to me. He's really sweet and super adorable and he always tells me I'm pretty and that he really cares about me. But... I don't like dating. I have no desire to date anyone right now, especially not my best friend. It's not that he's not a great person -- he's my number one! I just don't want to date him. But this is putting a rift in our friendship. Where he wants to be kind and such, I now shy away, because I'm deathly afraid I've been leading him on. He used to have a crush on my ex-best friend (who he now hates) and I've had crushes on his friends and it's an absolutely mess. I just want things to go back to how they were. Best friends, and just best friends. What do I do? How do I convince him not to like me and to find someone else? How do I get things back to how they were? Is it hopeless? Are we just destined to grow apart? He admits to obsessing over me and he says I'm out of his league, he's got a gallery of pictures of me and my art and stuff. He's absolutely amazing and I don't want to lose him, but I can't be in a relationship with someone that I have such a platonic love with. I can't sleep worrying about this, I've cried more than I have in forever and it's really taking a toll on my mental health.

Thank you so much for any advice. I really need anything you can offer.

I think you should tell him what you told us;; you're really glad to have him as a friend, and that you do really care about him, but you aren't really a "dating" person. And you could also say he means so much to you that you'd never want to mess up your friendship

[ScarWitch]

Going on 13 hours without a word from my boyfriend... he isn't at school and his brother doesnt know hoe he is... I ain't sure if he's still at the hospital or if he's home... dear God I hope he's okay... ;-; I slept maybe 2 hours last night because of the worry... dang it JD...

[snowdrake]

Well...Hi ^^'
This is the first time posting on this thread for me...
I have a problem:
Im at my boyfriends house since saturday and he called a friend while I was watching a Pokemon movie because...well I like Pokemon.
His friend asked my bf if I was doing something with Pokemon because he heard Pikachu and he said 'yes'.
Then his friends answer was 'oh my god..' and my bf just said 'yeah I dont know what's wrong with her either'.
Today I was talking with him about that because it wasn't okay for me that he was so mean but then the problem begins:
(First I must say that I am usually a very nice person but if someone gets on my nerves I can get very agressive because of psychical problems and because Im depressive)
So I told him that it wasnt okay and he said that they weren't mean (maybe they weren't but it's still not okay for me) and I asked him why he didn't tell his friend to calm down a little.
His answer: 'But if I tell him he's gonna flip out and Im not going to do that because you're overreacting!' And then me: 'So you dont care about me or what?' He: 'Dont tell me I need to like you more than him!' Me: 'I dont. I just asked you why you would do so many things for him' (He really does like him more than me how it seems) 'and why you're ignoring me all the time when you do something together...'
And then it keeps on and on and on...
The worst thing for me is that he stays calm and seems to laugh at me because I get more angry from time to time.
It's everytime like this and I just dont know what to do anymore...

[thunderofthedrum]

My boyfriend is so cute but I just can't...
He's helping me so much with the money right now but I rly feel bad about it, because I can't make something to thank him..
He is always the one paying or food and helping me out if I have problems with the money. He even bought me Pokemon Omega Ruby!
Man.. I'm feeling so bad right now.. I'm always asking him if he wants something in return but then he always hugs me and says "I just need you."
But I WANT to do something for him. I don't want to be the girlfriend that just sits there and does nothing. But I really don't know what I should do for him.. Any advice? You can PM me too.

Well it would help if you are more clear. Do you mean he is contributing a LOT of money, like helping you with rent, or just little things like a few dollars to get fast food occasionally? And how much is this game? That might have just been a spontaneous gift for you. It would help do know how much money he contributes and how often. And you can certainly show your appreciation in non-money ways, such as doing thoughtful things for him like making a special card to remind him of your feelings for him, helping him with homework, etc.

omg me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year and 8 days and he is like never around but when he is he really shows he loves me. he knows i love him more that my own life and that there are plenty of guys who i know have a crush on me but there are 3 guys and i really want to be there friend and i've taken steps to be there friend but i feel like one of them likes me or i may just be imagining it but i think i really like them but i still am devoted to my boyfriend, night and day. i'm still a teen but i have very strong feelings for all these guys in my life and love them all. oh why can't we date more that one guy, it would be so much easier. and when i say devoted i mean that i have a freaking shrine of him, or at least a lot of reminders of him all over my house.
i seriously need help with my other love triange that i'm in. it involves me and my bf or course but there is also my other friend and he's like a brother to me (if there is a forum about stuff like jealousy can someone pm me about that) and he had a crush on my but now it's smaller and i have a crush one him and he said that if i ever break up with my bf that he would take me because he was that first person i told about him. i need serious help with this. WHAT DO I DO
I'M BARLEY EVEN CUTE LET ALONE HOT!

I don't have much advice to offer here but one thing really caught my eye and made me concerned - you have a shrine?! That is NOT healthy. That suggests you idolize him and have him up on a pedestal in your mind. You also said he's rarely around? What is he doing with the rest of his time? Is he legitimately busy or does he just choose to not spend much time with you?

With the other guys, well that is all you. YOU need to decide who you want to be with. Yeah, it's crazy hard. But it's not fair to your boyfriend to be seriously considering other guys like this.

How... Do I tell my dad about me and my boyfriend?
He's the type who's usually nice and all but he can be really strict at times,
I'm thinking about saying:
I have this guy's number and he asked me out..
Is ot ok if I say yes?
But I don't know.. I feel I've put it off too long..

That could certainly work. By asking if you can say yes, you are letting your dad know that he has some control and that you respect his input and want permission. And I say the sooner the better - you are only going to worry more if you put it off for longer!

[Ducky_Dearest]

Sooo...
I had a crush on my internet friend,
quickly told myself it couldn't happen. Got
over that... but... I'm homeschooled, and antisocial,
and the way I plan on going in life, I won't have many opportunities
to meet guys/ men (whichever you want to call it). I'm kinda confused,
I hear people talking about love at first sight, meeting guys at stores,
parks, checking the mail, meeting them face to face after internet friendships...
but I don't see that happening. I'm mostly against internet relationships/ long distance (don't hit me .w.)
I've never had good luck, and I can never actually find out who they really are in my position.
But back to the the park, and shopping love meets... I'm more shy, or well... aggressively hermit.
And I prefer knowing who I have a crush on. When I don't I obsess over them, and they're too busy to talk to me.
I dunno, I don't need an answer, I'm just confused...

Im with you! I dont really feel like dating anytime soon, but i do want a good relationship, even if its just friends! Im a Hermite too and i have social anxiety. Im not good around lots of people but want friends! Also, im home schooled and lost all contact with old friends. Best of luck to you!

[Insignia.Peril]

So... I have recently developed a major crush on my best guy friend, although I know he doesn't feel the same way about me.
I don't know what to do because I don't want to lose his friendship but I also don't want things to be so awkward when we hang out.
Does anyone have any advice?

These situations are always hard. And you have to
make the decision yourself in the end. If you ask him about it, or tell him, he might just take
your offer on it. He might develop his own feelings... maybe he's had feelings for you he's been hiding.
The first thing you want to ask yourself is, do you want to know if he will accept your affections?
If not, you'll eventually have a very minor crush, that may flare up randomly, but eventually it'll be forgotten.

I did talk to him about it the other day... He said he only likes me as a friend *sigh* Oh well... thanks for the advice anyways.

[iStarz & Everly]

I spent this past weekend with my boyfriend and met the rest oh his family, but when I ask him to meet mine, he refused. It didn't bother me the first time I asked and he said no, but now it does. We've been together for 7 months now, he's 22 almost 23 and I'm 18, almost 19. I need help.