by interestingword » Sun Dec 28, 2014 4:35 pm
Dear brother,
It's been so, so long, hasn't it? So very long. I...I don't even remember what your voice sounds like. We went to see a movie today, it's the last in a trilogy I know you'd love, you adored the first one. I remember watching you read the cheap movie novel thing for it, and sometimes I'd steal it and read it until I fell asleep. The actor of your favorite character, he...he passed on, I'm sorry to tell you. You'd have cried if you were here. So much has happened...I've got two pet snakes, now. And a gecko. Plus a fish. And we've got two cats, I know you'd approve of those- you were promised a kitty when you got better. We've still got all the legos you had, every one, and mom and dad have their own huge sets. Me, I've got a few here and there, but I prefer keeping to the things I craft with cardboard. Still have Buckbeak though, don't worry. He'll be safe with me, and I remember you telling me I could only have him to play with once a month, many years ago, I thought it to be the best deal in the world. I remember you using your allowance to buy me lego sets of my own, and giving me your pokemon cards, and that final cat story you told me..so wildly immature, I know, but five-year-old me cherished those like nothing else. You still haven't told me what happens to Kitty, and you never will, never can, no matter how hard I wish.
If only you could see me now, staring morosely at my screen, wondering just how drastically different life would be if I still had you to talk to every day. Wondering if I'd be in public school. Wondering what everyone I've met on the internet would be doing. Wondering if I'd still be stuck with that horrid "friend" I had for so long, too stupid to see her using me. You know, I don't have any friends anymore. Only one person -- not family-- knows about you, and the others...well... They ask about siblings, I answer I had one, never had the need to go into details. I barely know 'em. You were my lifelong friend, until you couldn't be any longer, and I don't dwell. I am somehow not ashamed to say I don't dwell, even if I should be. What's done is done and I can't being you back.
However, before I sign off, I'd just like to tell you...thanks. For being my brother. For letting me inherit your sense of humor and wonder. For paving the way to my reptile love, all starting with naughty little Snakey, that imaginary friend to go along with the cats and dogs you told me tales of. Thanks brother.
-Signed,
A grateful sibling who misses you dearly.
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