Dear friends, family, and all others,
I realize it's hard to see me as I am now, and I want you to see that I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to be the girl I used to be. I've changed so much in such a short window of time, I've lost everything and everyone.
To you Mother,
-I want to ask you to see me. To realize that I won't be the fancy lawyer you want me to be.
-Show me you care how I feel, and who I aspire to be.
-See that I am clinging to the last shred of hope that I can impress you, show you that I can do something you approve of.
-I am not you, so don't compare me to you.
-Please show me you can listen, to actually listen. When you say you "listen", what you are really saying is, "I'm waiting to talk, hurry up". I can see that
-A 'B' on a test/quiz is something I am okay with, it does not mean I am stupid.
-I want you to look into my eyes, and tell me that you can accept that I want to be a game designer, not a lawyer.
-I don't care about money, or what color my nails are.
-I just want to be accepted, my friends are just like me and we're all nerds so deal with it.
-Don't worry in three more years I'll be out of your hair and someone else's problem
To you Best Friend,
-Thank you, you have always been kind and shown me what it is to be strong
-We have been through so much together and everything you have done for me has helped.
-You are my lifeline. Hurry up and save me.
To you Boy,
-I fell in love with you, head over heals, drowning in love with you. And you didn't even acknowledge me.
-I went out of my way to show you I cared and you showed you didn't feel the same
-Don't you think it's a common courtesy to at least acknowledge my existence when I acknowledge yours?
-I'm sorry I embarrass you.
-Let me just step out of the way, your highness, I wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of your friends, let me go hide away where they can't see me
To you Daddy,
-I love you daddy, thank you
-You are my idol, and I look up to you
-You accept I'm not like a lot of other girls, you accept I'm a bit of a nerd, and you don't care because you are one too
-You are my strand of hope. Don't let me fall
To you brother,
-I hate you
-You are the reason mother is still here, be happy
-Be grateful that you have her approval
-I hope you feel awful whenever daddy looks at you like you aren't the son you should be. You should be more like me, not some run-of-the-mill idiot
-Grandmother always says I should be more like you, but she doesn't know who you really are
-At least I'm actually who I want to be, you just pretend you are like everyone else, you make me sick
-I loathe you
-I know you are jealous of me.
-You know I'm smarter than you.
-I win everything against you
-I know you thing you are great and perfect, but all I see is a piece of cardboard with some blood running through it.
To you {female} classmates,
-You don't have to look at me like that
-Just pretend my group and I don't exist and get on with your disgusting existence
-At least I am who I want to be
-Have fun with your tiny bodies, and hair and face ruined by chemicals.
To Future Boy,
-HURRY UP ALREADY!
-My arms are getting tired holding up this sign the says, "I'M WAITING!"
To YOU {yes you reading this},
-I've laid myself out for you to see. Don't judge me
-I'm here to help ^^ if you ever need to talk I'm here almost everyday
-I'm a shoulder to cry on
-Everything said here is something I hold true to my heart, it's not all here, it will never be fully here. My mind isn't smart enough or that, just ask mother X3
To ME,
-You need to take down your walls
-You are kind, you just need to show it
-Knock their socks of, heck, send their feet with 'em!
-You can be beautiful, just set yourself free
