Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[thunderofthedrum]

Quiiiick question haha.
Sort of a matter of opinion... well sort of.
When do you think it's typical to start dating someone?
Well, the reason I'm wondering is because I just feel like I'm... behind. In high school, everyone just seems to have a boyfriend, or have someone be interested in them. I know that I don't exactly have time for a boyfriend (I have an incredibly busy life), that it's not the most important thing, and that I have plenty of time... I just want to end up alone for some reason.
My mom went to prom with a senior when she was a freshman, and she met my dad at around my age.... I've never even held hands with a guy. I've been told that guys have had crushes on me apparently, but that was when I was little, so that doesn't really count. Idk, sorry if this sounds stupid I just have to kind of vent... I guess.
I know that it's not the most important thing... and that I have time... also, I know to never just be in a relationship just because... I'm just kind of... curious. I don't want to end up being alone until I'm in my sixties.

There is no 'typical'. That may depend on gender, culture, family values or parental rules, etc. It also depends on your own maturity and interest, as well as the gene pool you have available to you. For example, if you have seen the same group of people growing up and in school, then you may not feel interested in them, or say if you are homeschooled in a rural area and simply don't see many people at all, or you have only met people from a particular race, social class, etc, that may influence whether you feel interested in anyone or not.

Also, average may not even be a good way to gauge it; using the average isn't always the best idea because it's so easily influenced by outliers.

Moving on.. You can easily meet people who started dating at a wide range of ages! As far as I know, no one was ever interested in me during grade school, and neither did I really 'crush' on others much. I had my first kiss in college and even then it was a drunk guy at a party. Not exactly romantic! (my friends enjoy the story though and I'm neutral to the whole thing) Then I first started going out with someone at 21. And since then I've dated only 3 other guys but one was a long term relationship and now I'm in another serious relationship. One of my friends didn't date much in high school and is now married to the guy she started dating our first year of university. A couple friends who dated multiple guys in middle high school are now solidly single at our current age and have been for a while. One girl I know has dated a decent amount of people (had to have been like 6 people during middle and high school or more, plus since then) and she's now been with a guy for about a year. Quite a few people I went to high school with are now married. A few even have houses.

Yes, my mom got married when she was.. 4 years younger than I am now. So did my older brother. My oldest brother got married at.. 29? My best friend knows a woman who is getting remarried on December 30th and she's in her 60s to a man she's been with for.. I think they said like 9 years. A client I dogwalk for has a house with her boyfriend and they've been together at least several years yet seem to have no intention to get married (I think they are in their 40s/50s).

Everyone is different.

[city of angels;]

Alright, I don't know what to do. I really like him...but he has a girlfriend and he's crazy about her.

[.MoonShy.]

My friend (a guy) kinda used me as a rebound last month, he kinda forced his affection on me. Then about 2 weeks ago he made a friend very upset and said some rude things. I told him off and he was acting like he had no soul. Then he told me to stop talking to him, so we did for a week, he apologized and we were friends again. All the emotions that I ever had for him were gone and I think of him as a friend. Now he asked me if I liked chocolates! And he said he wanted to buy me some! HELP! I don't like him and I hate rejecting people (Lat year that failed... He still claims I put him in a depression) What should I done if he ask me out, and I've told my friend (he was there) I DONT WANT TO DATE!

[Bluemare40]

My friend (a guy) kinda used me as a rebound last month, he kinda forced his affection on me. Then about 2 weeks ago he made a friend very upset and said some rude things. I told him off and he was acting like he had no soul. Then he told me to stop talking to him, so we did for a week, he apologized and we were friends again. All the emotions that I ever had for him were gone and I think of him as a friend. Now he asked me if I liked chocolates! And he said he wanted to buy me some! HELP! I don't like him and I hate rejecting people (Lat year that failed... He still claims I put him in a depression) What should I done if he ask me out, and I've told my friend (he was there) I DONT WANT TO DATE!

First of all, don't feel pressured to date! I've sort-of-ish been in your situation before and from what it sounds like, he definitely is trying to pressure you into dating him. I know it's really hard to reject someone, but you've got to think: is it better to spare the feelings of someone you don't like and being stuck with them, or being happy while having to tell them.
You shouldn't feel bad about not liking him either hon, you can't help it ya' know? It's just natural who you like (and don't like.)
If you want to be friends, yeah sure of course, but don't feel pressured to be in a relationship EVER! (This goes for any situation.)
Hope this helps!

[ardentsongbird]

I've got a question...

I recently moved schools, and its great and all, but there is a guy that seems to really like me, and he's always talking to me and such. But in my old school, I went through a really bad experience with a guy I liked (he crushed me), and I don't want to talk to the new guy not because I don't want to be his friend, but I don't want him to begin to like me more. But when I say it like that, I feel selfish... What should I do? I don't want to hurt his feelings... (I would've asked my friend, but they seem to be going through some stuff right now so... I don't want to bother her with my problems...)

Although it doesn't feel right at this moment in time, become close friends with him! Make sure he is a person that you'd go to for help or questions. If he ever drops hints that he wants/is going to ask you out, tell him about what happened with you and you're previous crush. No, I don't want you to give him a sob story, but maybe it may be enough of a hint for him to understand that you're not interested in dating him at the moment.

[Keletheryl]

Alright, I don't know what to do. I really like him...but he has a girlfriend and he's crazy about her.

All you can do is try to make yourself move on. You can't force somebody to like you, and if he's head over heels for his girlfriend, then what do you plan to do anyways? There's literally nothing you can do except realize that and try to move on from it.

[thunderofthedrum]

Alright, I don't know what to do. I really like him...but he has a girlfriend and he's crazy about her.

Then the answer is obvious. It sounds more like you know what to do but don't like the answer.
That you do nothing.
Sometimes that's just how it is.

[frye]

There's this guy I like, I can hardly talk to him because I'm an awkward person, I don't know what I should say, any tips?

[Puppi]

Well my crush... She's amazing I have told her I have a crush on her but she has a crush on someone else. Yeah that's sad but we are still good friends well anyway I think she is adorable and she is a great drawer.

[kotalicious]

I'm officially in a relationship now <3 I like him a lot and could actually picture myself being with him for the rest of my life. My parents dont approve though. A lot of people don't actually. They've been messaging me for a while telling me I shouldn't be with him. I dont know what to do. I won't leave him but I hate the messages