Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[greysilence]

quick question;
how do I gain the confidence to speak to my crush, when I can barely even speak to a random boy? (did that make sense?)

the thing is, Im generally a confident girl and I can make friends quite easily, but when It comes to guys, my brain shuts down and I go into like, ultra shy mode. I stutter like crazy, Im always scared to say something in fear that they may judge me for it, and whenever they take a step closer, I take a huge step back.

Its not because I feel uncomfortable, its just I don't want them to be so close to my face and stare at it for a long time. And almost everytime they compliment me, or act all flirty, I LITERALLY SQUEAK AND ACT ALL AWKWARD.

IT ANGERS ME SO MUCH.

and what makes it worse, after im already a blushing mess, they either say my 'squeak' was cute, or that Im adorable.
which causes me to act even more awkward and shy.

how do I stop acting like this around guys? especially around my crush?
how can I gain more confidence to actually speak with him and not act like a huge awkward mess?

thanks in advance,
cadet feels.

<3

It appears you're kind of looking at males as a different species than females. Try to view them as what they are - human beings. A lot of girls tend to get nervous around guys, and it's okay. There's really nothing to be worried about. Just be yourself. It's alright if you get a bit awkward. Chances are, they don't think you're being awkward. We may think something is awkward or obvious when it's happening, but to the other person it might be natural or unnoticeable. Just take a deep breath and try not to overreact. Just remain calm while you hold a conversation with him. Act natural, and don't make a big deal out of it. You're just one human being talking to another human being.

[Refugee]

quick question;
how do I gain the confidence to speak to my crush, when I can barely even speak to a random boy? (did that make sense?)

the thing is, Im generally a confident girl and I can make friends quite easily, but when It comes to guys, my brain shuts down and I go into like, ultra shy mode. I stutter like crazy, Im always scared to say something in fear that they may judge me for it, and whenever they take a step closer, I take a huge step back.

Its not because I feel uncomfortable, its just I don't want them to be so close to my face and stare at it for a long time. And almost everytime they compliment me, or act all flirty, I LITERALLY SQUEAK AND ACT ALL AWKWARD.

IT ANGERS ME SO MUCH.

and what makes it worse, after im already a blushing mess, they either say my 'squeak' was cute, or that Im adorable.
which causes me to act even more awkward and shy.

how do I stop acting like this around guys? especially around my crush?
how can I gain more confidence to actually speak with him and not act like a huge awkward mess?

thanks in advance,
cadet feels.

<3

It appears you're kind of looking at males as a different species than females. Try to view them as what they are - human beings. A lot of girls tend to get nervous around guys, and it's okay. There's really nothing to be worried about. Just be yourself. It's alright if you get a bit awkward. Chances are, they don't think you're being awkward. We may think something is awkward or obvious when it's happening, but to the other person it might be natural or unnoticeable. Just take a deep breath and try not to overreact. Just remain calm while you hold a conversation with him. Act natural, and don't make a big deal out of it. You're just one human being talking to another human being.

Exactly what they said. Guys are human beings, its kind of hard to put that in perspective when you're new to them and haven't dated much. So its a learning process. I feel in a few years that initial shines and awkwardness will wear off. I was like that in middle school and it all stopped for me freshman year of high school. Just relax! They have inner thoughts and emotions like you, with stories to tell and important things to say. Pretend he's one of the girls if that helps (not like, talking about shopping and stuff, I mean your anxiety level) and also pro tip: going out with friends and making them hang with his will take off the pressure versus you alone with him. Group dates are a ton of fun when everyone gets along and no one feels nervous!

[r.ddler]

Umm, so I've posted before,
all it was really was a rant. But I'm realizing how much
I like these guys, or how much I'm tricking myself into liking them.
My mind takes on a Placebo affect, if I say something, and dwell on it,
my mind makes it fact. No if, ands, or buts, if I say I like someone, I do. It always happens.
And, well, I like my ex. Of course I still do, the only reason I dumped him was because there were so many rumors about
him liking someone else. And well, knowing him it was probably true, he was a year younger than me, and a boy. In a whole
different school, and two grades below me, so he was embarrassed about dating me, the antisocial bully. And
well... I cut it off so I wasn't chaining him down, so he could flirt shamelessly around everywhere, whether I was
watching or not, now he was aloud to flutter around. And... now he's talking to me again, trying to get
my attention. But I also really like one of my good friends. Never met him in real life,
but hey! Why not, he seems very nice, and trustworthy. I haven't even tried testing my boundaries, of what I can, or can not do around him. But I already have pre-concieved ideas of what he may approve of or not. And really, I've already
confronted him about my feelings. I thought I actually loved him. I don't know if it's true, and...
and now I don't know if he likes me or not. Just a week ago he said I was just a good friend.

(Me and my internet buddy, the one I like, have two OC's that are a couple, so sometimes
we send little cute love notes, but now... I'm not sure if it's the OC messages, just a friendly I Love You, or
if heLove, Loves me. I'm fighting internally on whether I should ask or not.)

[Dugong]

bump

[mars]

I think I just got friend zoned.

One of my friends recently just found out that I like this guy. She decided to try to help me out a bit because she doesn't like him and has made that very clear, but the problem is I know he likes her and not me because he told her a few months ago. I keep seeing them flirting together and I feel really bad - I was just starting to get close to him when she swooped down and took my place sitting next to him and talking to him and I just.. I'm really upset. I feel like she backstabbed me in a weird sort of way because she was the one who stood up and talked while I sat in the back corner all quiet, shy, and unnoticed. So now he just acts like he's too busy to talk or do anything anymore while he hangs out with her /:

Shes always saying that she likes this other guy who she has been on and off with for a while, I actually even caught them making out the other day, but she doesn't act that way very often. And the guy I like has a lot of girls as friends who all like him too, he recently just went to a movie with one while I'm stuck at home talking to him over Instagram maybe once a day. The only thing he's said to me over the weekend is that my art is pretty, and that he'd try to watch me draw the next time I stream because he couldn't get join.me to work this time.

I can't help but think of him all the time. I always catch glimpses of him in crowds when he's not there, imagine his voice in my head, and I just can't think straight anymore. He's the only guy I can even think of, he's way too perfect and kind. I hate this whole jealousy and envy thing because I'm feeling it more than ever right now.. I'm going crazy just watching it all unfold. It makes me sick.

Any tips on how to feel better when you've been friend zoned?

[r.ddler]

I think I just got friend zoned.

One of my friends recently just found out that I like this guy. She decided to try to help me out a bit because she doesn't like him and has made that very clear, but the problem is I know he likes her and not me because he told her a few months ago. I keep seeing them flirting together and I feel really bad - I was just starting to get close to him when she swooped down and took my place sitting next to him and talking to him and I just.. I'm really upset. I feel like she backstabbed me in a weird sort of way because she was the one who stood up and talked while I sat in the back corner all quiet, shy, and unnoticed. So now he just acts like he's too busy to talk or do anything anymore while he hangs out with her /:

Shes always saying that she likes this other guy who she has been on and off with for a while, I actually even caught them making out the other day, but she doesn't act that way very often. And the guy I like has a lot of girls as friends who all like him too, he recently just went to a movie with one while I'm stuck at home talking to him over Instagram maybe once a day. The only thing he's said to me over the weekend is that my art is pretty, and that he'd try to watch me draw the next time I stream because he couldn't get join.me to work this time.

I can't help but think of him all the time. I always catch glimpses of him in crowds when he's not there, imagine his voice in my head, and I just can't think straight anymore. He's the only guy I can even think of, he's way too perfect and kind. I hate this whole jealousy and envy thing because I'm feeling it more than ever right now.. I'm going crazy just watching it all unfold. It makes me sick.

Any tips on how to feel better when you've been friend zoned?

You know, I've felt almost exactly the same. Almost exactly.
Only instead of my phone and instagram, it was his cousin's phone, and facebook. Ugh.
He might actually like you. But you wont know unless you somehow get into his head to.
I'd suggest trying to catch him in school, and actually face to face. That makes it a lot more personal,
and memorable. Try to help him out here and there, but otherwise... I don't know.

[~IronRose~]

I've been in a sticky situation for a pretty long time now. I'm still not over my ex boyfriend of a week and I don't know what to do. I don't know why I haven't been able to get over him but because of him I haven't been able to date anyone else because I know I wouldn't be loyal if I still want to be with him.
I am in love with him and I can't help it, it sucks. I rarely see him anymore but when I do see him, I feel trapped, like I want to tell him but can't. I know he doesn't love me back, heck he broke up with me after a week and then rarely talked to me for over a year.
I still see him in my dreams, where he falls in love with me and we're together. He's always there, almost every night. is it some kind of sign as to why I shouldn't and can't get over him. Because he is always on my mind. And I can't help it.
Everyone tells me to get over him but they don't realize that I physically cannot.

[thunderofthedrum]

quick question;
how do I gain the confidence to speak to my crush, when I can barely even speak to a random boy? (did that make sense?)

the thing is, Im generally a confident girl and I can make friends quite easily, but when It comes to guys, my brain shuts down and I go into like, ultra shy mode. I stutter like crazy, Im always scared to say something in fear that they may judge me for it, and whenever they take a step closer, I take a huge step back.

Its not because I feel uncomfortable, its just I don't want them to be so close to my face and stare at it for a long time. And almost everytime they compliment me, or act all flirty, I LITERALLY SQUEAK AND ACT ALL AWKWARD.

IT ANGERS ME SO MUCH.

and what makes it worse, after im already a blushing mess, they either say my 'squeak' was cute, or that Im adorable.
which causes me to act even more awkward and shy.

how do I stop acting like this around guys? especially around my crush?
how can I gain more confidence to actually speak with him and not act like a huge awkward mess?

thanks in advance,
cadet feels.

<3

Guys are humans. Also, I think the issue here is confidence and practice. You don't just magically sprout confidence and good social skills in a day. It takes time and practice to become more comfortable with talking to people - including guys.

Ok, so I'm dating this guy who I feel like I should love but yet I'm trying to move on from my ex. I still have feelings for my ex but I cant. I haven't remembered a dream for a while now but I just had 2 dreams about my ex. I love my boyfriend but yet I love my ex, should I txt my ex and see if we will ever have a chance? Cause I think he lied to me about the reason he broke up with me. I'm scared but I love my ex.

Sounds like you haven't moved on. That means you are not giving your boyfriend your full attention and that is NOT fair to him.

Also, you may just need to deal with the fact that it's over with your ex. Do you really want to spend the time asking your ex if you have a chance with him? Do you want to risk your current relationship? What if he has moved on already?

You need to sit down and think on these things, make your decision, and stick with it. It's not fair to your boyfriend to be stuck on your ex to the point of telling the internet about it.

[ayeo]

It appears you're kind of looking at males as a different species than females. Try to view them as what they are - human beings. A lot of girls tend to get nervous around guys, and it's okay. There's really nothing to be worried about. Just be yourself. It's alright if you get a bit awkward. Chances are, they don't think you're being awkward. We may think something is awkward or obvious when it's happening, but to the other person it might be natural or unnoticeable. Just take a deep breath and try not to overreact. Just remain calm while you hold a conversation with him. Act natural, and don't make a big deal out of it. You're just one human being talking to another human being.

Exactly what they said. Guys are human beings, its kind of hard to put that in perspective when you're new to them and haven't dated much. So its a learning process. I feel in a few years that initial shines and awkwardness will wear off. I was like that in middle school and it all stopped for me freshman year of high school. Just relax! They have inner thoughts and emotions like you, with stories to tell and important things to say. Pretend he's one of the girls if that helps (not like, talking about shopping and stuff, I mean your anxiety level) and also pro tip: going out with friends and making them hang with his will take off the pressure versus you alone with him. Group dates are a ton of fun when everyone gets along and no one feels nervous! :)

Guys are humans. Also, I think the issue here is confidence and practice. You don't just magically sprout confidence and good social skills in a day. It takes time and practice to become more comfortable with talking to people - including guys.

thank you for the advice everyone, and pointing out where my problem lies. c:
Although I feel horrible now, like - really bad because I never meant for it to seem like I see guys as a whole new species.
like they're not humans. :c

Im really sorry If offended any of the male members on this forum, it was not my intentions.

Im just not used to hanging around guys, or dating in particular.
and whenever I see my crush around town, I break down in a nervous sweat because of my shyness.

but, I will practice to be more confident when speaking with him, which I'll get to do more once I switch highschools next semester!

but once again, I appreciate your advice thunderofthedrum, Refugee and .Miserable.Doom.

You three helped me greatly with my problems. <3
I'll be sure to come back if I have any more questions. c:

[JustDucky]

I've been in a sticky situation for a pretty long time now. I'm still not over my ex boyfriend of a week and I don't know what to do. I don't know why I haven't been able to get over him but because of him I haven't been able to date anyone else because I know I wouldn't be loyal if I still want to be with him.
I am in love with him and I can't help it, it sucks. I rarely see him anymore but when I do see him, I feel trapped, like I want to tell him but can't. I know he doesn't love me back, heck he broke up with me after a week and then rarely talked to me for over a year.
I still see him in my dreams, where he falls in love with me and we're together. He's always there, almost every night. is it some kind of sign as to why I shouldn't and can't get over him. Because he is always on my mind. And I can't help it.
Everyone tells me to get over him but they don't realize that I physically cannot.

I'm sure getting over him isn't impossible. Try occupying your mind on some on else.