Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[thunderofthedrum]

What's a relationship

Typically seen as romantic but a friendship or any sort of connection could be termed a 'relationship'. It basically suggests you like the person for the most part and maintain a certain level of commitment.

is it normal to have a platonic crush even though you're in a relationship? i love my boyfriend, more than anything. if i didn't, i wouldn't have stayed in this relationship for over a year. but there's this girl in one of my classes who for some reason i just want to be around??

it's not like i'm attracted to her in romantic or other ways, but i just have this want to be near her?? she's a pretty gal, honestly, but it's not like i'd want to date her. i'm taken, and that's not going to change, especially not for some other person who i barely know.

gahhh. i just catch myself looking at her and lauging the most at her jokes and genuinely just enjoying her presence, more so than a friend would, but less than someone who wanted to date her would.

anyone have similar experiences with platonic crushes entirely?? it sounds extremely odd but i figure if it didn't happen more often, there wouldn't be a name for it.

You said it's not romantic attraction and that you wouldn't want to date her. So honestly that sounds like you just wanted to be friends. Sometimes you just feel you click with someone in a totally platonic way. I have a super close best friend and there have been very few other people I've 'clicked' with like that.

So, I guess what my point is (to stop myself from this becoming long winded and not directly addressing your question), it that you sound like you are overthinking and making this into a bigger issue than it is. You like her, maybe admire her, enjoy her company. What's wrong with that? I had a professor my first year of university who said he had a mancrush on Denzel Washington. Would he want to date the dude? Absolutely not. He wasn't attracted to men. BUT he thought Denzel to be a really cool guy and admired him and felt he would enjoy his company. Same principle. Does that make sense?




On a side note, I wanted to make something clear to everyone.
I personally DO NOT REPLY to posts that refer to people as L, R, S, etc. They confuse and overwhelm me from the very start and my brain just goes "Nope, not even going to read that". Refer to them as their real names, as animals, or is their names are Liz, Ryan, and Sarah you could change them to Laurie, Ricky, and Sandra for all I care (see? still the same first letter).
I don't know if this applies to anyone else, but I wanted to give a heads up.
I avoid posts with single letters like the plague.
I also do not respond to posts I cannot understand or fully cannot relate to (as in, I simply don't know how to respond).

[raezel]

---

You said it's not romantic attraction and that you wouldn't want to date her. So honestly that sounds like you just wanted to be friends. Sometimes you just feel you click with someone in a totally platonic way. I have a super close best friend and there have been very few other people I've 'clicked' with like that.

So, I guess what my point is (to stop myself from this becoming long winded and not directly addressing your question), it that you sound like you are overthinking and making this into a bigger issue than it is. You like her, maybe admire her, enjoy her company. What's wrong with that? I had a professor my first year of university who said he had a mancrush on Denzel Washington. Would he want to date the dude? Absolutely not. He wasn't attracted to men. BUT he thought Denzel to be a really cool guy and admired him and felt he would enjoy his company. Same principle. Does that make sense?

that makes sense, yeah. like i said before, i figured it's just a genuine interest in her and to be friends, but i needed someone else to assure me that was just it. thank you for the help!

[intristin]

Sooo... I have some news on my crush Bryce.

He asked me a few weeks ago if I liked him and I told him yes, I do. He hasn't talked about the subject since then, but he isn't avoiding me; he's still talking to me regularly and everything, so he isn't acting awkward about it... I'm wondering, should I ask him if he likes me? Or maybe continue the subject and see if we could date? He hasn't said he doesn't like me yet, so... If he didn't like me, he would have told me sooner, right? Or when I told him I liked him... Gah. Just confused.

Thanks in advance.

[kotalicious]

Ahh! I'm going out on a date with my crush tonight. I'm so nervous, yet so excited. He's going to pick me up in ten minutes and I have no idea what to expect. My mother and her friend want to meet him, which is nerve wrecking. My mom knows his mom and thinks she knows him so it should be okay, but I'm worried that she still won't like him. My mother means the world to me and I would hate to have her angry at me over a boy. Ugh, why can't my brain just shut up?

[Beta]

Ahh! I'm going out on a date with my crush tonight. I'm so nervous, yet so excited. He's going to pick me up in ten minutes and I have no idea what to expect. My mother and her friend want to meet him, which is nerve wrecking. My mom knows his mom and thinks she knows him so it should be okay, but I'm worried that she still won't like him. My mother means the world to me and I would hate to have her angry at me over a boy. Ugh, why can't my brain just shut up?

If it makes you feel any better, your mom is your best friend and she will support you no matter what, as she should. This means accepting whoever you chose to date, and welcoming them with open arms.

[pizzas and scream]

You people are too nice <3
He told me there was a chance he'd come back, but in the meantime it just hurts.
I don't know what comfort I have right now, really...
Guess I'll just keep on living... but how do I deal with the pain? I'm not good at that

Drowned yr sorrows in Siracha covered marshmallows and video games And touch some cats.

[thunderofthedrum]

Ahh! I'm going out on a date with my crush tonight. I'm so nervous, yet so excited. He's going to pick me up in ten minutes and I have no idea what to expect. My mother and her friend want to meet him, which is nerve wrecking. My mom knows his mom and thinks she knows him so it should be okay, but I'm worried that she still won't like him. My mother means the world to me and I would hate to have her angry at me over a boy. Ugh, why can't my brain just shut up?

If it makes you feel any better, your mom is your best friend and she will support you no matter what, as she should. This means accepting whoever you chose to date, and welcoming them with open arms.

My mom certainly isn't my best friend and she sure as heck didn't greet my last boyfriend with open arms. xD But yes, it sounds like your mom means a lot to you and I bet she knows that. Being able to talk to her is really good, priceless even. Besides, she hasn't said anything negative about him so far and when moms already know each other a bit I feel like that definitely helps - so that she knows he comes from a decent background and family. Just like when my mom has known the moms of other guys she seems to already give the guy the benefit of the doubt. Does that make sense? So I think that, if anything, this will make her more open and accepting.

Good luck! Have a good time. ^__^

[not a talking cat]

my crush's friend likes me.
this is bad
i hang out with them sometimes,
but my crush has purposely been avoiding me
just so his friend can talk to me alone

i dont like this ; n ; what should i do?

[gwanu]

my crush's friend likes me.
this is bad
i hang out with them sometimes,
but my crush has purposely been avoiding me
just so his friend can talk to me alone

i dont like this ; n ; what should i do?

there is a cruel way to do that.
i usually go for, let's play truth or dare! //le you to crush's friend
Eventually he will ask you who you like, and you tell him you like /crush's name here/ but ask him not to tell your crush.

[kafka]

pretty nervous right now, any advice appreciated!

I'll start from a few weeks ago, the nights of our school production. I was backstage crew (set guard), and this really cute guy (M) was in charge of props. My friends and I had always discussed how he was pretty good-looking throughout the year in a joking none-of-us-actually-like-him way. M is the class councillor of my best friend's class, and since I'm nearly always personality first, I never took interested in him. We were working pretty close for the production, I actually liked his personality and started crushing on him.

Recently, a guy (R) I had known since primary school added me on Facebook. He also worked alongside us as backstage crew, and after the final show he kept messaging me, asking me who I liked. Apparently, he's really interested in everyone's crushes, and literally his whole class trusts him with this stuff. In the end, I was tired of bottling everything up, so we agreed on a trade. He told me his crush, and I told him mine. The funny thing is, as soon as I told him, he said "I knew it" and "it was just instinct".

But anyways, the school formal is coming up in four weeks. I'm also a class councillor and the student council gets to plan and pull off the whole thing. To be honest, I really want to ask M, even if it's a casual thing. R has turned into my self-proclaimed wingman [click] [click] [click].

My main fears are that M doesn't notice me at all, making it too awkward to say yes to someone who you don't know, and that I'm going to screw up since I've never seriously asked someone "out" before. I'm hopefully doing it next week so M has time to think about it. My plan is to ask if he's going to the formal, and if he:
a] says yes, I ask who with. If he says noone, then I ask him to go with me.
b] says no, I ask him anyway.

Am I going about this the right way? What do you think M would say? Is R right in trying to help me? How do I combat my shyness and insecurities?