Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[thunderofthedrum]

I would love to have some help.

Me and my crush, we both like eachother. I told him first but we continued chatting both in person and not, then I moved schools but we still talk on facebook. Just yesterday he told me that he liked me but the problem is, he doesn't want to hurt me. He thinks he is a bad person and I could do so much better, he told me that he has hurt a lot of other girls and he is still recovering from a relationship.
(He also wants to be in the military, this will be important later)

Now I told him that this was alright. I would not push on a relationship and it was his choice, but I would always be open if he ever changed his mind.
He said that he didn't think he would change his mind because he wanted to be in the military and those relationships are very hard to keep. He said that he did not want to hurt me, but near the end of the conversation he was unsure.
I said alright, and I'll always be there for him. Then the conversation ended.

Point is. I am not sure what I should do. Move on or not. He has strict thoughts about the military but it is more of a dream then anything else. I respect that but would he change his mind? I have doubts on both sides, I am not sure whether I should move on or wait it out...I do believe strongly that he is a very good person just in the wrong situations, making the wrong decisions. But do you think he will change his mind?

I think some things to consider include:

- Is he at or near the age where he could enlist?
- Can you tell how serious he is about joining the military?
- Are you even open to a relationship right now?
- It would be long distance since you moved, are you okay with that?
- Is there any way to know if he's okay with that?
- If you are both open to it, do you really think military would be much different? (speaking from experience, it's not)
- Do you actually see any potential for him making better decisions? (be honest with yourself here)

Ultimately, it's partially up to whether he wants this enough. He may like you, sure, but not feel that it's worth all of this trouble. And that would be no insult to you, but rather just how things turned out in the way he weighed his own priorities and obligations. I was reluctant to give someone a try for similar reasons - in military, had been consistently making decisions I didn't agree with, and I'm not a fan of long distance. However, I'm pretty stable of mind with a decent life and we did connect, so I ended up giving him a chance. It doesn't happen the same for everyone or every time.

I do not feel at all able to predict his move, sorry.

Okay, so about a month and a half ago, this guy I liked asked me out, and I said yes. Maybe after a week and a half, he broke up with me through one of his friends. Now it is a month later, and me and him were good friends still, as I couldn't see why I should be mad at him for not liking me. So anyways, we were walking and talking, and suddenly he told me why he had to break up with me; because of school. So now he asked me out and we are dating again, but i'm afraid he'll just do the same thing a few days in the future.

I'm so confused of what to do right now, as last time, he told everyone that he broke up with me, so I just don't want everyone laughing at me again if it happens again...?

Well to put it simply, have you told him this?

I was told to stay away from M

Need help bad.

By who? Her? Someone else? Give us a little context...

[theatres]

a boy is hitting on me right now, and i want to turn him down gently without alerting the universe that i'm a lesbian?? i don't want to hurt his feelings but he's making me really uncomfortable and i just want him to leave me alone?? nicely??

[dandelionmaze]

a boy is hitting on me right now, and i want to turn him down gently without alerting the universe that i'm a lesbian?? i don't want to hurt his feelings but he's making me really uncomfortable and i just want him to leave me alone?? nicely??

say something like "it makes me uncomfortable when you hit on me."
you don't need to use your sexuality as an excuse, you don't need any excuse at all...if it's making you uncomfortable, you should ask him to stop. trying to be nice often ends in your point not coming across, so really, the nicest thing you can do is just be clear with him.

[thunderofthedrum]

I don't know that I'd go so far as to be blunt and whip out the word 'uncomfortable' because that may feel very negative to him, but at least let him know that you aren't interested. You can say you aren't attracted to him or something if you want, but you don't need to get personal or lie (such as people saying they are interested in someone else or not looking for a relationship). You aren't into him, and that's the simple truth. Perhaps also add that you just don't want him to waste his time or lead him on accidentally.

[DraconisSumeris]

Owo

Ok, so I like our timpani player in my marching band, ill call him timpani because thats his main instrament.
But, yea, we are really good friends. He is a year or so older then me, but a junior while im a freshie. I really like him, and i think he might like me too, because my friend bre, invited me and him, and a couple other people to her birthday party. In the beginning, he took his jacket off and gave it to bre. Bre didnt want it so i put it on, and kept it on for the rest of the night, he didnt mention anything, later on, we where both 'trapped' on her trampoline as he put it. So after we both are off the thing everyone decides to go back in, and i ended up twisting my ankle. By the time i made it to a couch, because no one was listening to me when i asked them to quit jostling my ankle, and took off my sock he was right next to me, asking if i was ok, and he stayed witg me untill i had to go home.and offerd to walk me to my moms car. And when jordan made a rude comment about how she could use her broken arm when she broke it, Timpani said "i would like to twist her ankle until she cant walk on it and see how she likes it."

So, i want to ask him out, but i have no clue what to say. Ive never asked anyone out before.

[EclipticChaos]

M's Mother told me to stay away, but I can't. At all.

[ardentsongbird]

Crazy thing had happened yesterday 0-0

Starting off, I heard my crush, M, had a girlfriend. Of course, I was upset. I ask my friends if they would be upset if they found out their crush had a girlfriend, and they said yes. Afterwards, I am waiting outside my class room door, waiting for the teacher. My half-cousin, D (( he's a guy )), asks if something was wrong. Since he didn't know whom my crush was, and I told him it was M. Then, M starts coming around the corner, and I tell D not to tell him. Of course, M was close friends with D. Then, J, (( another friend )) quickly walks over to M, and I don't know what she asks him. Then, D follows. We were allowed to enter the room, so I sat on the corner and on the floor, since we didn't have chairs that day. Anyway, after that D, M, and DJ (( a guy I have a small crush on )) comes and sits beside me. They have their own conversation, and I just listen. M turns to me and asks me, " Are you still depressed? " and I nodded. He chuckled lightly and turns back to him friends. The teacher calls him to do something, and when he got back, he leaned on my knee...
It was so unexpected, since he never sat so close to me, even if he didn't have a choice. Then, D and DJ asked if I had a boyfriend, and I replied, " No. I never had one. "
D then asks if he wanted to go out with him, and I couldn't help but laugh a little. I said, " Are we half-cousins? " I knew he was joking, since he already had a girlfriend. He laughed and replied, " Oh. Well, I don't follow laws! "

Anyway, since I can text M, should I text him? I'm afraid I would come off as weird for trying to talk to him. Also, it would awkward since we have nothing to talk about...

[Zadkiel]

I have a crush on two guys that go to my college right now. They both know I like them and they really don't care, which is both good and bad. The guy I like the most actually made out with me and now after that we hardly talk at all and it's really pissing me off. I just want to talk to him and know what the hell he is thinking! I feel so different when we talk, like I get butterflies in my damn stomach. That doesn't usually happen to me with anyone... ugh.

[kboys]

I know every time I come back here it's about someone new , but this guy .
He's it . I can't get my mind off him , off his smile , off the way he looks at me . I saw him during lunch
and while doing a full scan of the room , I lock eyes with him . He's doing a sly , 'maybe she won't notice'
stare . I like him and maybe he likes me too ? We use to talk about books together , I was comfortable.
We'll call him k .

[.yuanfen]

Uhm
If a guy asks you if you're going to a school dance, is there some implication behind that or...? Me being my socially incapable self didn't think anything of it so I said "Yes, I am going to the dance...I'm third-wheeling."
So he asked if I was okay with third-wheeling, and I said I was fine with it, since it's something I tend to do a lot now that high school has rolled around. I suggested that he just come along for the fun of it, because he sounded kind of upset, in a group with my friends and I, but he said he'd rather go with a date. I told him to ask several girls who I was pretty sure he liked, but he said that he didn't like them anymore/ they never even noticed him. Well, I felt sorry for him, and he didn't really seem to want to talk about it more, so I changed the subject to other things.

To be honest, I didn't think much of it, but today my friend said that somebody had been planning to ask me to the dance. Apparently whoever it was, I had said something upsetting to them. I'm not really sure who that was, and I feel kind of worried that I might have accidentally made a rude comment to someone, so as I'm trying to figure out who it is [ my friend won't tell me ], my friend asks if I'd go to the dance with so-and-so, one of the names in her list including the guy I was talking to the night before. The other name was one of my best friends who I consider more family than anything else, and I know for sure that he'd never be caught dead at a school dance, let alone ask anyone to a dance. So I'm not really sure if she was hinting that guy-from-first-paragraph was going to ask me, or if I've missed the point entirely and I'm going to be surprised.

On that note, what do you do if someone asks you to a school dance, in a public setting, and you don't really want to go with them but you don't want to reject them in front of everyone? And if somebody asks you to a school dance because they like you and you go with them, does that mean you're 'dating'/'going out' after that, or is it just kind of a one-time thing? Sorry for all the questions; I'm asking a few as a favor for my friends as well :b