Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[booshcat]

I'm not really looking for advice, because I don't think anything will help me... but just wanted to vent a bit

The most "popular" (and pretty, and athletic, and funny, and everything... LOL. i don't understand how someone can be all of those things but I'm not exaggerating.) girl in my school asked my friend if the guy I like "was datable". and has been extra interested in him lately.

so im kinda over here like
i don't understand why this is happening the boy's smile makes my whole day better while my some of my friends are like "he's stupid" "he's not even that cute what?" "i mean i guess bc he makes you happy so.. but how did you even see anything in him to begin with"
so he's clearly not that kid who everyone drools over- the girl already hangs out with all of them

[GIGABITE]

uhh...How do you make a guy think you're...
A) SMART
B) Cool
C) Cute
D) LIKABLE????

help me please??

Now hold on there. You can't just pull out a magic trick to make some guy think you're likeable. You must certainly have many qualities that are likeable! You don't need to make anyone "think" anything just be yourself, and if he's the right one, he will like you for who you are! ^^ Sounds cheesy, I'm sure, but it's absolutely true; I've been in enough relationships to put solid backup behind it as well

[not a talking cat]

i have nearly the same problem as you, booshcat ;;

except for me, i was the new kid at the school. when i first saw him, it was like love at first sight. i thought love at first sight was only in cheesy movies or animes or something, but slowly i got to know him better, and now i love both his appearance and his adorable personality. my best friend [i met her on the first day i attended to the new school :B] knew him as a close friend, so i got to talk to him a lot. every time he spots me, he walks up to me with a smile and a 'hey'.

now is the part where the popular girl comes in. i found out not too long ago that this 'popular girl' flirts with him a lot and is always around him, but it's kinda obvious he's annoyed with her. she claims to be his best friend and says that she's dated him a couple times, which only made me more jealous because of how nonchalant she is about saying this stuff about him.

what i'm saying is i'm shy and quiet, and i think my smile is ugly. if i had enough confidence, i would love to be able to walk up to him and say hi, or smile at him every time he passes, or not be so awkward around him.
so, does anyone have any tips on how to be more confident and not so awkward and quiet around him? sorry i just gave my whole story, just thought you'd be able to see how much i wish i could be like this popular girl.

[kavv]

I guess i just got over the guy i've been obsessing with for the longest time.
it just feels weird. empty, i guess. almost as if i just need to like a guy to carry on as usual.
what is my life coming to * moans *

[[x]]

First he has to sit near/beside me in 3 classes, and today he and his friend had to go into my group for bowling/gym today!
And during French we joked around a lot, and I somehow didn't blush. It was amazing though. My friend saw most of it and was trying not to laugh!

[booshcat]

i have nearly the same problem as you, booshcat ;;
- snip -

In my case they haven't dated but she's made it pretty clear to her friends that she wants to.
But I'm right with you there, too unconfident to make a "bold" kind of move or anything.
Probably didn't help that the last time that happened to me, I stepped up and said hi and introduced myself to the new kid in my grade (he was cute too), he said hi, and quite literally ran away from me. Didn't give me his name or anything. It's a different situation with this kid, but it's still like "oh my god he'll think I'm so weird or ugly or something" lol.

I guess i just got over the guy i've been obsessing with for the longest time.
it just feels weird. empty, i guess. almost as if i just need to like a guy to carry on as usual.
what is my life coming to * moans *

if it makes you feel better you eventually get over it and don't even want to look at them after a while.. haha. I liked a kid for 4 years straight, we talked a lot and hung out the first 2 years then we kinda drifted. Finally got over it and now I can't stand seeing him in the hallways. It's good once you move on!!

[raezel]

i kind of need help getting over somebody. i see him pretty much on a daily basis, but we don't talk, just kind of exchange glances.
we both had a thing for a while, and apparently he had it way worse for me than i did for him, which is good for me.
it's just i always missed something about him, but i finally figured out i just missed the attention he gave me, but not him.
still, seeing him in the halls and him talking to me on fleeting occasions still kind of gets me all fluttery, but it goes away in time.

keep in mind i miss the attention he gave me, the physical attention i've never had before, like hugging and snuggling.
while i'm now in a long distance relationship, this is only my second relationship, and my first was long distance as well.
needless to say, i haven't ever felt physical touch from someone before, and that's what he provided in that short time frame.
seeing him makes me remember all of it, and i think that's what gets me riled up. usually it's something in the back of my mind, though.

[RyderRai]

I dont think I need advice... just a moment to rant...

My ex and I broke up in May, after a year and a half of being together. During our relationship he treated me well.... took me to dinner and to see movies and whatnot. I was happy... when he was here. Which was once a week. Every sunday night we would do something. If it wasnt sunday night, he couldnt be bothered to text me or hang out with me. At first it really bothered me, but I eventually fell into his routine. Sometimes I wou ld confront him about it and things would get better for a while. He would do little things that really irritated me. For instance, I said I wanted to go to a fire so the next night he comes over smelling like a fire. I said I wanted to go to the zoo, so the folllowing weekend he took his son to the zoo while I sat home bored. I just dealt with it. What finally pushed me over the edge was in May I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Three guys had found me on the sidewalk at work. My mans reaction? "Oh she'll live" I got home at ten.. he got out of work at eleven ( he works about five minutes from my house) and he didnt call, text, or visit. So I ended it that night, without telling him the reason I was hospitalized

Fast forward five months: we are still broken up... but he now calls, visits, and texts more than ever. Sunday he invited me to go see a movie and we made plans to go bowling. Im worried though. Nothing he does makes sense and its leaving me frustrated!

[pizzas and scream]

uhh...How do you make a guy think you're...
A) SMART
B) Cool
C) Cute
D) LIKABLE????

help me please??

you cant force anything you have to become friends first

you fight his foes to the ground, if his foes come after him, you swoop in and play hero and fight them off. Like one from a comic book that gets the girl for getting the bad guys. so if someone is going to beat him up, hit them with a chair.

that is how it works right? I would do that.

This is for every girl

When u think your in love becuase hes cute or if shes cute .... just wait for real love it happens when nobodys expects it

your words of that, for here, are ment to be the wisdom to better ourself. but some people would do it to be mean, like "oh shut up so and so, you only want them for their face, you don't love them. stop being a bad horrible shallow selfish person. Oh my you churn my stomach you greedy monster fiend, so dirty like a mud eater, how could you? you are a bad bad person. you should feel bad"
then that is bullying. But I would love to see outcomes. "people are mean to me because I wanted to date the attractive looking one, and rejected the not so attractive one with the health problems, someone please feel sorry for me"
ad then people do feel sorry for them. because they get bullied for being shallow.
and then someone like me will want people to re-think the anti bully thing.
and then someone like me will go "haha, see, it is bad to make someone feel wrong for wanting to be romatic with someone they find good looking, stop being a bully and telling me I am a deplorable shallow person. the idea of a 5 month long "wait and see" makes me upset, and If I cannot be physicaly attracted to someone, a relationship won't work. or is it a guy should be thrown away if they value physical aspects of a relationship? who wants a lover that can't even cuddle them because of reasons?"

I need someone I find attractive. at least to get over my intimacy phoboa. if any of you here are afraid of even hugging, or rubbing your face aginst another face, or sheepish little smooches. would it be easier to practice on someone that makes you loose your mind? if your bonds are only like best buds? the old "guys and gals can't be just buddies". could any of you smooch and cuddle and hold hands like that with "just your buddie" or if you needed to practice hugging for love on your "just a buddy" so when you persue your "not so good looking significant other" it is going to be easier, to give them hugs on the 3rd "let's get to know each other" meet up?

if the male buddies I had growing up. If I never fancied them, then something went wrong. and that is how the ideal world works. but it dosen't . so we need thousands of worthless, how too guides on attraction and hunting for a lover.(like when an adult will play stupid while food shoping to get noticed by asking someone what to do with carrots)

I think now, dating practices would be better of, if done early. the longer one waits and dosne't even try, the worse the phobias become, the harder it is. and then you need an expert to teach you how to want to even just hug and kiss. because people don't like it if "wait, so you might need 7 months of constant contact to feel physical affection for me? this relationship won't work, and you don't think you are anything in the ACE spectrum? but think you want this, you want this but can't go through with this? that is like when some vegetarians don't think bird and fish flesh are meat"

[thunderofthedrum]

I dont think I need advice... just a moment to rant...

My ex and I broke up in May, after a year and a half of being together. During our relationship he treated me well.... took me to dinner and to see movies and whatnot. I was happy... when he was here. Which was once a week. Every sunday night we would do something. If it wasnt sunday night, he couldnt be bothered to text me or hang out with me. At first it really bothered me, but I eventually fell into his routine. Sometimes I wou ld confront him about it and things would get better for a while. He would do little things that really irritated me. For instance, I said I wanted to go to a fire so the next night he comes over smelling like a fire. I said I wanted to go to the zoo, so the folllowing weekend he took his son to the zoo while I sat home bored. I just dealt with it. What finally pushed me over the edge was in May I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. Three guys had found me on the sidewalk at work. My mans reaction? "Oh she'll live" I got home at ten.. he got out of work at eleven ( he works about five minutes from my house) and he didnt call, text, or visit. So I ended it that night, without telling him the reason I was hospitalized

Fast forward five months: we are still broken up... but he now calls, visits, and texts more than ever. Sunday he invited me to go see a movie and we made plans to go bowling. Im worried though. Nothing he does makes sense and its leaving me frustrated!

Honestly, that is REALLY crummy of him to take your ideas and then completely exclude you when he took action with them. If you'd already met his son and such, I do not see why you couldn't have gone to the zoo! If that sort of thing happened frequently, then I completely understand being fed up. It sounded like you were his girlfriend only one day a week, and it simply doesn't work that way! To not even text or call during the rest of the week.. yeesh. To be blunt, that would have made me worry that he was seeing multiple people. You can't compartmentalize your life and the people in it like that, to restrict what access they have to you. Not if they really mean something and you hope to keep them around.

That he showed no concern when you were hospitalized is absolutely unacceptable, and I'm glad you ended it. My ex did much smaller things, but even with that I put up with it for far too long. I can be a little too understanding, too tolerant. I put up with things far longer than my friends would have, making excuses for him. Then finally I was just.. fed up. I was done. And he wasn't there for me sometimes, but nothing with hospitals. Missed some important days for me, including my graduation from university. Put responsibilities on me that should NOT have been mine to struggle with.

To me it sounds like he is perhaps realizing that he enjoyed spending time with you and is trying to get it back, but from the activities and interactions you've mentioned it sounds like he is heading towards dating again - or at least being good friends, even with benefits. It may be a case of not knowing what he had until he lost it. But what worries me is that yes, maybe he's doing better so far in keeping contact with you, but does he fully understand the impact of how he treated you before? If you're feeling so confused, I think it's very important to talk to him about this. He may not have all the answers, but he needs to grow up and confront that there ARE questions that need to be answered, such as how you felt before, where this is heading, what you want, what he wants, what will be different, etc. And, if you feel you don't want to date him again, you have to put your foot down. My ex still pretty much assumed we'd eventually get back together, still saw me as his 'forever', and I absolutely did not feel that way. I know he learned a lot from our time together, but still I don't want to risk that happening again and in other ways I feel I simply outgrew what he had to offer. For you.. I have no idea what would be 'best'. But I wish you luck.