Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[thunderofthedrum]

Okay so, I have been rather moody this entire month(no, I swear I'm not pregnant, just... Moody) and I'm usually like this every once in a while, since its quite natural for me. Its an odd thing I have. So I've been noticing that it feels as though my boyfriend is more into the video games until he tells himself to stop... Whenever he spends the night, he plays until 3 or 6am and finally cuddles up next to me. It saddens me, actually, not being able to feel his touch when I first lay down, we just kiss each other(or I have to peck him on the cheek) and say goodnight. I feel like I'm a mother rather than a girlfriend, and that makes me feel... uncomfortable... Since I truly love him, and never wish to lose him in any stupid or reasonable way. Its just we only have good, and deepish conversations when he decides to go have a smoke, usually we never talk at all! I try talking to him while hes gaming, but I end up getting a "What did you say, hun?" "What was that?" no matter how loudly I speak, he still barely listens! It tears me in half. I would play the video games with him, but its hard enough trying to also get back into the computer games, and xbox has been worse for me, due to my bottled up anger coming out. Plus, all of the games are only one player except for a few that we never play unless I beg him to... I feel like.. I'm no longer his interest, like he just comes over to only play more video games without having to wake up his grandma(he has to help her around the house ever since her husband was put in a nursing home), and it just hurts so much knowing that it wont be the same as I first saw him again. I missed that jelly feeling I got when I got to see him again, it was a wonderful feeling, a feeling I've never had before, and I miss all of the cuddling we always had. Now its just things that make me feel as though he isn't interested anymore... I would try to talk to him about it, but what if I hurt him? I don't ever wish to upset my lover, and he doesn't like to see me upset. I have to usually fake a smile and that hurts worse...

I don't know what to do... He acts interested, then he ends up getting distant on me... Help? Anyone? Please...

I experienced something similar. It wasn't just video games though; it was.. his attitude. I started to see that in little ways he adores me, but in big ways he took me for granted. He's letting things slip through the cracks with you - he likes doesn't realize how frequently this has been happening, doesn't stop to think about how it's making you feel. I have definitely gone to sleep SO many times while my ex played video games or played guitar or other things. I understand those are his hobbies and he cares about them and enjoys them. But letting them be top priority and then fussing at me that we didn't do anything together (or, in your case, having you feel like he's not even there with you) is just not right.

He needs to be told how this has been making you feel. It's tough and you want to avoid conflict and the potential of hurting his feelings, I get all of that. Took me several months to speak up and the damage my ex did was much worse and ruined my trust in him, hurt me financially, and just made me fed up! Yet it still took so long because I knew how much I meant to him. In our case, I wanted to break up. Your guy has been going through a transition of having more responsibility with his grandma, and honestly he needs to figure out a way to play games at his own place, such as turning it down low or using headphones. It doesn't matter if that's a 'sacrifice' to him; that's part of having responsibilities as a grown up. You do what you gotta do, after all. You are feeling taken for granted, like your time with him is wasted, ignored, and basically bumped to the bottom of his priorities in some ways. Occasionally is understandable, but if this has turned into a pattern, a consistent thing, then it's time to raise a red flag and call his attention to it.

Maybe you guys can make sure to have a date or try to agree on him not doing it too often. It SUCKS to say 'good night' reluctantly and be practically ignored, walking away feeling very alone to curl up in a cold empty bed while he's just a room away. I totally understand, trust me. He's assuming that it's fine, that you are fine. Those assumptions can turn into worse things. The communication has got to be there. It's going to be hard, but if you guys can tackle this and talk about it and try to compromise, then I feel it will strengthen your understanding of each other's needs in the relationship.

[Aragami]

Okay so, I have been rather moody this entire month(no, I swear I'm not pregnant, just... Moody) and I'm usually like this every once in a while, since its quite natural for me. Its an odd thing I have. So I've been noticing that it feels as though my boyfriend is more into the video games until he tells himself to stop... Whenever he spends the night, he plays until 3 or 6am and finally cuddles up next to me. It saddens me, actually, not being able to feel his touch when I first lay down, we just kiss each other(or I have to peck him on the cheek) and say goodnight. I feel like I'm a mother rather than a girlfriend, and that makes me feel... uncomfortable... Since I truly love him, and never wish to lose him in any stupid or reasonable way. Its just we only have good, and deepish conversations when he decides to go have a smoke, usually we never talk at all! I try talking to him while hes gaming, but I end up getting a "What did you say, hun?" "What was that?" no matter how loudly I speak, he still barely listens! It tears me in half. I would play the video games with him, but its hard enough trying to also get back into the computer games, and xbox has been worse for me, due to my bottled up anger coming out. Plus, all of the games are only one player except for a few that we never play unless I beg him to... I feel like.. I'm no longer his interest, like he just comes over to only play more video games without having to wake up his grandma(he has to help her around the house ever since her husband was put in a nursing home), and it just hurts so much knowing that it wont be the same as I first saw him again. I missed that jelly feeling I got when I got to see him again, it was a wonderful feeling, a feeling I've never had before, and I miss all of the cuddling we always had. Now its just things that make me feel as though he isn't interested anymore... I would try to talk to him about it, but what if I hurt him? I don't ever wish to upset my lover, and he doesn't like to see me upset. I have to usually fake a smile and that hurts worse...

I don't know what to do... He acts interested, then he ends up getting distant on me... Help? Anyone? Please...

I experienced something similar. It wasn't just video games though; it was.. his attitude. I started to see that in little ways he adores me, but in big ways he took me for granted. He's letting things slip through the cracks with you - he likes doesn't realize how frequently this has been happening, doesn't stop to think about how it's making you feel. I have definitely gone to sleep SO many times while my ex played video games or played guitar or other things. I understand those are his hobbies and he cares about them and enjoys them. But letting them be top priority and then fussing at me that we didn't do anything together (or, in your case, having you feel like he's not even there with you) is just not right.

He needs to be told how this has been making you feel. It's tough and you want to avoid conflict and the potential of hurting his feelings, I get all of that. Took me several months to speak up and the damage my ex did was much worse and ruined my trust in him, hurt me financially, and just made me fed up! Yet it still took so long because I knew how much I meant to him. In our case, I wanted to break up. Your guy has been going through a transition of having more responsibility with his grandma, and honestly he needs to figure out a way to play games at his own place, such as turning it down low or using headphones. It doesn't matter if that's a 'sacrifice' to him; that's part of having responsibilities as a grown up. You do what you gotta do, after all. You are feeling taken for granted, like your time with him is wasted, ignored, and basically bumped to the bottom of his priorities in some ways. Occasionally is understandable, but if this has turned into a pattern, a consistent thing, then it's time to raise a red flag and call his attention to it.

Maybe you guys can make sure to have a date or try to agree on him not doing it too often. It SUCKS to say 'good night' reluctantly and be practically ignored, walking away feeling very alone to curl up in a cold empty bed while he's just a room away. I totally understand, trust me. He's assuming that it's fine, that you are fine. Those assumptions can turn into worse things. The communication has got to be there. It's going to be hard, but if you guys can tackle this and talk about it and try to compromise, then I feel it will strengthen your understanding of each other's needs in the relationship.

Thank you so much for answering, I will try to talk to him tomorrow, because honestly it was starting to feel like my last relationship, and that relationship was NOT a good one with all the stupidity and clingy behavior, then the ex was living with me whenever he decided to move with me, my sister, and my dad to a new state. This ex, mind you, was more of a woman than an actual man, he would cry over the simplest things then go talk to the lady we were living with besides talking to me, I felt so... Masculine... With how my personality is and adding on being bisexual, my ex actually called me that... Ugh... That D word, the one that's usually, and sadly used on lesbians. I honestly hope my relationship doesn't escalate into that, but without him crying or anything since he can't really cry, since he doesn't know all of his emotions at all except for anger, neutral, and a bit of love.. Its probably because of that, how he was hurt all these years by other ladies, hes just a little box filled with hatred and mostly played his video games, worked, and perhaps run maybe one or two errands for his grandma.

Or it could have been the fact... That my ex tried breaking us up a week after me and my boyfriend have been dating. Tried saying that there was a girl he has been dating and decided to date me as well. Trust me, I wasn't happy about it either, I would have done much more than chew him out for doing that, plus doing that to the poor girl, she actually did think she was still dating him, but they broke up perhaps one or two years ago? It could have been all of the drama my boyfriend faced, and the fact of how I'm living with my mother, that he is usually so distant, because he might just want to relax, try and zone out into his own world and forget about everything, because I've been through that too, but zoning out more than a few minutes isn't really a way to go, so something could be bothering him... I just hope I'm not being overreacting to him, or hopefully I'm not the reason he is like this.. I just want to continue to be happy with him, so I will indeed try talking to him tomorrow.

[thunderofthedrum]

You are very welcome!! My ex wasn't clingy but there were definitely issues between our personalities and backgrounds. We just weren't able to relate to each other in some very fundamental, important ways. As for using terms like masculine or feminine, I find it hard to really do that, myself. Yeah, in some relationships the girl is the one that has to make sure things get done, while in others it's the guy. In my previous relationship he was used to having control over his life, yet he wasn't taking care of his responsibilities. With the relationship I'm getting into now, I trust the guy to take care of his obligations and in some ways he provides the structure and self control I can learn from. So before, it was me in charge of the bills, but now it would be the guy. Just depends. Slapping labels on and being accused of things and called names simply because you're the one that wants to be mature and responsible.. I find that stupid. I believe there is nothing wrong with a man crying now and then, but I don't think anyone should be crying on a weekly basis. You say the current guy has a lot of anger, I actually understand that as well. Would being rational help at all? Like looking at it more as changing the percentage of how often y'all's nights end like that? No one likes being forced to schedule their romance but letting him know you want some quality time with him (where you actually have his full attention) is perfectly reasonable. You could maybe discuss and plan date nights ahead of time? And I don't know your schedule - maybe you could work on something while he does video games until a certain time, at which you both stop and do something together? For example, my dude is busy with Army stuff for the next few weeks and only has a smidgen of evening time to share with me during the week, so I'm trying to use that free time to get my own work done.

And keep in mind, you mentioned zoning out for more than a few minutes isn't something you agree with. He may always handle his problems differently than you. He may need more alone time than you. But you wouldn't better know his differences and needs until you talk about it. My brother was still getting to know his girlfriend and communication was sometimes an issue. He felt like they weren't always on the same page but she at some point got some 'personality type' book and they've had fun looking through it and being able to identify themselves through the book, as well as better understand each other (plus it was bonding time). Now, with my current guy our communication is more than I could've asked for and I'm immensely grateful for it, so I've been decently able to learn what his needs are, his personality, how he handles stress, etc. But if we hadn't had things go so perfectly right from the beginning then I would consider such a book, myself (particularly after hearing that it was fun and really helpful for them). I'm not a big label person but I do think it's important to find avenues to better understand the person you are with, and to have them better understand you.

[pizzas and scream]

Okay, well, this is awkward. I have an overnight field trip tomorrow, and according to some people who went before, we have to walk into dinner with someone of the opposite gender. Like a date. And I'm terrified, because my crush will be on that trip. But it's also uncomfortable, because my friends were talking about it at lunch, and they were asking if there were any cute boys on my team. Why yes, there are. In my opinion. But another girl said there weren't, and I didn't want to say anything, especially because I'm not the kind of girl who notices boys for their cuteness-actually, I usually judge them on their intelligence and how nice he is. But so awkward!

that is good. because I always wonder about that. what the chances are of "uh...hey.................I think y.......oou are...........cute............" and "It has come to my attintion you are a great person and have traits I like. this is where I start flirting and being shy about asking you out"

because it is, normaly that or "ohhh my friend here thinks you are cute" and there goes the banter, and denail, and giggling, of the friend playing match maker. and never with a singsong voice "my friend has a secrete, teeheem they think you have the sharpist wit, and the brightest intellegence and a mark of a true gentleman hero"

I'm told when someone is very into the people, they can go from looking like a living version of Ziggy(from the comics) to a young Carly Elwes in no time flat

[Keeki]

The boy I like hasn't texted me back in a couple days. This is NOT like him. I'm worried about him.

[cautiousculpeo]

I'm very ticked off.
So I have been dating my BF Lynx for almost a year now. We started last January.
We were best friends before we started dating and he waited two years until I was ready for a relationship, not dating anyone else just waiting for me.
We have a strong relationship and it is going great.

But when people start to talk to me about him? That ticks me off.
I know he is not perfect, and made some wrong choices. But so did I. He didn't go and "sleep around" or kill someone. He got caught up with the wrong crowd, but shortly after left them and ignores them now.
People always go out of there way to tell me that he will just leave me for some s**t or girl wanting s*x
We are seniors in high school, and both of us are 100 % waiting until marriage. (Both believe that we really don't need to have that kind of a relationship while we are still in school.)
I really don't think it should bother me that much but when people tell me that my very trustworthy, faithful and caring boyfriend will leave me? I think I have a right to be mad.

I mean they can think what they want, but keep it to yourselves.

Any advice on how to deal with stupid people like that?

[Siddy]

The boy I like hasn't texted me back in a couple days. This is NOT like him. I'm worried about him.

He's probably perfectly fine uwu
I'm the same way, so I'm not gonna blame ya for worrying, but sometimes people just need alone time, due to stress or other personally problems, just give him some time c:

I'm very ticked off.
So I have been dating my BF Lynx for almost a year now. We started last January.
We were best friends before we started dating and he waited two years until I was ready for a relationship, not dating anyone else just waiting for me.
We have a strong relationship and it is going great.

But when people start to talk to me about him? That ticks me off.
I know he is not perfect, and made some wrong choices. But so did I. He didn't go and "sleep around" or kill someone. He got caught up with the wrong crowd, but shortly after left them and ignores them now.
People always go out of there way to tell me that he will just leave me for some s**t or girl wanting s*x
We are seniors in high school, and both of us are 100 % waiting until marriage. (Both believe that we really don't need to have that kind of a relationship while we are still in school.)
I really don't think it should bother me that much but when people tell me that my very trustworthy, faithful and caring boyfriend will leave me? I think I have a right to be mad.

I mean they can think what they want, but keep it to yourselves.

Any advice on how to deal with stupid people like that?

Sadly, there's no way to get rid of people like that, and I'm the type of person that'll beat the / out of people for talking about my friends in that manner, and I know not everybodies like that, which is fine, it's probably better if you don't attack people if want me to be honest XD
But maybe just try to tell them you don't care, or just completely ignore them, sure it's not that easy, but if you act as if it's bothering you, people won't stop doing what they're doing, it'll just get worse.
I don't know, everyone's different, but I would give it a try c:

[GIGABITE]

Hey guys, Smolder here with a little happy vent

So... my crush. He now calls me by my desired nickname, Ash, and it is the most adorable thing ever
He sort of picked it up from drivers ed; I requested at the start of the class that the teacher call me Ash, and he transitioned from not saying my name much at all, to tentatively calling me Ash, to confidently near the end of today's class

I know it might seem odd to enjoy that so much, but I love it when people refer to me as Ash, and not Alexis or Lexi. I'm agender, and feel happiest with a unisex nickname

Also I plan on asking for his number tomorrow but cripes on a cracker I'm nervous

Oh well, I'm just making things harder on myself. We're friends. It'll be easy. I think.

Anyways, vent over. Enjoy

[~IronRose~]

I miss him so much. It's been a year and I'm still not over him. I don't know if I should talk to him or not. I just not sure what to do

[wicked;]

Does it make me a complete ass that this guy was on my ask and apparently liked mee... Keeping in mind, toy never see other gay guys in my city. So, he's telling me things about himself and I was so sure it was the person I liked too... But it ended up being someone I've never even talked to before but just seen around..

Like, I don't know what to say. Or think. I have to face him tomorrow too.. UGH.